A/N: Would like to thank Potterworm for suggesting the whole hospital find out about Cuddy's threat to Wilson and House. That did not occur to me but I love it.

7.10—"Pink Slip"

The couple stood in Wilson's empty office, looking around to make sure he hadn't left anything. House felt a sense of foreboding, and he knew exactly why. The last time the office had looked like this, Wilson had left him.

Wilson read House's mind somehow and curled an arm around his waist. "I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "When you come home after work, I'll be there. I promise."

"I know that," House answered, irritated at his irrational worry. He walked around the office as a pretence for shrugging Wilson's arm off. He ran a hand across the smooth wood of Wilson's desk. It was usually covered—neatly, though, of course—in patient files and paperwork. Now, like the rest of the office, it was completely empty. House eased himself up onto the desk and watched Wilson taking a last look around his office.

"Ready to go?" Wilson asked.

House patted the wood next to him. "This is our last chance to have sex on your desk," he said with a grin. He expected Wilson to roll his eyes, maybe grab his last box off the floor and start to head out the door. What he didn't expect was for Wilson to grin back at him, put his keys down, and join House on the desk.

"Seriously?" House asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide the excitement from his voice as Wilson made to kiss him. "What, now that it's not your office anymore you agree to office sex?"

"It's mostly to spite Cuddy," Wilson explained, lifting his mouth from House's neck. "Something about defiling her hospital's property with you sounds really appealing to me, considering what she did to us."

"Wilson, you dog," House accused, but he was grinning, clearly thrilled at the prospect of getting office sex and sending a big 'F you' to Cuddy at the same time.

Wilson didn't respond except to continue mouthing House's neck, but House took his chin in his hand in order to kiss him properly.

[]

Cuddy opened the door of the diagnostic conference room. "Is House here?" she asked the four doctors sitting at the table.

"He just left," Thirteen answered. "His backpack's gone, I think he was going to grab Wilson and go home. Why?"

"Wilson was supposed to drop off the keys to his office," Cuddy said distractedly. She sighed. "He probably just didn't want to see me. Maybe he left them on his desk."

The door to Wilson's office was locked, which irritated Cuddy, so she went through the diagnostic room into House's office and out onto his balcony. She was pretty sure Wilson's balcony door was never locked. Carefully sliding herself over the dividing wall, she headed across to his office. The balcony blinds were closed, but there was a slight gap in between two of them and Cuddy noticed movement inside. She frowned. If House had left, why would Wilson still be here? She peeked through the blinds, then gasped, clapped a hand to her mouth, and backed away.

She was a little shocked—House was one thing, but Wilson agreeing to this?—but that didn't make her any less thrilled. She quickly whipped out her cell phone and snapped a few pictures. This was perfect, too perfect. Cuddy thanked god for House's insatiable sex drive and for Wilson's inexplicable willingness to go along with him. She was going to fire House, that she knew, but the issue would have been coming up with a legitimate reason. Now she had one. No one on the board would question her decision to fire House now. Cuddy never thought she'd be so happy to inadvertently witness two men having sex.

[]

House returned from a patient room to find his door locked. He frowned. Why was his office locked? There was a reason he only locked it at night—he didn't carry his keys around with him. Probably an underling messing with him. He tried the door from the conference room for good measure, but whoever had locked him out of his office had clearly done a thorough job. Automatically he headed to Wilson's office to get there through the balcony, but then he remembered.

The diagnostician paged his four employees to his office and waited impatiently for them to show up.

"What's the matter?" Thirteen asked worriedly, hurrying down the hallway. Chase and Foreman followed her, looking at House with confusion. He wasn't surprised that Taub hadn't even bothered to run, but waited for his fourth fellow to arrive before holding his hands out to them.

"Keys," he said without looking at them. When no keys fell into his hands, he looked up, at each of them in turn. They all looked confused.

"Let me get this straight," Taub said. "You sent us an emergency page because you locked yourself out of your office?"

"No, I sent an emergency page because one of you locked me out of my office. Just give me my keys and then you can go test Mrs. Arm Paralysis."

