Credit Where Credit is Due:
Thanks to anna-garny for pointing out that Foreman should have a talk with Cuddy about the House/Wilson thing and paulac45 for suggesting a loft scene—I ended up really liking my loft scene and I hope you all do too.
7.3—"Dinner–D-i-s-a-s-t-e-r–Dinner"
Wilson's face was stuffed into the pillow, his mouth slightly open. The covers were off down to the backs of his knees, and his butt was sort of in the air. If he hadn't been asleep, it would probably have been very uncomfortable.
In another room, two feet and a cane moved stealthily toward an organ bench, making as little noise as possible. A denim-clad butt sat itself down on the bench and long, nimble fingers placed themselves over the keys.
On Wilson's nightstand, a digital clock changed from 6:49 to 6:50. The sound of the organ pierced the silence, its melody traveling through the condo to jolt Wilson from his slumber. He jumped, looked around confusedly, and then smiled to himself. The music continued as he reached for the alarm clock and flipped the switch to OFF, and as he entered the attached master bathroom and showered. He left the door opened so that he could still hear the organ through his morning routine (not like House hadn't seen him naked before anyway), and he kept his hairdryer on low power for the same reason.
After looking in his mirror to make sure his tie was straight, Wilson headed for the kitchen, watching House play with something akin to fascination. He made eggs and toast, unconsciously swaying his body a bit to the music, and poured orange juice and coffee. He set two places at the breakfast bar and then made his way over to House. The diagnostician was still playing the organ, but Wilson placed a hand on his side and warmly kissed the back of his neck.
House ceased playing immediately and spun around on the bench. "What was that for?" he asked accusingly, as though Wilson needed a reason to kiss him good morning.
The oncologist smiled and handed him his cane. "Thanking you for the early morning serenade."
House scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Please. That wasn't a serenade. I don't do the sappy romantic stuff, remember?"
"Sounded like a serenade to me," Wilson shrugged, going back to the kitchen to eat his breakfast.
"I woke you up!" House argued, sitting down and scowling at his eggs. "And no bacon?"
"Well, it was a much more pleasant sound to wake up to than the blaring of my alarm clock. And your heart doesn't need the bacon."
"Your alarm doesn't go off until seven," House pointed out. "I robbed you of ten precious minutes of sleep."
"A reasonable price to pay," Wilson shrugged, cutting his eggs neatly.
House's shoulders sagged; he looked crestfallen. "I did it to annoy you!"
"You keep telling yourself that, House," Wilson replied, smiling at him over his newspaper.
House grumbled to himself as he bit into his toast but once Wilson's face disappeared behind the newspaper he half-smiled.
[]
The diagnostician looked up from his reading material and smiled when he saw who had just entered his office. Yeah, he sometimes did that now. Smiled. He was in love, wasn't he allowed to smile sometimes? It wasn't like anyone but Wilson could see, anyway.
"I want to throw a dinner party."
The smile disappeared.
"Wait, hear me out, please. I'll do all the work, there will be good food and I'll clean up and everything. All I want you to do is be there. And be...somewhat pleasant."
"Me, unpleasant?" he asked innocently. Then he glared again. "Is this punishment for waking you up?"
"No, House, it has nothing to do with that. I've been wanting to host a dinner party for a while now."
House inspected him carefully. "Exactly how gay are you?"
Wilson rolled his eyes. "House, please?"
"You're asking my permission? It is your condo, you know."
"It's our condo and I'm asking you to please be present at my dinner party and...you know...behave."
House didn't answer right away. He looked Wilson up and down as he considered the pros and cons. His eyes paused at Wilson's face, at his crotch, and then his face again. He sighed. "When?"
Wilson's face lit up. "Oh, House, thank you!"
House rolled his eyes as Wilson made his way around the desk, but he got up off the chair so he could grab Wilson's ass when he kissed him.
"Friday night," Wilson added when they pulled away.
"And who's gonna be there?"
"I haven't talked to anyone yet—I wanted to check with you first—but I'm inviting Cuddy and Lucas and...your team."
House groaned loudly.
"Well, they can bring dates," Wilson said quickly. "You don't have to talk to them too much. Taub can bring his wife, and maybe Remy–"
"–Who?"
