Chapter Eleven
The crowd is so quiet, you can hear a pin the cameras point at my face, when I realize that I am the girl from Seven. My face is flushing red and I look down at my feet to avoid the cameras. The audience is silent, for once.
"That's bad luck," Caesar says, apologetically. Peeta nods and the buzzer is the only sound in the room.
"Good luck, Peeta. May the odds, however impossible, be in your favour," Caesar says, as Peeta walked off the stage. I'm still frozen in my chair and in a daze for the rest of Caesar's goodbyes to the audience.
The moment I'm hidden away from the cameras, Johanna and Blight stalk towards me. Blight has a look of cold fury, while Johanna just looks murderous.
"What happened?" Blight asks, cooly.
"I don't know," I tell them, truthfully.
"You didn't break it off did you?" Johanna accuses.
"Yes I did!" I defend, "Just like you told me to."
Johanna snorts, "Believe it or not, but the proclamation of his love for you doesn't back your case."
"I didn't know he was going to do anything like that! We were only friends!" I sputter. Blight narrows his eyes at me, "Alright."
I can tell he doesn't believe me. I'm ready to drop the conversation, but Johanna isn't.
"Alright? Alright! Katniss just ruined her chance of survival over boy troubles!" Johanna yells at Blight, "And you're just going to say alright?"
"What else can we do?" Blight demands.
"Damage control? Dismiss it on teenage hormones?" Johanna replies.
"They're not going to buy it," Blight responds, angrily.
"They might," Johanna says, "We need to try!" She's still breathing hard, but she's calming down.
"No," Blight orders, his tone making it clear that it's not up for debate. For a moment, I think Johanna is about to punch him, but instead she just pivots and marches towards Rilien, who was looking like a petrified rabbit during the whole scene. Blight walks in front of me, making it clear he's not in the mood to talk. I don't mind, all I can think about is Peeta's proclamation of love.
We turn the corner and see the Twelve crowd waiting for the elevator. Peeta is standing there, talking to his district partner, the girl whose dress turne dinto ashes. I walk towards Peeta and slap him, as hard as I can.
"What the hell was that Peeta! I tell you I want to end our friendship and the next day, the next fucking day, you want to become my boyfriend!" I yell at him, "What gave you the right? Did you even think about my family? Prim?"
I'm beyond mad. Madder than I am at Aery for dressing me up as a tree, Blight for thinking I'm a liar and Johanna for making me end my friendship with Peeta. Haymitch, Peeta's drunken mentor pushes me away from him with a surprising amount of force, considering he's a washed up drunk. Johanna, Blight and Rilien get there a second later. Everyone stares at the bright red handprint on Peeta's cheek and then at me.
"I'm sorry," Peeta says, sounding not the least bit sorry.
"Oh, your sorry. Well it's a bit late for that isn't it?" I shoot back.
"If anything I helped you!" He defends himself.
"Helped?" I ask, outraged, "How in the world—"
Johanna cuts me off, "Wait."
"What? No!" I yell, prepared to finish my statement.
Haymitch begins arguing, "You can capitalize on this, I can sell the sweet baker boy from Twelve as easily as you can sell the girl who got the highest training score, but is a likeable as a dead slug, but if we can sell them as the soulmates from separate districts, we can give them both a chance!"
I'm still ready to slap Peeta and Haymitch while I'm at it, but to my horror, Johanna and Blight seem to be considering it.
The elevator arrives at the seventh floor with a ding and we all climb in it. I spend the ride glaring at Peeta, while Blight, Johanna and Haymitch make plans to meet, all the while ignoring my protests. I storm into my bedroom, close the door and try to get to sleep.
