An hour later and Alice was jarred awake by an insistent ringing. She blinked groggily. Looked around and realised she was still lain in the tub. The water was ice cold. She blinked sleepily. Good going Alice. You fell asleep in the bath! You could have killed yourself. Or mostly likely have caught hypothermia! The shrill ringing of the phone told her that's what woke her. She climbed from her bath and pulled on her dressing gown. And answered.
"Lo."
"Alice?" Danny asked worriedly. "I phoned you and Ethan and there was no answer I was so worried."
"I'm ok Danny." she said and failed to suppress a yawn.
"Oh I'm sorry honey I woke you didn't I?" he asked guiltily.
"Look how many times I am fine!" she said tiredly.
"Are you ok by yourself for another hour or two? Your mum has arrived but the specialist wants to talk to me in depth about what will be happening. He got called away."
"GOD! Of course I am. I'm sure everyone thinks I'm stupid or needs a brain transplant. Dupe is here. Ethan is here. If I'm in labour I'll ask Dupe to drive me to hospital!"
She heard the smile in Danny's voice as he spoke. "Sorry honey. I just worry that's all!"
"I know but I am not stupid!"
"Lexi woke up, I wanted to wait till you were here to tell her the good news but the doctor let it slip."
"How did she take it?"
"Over the moon. More animated than she has ever been in ages. That was after she threatened to kick our heads in for putting her through it!"
Alice laughed. "That is our Lex."
"Have you read her letter yet?" he asked.
"No I'm just gonna do it now." she replied.
"Alice I've just read mine it and it broke my heart. Honestly I cried my heart out. These aren't just goodbye mum and dad these are honest to goodness pouring out my heart getting everything off my chest letters. The pure emotion in my letter it just it melted me. I can still feel it beating inside me. It just filled me till I was ready to burst! I'll let you read your letter then I love you ok."
Alice walked from the bathroom and into bedroom. She changed into a pair of Danny's shorts and a t-shirt. She was more comfortable in his clothes now and he didn't mind so she wore them. She felt better being engulfed in his scent too. The t-shirt she wore nearly feel to her knees. God she was so short. She probably looked like an orphaned wraith. She popped her head in the living room. Saw Ethan crashed out on the sofa. She put the letter with the DNA results on the kitchen table then fixed herself a sandwich. She then sat at the table and opened Lexi's letter.
To Mum,
Hello mum. What do I say? I guess I'm gone. Or practically there. Well not really I'll never be completely gone. I'll be around. Everywhere you look. I'm the warmth in the suns rays, and the rainbow in the sky when it rains. And definitely the first snowball on a winters day except you live in Africa and will never see snow again. Oh well you know what I mean right? I just wanna tell you I tried to beat this thing. I really did. I didn't wanna this to take me away. I guess I wasn't strong enough. I wanna tell you I'm sorry for all the crap I put you through in the last 15 years. All he sadness and heartbreak my mere presence must of caused you sometimes. Knowing that I'm here cause of something terrible. I'm sorry I didn't wanna bring that up but I just writing what I feel and inside I feel like you should hate me because of half of who I am. I wouldn't even blame you either, to be honest I hate that part of me too!
I'm also sorry for all the screaming and meanness. You're my mum and I love you. God I'm trying to write these letters like original but I seem to be saying the same things to everyone. These are personalised to who I'm writing them to but they sound the same to me urg! I've tried to write this letter so many times but I always end up scribbling it out and starting again coz this is like my last letter and it HAS to be perfect. So now I'm sat writing what I feel but at the same time avoiding this issue coz I don't wanna lay it on you. I couldn't bear to think of you worrying over me! But I gotta tell you mum. I starting to get scared now. I don't like admitting it but I am.
I feel this big bone crushing soul destroying fear! I mean what if there is no heaven and I just disappear. Or what if hell exists and that's where I end up coz of who created me. I mean essentially I am half a bad person you know. Everyone is trying to tell me different but they're wrong. I know people say you have nothing to fear, but those people are like 500 years old and have been around forever. I've had 15 short years. It's not fair!
