Susan watched as Edmund and Caspian practiced their sword fighting. If she wasn't so disgusted with herself she would have found it quite comical. After almost every swing Peter had to remind his brother that it was only a practise and that Caspian wasn't actually the enemy. It seemed that Edmund still blamed Caspian for Susan's injury.
It had been two days already and she still couldn't believe what had happened, she could not believe that she had tripped and broken her arm. It didn't seem real. She sighed and sunk her head in between her knees.
"Something wrong my queen?" asked Peter, sitting down beside her. Susan groaned.
"Obviously" she said sarcastically and Peter chuckled.
"You know…" he said after a few seconds, "Caspian was truly troubled by your injury"
"No he wasn't. He's glad that I cannot fight," she said simply.
"Why would you think that?"
"Because he asked me not to fight right before I got injured"
"I see. Well then, of course he is glad that you cannot fight, but he was also troubled because you got injured"
"I would hope so"
"Don't be so bitter"
"I want to help Peter. I want to help; I want to give the Narnians back their land. But I can't do that if I'm sitting in an empty city with Lucy"
"I understand that you want to help, but you cannot. We attack day after tomorrow, you cannot possibly be healed by then"
"Remind me why Lucy can't just give me a drop of…"
"Because," interrupted Peter, "We will probably have many injured in this battle. We need to save it"
"That's a stupid excuse. You can always spare a drop"
"Not in this case. Susan, please, just accept the situation"
She groaned. Part of her wanted to tell Peter to shut up and leave her alone, but another part of her wanted him to stay. He was being sensible and she wasn't. She wasn't used to not being the sensible one.
"Peter!" called Caspian, and Peter stood up, taking the sword from Edmunds hand, starting to practice sword fighting with Caspian. Edmund walked over to sit by Susan, sweat running down the side of his face and dripping from his hair.
"You should get this cut," said Susan, raking her hands through his hair and then wiping the sweat on her brothers' shirt. Edmund chuckled.
"Lucy said it made me look older"
"It does. But why do you need to look older? Everybody respects you and follows your orders. You are second in command!"
"Third" mumbled Edmund.
"Third?"
"Caspian" was all her brother said, glaring at his sisters love interest. Susan sighed.
"Why don't you like him Edmund?"
"Why DO you like him?"
"He's kind, smart, easy to talk to, funny… Need I go on?"
"Alright, you've made your point. I don't know, I just don't. He makes me… uneasy. I feel like he's going to steal something from me"
Susan burst out laughing, "That's ridiculous"
"No, it isn't. Remember back in Finchley? When that guy was following us and I said I felt like he was going to steal something from us and he ended up taking all our money?"
"We had about five pounds on us Ed"
"Still. I just don't like Caspian"
"I guess you're allowed to like and dislike whomever you choose. I just wish you'd give him a chance"
"Maybe" said Edmund, "I'll think about it" the look on his face told Susan that he wasn't planning on loosing sleep over the subject. His mind was made up.
"Oh, I just thought I'd mention, this," she pointed to her bandaged arm, "Was in no way Caspian's fault. So you can stop trying to murder him"
"I'm simply getting ready for battle" shrugged Edmund.
"No, this is more than that. I'm not asking you to like him, I'm just asking you not to aim for his neck every three swings"
Edmund chuckled, and focused his sight on his brother and Caspian. Susan did the same.
She had to admit that watching them practice was breath taking. Both were so skilled with the sword that her heart skipped a beat every time one of them swung.
"I bet I could beat both of them," mumbled Edmund, and Susan scoffed.
"Ed, you're good, but you're too cocky for your own good. You could never beat Peter and Caspian if they were both up against you"
"Of course I could, I simply choose not too because I do not want to loose my brother"
"But you wouldn't mind loosing Caspian?"
Edmund didn't answer.
The siblings watched in silence as Peter and Caspian fought ferociously, and finally Caspian put a hand up, signalling respite. He handed Edmund his sword and sat down beside Susan who smiled the way she always did when he was near. Like Edmund, Caspian's face was covered in sweat, which also dripped off the ends of his hair. It was strangely attractive and Susan had to force herself to watch her brother's duel.