"Thirteen will bring a hot lesbian date. That'd make the night worth it, wouldn't it?"
"I guess," House conceded. He went for Wilson's lips again.
Tap, tap, tap, someone knocked on the glass door.
"Go away, we're in the middle of a make out session!" House yelled at the door.
"Would you cut it out, House, we have a case," Foreman sighed, entering despite House's objection.
"I'm busy," House objected, placing his hand very obviously on Wilson's ass.
"House, go solve your case," Wilson smiled. "I'll see you at home, 'kay?" He pecked House on the lips and exited the room with both men glaring after him.
After he left, Foreman turned to House. "Why do you keep doing that?"
House looked at him like he was two. "Well, Eric, when two people love each other very much–"
"–When I was dating Remy we didn't kiss each other all over the hospital."
"Only because you weren't ballsy enough to try and push me that far. I mean even Chase and Cameron have had sex in an exam room."
"So you're testing Cuddy?"
"Well obviously I'm testing you. But what's great about it is you don't get to reprimand me for it."
Foreman stared at him for a minute. "We have a case," he said finally.
[]
"Come in," she sighed. It was Foreman, which meant that it was about House. She sighed again, pinching the bridge of her nose. It was always about House. Why was it always about House?
"What did he do now?" she asked once he sat down in front of her desk.
"I don't know, it's just that he and Wilson, they keep kissing all over the place and...I don't know, isn't there some PDA rule or something?"
"Are they still doing that?" she asked, leaning back in her chair and sighing. "It's been like two weeks. Aren't they over that yet?"
"Wait," Foreman said, frowning. "Is it some sort of act or are they actually together?"
"Of course they're not actually together!" Cuddy said as though the idea were ludicrous. "All right, I don't know why Wilson's playing along and I'm not sure why House is doing it in the first place, but I am sure it's not real."
"House...said he loved Wilson," Foreman admitted. "I mean, he said it lightly, but he did say it."
"When?"
"When I asked him why they kept kissing."
Cuddy looked straight forward for a moment, not quite at Foreman, not quite at anything. She shook her head. "This is ridiculous. I'm going to talk to Wilson about it. I'm going to figure out exactly what's going on."
[]
"Come in," Wilson said cheerfully. "Hey, Lisa," he greeted as she sat down. "What's up?"
"Wilson, listen to me," she said, rubbing her temple. "This...whatever you and House are doing...I don't know what's going on, but it's getting old. It has to stop."
Wilson was clearly taken aback. He stared at her for a moment, mouth agape, and then his eyes narrowed. "Excuse me? I think you should repeat yourself, because I'm pretty sure you did not just say what I thought you said."
"Wilson, give it up!" she exclaimed, exasperated. "I've had enough of you and House pretending to be lovers. It's immature and ridiculous. I expect this kind of behavior from him, but I don't know how he got you to go along with it. Either way, it ends today."
He stood up, glaring down at Cuddy. "I think you should leave now."
"No," she countered, standing up as well. "I'm not going anywhere until you tell me that you and House are going to stop pretending to be a couple at work."
"We're not pretending!" Wilson shouted, irate. "That you would even suggest...that you have the gall to tell us we have to...you know, I was going to invite you and Lucas to a dinner party that House and I are throwing as a couple, but if you really think that idea is immature and ridiculous–"
"–You're throwing a dinner party?" she asked, curious, taking a step back.
"Yes." Wilson's anger had not abated. "Because we're a couple. Why do you have such a big problem with that? Are you...jealous or something?"
"I'm not jealous!" she retaliated, her brows furrowing and her anger returning. "Straight men don't just suddenly turn gay because it's convenient for them to fall in love with their best friends!"
"We've always been that way," snapped Wilson. "He just doesn't generally share details of his personal life with anyone and I've spent years in denial. But I'm done with that now, I've admitted it to myself and even though it's none of your business I'll admit it to you. I love him. I'm in love with him. And you can deny it all you want to, but it's the truth. We're together. That's not going to change to suit your convenience." He sat back down on his desk. "If you can just open your mind enough accept that at face value," he said curtly, "we'd be happy to see you at our condo on Friday at seven."
