Love is a River
As they walked they were told that the dwarf with the black beard was called Nikabrik, the dwarf with the blonde beard was Trumpkin and the badger was named Trufflehunter. Caspian walked along Trumpkin and Trufflehunter, slowly but surely convincing them that he wasn't just any Telmarine, that he actually wanted to help them. Susan chatted animatedly with Reepicheep and the Doctor seemed to be in deep conversation with Nikabrik, and the only thing Susan could pick out of that conversation was that the Doctor's mother was a black dwarf, like Nikabrik.
Reepicheep was certainly an interesting character, and as much as Susan enjoyed talking to him she wished she could be talking with Caspian instead, remembering how perfectly their hands had fit together, and wanting to slip her hand into his again.
"So, what exactly is this 'that way' joke?" asked Reepicheep after Caspian had turned to ask Susan if they were going the right way and she had said that they were still going 'that way' for the third time. Susan tried not to think that Caspian was just trying to find an excuse to talk to her, but she couldn't help but think it. And she couldn't help but be happy when she thought about it.
"Well, several days ago we saw a carving on one of the trees, that said Life is a road, and I recognized that as…"
"High King Peter's work" said Reepicheep. Susan smiled down at him.
"Yes. And under it there was an arrow pointing in the direction that we are headed, and I told Caspian and the Doctor that we needed to go 'that way', and they seemed to find it comical, so it stuck"
"You know Queen Susan, it surprises me how close you seem to be to the young Telmarine prince" observed Reepicheep.
"It surprises me too" she said, "But Caspian is a kind, brave young man, and his intentions are pure. He will make a great king some day"
"Well, if you trust in him, that is all the assurance I need" said the mouse, and Susan felt another smile creep onto her face. She looked up at the back of Caspian's head and noticed that he had turned around and was looking at her too. He smiled and she turned her gaze away quickly, blushing.
"It's getting dark" announced Trumpkin, even though they could all see that it was getting dark, "We should settle down for the night"
Everybody agreed, and within the next two hours they had built a large fire and everyone except Susan and Caspian had dozed off. Susan lay down, and so did Caspian, who was sitting beside her.
"The stars are truly brighter in Narnia" said Susan, and Caspian grunted his agreement.
"You know" he said, "I haven't been able to talk to you much since the Narnians joined us. Not that I'm complaining, I'm glad they are here, I just wish that I didn't have to spend my entire day convincing them that I'm not a regular Telmarine"
"I think you're doing a great job" she said assuringly, "Reepicheep is officially on your side"
"So are Trumpkin and Trufflehunter" said Caspian, "But Nikabrik seems… unsure"
"Give it time. It's only been a day and you already have three out of four in your favour. Talk to Nikabrik tomorrow, I'm sure he'll come 'round"
"I hope so" he said.
They lay in silence and Susan thought about how Caspian had asked her three times that day if they were going in the right direction, and how he had been looking at her that one time. She thought about how their fingers fit together so perfectly and about how wonderful it felt when he held her close.
"What are you thinking about?" whispered Caspian.
"I don't want to tell you" she whispered.
"Why not? You always answer when I ask you"
"Yes, but I do not want to tell you, because if I did I would be forced to lie to you, and I do not wish to lie"
"I see" he said, and she could sense that she was smiling by the way he said those words. They were both quiet for several seconds and then for the first time in the seven days that they had known each other Susan asked him what he was thinking instead of the other way around.
"I was thinking about how good it felt knowing you had been thinking about me"
She didn't try to correct him. He was right, and he knew it. She rolled on her side.
"Good night Caspian" she said, and he did the same.
"Good night Susan"
That night, Susan fell asleep with butterflies in her stomach, knowing that Caspian was so close to her.
xxx
The next morning everybody got up early and started walking, still following the 'that way' direction, which seemed to not only be the direction that Peter was in, but also the direction that the Narnians were in. That day Caspian focused on talking to Nikabrik, trying to convince him that he was not like most Telmarines, and Susan got better acquainted with Trumpkin and Trufflehunter who seemed to get along the best amongst the group of Narnians. The Doctor and Reepicheep seemed to be having a very interesting conversation, but Susan didn't pay much attention to them. There was one small argument between Trumpkin and Reepicheep over the direction they were headed in, but it ended as soon as Trumpkin assured Reepicheep that if they continued going 'that way' they would arrive quicker than if they went in a northern direction and Susan had laughed. Apparently Caspian had told them about the 'that way' joke too.
