Disclaimer: I own nothing – at least nothing Transformers related.
AN: I honestly don't know where this particular chapter came from. I first wanted to write a traditional Starscream G1 angst fanfiction but then I became aware that there are so many of this kind out there… And that there was a whole show about his angsty episodes.
So I started anew and suddenly, this thing wrote itself with the help of my fingers and my laptop….
Corrected by mdnytryder. Thanks.
6/28 Angsty (Movie 2007)
If he thought really hard about it, his stay here was pointless.
But then, it had been pointless to return to this disgusting little ball of space rock and organic infection to begin with.
There was no real reason that Starscream was here, imprisoned in a little cell, far away from Cybertron. Caught because of tiny – organic life was always tiny, but that wasn't important at this particular moment – younglings and their love for lethal machines and sticky finger-paints.
The iron bars in front of him crackled with blue energy whenever he touched them, but were essentially useless against his superior strength. If he wanted, he could leave this place in, perhaps, two or three days maximum, five hours if he was really lucky. All he needed to do was recalibrate and adjust his systems to neutralize the energy of the prison bars.
So, why was he still here?
Why did he accept this imprisonment without much fuss? Sure, there were some insults here and there, some threats and several really nasty suggestions about the future, but no real struggle, not even any severed limbs or scratched paint.
Why did he sit here, in the darkness of his much-too-small cell and waited patiently for the Autobots to take him outside so that he could fly a little bit?
Supervised, naturally, with the threat of a lethal bomb right next to his Spark Casing if he left a certain area or decided to play the Decepticon version of "Tag" with the curious little human soldiers who always, always stood on the ground and watched him in awe, as if they never had seen a flying object before.
Humans were strange he mused, and stretched his arms to fold them behind his head. They were always watching, not only when he flew, but they also came here to goggle through the bars and to whisper to each other as if he couldn't hear them.
They were fascinated with him, of the Decepticon who downed their best aerial war machines as if they were mere paper flyers, who ripped their plating apart like aluminum foil, who danced between the clouds, played with the winds and brought grace to warfare, normally so ugly a profession.
But it wasn't only that, they were fascinated with other things, too.
The differences between him and the Autobots for example.
Why did they fight?
Sure, there was this cube thingy, and the Decepticons were evil and had to die – that their little organic brains could comprehend. But all the finer points, the real differences, the history of the two factions and the war they had fought for millennia, this is what they kept asking questions about.
As if the concepts of tyranny and freedom were so hard to grasp.
Really.
Starscream snorted and glared up at the ceiling of his cell.
Humans fought even now for the same reasons his race had split. The same reasons, the same views, the same perceptions of good and evil, warped and twisted by both sides beyond recognition.
And still they wouldn't understand that some enhanced robotic race from outer space was, at least in this respect, exactly the same as them.
Well, not exactly the same. Starscream shifted again at the thought, this time looking to the floor to hide his bitter optics.
If he were perfectly honest with himself - and he wasn't often, even he knew that - then he had to admit that Cybertronians were a lot crueler and more flawed than these little bunches of nerve clusters, bones and muscles.
Perhaps crueler than humans ever could be….
But these strange, little fleshbags had so much time in the future to develop, to grow like Optimus Prime so liked to preach.
Starscream really wished to be around to see the face of this giant annoyance if his precious pets grew up to become the perfect image of his own race.
He would like to be around to see his horror, to see his sadness, to see the knowledge creeping over his face that this universe loved circles and repetitions, and cruel circles all the more.
He would stand there and laugh in his face, say to him "I told you so! We told you so!" and to mock him, that it would have been better for this world if the Decepticons had ruled it, if only to spare the former dominant race this little bit of their already fragile innocence….
He would….
He would say nothing and walk away.
Prime wouldn't need him to tell him things he knew already, and Starscream couldn't bear to see another planet tear itself apart like Cybertron.
Cybertron….
The humans were interested in external differences, too.
By now, they were used to the more humanoid appearances of the Autobots, their curves and friendly colors, their bright blue optics and more open forms.
He was still considered an exotic specimen to them, even after months of imprisonment.
They compared him to a bird sometimes, or, even more often, ancient carnivores.
They feared his teeth, his sharp claws and his piercing red optics. Their eyes wandered over his heavy armored shape and the, at least in their view, twisted and strange limbs.
His whole appearance screamed "Danger" and "Warrior" to them, even "Animal".
Starscream suspected the humans would never realize that even his own race had the same reaction to military class mechs like himself. Made for warfare and death, living drones who made the mistake of becoming more sentinent than they should be, more than they needed to be.
Mechs like him were fuel inefficient, dangerous, prone to violence and bloodshed and, above all, stupid and only good for the one thing they were created for.
War.
He doubted the Autobots knew that he had been a scientist once, long before the war. The only Seeker scientist, the only one of his kind who had ever obtained the right to even try to pass the acceptance test of the Academy.
But then, Starscream had no intention of telling them anytome soon.
He had disabled the bomb near his Spark some days after they first planted it - and he could live without the constant threat of death, thank you very much.
The Seeker would stay here as long as he wanted, out of his own free will and not out of fear of termination.
But now, he was back to the thought that constantly gnawed at his processor.
Why did he stay?
He could escape, he could fly back to Cybertron, he could noses hide right under the Autobot's but still he chose to stay here, in this tiny prison under their guard.
Why had he even returned to Earth?
He had sent a signal to the remaining Decepticons to inform them of Megatron's termination and the destroyed Allspark.
Primus, he even had declared himself Supreme Commander – he had sent the message,but then he had returned to the planet he so utterly loathed.
Why?
Cybertron wasn't even so far away if he flew in a straight line and not in the strange zigzag course, jumping from planet to planet like they had before.
Why had he decided to wait here and not gather his troops to himself?
Why had he not searched after Scorponok, or forced Barricade to report to him and wait together for reinforcements?
Why had he searched for an Air base dangerously near the Autobot Headquarters, disguising himself as one of their jets, even letting the disgusting humans touch him, as long as they didn't try to fly him?
Why had he let the Autobots catch him?
Why was he still here?
Were they a substitute to the now dead Megatron and his strict rules?
Was he still here because he knew that they would be nicer to him than Barricade, the only other intelligent Cybertronian here on Earth?
Was he afraid to get lost alone in space?
Autobots always stayed together, or at least near each other, so he could be sure that another Cybertronian would always be just an insult away….
Was it because he liked the attention the humans so freely gave him?
Was it because he thought that the war was lost?
Why, why, why….
Starscream stood up as he heard the familiar sound of Prime's footsteps in front of his cell door. He didn't acknowledge the friendly greeting nor the inane gossip or whatever the tall Autobot said to him on their way out into the evening sunshine.
Why?
He was only here to learn more about the Autobots, their routines, their weaknesses, right?
Yes, that was the reason. He was sure that was it...
And when his troops finally arrived, he would leave, laughing at their stupidity, and avenge Megatron and the destruction of their home planet.
Yes, this alone was the reason he was still here.
He was sure….
I understand "Angsty" here like "Existenzangst" in German or something like that.
I'm not even sure if I succeed in fulfilling the prompt/request, but somehow I like it.