As it turned out, Raphael did indeed call back, and he and Phyllis made arrangements for a second date. This one was for Saturday afternoon, and they had made plans to go on a picnic in the park.
"Watch out for Yogi Bear," Fluey teased as Phyllis was making sandwiches.
"Very funny, Fluey," Phyllis said, sarcastically. Fluey laughed, and snatched a cookie from the batch Phyllis had made for her date. Then he noticed what she was wearing for it: a pink and white gingham dress with a pink belt around the waist and white heels.
"Kinda dressy for a picnic, isn't it?" he asked, taking a bite out of the cookie.
"No," Phyllis said, simply, and began packing up the food in the basket. The minute she was finished, the doorbell rang.
"Oh, that's probably Raphael," Phyllis said. She grabbed the basket, and went out to the hallway. She opened the door, and there was Raphael, waiting for her.
"Hi," he said. "You look great. Ready to go?"
"Yeah," Phyllis said, and the two of them walked to Raphael's car.
As the days went on, Phyllis's dates with Raphael became more frequent. Big D wasn't complaining about it, though. Phyllis was still as efficient as ever in the office. One evening, Big D and Fluey were in the den, relaxing. Big D was reading the newspaper while Fluey was laying on his stomach on the floor, watching the TV show, Mission Improbable. Phyllis was coming down the stairs, wearing a green dress and heels. Big D heard her, and turned to look.
"Another date?" he asked, putting down his newspaper.
"Yeah," Phyllis replied.
"It's starting to get serious with this one, isn't it?" Big D asked.
"Well . . . ." Phyllis said, and she began twirling her hair around her finger. "I guess so . . . . ."
"So when are you gonna bring him over so Big D can grill him?" Fluey asked.
"Oh, the Boyfriend Test again, huh?" Phyllis asked, giving her grandfather a knowing look.
"If you're going to be seeing this young man, then I'd like to meet him," Big D said. "Same as all your other . . . . . potential suitors, let's say."
"Victims is more like it," Fluey quipped.
"Watch it," Big D said, shooting his smart aleck grandson a Look. Before anything else could happen, the doorbell rang.
"Okay," Phyllis said. "I'll talk to Raphael about it tonight."
"Good," Big D said, and he went back to the paper.
Phyllis went to the door and opened it. There was Raphael standing on the porch, ready for their date.
"Hi, Phyllis," he said. "Something wrong?"
"Kind of," Phyllis said. "My grandfather wants to meet you."
"The whole Meet the Parents routine, huh? No problem, I can handle that."
"You don't know my grandfather, Raph. Every single boyfriend I've ever had, he's managed to scare off. He's not very easily impressed."
"I'm sure I can handle it. Just name the day and the time, and I'll be there."
"How about next Friday at six? You can come over for dinner. My grandfather likes to grill my boyfriends over dinner."
"Works for me. No problem at all."
Phyllis wasn't too sure about this. She had the distinct feeling this was going to end up like all the other times she ever brought a boyfriend home. After their date, Raphael parked his car on the curb, got out, opened the door for Phyllis, and walked her up to the porch.
"Oh, I almost forgot to mention this about next Friday," she said. "You'll have to contend with something none of my other boyfriends have had to deal with before."
"What's that?" Raphael asked.
"My younger brother. He's sixteen, he's mouthy, he's a wise guy, he's stubborn as a bull, and he can knock you out faster than you can say Muhammad Ali."
"I'll be on my toes, then."
Raphael planted a quick goodnight kiss on Phyllis's cheek, and then walked back out to his car. Phyllis dug her keys out of her purse, and went inside. She walked into the den, and found Fluey laying on the couch, channel surfing.
"Waiting up for me again?" she asked.
"Nah," Fluey said. "I've got two hours to kill until Fright Fest. They've got a doozy on tonight. My Sister is Dating a Lizard Creature from Planet Zee. I've seen it before, but I still get a kick out of it. Which reminds me. Does this Raphael fella ever talk about taking over the world, or stuff like that? Does he ever leave the table at dinner so he can call his mother ship?"