As the day wore on, Susan had to admit that she was truly enjoying her conversation with Trumpkin and Trufflehunter, but she still wished she was talking to Caspian. She honestly wished she didn't, but she couldn't help herself from glancing at him every once in a while. Once she had caught him glancing back, and she had blushed but she hadn't looked away, simply smiled at him and then casually gone back to her conversation. She wondered what he thought of her, wishing she could know. Was she just a friend to him, or did he feel the same tingle every time she said his name and go to sleep with butterflies in his stomach because they were lying next to each other? She wouldn't know until she asked him, and she had already decided that she would do no such thing, because if she asked him then she would have to admit to him that she had feelings for him, and that would only lead to heartbreak. No, things were better as they were, with no complications, just friends. But she couldn't help but wish for more.
Around mid-day the small group stopped by a river that they found for some water and a small rest. Susan took this as an opportunity to talk to Caspian, but the Doctor got to him before she could. Reluctantly she sat down by Trumpkin and began discussing how much Narnia had changed since the days when her and her siblings ruled it. She noticed a large rock a ways down from where they were, and she felt strangely attracted to it. She excused herself and stood up to look at it. There was moss growing all over the front of it, but as she got closer she realized that there were constant holes in the moss, and when she stood right in front of it she saw that there was something written on it.
"Caspian!" she called and she turned just in time to see him standing up and running towards her.
"What is it, is something wrong?" he asked, and she shook her head.
"Peter" she said simply pointing to the rock. Caspian turned and read what it said.
"Love is a river" he read out loud, and then he turned to Susan, who was smiling widely. He suddenly had her pulled against him in a tight hug. She responded quickly, hugging him back.
"We must be getting closer" he whispered and she nodded, inhaling his smell. He smelt like a strange combination of sweat, horse and nature that somehow worked and created a unique smell that could only work on Caspian. To Susan nothing had ever smelt so beautifully.
She pulled away from him and noticed another small arrow under where Peter had written the words, this one pointing towards the North.
"We need to head north" she said, and Caspian nodded, calling Trumpkin over.
"Yes my prince?" he asked.
"We need to head north. Is this the same direction that the Narnians are in?" he asked.
"Actually… yes. How did you know?"
"It's like Peter knew where the Narnians would be" said Susan, and Trumpkin looked confused but didn't ask.
"We should continue" said Caspian, and Trumpkin nodded. He called everybody and they all walked towards them.
"My prince, if we could continue the talk we were having before…" started Nikabrik, but Caspian shook his head.
"I would like to speak to Queen Susan" he said, and Susan felt her heart skip a beat as Caspian turned to her and gave her a crooked smile.
"You need to stop doing that" said Susan when they were out of earshot from the rest of the group, walking far behind them but still close enough to notice if they made a sudden change in the direction.
"Doing what?" he asked innocently.
"Smiling at me like that" she said.
"And why would I do that when I know it makes you blush?" he asked, and she blushed, looking away.
"Lot's of things you say make me blush. I am simply not used to receiving so many compliments" she said, trying to make excuses, knowing where the conversation was headed.
"Are you sure it's just that?" asked Caspian and Susan sighed.
"I don't know how to answer that" she said. Caspian chuckled.
"You know Susan, I'm glad that you and your siblings showed up separately, or I would have never been able to get to know you the way I have" he said, and Susan smiled.
"I'm kind of glad too… but at the same time I want to find them. I'm extremely worried"
"You should smile more" he said.
"And why is that?"
"Because you have a beautiful smile" he replied matter of factly. Susan blushed.
"I've been smiling a lot more since I met you" she admitted, "Although Peter does make me smile a lot too"
"Susan, how long are you staying in Narnia?" he asked suddenly. Susan looked up at him, surprised by his question. He looked away and for the first time she noticed him blushing.
"I don't know" she admitted, "But I do know that every day that I spend here makes me less and less excited about returning to England"
"I wish you didn't have to go back" he said quietly and she smiled.
"You see Caspian? You make me smile"
"When you go back I won't see you smile anymore"
"We need to stop talking about me leaving" she said, "It's making me feel sad. Why can't we just enjoy right now without worrying about me leaving or anything else?"
