Yo!

I'm actually quite happy people read this fic. Doesn't mean reviews/faves aren't appreciated XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Lavi or anyone else from . 'Cuz I'm no genius!

Chapter 3: King

Lavi was sitting on his pedestal for grinning, all to worship him. He was King! He King of the whole damn World so why wouldn't he be happy? He had everything he could ever wish for and a pet… hammer?

What. The. Fuck?

The fact he was king, didn't make sense, but honestly, how can you have a pet hammer? So it was more his main weapon but it seemed to be a good pet. It stayed when he said 'stay'. Actually that's all it did but at least it didn't hammer litter everywhere.

Ohk back to the King of the world thing.

So he sat on his pedestal with his trusty hammer next to him. Why he needed to, no one knew because there were at least a million statues of him and yet he was stoning on a pedestal. His palace was on the said pedestal so he could watch over his minions, ehem, subjects. (certain *cough* Kanda *cough* people would murder him for calling them a 'minion')

He was on his pedestal eating dinner which was a very very fancy meal that I won't describe but everything was big. So everyone wonders why King Lavi I isn't fat.

So anyway, he was eating (rolls around laughing) bean sprouts. And so, the 'real' story starts.

So he was looking at the bean sprouts disgusted but the old 'panda' said if he didn't eat, he couldn't have dessert (which by the way was brownies) so he poked and prodded at the beans on his plate.

"HEY! That hurts!"

Lavi looked up from his pile of yuck to see the sprout talking.

"OH MY GOD! A TALKING BEAN SPROUT?"

"That's not nice. The name's Allen."

"Oh god! It's talking!"

"Yeah I think we know that already. For a King your pretty dumb you know? So anyway, to the point, if you (the king who is hyperventilating) don't eat me, I'll give you three wishes."

"Since when were genies in bean sprout form?"

"It's ALLEN! And how am I supposed to know?"

"So... my first wish…"

CHOMP

"OH MY GOD! MY WISH-GRANTING BEAN SPROUT! BAD HAMMER! BAD HAMMER!"

Moral. Hammers apparently need to eat too, so keep all magical bean sprouts away from them.

Lalala~~:

I've been having problems with this fic since I've only got a few good ideas for this. Any suggestions? O.o

Oh this was a 'what if?' fic. If Lavi was king, expect the world to be slightly dysfunctional. ;] Oh and sorry I used to lord's name in vain. A lot. Sorry!

Review please?