"Your brothers are extremely skilled," said Caspian, and Susan nodded quietly.
"But so are you. You will not look like a fool beside them"
"I wasn't worried about looking like a fool," said Caspian, a mischievous grin on his face. Susan smiled and shook her head. Caspian's grin disappeared and was replaced by a look of concern.
"How are you feeling?" he asked. Susan sighed.
"Useless, I mean, who in the world trips over a tree branch and breaks their arm?"
"You"
"That's what I mean, only me, and three days before the Narnian war of the century! I was supposed to be there claiming victory along with you and my brothers, and yet I'm going to be sitting in an empty city wondering whether or not you are even alive, and the thought of anything happening to you just kills…"
Caspian cut her off by brushing his lips against hers. She looked at him, surprised.
"I thought you needed that" he whispered, smiling crookedly.
"My brothers…"
"Already know. At least your brother Edmund does"
Susan laughed and glanced at her brothers, who were still fiercely battling each other. She decided it was safe and leaned in and kissed Caspian again. She was lost in his kiss; it was so deep, so passionate, nothing like when they kissed secretly. She could feel his strong hand placed delicately on her cheek and she put her hand on top of it. She noticed him smiling as his lips danced across hers…
"Ahem…" they heard Edmund, and they broke apart and stared up at her brothers who had stopped practising and where watching them intently. Peter had a comical grin on his face, but Edmund looked as if he could murder Caspian right there.
"Do you mind? We're trying to duel"
"We weren't doing anything to stop you"
"No, but you were distracting us, and it is terribly difficult to battle with something as distracting as a good for nothing…"
"Ed"
"What?" he asked, glaring at Peter.
"That's enough. There's no need for insults" Edmund bit his lip and turned his glare to Caspian.
"I think your rest time is up" he said bitterly, pointing his sword at his neck. Caspian nodded slightly, making sure that the blade did not cut into his throat and took the sword that Peter was holding. He stood up slowly and followed Edmund to the centre of the field where they had been practising, his opponent's blade not dropping from his neck for a second. Suddenly, Caspian attacked, practically knocking Edmunds sword out of his grasp. Edmund glared and returned the attack, fiercely, with passion. The same way Caspian had kissed Susan just seconds before. Peter sat down beside Susan, chuckling.
"You need to be more careful Susan"
"Careful?"
"Yes"
"Why?"
"Because if you pull something like that again, Edmund will have Caspian's head"
xxx
Susan had always found that Christmas Eve was the slowest day in the world. The anticipation of what was to come almost killed her, and on top of that she could never get to sleep before at least three in the morning. It was like that for her the day before Caspian, her brothers and the rest of the Narnians went to battle against the Telmarines. She spent the entire day tapping her foot, pacing, biting her nails, doing all of the things that people do when they need a distraction but simply cannot find one. That night Caspian kissed her goodnight and tucked her into her bed as if she were a child.
"Promise me something," she whispered.
"Anything" he breathed.
"Promise that you will return to me"
Caspian pursed his lips and stroked her cheek.
"I can't promise you that"
"Caspian" she said sharply.
"Yes?"
"Promise me"
"I can't…"
"Caspian!" she sat up, pain in her eyes, feeling the tears threatening to spill out. He sighed and kissed her forehead, his lips lingering on her skin much longer than they needed too.
"I promise," he whispered and Susan smiled, kissing him lightly on the cheek. She lay back down in her bed and watched as he walked out of her room, that smile that he caused always stupidly splayed across her face.
She laid that way for what seemed to be hours, thinking up the worst possible situations in her head. What if Edmund suddenly went mad halfway through the battle and decided that Caspian was a regular Telmarine that needed to be exterminated? What if the Telmarine king was actually ready for the attack? What if…
Suddenly she found herself staring through the small window in her room at the daylight outside. She yawned, guessing that she must have finally fallen asleep. She lay in her bed for a few minutes, and then realized what day it was. She jumped out of the bed quickly, not even bothering to change out of her nightgown, and ran down to the dinning room, where she saw Lucy sitting alone at the large table tapping her fingernails on the wood.