Caspian was silent for a few seconds and then he sighed.
"I think I've gained Nikabrik's trust" he said finally, "Hopefully with the four of them on my side it will be easier to convince the rest of the Narnians that I am not against them"
"You're going to make a wonderful king" said Susan, smiling at him, "And the woman you choose to be your queen will be very lucky"
"It is impossible for the woman I want to be my queen to end up as so" he whispered.
"And why is that?" asked Susan, her heart beating faster.
"Because she does not want me" he whispered.
"What in the world would make you think that?"
"She is not willing to stay for me" he said.
"She might not have a choice"
"There is always a choice"
"Not always"
"Then there must be a way to…"
"Caspian" said Susan sharper than she had wanted too. Caspian looked down at her, pain in his eyes.
"I have an unfinished conversation with Nikabrik" he said, his fist balling up. Susan watched him speed up to pass her and finally end up standing by Nikabrik who turned to give Susan a knowing evil grin and then turned back to Caspian. Susan bit her lip, forcing herself not to cry.
'It's better this way' she thought to herself, and she just kept repeating that phrase over and over again in her mind. So why didn't it feel better? She wanted so bad to just run up to Caspian and apologize and kiss him, swearing that she would stay with him forever, for she knew that he had been talking about her, but she knew she couldn't swear that. As she had said, she didn't really have a choice. She would have to return to England sooner or later. It was her home, even if Narnia felt more like a home to her, now more than ever.
She walked alone at the end of the group, trying to think of anything but of Caspian, but their short conversation just kept rolling around in her head. Both had basically confessed their feelings for each other, and she had rejected him, and she felt terrible about it. She knew that Caspian must hate her, and the thought of that finally forced the tears that had been building up over the past hour to finally spill out. She cried silently, hugging herself as she walked slowly, bringing up the end.
"Queen Susan!" she heard Reepicheep call. She looked up; whipping tears from her face, hoping nobody would notice that she had been crying.
"Yes?" she called back, hoping that her voice didn't crack
"We have arrived" he said, and Susan looked up. What she saw took her breath away. The Narnians had constructed an entire city far from the view of the Telmarines, in a place that they knew they would never be found. Even though it was in clearing there was forest surrounding it, shielding it completely from anybody looking in from the outside. As she walked through the city, many turned to watch them. She was surprised to find talking animals and centaurs actually co-existing with Minotaur's and dwarves. She had to remind herself that it had been thirteen hundred years since the white witch had been defeated and that they will all Narnians, thus all had been forced into hiding. It made sense that they would be working together.
"Ah, Trumpkin, Nikabrik, Trufflehunter, Reepicheep" said a large centaur, walking up to them, "We have been awaiting your return. Come, there is someone you all need to meet. We will discuss the presences of these Telmarines with him" when he said the word 'Telmarines' he grimaced as if he had just said a bad word. Susan wanted to point out that she wasn't a Telmarine, but she didn't have the strength. Her fight with Caspian and seeing the Narnian city had simply drained all of the energy out of her body. What she wanted to do more than anything else was curl up in a nice, cosy bed and fall asleep. Instead she followed the large centaur into a cave. Once again she had a vague feeling of familiarity as she walked through the cave, guided mainly by the sound of the centaurs' hooves, but she didn't ask where they were. Finally, they arrived in a large circular room, and Susan saw a young man sitting in front of a stone table that was split… right down the middle… she gasped as she recognized where they were, wondering when it had become part of the Narnian underground. The centaur walked up to the young man and bowed before whispering something in his ear. The young man sat up abruptly after he heard the word 'Telmarines'. He stood up. He was tall with blonde hair and deep blue eyes. He had the same unhealthy look of someone who hadn't eaten for days and had suddenly been stuffed full of food. He seemed familiar. Very familiar.
"So," he said, "I've just been informed that we have three Telmarines in our presence" he said. Susan could have recognized his voice anywhere. Her heart leapt.
"Peter?" she asked cautiously. Her brother turned in her direction, and started to stalk towards her.
"That's High King Peter to you Telma…" he stopped short, recognizing his sister. His eyes widened in shock and a giant smile appeared on his face.
"Susan!" he basically screamed and the siblings ran to each other, Peter catching her in a hug that lifted her feet of the ground. And for a moment, if only for just one moment, everything seemed alright again.