Phyllis grabbed a pillow off the couch and started hitting her brother with it as hard as she could.
"Hey! Hey! Cut it out, Phyllis! I was just kidding!" Fluey shouted. "Okay, okay, truce! I surrender!"
"What in heaven's name are you two doing?" Big D asked, coming into the room.
"Just typical sibling love," Phyllis said, giving Fluey a final whack with the pillow. "I talked to Raphael about you wanting to meet him. He's coming over for dinner next Friday at six."
"Good," Fluey said. "That'll give Big D enough time to prepare a barbeque pit for when he rakes this guy across the coals!"
"And I assume you warned him about this?" Big D asked, ignoring his grandson
"Yes," Phyllis said. "You know I always warn them ahead of time, ever since you chased off the first two boyfriends I brought home. I also warned him about something none of my other boyfriends had to deal with."
"Ah, yes," Big D said, nodding. "Your brother."
Fluey just shrugged.
Two days later, the Impossibles were rehearsing for a gig on Saturday, and Fluey was giving Multi and Coiley an update about his sister's relationship.
"Phyllis is bringing her boyfriend home Friday," he said. "I can't wait to see what happens."
"Why are you so eager to get this guy out of Phyllis's life, anyway, Fluey?" Coiley asked.
"I'm not," Fluey said. "I just want to see how Big D scares off these guys, that's all."
"He can't do any worse than my dad," Multi said. "If Windy brings home a guy he doesn't like, he won't even let him into the house. He slams the door in his face."
"What kind of guys has she been dating, anyway?" Coiley asked.
"I think she's in a Goth phase or something," Multi said, tuning his guitar. "The guy she's going out with now wears nothing but black, and he writes depressing poetry."
"Well, let us know how everything goes, Fluey," Coiley said.
"Roger Wilco," Fluey said, giving his teammate a small salute, and then the boys got down to music.
Friday, the boys were in the mail room, helping Shawn, FG, and Danalleah sort out the singing Impossibles' fan mail (this is what the girls did at the agency), when Mike walked into the room.
"Hey, Fluey, have you seen Phyllis?" he asked.
"Yeah," Fluey replied, signing a photo of the band and passing it off to Multi (and not bothering to look up at Mike). "She took the day off."
"How come?" Mike asked.
"She's bringing her new boyfriend over for dinner and Big D's gonna grill him," Fluey said. "Heh, heh. I can't wait."
"Sometimes, I wonder about you, kiddo," Mike replied, shaking his head. "So she's got a new boyfriend, huh?"
"Yeah, the guy she backed into at the Park 'n Shop."
"Man, that girl is desperate, isn't she? Goin' out with a guy she literally ran into in a parkin' lot . . . . ."
Fluey just shrugged. That evening at home, Fluey stood in the kitchen doorway and watched his sister racing around the room like a chicken with it's head cut off.
"I don't get why you're going so bananas over this," he said. "You're acting like you're expecting the president or something."
"Very funny," Phyllis said. "I just want things to go well, that's all."
"Do you always get worked up whenever your boyfriend of the moment comes home to meet the family?"
"To tell you the truth, no."
Before either one of them could say another word, the doorbell rang. Phyllis straightened out her dress, and went to answer it. Big D and Fluey followed. this was the moment of truth. Phyllis took a deep breath, and opened the door.
"Hi!" she said, cheerfully, when she saw Raphael standing there, holding a bouquet of irises, violets, orchids, and purple tulips in one hand, and a large shopping bag in the other.
"Hi," Raphael said, handing Phyllis the bouquet. "These are for you. I know how much you like purple flowers."
"Thanks," Phyllis said. "What's in the bag?"
"Oh, I brought along a little something for your grandfather and your brother," Raphael said.
"Resorting to bribery, eh?" Big D asked.