Cuddy apparently couldn't think of anything to say that, because she turned on her heel and left in a huff.
[]
"Oh, great, what's he pissed about now?" Chase muttered to Thirteen as House entered the differential room looking murderous.
She shrugged and took her seat at the conference table with her co-workers, all of them looking up curiously at their boss.
"All right, listen up, minions," House addressed them. "I don't like you and you don't like me. And if you do I don't care and I don't wanna hear about it. But I'm supposed to invite you to some stupid dinner party that Wilson's throwing on Friday. If any of you don't show up you're taking over my clinic hours for the next month, capisce? Oh, and you–" he looked at Taub, "are supposed to bring your wife. You–" he looked at Thirteen, "had better bring a hot date. You–" he looked at Chase and Foreman and shrugged. "bring booze. Lots of booze."
[]
Chase tried the front door and it opened without conflict. He turned to Thirteen, surprised. "Well that was easy. Now it's not even breaking in."
"Yeah, unless someone's home," she pointed out, peering inside.
The lights were out, though, and the house was quiet.
"So, are you going to House's dinner party?" Chase asked as they wandered through the place looking for samples to take.
Thirteen shrugged. "I guess. I wouldn't put it past him to mean it about the clinic hours thing, and besides, Wilson's nice. It might be fun. Are you going?"
"Yeah, I guess. Same reasons. Okay, pretty much anything in this refrigerator could be what's poisoning our patient," he said, crinkling his nose at the smell.
Thirteen coughed and handed him some sample bags. "You can do the honors. I'll check the bathroom."
Chase made sure to leave the door unlocked as he'd found it. "So, are you really bringing a hot date to the dinner?"
She scoffed good-naturedly and rolled her eyes at Chase. "I'm not giving him the satisfaction. Besides, I'll have you to talk to anyway."
"Do you want to..." Chase shrugged, "just go with me, then?"
Thirteen raised her eyebrows at him. "Like a date?" she asked, smirking.
Chase rolled his eyes. "No, not a date, just...I don't know, two co-workers going to their boss's dinner party together. You know, carpooling. Saving energy."
She laughed. "All right, Chase, I'll go with you." She scrutinized him. "I can still call you Chase, right? I don't have to call you Robert?"
He grinned. "As long as I still get to call you Thirteen."
[]
Wilson opened the door and Cuddy handed him a bottle of wine.
"I was a jerk, all right?" she apologized, "I'm sorry. You were right. I should never have assumed that you and House would pretend to be a couple for...any reason. Can you please forgive me?"
He sighed and looked down at his boss. "Yeah, all right," he decided, smiling. "Come on in."
Cuddy tugged on Lucas's hand and led him into the entrance hall, looking around a bit enviously because this was the condo she wanted, but she decided to drop the matter. They would find another place they liked soon enough.
House was in the kitchen chopping vegetables cheerfully. She half-expected him to grin at her, high-five Wilson, and shout "Gotcha!" but he didn't. Wilson passed him to put the wine in the fridge and he stuffed a piece of celery into Wilson's mouth. Cuddy wondered if they were always like this or if they were acting coupley for her benefit.
The doorbell rang a few minutes later.
"Wilson! Get the door!" House shouted from the couch across from Cuddy, smiling and taking a sip of wine.
"House, I'm busy, just answer the door please." His voice was exasperated. Even though they might be a couple, at least that hadn't changed.
"I'm entertaining guests!"
"I'm cooking."
"But it might be Foreman!"
"Or it might be Thirteen with her hot lesbian date."
"I'm crippled!"
"House." He used his warning voice.
House sighed and used his cane to push himself off the couch as though it used up every ounce of his strength. Cuddy and Wilson knew he was only pretending, though; if the pain were really that bad he wouldn't have argued that lightly.
[-]
House opened the door and stared at Thirteen and Chase standing in front of him. He looked down the hall behind them very obviously.
"Uh, are you gonna let me in?" Thirteen asked once his gaze had returned to them.
"No entry without hot date."
Chase scoffed. "I'm hotter than your date."
"Blasphemy."
"House, just let them in," Wilson called from the kitchen.
House glared at Thirteen. "This isn't over."
She rolled her eyes and stepped inside.
