Never let it be said that Logan Huntzberger is a subtle man.

In college, he threw outrageous parties, had loud friends, and he and his Life and Death Brigade cohorts In-Omnia-Paratus'd their way through unbelievable, even stupid stunts. When we were together, he was famous for grand gestures and lavish displays of affection. And now, here he was, after making a hasty exit from what was supposed to be a friendly lunch, shouting to me in the pouring rain.

"I'm sorry!" He shouted again as he walked closer. When he was standing right in front of me, drenched by the rain, he repeated it for a third time, no longer shouting.

If I had been shocked by his abrupt departure from the bar, I had no idea what I was right now. I pulled myself together enough to hold my umbrella out to cover us both.

"I shouldn't have left."

"You're a busy man Logan, you said it yourself. Forget about it…" I was almost laughing as I said it… sure I was a little irritated by the way he left, but this was really unnecessary.

"Rory… I…" Why was he so worried about walking out on lunch? I tried to read his face, but standing under the umbrella, closer than I had been to him in years, I could only focus on his eyes… His brow was furrowed, he looked… pained.

"…I'm not talking about now… I mean… You… Your graduation… Us… I shouldn't have left. I'm sorry."

I was stunned. I was beyond stunned. I wasn't even sure I was breathing. Everything around me froze… for all I knew, I could have been standing there in utter disbelief for hours.

This was as close to an out of body experience as I had ever come. I was standing inches away from the man who I had loved with all my heart… maybe still loved… The man who had proposed to me and then disappeared from my life, without so much as a phone call. After four years of nothing he shows up and tells me he's sorry? What am I supposed to say to that?

"You're sorry?" I heard the bite in my voice, and I could see the surprise in his face, but for once I was not apologizing for it. Why shouldn't I be upset? I was a mess when he left, even long after he was gone. I spent a year agonizing over the life I thought I threw away when I said no. Now, when I have finally made a life for myself, now that I am finally confident that I had made the right decision all those years ago, now he waltzes in to pull the proverbial rug out from under me?

"Ace, I was wrong to leave, I was wrong not to call you. I was wrong about all of it. I should have fought for you."

I could feel tears running down my cheeks. He lifted his hand to wipe them away but I flinched when touched me. He pulled his hand away quickly. He looked hurt. I was feeling a million things at the same time. He was saying everything I had wanted to hear from him since the minute he walked away. If this were a movie, it would have been the fairy tale happy ending… reunited with the long-lost love of my life, he would have leaned down and kissed me in the rain, and I would have fallen into his arms. But this isn't a movie. This is my life.

"Logan…" My voice was softer than before, but in my heart I knew what I had to say wasn't what he wanted to hear. I couldn't just forget everything that I have gone through. As I stood there I finally felt what my mother had told me… I wasn't the girl who could be won over by some silly skit in the middle of a lecture or by having a coffee cart follow me around. I was a stronger person now. He hadn't fought for us, so I had to fight for myself.

"…It's not that easy. A lot has changed."

"Please, Ace…"

"I'm not the same person I was four years ago…"

"Neither am I! That's the point, Rory. When you turned me down, all I could see was what you were saying no to… the life that I had imagined. I was selfish. You saw the big picture, and I was too blinded by my own bruised ego to be able to look that far. You were the only person that I had ever imagined a life with, and when you didn't want it…"

"I never said I didn't want it! I just wasn't ready for it!"

We were both shouting now. It was raining even harder, but between the yelling and the gesticulating the umbrella was useless. We were entirely exposed to the elements, physically and emotionally.

"I know that now, Rory. I knew it a long time ago. I knew it as soon as I saw your first byline on the campaign. I was just too stubborn and stupid to do anything about it."

"And what about all of the time since then, Logan? It has been four years since…"

"I couldn't do it, Ace!"

"Couldn't do what, Logan? Pick up a phone?" Even I was surprised by how hostile I was coming off, but I couldn't help it. This is the fight we should have had when he left. All of this had been bottled… well, boxed up for years. There was no going back now.

He shot back angrily, "You know the phone works both ways, Rory!"

