Disclaimer: I own nothing – at least nothing Transformers related.

AN: Crack. Bonding time of the head honchos.

Thanks to mdnytryder for correcting and betaing.

24/28 Drinking Energon (G1)

"I don't understand it.
Seriously, I try to be nice, to keep them safe, to keep them from dying because of Megatron's stupid plans…. I mean, I only want an itty, bitty amount of respect, no parties and celebra… cebra... celler... whatever to my honor.
Is that too much to ask? I mean, don't they love me?
At least a little bit?

"You understand what I mean, don't you? I mean, you're such an ugly, unimaginative little yes-man, you have to know what it feels like to be hated….
I understand how you feel, seriously I do.

"I love you, mech. You know? My only friend on the whole world….
I mean, it's not as if I would hate them. Really, if I could I would just say, 'Yes, go on, destroy the base!', 'Kill Rumble, go on, good riddance. Have fun.', 'Keep doing that, Megsy will just love it if his computer system mutates into a new sentient species with all the viruses you're uploading right now.'

"I mean, I'm surrounded by incompetence and Megatron awaits some sort of miracle that will strike the Prime down and convert the other do-gooders to our cause and it really wasn't my fault the store room blow up, I told Skywarp to get rid of his firecrackers but I didn't think he would put them there….

"I hate my life! Nobody loves me. You know, sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' And then a voice says to me – "

"I hope you've got a lot of time. This may take a while."

Starscream peered up at his Supreme Commander from his place slouched over the table, his head resting in a puddle of Energon, optics only half lit and dazed.
He sobbed, then he tried to grab Megatron's leg to give it a hug. "Exactly…. You understand me, my only friend…. Have I ever told you how much I love you? They are all incompetent and I love you…."

Megatron grimaced down at his wasted SIC, torn between blowing him up and going away and pretending this had never happened.

The Seeker sat at the table, trying to lick at the puddle of glowing Highgrade right in front of his nose without moving his head.
On the other side of the table that was littered with empty cubes, sat Soundwave, ramrod straight but faintly swaying to and fro, his Creations standing beside his chair and watching him warily and not a little bit concerned. His visor flashed from time to time, but apart from that he was silent and unmoving, staring into space.

"I'm surrounded by incompetence…" murmured Megatron and sighed.
His officers drunk out of their processors, sitting in the rec room for all to see….

Granted, most of the troops were currently in the brig because of infighting, general mischief, prank wars, insubordination, sheer stupidity and so on.
So the only ones left to see the outrageous behavior of his officers were Soundwave's Creations.
But still….

Something nudged his leg and he looked down to see Starscream shoving a full cube his way. "We all are, learn to deal with it or join the pity party…. We have cookies, I think." The Seeker frowned, then proceeded to try to lick at the Energon surrounding him. When he actually managed to snatch a little bit with his tongue, he sighed in bliss and nuzzled the tabletop.

Megatron sighed again, then he realized he had nothing to lose and sat down, suddenly finding himself with a lap of extremely clingy Seeker ready to go into recharge then and there. The warlord downed his cube, ignored Starscream's attempts at getting comfortable and trying to tip the table a bit so that the Highgrade on it would dribble down to him, and leaned back in his chair.
It had been far too long since he had some peace and quiet to himself and nobody would ever be the wiser….

While Megatron filled himself a new cube, petting the snoring Starscream's head with his free hand, Soundwave swayed one last time, hiccupped and fell to the side, right on his yelping children.

Surrounded by incompetence, indeed….

The last sentence of Starscream's rant was adopted from the bunny farm and belongs to leilani666.

http: // community. Livejounal. Com / tf_bunny_farm / 181400. Html ? #cutid1