"Chief . . . . ." Phyllis said, giving her grandfather a Look. Then she cleared her throat. "Chief, Franky, I'd like you to meet Raphael Caprezio. Raph, this is my grandfather, Davis Dawson, and my brother, Franky."
"Hello, Mr. Dawson," Raphael said, shaking Big D's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
"We'll see," Big D replied.
"Yeah, man," Fluey commented.
Raphael then reached into the bag, pulled out a bottle of what appeared to be champaign, and handed it to Big D.
"Since I was coming over for dinner, I thought I'd bring a little something to celebrate this occasion, as it were," Raphael said.
"A very nice gesture," Big D said, looking at the bottle. "But you are aware of the fact we have a member of this household who hasn't reached the legal drinking age yet?"
"Yes, sir," Raphael said. "Phyllis told me Franky was sixteen, so I made sure to get non-alcoholic champaign."
Big D just nodded, and walked toward the kitchen. Raphael then took a flat, square, wrapped package out of the bag. Fluey knew it had to be a record album by the shape.
"I know when I was sixteen, music was my life," Raphael said, handing it to Fluey. "I figured if you're like any other teenager in America, Franky, you like rock 'n roll."
"The understatement of the year," Fluey muttered, taking the gift. He tore into the wrapping paper to see just what exactly the album was. It was the Impossibles' latest release.
"I was at the record store, and this was there as the number one album in the country," Raphael said.
"You don't have to tell me that, I already know!" Fluey shouted. "I can't believe this! He gave me a copy of my own album!"
"Eh?" Raphael asked.
"Uhh, yeah," Phyllis said, clearing her throat. "Did I mention Franky's a member of the Impossibles rock group?"
"No, you didn't," Raphael said, calmly.
"She doesn't tell people off the bat because they usually end up falling all over themselves and making themselves look stupid," Fluey said. "That, and she knows I gotta have some privacy in the life I lead."
"Oh," Raphael said, not quite sure if he understood what Fluey was talking about.
"Why don't we go into the dining room and sit down?" Phyllis suggested. "Dinner's almost ready."
Phyllis led Fluey and Raphael to the dining room, and they sat down. Big D was already there.
"So, Mr. Caprezio," Big D said. "Tell me, what is it that you do?"
"I'm a stock broker," Raphael said.
"What does that mean, exactly?" Fluey asked.
"I buy, sell, and trade stocks," Raphael said. "And I give others advice on what shares to buy, when to sell, you know, that sort of thing."
"Frankly, I wouldn't know," Big D said. "I've never saw the need to take unnecessary gambles with the stock market. But getting off the subject, Mr. Caprezio, I do have certain rules that apply to dating my granddaughter."
"Rules?" Raphael asked. "What are they?"
"Number one," Big D said. "I will not tolerate you sitting outside in your car and honking your car horn. Number two, do not touch her inappropriately in my presence. Number three, you will treat my granddaughter with respect. Number four, if she says no, she means no. I don't care about that old 'her mouth says no, but her eyes say yes' excuse. No means no. Period."
"Yes sir," Raphael said. "I understand completely."
"I know Phyllis is an adult. But I was the one who raised her. She's my little girl. No matter how old she gets, she will always and forever be my little girl. I will not allow anyone to hurt her. If someone does hurt my little girl, I will not hesitate to hurt them. If I even suspect you hurt my little girl in the slightest, I will not hesitate to hurt you."
"Yes, sir. And you have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't dream of doing anything that would hurt Phyllis."
Big D nodded. That was about all he could do. Normally, Phyllis's boyfriends would start fidgeting about now, and start to become incredibly nervous. But Raphael was calm, and cool as a cucumber.
"Mind if I ask you some questions, Raphael?" Fluey asked, eyeing Phyllis's beau suspiciously.
"Fire when ready," Raphael said.
"What was the last school you went to?" Fluey asked.
"Harvard," Raphael answered. "I graduated from there about five years ago with a three point six grade point average."