"House, none of us has your keys," Foreman said, looking at him.

"Then locking me out was a pretty stupid thing to do," House retorted, annoyed. "You were in charge for awhile," he said to Foreman, "Don't you have a set?"

"House...I can't let you in," Foreman said without looking at him. "Cuddy just spoke to me. As of...about a half hour ago, you don't work here anymore."

House stared at him. The others were looking awkwardly at the floor. House looked back into his office and noticed, for the first time, all his stuff was gone.

[]

"You're gonna fire me and not even tell me about it?" House stormed, letting the French doors slam behind him.

"I was looking for you!" Cuddy replied. "I went by your office but you weren't there. I can't tell you if I can't find you."

"They have this new invention out now, it's been proven very useful in hospitals—it's called a pager. You use it to find a doctor when you can't find them."

"Oh, please," Cuddy said, rolling her eyes. "You never answer any of my pages anyway. And speaking of which, hand it over. There's a box of your stuff over there."

"You can't just do this," House said, getting frustrated and trying hard not to show it. "Wilson quits, so you punish him by firing me? In what universe is that legal?"

"Oh, I didn't fire you because Wilson resigned," Cuddy promised. "You're right, that would be unethical and illegal. No, I fired you for illicit behaviour on hospital grounds. I would have fired Wilson too, if he hadn't already left."

House looked at her suspiciously. "What are you talking about?"

Cuddy mimicked a baritone, "Oh, Wilson, yeah, there, Wilson. Oh my god! James! Yeah! Oh, do that again, Wilson!" She switched to another voice and continued, "Yes, Greg, harder, oh god!–"

"–Shut up!" House couldn't remember the last time he felt this pissed off and embarrassed. He didn't get embarrassed. He was always completely up front about anything to do with sex. He relished in making other people feel awkward but never had that problem himself.

But his relationship with Wilson, that was private, that was personal, and Cuddy had absolutely no right to make fun of it like this. What the hell was wrong with her? Part of him was angry with himself for letting it happen—a third of the fun of office sex was the chance of getting caught—but mostly he was incensed with Cuddy for trivialising the one thing that truly gave his life meaning. In that instant he hated her. The blood was pumping through his body, he imagined his hatred radiating from him. He had absolutely no idea how he could ever have considered himself in love with her. She was a conniving, manipulative bitch and he hated every inch of her, from her five hundred dollar heels to her cold, soulless eyes. He was glad she'd fired him because he never wanted to look at her again. He and Wilson would leave, they'd get away from this place, move far away. They'd sue Cuddy for all her and her precious hospital's worth and start their own medical practice where they'd never have to see her again. It'd be someplace warm. The New Jersey winters were torture for House's leg.

Not bothering to pick up his box of stuff (not that he could carry it anyway), he grabbed his keys from the top and left the office. He decided he would never come back.

[]

She really didn't think she'd have to do it. It was weird, walking past the office and seeing Foreman there instead of House. Part of her still expected Wilson to come back, to ask for House's job back. But even if he did, she couldn't give it to him. She'd promised Foreman it wouldn't be like before, and she couldn't break that promise. Dr. Foreman was a very good doctor, and he'd earned this. He'd been working toward becoming head of the department for years. It was his time.

Cuddy wondered how long it would be before House and Wilson broke up. Would he come to her? Probably not; he'd blame her. But maybe...maybe he'd realise that with Wilson gone, she was all he had left. Then maybe he'd come to her.

And she'd have to break her promise to Foreman and give House his job back. Or, she could always try and find a reason to fire Foreman. Cuddy was watching the differential through the glass walls of the conference room and she frowned, thinking about it. If only Lucas were still speaking with her, she could ask him to get some dirt on Foreman in case she needed it later, but their breakup had left him royally pissed off and she doubted he'd want anything to do with her, even if it was just business.

"Dr. Lisa Cuddy?" a voice interrupted her reflections.

"Yes?" she said, looking around for the speaker. A man in a black suit wordlessly handed her a thick envelope before turning around and walking away. She furrowed her brow, wondering what it was. She pulled on the metal pins and opened the flap, taking out the first sheet of paper.