Oh god mum I'm sorry I've upset you haven't I. please don't cry. Please! I'll change the subject huh. Daniel? So tell me who's he look like? If he looks like you I owe him £20. Give it to him for me will you? Then of course I owe you £20. I'm good for it honest! Lexi Trevanion always pays her debts. You were - are the best mum ever you know. Don't dare let anyone tell you different. Everything you did was for me.
I know this is your letter but I need to mention a few people. Firstly Ethan. I love him mum. Tell him I do. Tell him I thought of him every minute of every day. I'll stop there I don't want you freaking out. Secondly dad. Not the sperm donor, my real dad. Danny. Again tell him I love him. Tell him I'm sorry too. Tell him he's a beastie dad and no matter what he is my daddy and I guess I'm literally his little ray of sunshine now..
Ok back to you. Right mum I know this sounds weird but I don't want you to cry over me. Please don't. it'll kill me to see you cry. Oops probably not the best word. How about it'll hurt me a lot to see you cry huh? I want me to remember my face when your sad. See my smile and laugh. I want you to remember the good memories the birthdays Christmases and basketball games. Everything like that! And don't you worry about Daniel! I'll take extra special care of him. And you and dad and Ethan. And if you ask nicely I'll have a word with God and maybe send you and dad another miracle. Lexi part 2 the nightmare continues. Ha-ha.
I'm sorry I left you mum, truly I gave it everything I had and then some! I'll give your mum hugs and kisses from you. From all of you. I'm sure she'll take good care of me. Let her try and keep me away from those hunky male angels though! Wearing only loin cloths too. Oooo! Oops I'm only 15 sorry. They are fully clothed. All of them. No but seriously you must have got your mothering expertise from somewhere. I'll bet she was the best mum too!
I love you mum x
Those 2 shining stars bright and blinking.
Me and nana
Lexi
Xoxoxoxoxo
Zain Bhikha - My Mum Is Amazing
She wakes up early in the morning with a smile
And she holds my head up high
Don't you ever let anybody put you down
Cos you are my little angel
Then she makes something warm for me to drink
Cos it's cold out there, she thinks
Then she walks me to school, Yes I aint no fool
I just think my Mom is amazing
(X)
She makes me feel
Like I can do anything
and when she's with me
there's no where else, I'd rather be
(X)
After School, she's waiting by the gate
I'm so happy that I just can't wait
To get home to tell her how my day went
And eat the yummy food, only my Mom makes
Then I wind her up cos I don't wanna bath
And we run around the house with a laugh
No matter what I say, she gets her way
I think my Mom is amazing
(X)
She makes me feel
Like I can do anything
and when she's with me
there's no where else, I'd rather be
(X)
In the evening, she tucks me into bed
And I wrap my arms around her head
Then she tells me a tale of a girl far away
Who one day became a princess
I'm so happy, I don't want her to leave
So she lies in bed with me
As I close my eyes, how lucky am I
To have a Mom that's so amazing
God her daughter knew how to get her. Tears streamed from her eyes. She tells her not to cry only makes her wanna cry more. Aww Lexi if you don't beat this I don't know what I'll do. And all that crap about her real father. It's no way true. She has always been and will always be the best thing that happened to her. No matter where she came form she was a gift sent form heaven. Kept her sane and together when everything around her was falling apart and Alice would always love her for that. And because she's her baby. She couldn't explain her love to her daughter she just loved her. She is Lexi, not her daughter or josh's daughter or even Danny's daughter. She is Lexi Trevanion. A unique individual. And here she was reading her daughter pour out her heart trying to tell her in the softest manner possible goodbye. And it really ripped her apart. She took deep breaths calming herself she didn't want to be upset fro Daniel. Who was being really quiet and still tonight! Lexi had a way with words definitely, at times she'd been smiling and in the next line she thought she was gonna bawl her eyes out. The thing that got Alice the most though was the fact that is was written from the heart and she wanted so badly for it to be perfect. Even now she worried about everyone else. Wanting them to be ok when she is gone! Her daughter had to be ok! She just had to be!
A/N I was only going to put one paragraph in for the song but I love all of that song so I out it all in x