"Where is everybody?" asked Susan. Lucy looked up at her. She looked tired, as if she hadn't slept at all that night.
"They left. About an hour ago"
"No" shrieked Susan, running to the front door and throwing it open. Sure enough the city was completely deserted, except for one faun who sat watch on top of the highest tree. Susan stalked back into the dinning room and sat beside Lucy.
"Why didn't you wake me?" she practically screamed.
"Well… Caspian said you had said your goodbyes last night and… well, Peter didn't want to stall the troops any longer than they needed too so…"
"Peter…" she said, her jaw setting, "I can't believe he would just… leave! What if he never comes back! What if Edmund never comes back! What if Caspian…" she felt the tears starting to roll down her cheeks.
"Susan, they will come back," said Lucy gently placing her hand on Susan's.
"You don't know that. From what I've heard the Telmarines are very strong…"
"So are the Narnians. Remember, we have the element of surprise"
Susan sighed, wiping the tears from her face.
"I just can't believe they didn't even say goodbye…"
"Come, we should go for a walk. I don't want to be cooped up in here all day" said Lucy, standing up and offering Susan her hand. Susan stood up and grabbed her hand, and together they walked down the empty streets of Narnia.
xxx
Susan had almost expected that the Narnian army would have returned by that night, but then she remembered that it was actually quite a long trek to the Telmarine castle. She decided that she should continue going on her nightly walks, so shortly after nightfall she started to wander the city. The music that night was different in many ways. For one there was only one faun playing, at it wasn't the typical cheerful tune that the fauns normally played. This one was sad, depressing. It almost sounded helpless, as if the Narnians didn't stand a chance. She sat down under a tree, looking at the stars.
"Susan?" she heard Lucy call. Susan looked up and saw Lucy standing right over her, "I thought it was you"
"Who else would it be?"
"True. Do you mind?" she asked, pointing to the empty spot beside her sister. Susan shrugged and Lucy sat down beside her.
"Susan…" she started, but then she bit her lip, as if she wasn't sure whether or not to continue.
"Yes?" asked Susan, filled with curiosity. Lucy took a deep breath.
"What do you think happened to Aslan?" she asked. Susan looked up at the sky.
"I don't know Lucy. To tell you the truth, I was sure he would have shown up by now"
"Me too, but why do you think he hasn't?"
"Things never happen the same way twice" she answered, remembering the Doctor's words.
"Sounds like something Aslan would say…" said Lucy, and Susan chuckled, remembering that that was exactly what she had said to the Doctor.
"Maybe he's just…waiting for the right moment"
"I would guess that it would be now"
"I would agree" said Susan, "I'm not sure if we can win this battle without Aslan's help"
"Of course we can! Our armies are strong, and so are the leaders. But… having Aslan would definitely help. A lot"
"Indeed" said Susan. She fell into a deep silence, simply sitting beside her sister, watching the night sky, the music filling her. Lucy let her head drop on Susan's shoulder. Susan squealed in pain and Lucy sat up.
"Sorry! I forgot about your arm"
"How could you forget about it? It's the reason that I'm here"
"What?" asked Lucy, looking confused. Susan raised an eyebrow.
"I… I was supposed to go with them, to fight. I was supposed to lead the archers, but I got injured and…"
"They were going to leave me alone" mumbled Lucy, "I cannot believe they were planning on leaving me alone, what did they think I was going to do all this time?" she screamed the last bit, and the music stopped. The faun had obviously been alarmed by Lucy's sudden outburst.
"Lucy…"
"I cannot believe this! I cannot believe they were planning on taking you too. Am I really that useless?"
"No, that title belongs to me"
"Obviously not if they wanted you to lead the archers!"
"Come on Lucy, you knew you weren't going to come… you have to tend to the injured soldiers after… you wouldn't be much help if you got injured yourself"
Lucy exhaled sharply.