[]

House glanced at his watch and then at the telephone. He looked into the kitchen at his former co-worker and smiled. "Wilson, Wilson, watch this," he said. "Three...two...one–"

The phone rang.

House and Wilson grinned at each other as House picked up the phone.

"House-Wilson residence."

"You're suing me?" Cuddy's voice blared into his ear. "What the hell, House?"

"You fired me," House replied conversationally. "Without just cause, I might add."

Cuddy gave a humourless laugh over the phone. "House, I've got years worth of just cause for firing you. I could have done it easily and legally even without my official reason of you and Wilson screwing on a hospital desk–"

House winced at Wilson's stricken face. "She knows about that?"

"It's nothing," House said quickly, avoiding the younger man's eye.

"–So go ahead, try and sue me, House, I wish you luck. All I need to do is show a judge the pictures of you two in Wilson's old office I have on my phone and the case will be dismissed. You stepped over the line with that, House, no one will see you as a victim." And with that, she hung up.

Wilson sat down on the couch looking shocked. "You didn't tell me she caught us having sex!"

House shrugged without looking at him. "Doesn't matter. We've still got the recording."

"But even with the recording, this changes things! A court might very well believe that she didn't mean what she said, and face it, Greg, it's not like this was your first indiscretion. With everything you've done over the years, having sex at work is perfectly reasonable grounds for dismissal!"

His tone wasn't angry, not at all. It was worried. House didn't say anything.

Wilson put his face in his hands. "This is all my fault. I was so mad at Cuddy, I just wanted to do any little rebellious thing to get back at her. I should have known we'd get caught, I should have said no, waited until we got home. Now you're out of a job and it's my–"

"–Yeah, Wilson," House said, glaring at him. "How dare you let me seduce you? You're right, you're completely to blame. We'll lose the lawsuit, I'll never work again and it will be your fault. You know what, I think I'm going to break up with you now. I can't be with someone who'll do something as unthinkable as sleep with me."

Wilson watched as House continued to stare at him intensely before launching himself across the couch and forcing their lips together.

"It happened, Wilson," House said, his eyes still closed. "I asked for it, you gave it to me, we both knew the risk involved, and it happened. Cuddy would have fired me anyway, and we still have the recording. She doesn't know about that, and maybe once she does...she might back off."

"So what do we do?" Wilson asked, holding House against him.

House smiled. "She found a way to fire me...maybe we can find a way to fire her."

[]

House had wanted to order pizza and drink beer, but Wilson had insisted on an elaborate dinner with expensive wine.

"I thought we decided no more dinner parties after that last fiasco," House grumbled, grimacing as Wilson threw a button-down shirt at him.

"It's not a party, it's just Chase and Thirteen," Wilson disagreed. "But I still want you to wear a nice shirt."

"What do you call this?" House asked, gesturing at his rock tee.

"A faded black piece of cotton."

"It's just gonna come off anyway," House pointed out.

"Not unless you behave. Come on, we're doing this to help our case against Cuddy. The only way you work again is if she caves. Come on, we need to do this."

House sighed and pulled on his shirt.

[]

"I'm going to come clean," Wilson said, putting down his glass of wine. "I actually had an ulterior motive for inviting you over."

"He wants to try a four-way," House cut him off. "But he thought while you two still worked for me it'd be awkward, so..."

Wilson pulled a USB drive out of his jacket pocket. "I'm not sure exactly what you were told about House's and my...leaving the hospital..."

"Cuddy wouldn't say why you left," Chase said. He turned to House. "All Foreman would tell us is that you were doing something 'inappropriate,' which doesn't really make sense considering only about 2% of what you do is appropriate–"

"–And Cuddy said she's not at liberty to say why she fired you—her words—so I snuck into her office. She had pictures on her cell phone of you two..."

"Makin' hot sweet man love," House supplied.

Thirteen smirked. "Nice ass, by the way."

"It's my best feature."