No matter how long I keep my eyes close, I can't fall asleep, all I can think of is Travier. I wonder if he had slept on this exact bed, knowing that he'd probably be killed the next day, or if he thought he would survive and see his family again. Did he get nightmares and wake up screaming, like Rilien did the other night? Did he think about the family that would suffer, or the hunting partner he'd leave alone? Back home I liked to pretend that Travier spent his last few days alive being defiant and rebellious, not bending to any Capitol rule or demand. I still remember watching his interview and being completely dumbfounded, because the Travier I was watching on the screen wasn't the same one I knew. He looked glossy and unreal, just like the Capitol citizens we'd see in the advertisements. I couldn't spot a single flaw in his appearance, even the mole on his neck was disappeared, like magic. It was scary.
I try to shut my eyes again, but hours later when they're eyes still open, I get sick of it and head up to the roof, hoping that Peeta wouldn't be there.
To my luck, the roof is absent of the baker. I go over to the edge and sit, looking down on the colourful city. Crowds of lights pulse through the city, the street lamps are light up in a barrage of colour and bright explosions of light are in the sky. My school teacher once told us about them, fireworks, I remember her calling them. We see them on tv every year, but they're nothing compared to the real thing. They're so far away they could be stars, the clouds of smoke they leave behind blend into the background, only to light up again when another firework goes off. It's mesmerizing.
"The parties are for us, tonight," Peeta tells me, opening the door onto the roof.
"Get away from me," I order. I'm not in the mood to talk, especially because in less than twenty four hours I'm probably going to be killing people, or, I think bitterly, I'd be dead.
"Katniss," He pleads again, exactly like he had last night.
I face him, "Why did you do it? We could get sponsors alone, why the hell did you bring me into your complicated plan? I have a family to look after! People that might not survive if I don't win these games!"
Peeta tries to sit next to me, before I give him a harsh glare. Peeta sits beside me anyways and I scoot over a bit. I'm still fuming, imagining stabbing him with a pitchfork.
He faces me, "Because I want you to stay alive for the longest time possible and if this helps for just ten minutes, it'll be worth it," He tells me. I stare at him, was he being honest? Or just trying to play me? His eyes are mesmerizing, a light blue that I can stare into for hours. I can see an naive innocence in his eyes, the same naive innocence I see in Prim's. He hasn't faced real hardship, not like I have. He can still dream of a happy ending, but the good type of people never win they game. Peeta couldn't kill anyone, he'll probably be gone by the bloodbath.
I don't respond. It makes sense. Additional sponsors help you live longer, it's a fact, part of the reason the careers win so often.
"Why me though? You could of use your district partner, Jhoda or what ever her name is and done it. It would of been easier," I ask.
"Because Katniss, maybe I do like you, maybe I want the Capitol to die in a hole for keeping us apart by threatening your family. Maybe I don't want them to hold all the cards anymore," He tells me. I stay quiet, just stare at the huge party that's taking up an entire park. I can hear laughter and loud music sounding from it. I think of District Seven, where they are probably preparing for another day of gruelling work, Prim is having a nightmare, about watching me die, slow and bloody.
"Katniss, if I die in the bloodbath, if I'm the first cannon, I want you to know that you have to win. Stretch the mourning tribute act to the max, make sponsors beg your mentors to give them money," Peeta says.
"You won't die in the bloodbath," I lie.
"You never know," He responds, grimly. I feel a small sadness. Peeta isn't naive enough to think getting past the bloodbath will be easy.
"I can't act," I tell him. It's the truth. I couldn't play any of the personalities Blight wanted me to play for the interviews and that was with four hours to practice.
"Then I'll give you some motivation," He says. I look at him, puzzled. What in the world did that even mean? Then, he kisses me. It's short, barely lasting a second, before he dashes out into the elevator. I blink. I can still feel a warmth on my lips. I'm in a daze as I head back to my room thoughts spinning in my head, before I fall asleep. Does Peeta actually expect us to get together during the games? And if he dies, does he even care how he left me feeling? Was his entire time since I met him an act to get this more sponsors?
Hi everyone, I'd like to apologize for not updating for a while. It's been a very stressful time for me recently and this story isn't a priority compared to everything else in my life. So, once again, I'm sorry.