[]
House was returning from the bathroom when Cuddy confronted him. She wasn't sure if the three glasses of wine contributed to this decision, but she'd been watching him with Wilson all evening and needed to know.
Everyone else was in the living room, talking and laughing and eating dessert. She cornered him in the bedroom with her hands on her hips.
House saw her and rolled his eyes. "What did I do this time?"
"We need to talk, House."
"I did all my clinic hours this week!" he answered indignantly.
"Not about that," she said, rolling her eyes. She lowered her voice. "About you and Wilson."
"Oh god, not this again," House replied, rolling his eyes back. "Listen, you're too late. If you'd changed your mind a few months ago then I would have given you a chance, but I'm with him now."
"Please," she said. "This has nothing to do with me. This is about him. He's serious about it. He thinks it's real."
"It is real!" he shouted, his frustration getting the better of him. Wilson had told him about their confrontation in his office. "Why is that so goddam hard for you to accept?"
"Because you're in love with me!" she shouted back. There were tears in her eyes.
He looked her over slowly. "I was in love with you. Past tense, Cuddy. I told you. You're too late."
"Oh my god, House, this isn't about me wanting you–"
"–Of course it is!" He'd been about to go back to the party but he stopped in his tracks, turned around, and glared at her. "When it's me that wants you, no, I'm too screwed up to have in your life, but when someone else wants me, all of a sudden I'm not allowed to be in love with anyone other than you! You can't accept that I'm really with Wilson because you're jealous!"
"I am not jealous!"
A creak as the door opened; both doctors stared at it. Wilson and Lucas's faces appeared in the hallway. Wilson simply looked concerned; Lucas was visibly upset.
"Lucas..." Cuddy said, her voice breaking. Her eyes pleaded with him. "It's not true, what he said. I'm not jealous. I'm not." Tears streamed down her face.
He didn't answer her, but studied House.
"She's all yours," House said stiffly, shrugging. "I'm spoken for."
Cuddy let out a dry sob, not looking away from Lucas's face.
Lucas sighed and reached an arm out for her, and she hurried into it, wrapping her arms around his neck. It looked like she was trying to fold herself into him. "I'm not jealous of Wilson," she whispered. "It's not true. I'm not."
"I know," he said to her hair. "Come on, we should..." he looked up to catch Wilson's eye, and nodded toward the door. "We should go."
Wilson nodded, rubbing his temple with his hand. Though they weren't touching, House had moved to stand next to him.
[]
House groaned, cursing his leg. Cuddy was approaching his office. He got up, grabbing his cane, and tried to escape through the conference room. It proved to be a wasted effort, however, because she made it in before he even got to the door.
He noticed that she was a bit of a wreck, but he didn't really care. Why should he? So now she was regretting rejecting him? Well too bad for her. He was with Wilson now. He didn't need her. She had her chance and she blew it. And House was damn grateful for it. If they'd started dating and hadn't broken up by now, he would never have gotten together with Wilson. He'd always assumed he'd end up with her, but that was before he knew how Wilson felt about him. And now that he did know, it wasn't even a choice to make. Of course it would be Wilson. It would always be Wilson. When had House ever risked his life for Cuddy's happiness?
She was a wreck, though. Her hair wasn't curled or straightened; it just hung limply around her face. Her makeup was mussed, and even her breasts had lost their perkiness. She stood in front of him and looked him in the eye.
"I'm jealous," she confessed, immediately looking away before working up the courage again. She raised her arms slightly and then let them fall at her sides. "You were right. Wilson was right. I...I don't want you to be with him." She took a step forward. Even with her heels, she was shorter than him. She kept her head at a slight incline to maintain eye contact. Her voice broke a bit as she whispered, "I want you to be with me." She stepped forward again and pressed her lips against his.
House didn't touch her. He didn't move. He just stood there, waiting for it to be over. Finally she stepped back, wiping her eyes. House didn't look at her. His eyes wandered past her, over her shoulder, and through the glass walls of his office where he saw Wilson standing, staring at them. His eyes caught his lover's for a second, and he shook his head, telling Wilson it wasn't what it looked like. Wilson either misinterpreted the gesture or ignored it. He turned on his heel and stalked off toward the elevator.