"Why not a four point oh?" Fluey asked.
"I didn't do so hot in any of the science courses I was required to take," Raphael said, shrugging. "Science is not my best subject."
"How many girlfriends have you had in your life?" Fluey asked.
"Franky, that's kind of personal, don't you think?" Phyllis asked, giving her brother a dirty look.
"Oh, it's okay, Phyllis," Raphael said. "Excluding Phyllis, only three, and they were all in high school."
"You date high school girls?" Fluey asked.
"Franky!" Phyllis shouted, shooting Fluey another dagger glare.
"No, I meant I was in high school when they were my girlfriends," Raphael said.
"Have you ever been in jail?" Fluey asked.
"Does Monopoly count?" Raphael asked. "If not, then, no, I have never been in jail, and I have never been arrested."
"Do you have any kind of criminal record?" Fluey asked.
"Franklin!" Phyllis hissed, using Fluey's name in the long form.
"No," Raphael said. "The worst trouble I've ever gotten into with the police were parking tickets."
"Have you ever been to Make Out Point?" Fluey asked. In response to that one, Phyllis kicked her brother in the leg under the table. Fluey pretended not to notice.
"Once or twice in high school," Raphael said. "But nothing happened."
"Ever steam up the windows at the drive in movies?" Fluey asked. Again, Phyllis kicked him, a little harder than the first time.
"Again, once in high school," Raphael said. "Or at least I tried to. I ended up getting slapped. Actually, I got slapped every time I took a girl up to Make Out Point back in high school, too. I was pretty immature back then, but I've grown out of it."
"One more question," Fluey said. Phyllis knew what he was going to ask this time. She got up, and walked over behind her brother.
"Shoot," Raphael said.
"Believe me, fella, I'd like to," Fluey said. "Anybody got a shotgun?"
"Ahem," Big D said, giving his grandson a look. "They'll be none of that now, young man."
"I was just kidding," Fluey said. "Anyway, Raphael. My final question. Have you ever spent an entire weekend alone with a girl in a hotel room and did nothing but . . . . ."
Phyllis immediately clamped her hand over Fluey's mouth, forced him out of his seat, and started to drag him to the kitchen before he could finish that question.
"Would you excuse us for a moment?" she asked. Big D and Raphael nodded as Phyllis dragged Fluey into the kitchen, and finally let him go.
"What is the matter with you?" she shouted.
"I'm just trying to dig up some dirt on this guy," Fluey said, shrugging. "I don't like him."
"You're just sore at him because he gave you a copy of an album you and Multi and Coiley recorded yourselves."
"No! It's not because of that! I just don't like the guy. I don't trust him."
"Why not? He's perfect!"
"Exactly. He's too good to be true. Isn't there an old saying that goes something like if it's too good to be true, it probably is?"
"Fluey, please. Please don't ruin this for me. Big D hasn't scared him off yet, and I intend to keep it that way."
"All right, all right."
Phyllis and Fluey then returned to the dining room. Then, after dinner, Raphael prepared to take his leave.
"I must admit, Mr. Caprezio, I'm impressed," Big D said. "My granddaughter warned you about my . . . . . expectations, I'm sure."
"Yes sir, she did," Raphael said.
"I warn them all, chief," Phyllis said.
"Yes, I know," Big D said. "And you, Mr. Caprezio, are the first ever not to start heading for the door after I give them the expectations speech."
"I take it most of the guys you've dated done that?" Raphael asked, turning to Phyllis.
"Yes," Phyllis replied. "I'm also sorry about Franky. I had no idea he was going to ask those questions."
"That's okay, Phyllis," Raphael said. "He's just being protective of his big sister. Heck, if I had a sister, I'm sure I'd act the same way."
Phyllis nodded, and she walked Raphael to the door. All in all it had been a good night for her. But Fluey just couldn't seem to shake something. There was definitely something about Raphael Caprezio he didn't like. He just couldn't figure out what it was. But he was determined to find out.