I had gone to bed with everything that Leslie and my mom had said running through my mind. I was still having a hard time believing that Les hadn't been completely opposed to it from the get go… maybe that said something right there. And my mom had somehow managed to talk me down from the cliff of crazy that I had walked myself out onto earlier… as much as it was still plaguing me, worrying about what he wanted shouldn't be the priority. I am the priority.

I woke up that morning still unsure of what to do. As I started a pot of coffee I was starting to feel pathetic all over again, letting the life I had built for myself come to a screeching halt over a guy… But Logan wasn't just 'a guy.' With my fresh cup of coffee, I sat down at the table, ready to make a final pro-con list, but when I took my first sip I suddenly had an epiphany…

All these years, I have been hurt and angry and depressed because he walked away. I may have said no, but I have been blaming him all this time because HE walked away. Now it was ME who was considering walking away?

It suddenly became clear to me what he had meant about "deserving it" if I didn't show up. And what my mom had said about finding closure… This is what I had wanted years ago, after he left it was all I had wanted. I may have been a different person then, but sitting here drinking my coffee I finally realized the answer I had been looking for since he had called... Whether or no he deserved for me to talk to him, I deserved for him to talk to me.

With my new-found sense of self-worth I decided to jump in the shower before I could change my mind again. I still had no idea what his actual intentions were when he arranged this meeting, but the only way I was going to find out was to show up.

I got out of the shower and downed another cup of coffee before I called my mom. I didn't want to talk about it, I might end up changing my mind; I only wanted to let her know what I had decided.

"Well, all right then." Even without elaborating I knew that she thought I was making the right choice, and as frustrated as I had been with her ambiguous answers last night, I appreciated her more than ever for making me come to this conclusion on my own.

All she said before we hung up was, "I love you, kiddo."

"I know, Mom… Thanks." It was rare for my mom and I to have a short and sweet, no distractions conversation, but it was exactly what I needed.

As promised, I sent Leslie a text message to let her know the outcome of what I had thought would be a never ending debate. "I'm going." I had a feeling that I wouldn't get off as easily with her as I had with my mom, and sure enough, my phone rang only a second later.

"Are you sure? You've absolutely decided? You're not going to back out at the last minute? What are you wearing?"

She finally paused long enough for me to respond, "Yes, yes, no, and I have no idea."

"I think you should keep it casual… slightly sexy, but casual. You don't want to seem too eager, but you have to let him know what he has been missing out on."

"You had nothing yesterday, but now you suddenly have all these opinions?"

"Honey, have I ever steered you wrong when it comes to clothes?"

Only one occasion crossed my mind, but I doubted she was going to suggest leopard print and cowboy boots again, so with a sigh, I relented, "What do you have in mind?"

"I'm coming over."

I'm not sure how she did it, but in half the time it usually takes her to get from her apartment to mine, she was crashing through my door, dripping water from her umbrella all over the floor. Sure enough, the dark clouds from yesterday had opened up and were drenching the city of New York. I hope this isn't a bad omen.

"Alright, what have you got so far?" She looked at me as if I had choices ready for her to veto. It had taken me so long to come to a decision at all, that what I was going to wear had not occurred to me until she brought it up.

She rolled her eyes at me when I shrugged my shoulders. "Go dry your hair; I'll take care of this." She gestured to the garment rack and set of drawers in the corner, and immediately began tearing them apart. Apparently, this was a much more urgent matter than I had anticipated. When I came out of the bathroom, I found that she had laid three outfits out across my bed, complete with shoe and jewelry selections. I immediately shot down a dress and cardigan combo, cute, but I would look ridiculous wearing that out in the rain. She agreed, insisting that it only made the cut because the color worked so well with my eyes. We finally settled on a combination of the last two outfits… layering the top and necklaces from the first, with the low cut sweater and dark jeans from the second. I zipped my knee-length, brown leather boots over the legs of my jeans. I was comfortable, which, despite Leslie's protest, I had decided was most important.

I pulled on my coat, wrapped a scarf around my neck, and grabbed my purse. I was ready to pick up my umbrella and head out the door when Leslie asked, "Do we need to arrange an emergency phone call? Some urgent matter that happens to take you away from whatever you are going to call this lunch?"

I seriously considered it for a moment. Still unsure of what I was walking into, having a back-up plan might not be a bad idea, but I decided against it. I was going to stand on my own two feet through this, and if that meant using them to walk out at some point, then so be it.

She and I left the apartment together and headed for the subway station. She was taking one train to get back to her apartment, and I was taking another uptown to get to McConnell's. Before we parted ways she wrapped her arms around me, and assured me she would be there for me, no matter what.

I sat on the train in silence. For once in my life, I was oddly okay with the fact that I did not know what was going to happen. I decided it was better that way, safer. I wouldn't set my heart one way or another.

I got off the train and rounded the ally towards the door to McConnell's. The same door he had been standing in when he had taken me so much by surprise the other night. I stood under my umbrella in the rain for just a minute more before I took a deep breath, and finally opened the door.

** I do not own any characters or content related to Gilmore Girls **

Thank you for all the story follows and favorites! It means a lot to see people enjoying the story as much as I am. I know this is one more chapter that almost gets them to lunch, and it's what you're waiting for, but I wanted to make sure I get it right... It's coming next! Plus inspiration hit for some later chapters that I am really excited about so stay tuned! xx