Now I was really upset, I could not let him turn this around on me. I said no, but him turning his back was not my fault.

"You were the one that walked away, Logan! I told you I wanted us to try to and make it work. I wanted it to work. But you are the one that made it all or nothing. You chose nothing. And I will not apologize for wanting a chance at what I worked my whole life to get."

I couldn't believe that all of that had just come from my mouth. Tears were now rolling down my cheeks and I was having a hard time controlling my breathing. Despite the cold, wet weather, my face was hot. I was waiting for Logan to take his next shot, but it didn't come. Over the course of our argument he had gone from apologetic to passionate to angry, but he wasn't angry any more. He looked… defeated.

"I don't want you to." He was done yelling. He wasn't even looking at me anymore; his eyes had dropped to the ground.

This is not what I wanted. I needed to say everything that I had, to finally get it off of my chest, but I did not want this. I had seen Logan at some of his lowest points, but I never wanted to be what caused them. I lowered my head, trying to catch his gaze.

"I had no right to make you choose. That's why I couldn't bring myself to call you. Not after what you had done for me."

"Logan, I didn't…"

"You did." He finally raised his head to meet my eyes. "You did everything. What you said in there…" he pointed back to the bar, "about me being a Yale slacker, turned success story? You did that."

I felt my chest tighten as he spoke. "You are the one who made all that happen Logan…"

"No, Rory. My dad spent my whole life trying to turn me into something, but you are the one that changed things. You challenged me; you wanted me to be better. Going out on my own, making that first deal in California... hell, this whole company, none of it would have happened without you."

The rain had stopped, but my head was still swimming. The sincerity of his voice was breaking my heart all over again. I wanted him to stop, but he kept going.

"How could I face the fact that I had tried to keep you from your potential, when I knew that you were the only reason that I had any potential at all? I was ashamed."

"I…" I didn't know what to say. All these years I had imagined him being hurt or angry, even hating me for saying no, but ashamed? I just stood there.

"I tried, Ace. When we finalized plans to come to New York, you were the first thing I thought of. That's why I tried to call you. I wanted you to know, I wanted to be the one to tell you. When I found out you changed your number; that you had moved on…"

"Moved on? Logan…" I didn't even know where to begin. "I was a mess when you left. The whole time I was on the campaign... I cried myself to sleep for months. Coming to New York was supposed to be my chance for a fresh start. I tried to move on; I tried to pack you up into a little, tiny box and lock you away… I thought that it was the only way I could move forward with my life. And now that you're here…" There was no denying it anymore, my heart still belonged to Logan Huntzberger. It always had…

He hated that he had hurt me, even more than in what he had said, I could see it in his eyes. He started to say something, but I stopped him. "When I saw you the other night, that little box shattered. I have been a wreck trying to figure out what to do and what to say… trying to figure out if I could handle seeing you today… and now all of this… I just don't know if…

"Rory, please…"

"Logan, I am trying to be honest here…" I really was, with him and myself. "I just don't know if this is a good idea… I don't even know what this is. We've both made mistakes, and we both got hurt. I think it's pretty clear that it has been hard on both of us… Maybe it would be better if we just…" I was just so exhausted and overwhelmed; I needed to process, I needed to sleep. I needed time. I started to back away, but he grasped my hand.

"I am not walking away from you. Not again."

Even after everything that had just happened, everything he had said, I was surprised by it. I looked down at his hand around mine, and then back into his eyes. He meant it… I had no idea what it would mean for me, or for us, but I knew that he meant it. We just stood there for what seemed like forever, his hand holding mine. At the end of it all, the only thing I could come up with was, "Okay."

When he finally let go of my hand, I wasn't sure what to do. He took a few steps back from me before he smiled, "I'll see you around, Ace."

I watched him get into the town car, and when it pulled away I noticed that the clouds had begun to dissipate. For the first time in days I let out a real laugh. I couldn't help it… We had literally cleared the air.

** I do not own any characters or content relating to Gilmore Girls**

A/N - I realize that all of the build up had been to the lunch, and then the lunch ended with another cliff hanger... Please don't hate me! I hope this makes up for it! Read, Enjoy, Comment!