"No it's not," Wilson contradicted. "Anyway, yes, that was probably against our better judgement, and it certainly gave her an excuse to fire House, but it's not the real reason. Listen..."

He stuck the USB drive into his laptop, pulled up an audio program and pressed play. Thirteen and Chase leaned their heads forward to hear better.

I don't want to resign. I'd like things between you and me and you and House to go back to the way they were before. Please, if you just admit what you did and apologise for it, I'll tear up that letter. Just...please, Lisa.

Wilson, I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't give Monica my blessing to sleep with you and I certainly didn't hire her to break you and House up. I have nothing to apologise for, Wilson. But you're not resigning.

I am resigning. My mind was made up the moment I found out you're plotting against us. I can't work under these conditions, Lisa. I can't work for a woman who wants to steal away House's—and my—one chance at happiness.

...

...

I'll fire him. You're not leaving, Wilson. You go, he goes. And if you really love him, you know how much this job means to him. You'll stay.

No. I don't believe you, Cuddy. I'm calling your bluff. I'm leaving. If you can find it in you to admit what you did was wrong and make a sincere apology, I might come back. But right now I'm on my way to my office to clean out my things.

Wilson pressed stop. Chase and Thirteen stared at him and House.

"I don't get it," Thirteen said finally. "Did she really want to fire House or was she just trying to get you to stay?"

"I'm not sure," Wilson said, shrugging. "All I know is that ever since she found out we're together she's been trying to break us up. She hired Monica because she thought I would cheat with her."

"She'd do that?" Thirteen asked, wide-eyed.

"She did," House grumbled. "I wanted to leave too, but Cuddy very kindly pointed out that if I did I wouldn't be able to get a job anywhere else. She thinks that with me out of work, Wilson and I won't last."

"Why not just fire you right there, then?" Chase asked. "Why wait for Wilson to leave?"

"She needed me as leverage to get him to stay," House explained. "She probably thought Mr. Panty Peeler would cheat eventually, if she gave it more time, or maybe she has another evil plan that she can't put into action with him gone. Firing me was a last resort. She has it in her mind that if Wilson and I break up, I'll go to her. Which I'm more likely to do if I see her every day."

"She really thinks that?" Thirteen asked.

House shrugged. "I don't know."

"So what happens now?" Chase asked. "You have this proof that she fired you on a whim rather than an actual reason, so what are you going to do with it?"

"We're trying to sue her," Wilson explained, "but I'd really rather it not come to that. We think she might fold if...well..."

"We want you to spread this around the hospital," House cut in. "Maybe her reputation gets trashed, maybe she loses her job, maybe she gives me my job back if we tell the board she didn't mean it, I don't know. Whatever she gets, she deserves."

They all stared at him.

"Greg," Wilson said softly. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Not here," House said without looking at him. "And don't call me that. Not here."

Chase picked up the USB drive. He looked at Wilson. "This is what you want?" he clarified.

Wilson was still looking at House, but he turned to Chase and nodded. "It's what we need."

[]

Thirteen came downstairs to do her clinic duty. Now that their patient had been cured under Foreman's supervision, she had time to catch up on her hours. She was right in front of Cuddy's office when she fell to the floor. She didn't pass out; her body started jerking all over the place. Clinic patients stood up in their chairs in the waiting area to see what was going on while the nurses started gathering around.

Cuddy hadn't been looking up when the seizure started, but she heard the commotion outside and as soon as she saw what was going on she got up and hurried out of her office to see what had happened. What she didn't see was Dr. Chase sneaking into her office while everyone else's eyes were on the seizing Dr. Hadley.

He stuck the USB drive into the side of the computer and pulled up her email, which, in her haste to attend to Thirteen, she had not logged out of. He didn't enter a subject line or a message, but he added the audio file as an attachment. He clicked the "To" link, which showed a list of doctors and a list of lists of doctors. He clicked the list that read "All Staff" before hitting send. Then he deleted the message from her "sent" folder and grabbed the USB drive.

Chase joined the crowd around his girlfriend and, hoping his acting skills wouldn't fail him, asked in a worried tone what happened.