"Lu, don't be mad at Peter and Edmund. What if they don't come back?"
Suddenly the tears that Lucy seemed to have been holding back for a long time came trickling to the surface.
"I know," she said, grabbing a fistful of grass as the music started up again, "I know I just… I can't think of loosing anybody else"
"Who have you lost?"
"Mr. Tumnus. The beavers. Everybody that used to reside in Narnia when we were kings and queens!"
Susan let what her sister had just said sink in. She hadn't even thought about that. All of their old friends were gone… How could she have forgotten about Mr. Tumnus? Of course he had been more Lucy's friend than hers, but she had risked a lot to save him from the White Witch…
"I… Lucy, I'm sorry…"
"It's not your fault" But as she said those words Susan felt as if it were here fault. She had been the one to mention her brothers possible disappearance forever…
"I wonder… I wonder if you die here… where do you go?"
"You probably go to be with Aslan," said Susan bitterly. Lucy looked like she was thinking for a few seconds, and then she wiped the tears from her face.
"You really think he's gone? I mean, for good?"
"I never said that. I don't believe he can be gone" clarified Susan.
"But if you die, and you go to be with Aslan…"
"It's just a theory Lu"
"It seems like a pretty believable theory"
"Well, I don't know. To tell you the truth I don't even know whether you can actually truly die in Narnia… being from England"
Lucy sat in silence for a while, staring at the grass, tears still falling from her eyes.
"It's getting late" she said suddenly, standing up, "I'm going to bed"
Susan watched as her sister walked away slowly, and began to ponder on her sisters' question, hoping that neither her brothers nor Caspian would be finding out anytime soon.
xxx
The days passed slowly. Lucy and Susan had stopped talking, coming to a silent agreement that if they did talk all they would be able to talk about was death and dying and whether or not the battle had ended, or if had even started.
Susan found herself wishing for Caspian to be beside her every second of the day, no matter where she was. She could remember the first time they met; how he had simply thought she was a strangely dressed peasant. She wondered if he would have fallen in love with her had he never known she was a queen. Maybe, maybe not. She might never get to ask him.
Susan had stopped counting the days since the army had left after the second day of them being gone, figuring that it would just make the days seem longer, and wasn't truly aware if a month had passed or if it had only been a week. It felt as if it had been years. What she did know was that her arm was healing, slowly but surely.
One day, while Susan was walking alone through the empty streets, she heard someone running behind her, and turned, expecting to see Lucy. Instead she saw the guard faun, running towards her, a smile on his face. It was as if the world stopped turning when he yelled 'The armies have returned'. Susan didn't waste any time, running towards the entrance to the city. The faun continued running into the city, probably looking for Lucy.
The first person she saw was Peter who led the troops on horse. His helmet was gone and his armour was shredded. He had a huge gash on his cheek that had the appearance of having scabbed over and reopened. But despite his ghastly appearance he had a victorious smile on his face. He got off his horse and greeted Susan in a bone-crushing hug.
"I'm so happy to see you," she wept. Peter nodded his agreement, "Where is Edmund?"
Peter bit his lip and signalled towards the rest of the army. Susan noticed how much smaller it was. Not even a quarter of the city had returned, and there had been two cities fighting. She gave Peter a worried look and he shook his head reassuringly. She ran towards the army, searching earnestly for Edmund, but she couldn't find him. She turned back to Peter.
"Where's Ed? And Caspian?"
"Ed is in the Telmarine city, taking care of the severely injured"
"We won," she said breathlessly. It wasn't a question, it was a statement.
"Yes, we won. We have come to bring you and Lucy back to the castle"
"And where is Caspian?"
"Caspian is with Aslan," said Peter as he received Lucy in the same bone-crushing hug that he had given Susan. Susan thought of her conversation with Lucy that one night (how long ago had that been?), about how maybe when somebody died in Narnia, they went to be with Aslan. Peter turned to her as soon as she let out a muffled cry, her hand clamped over her mouth, tears streaking down her face. Peter put a protective arm around Susan.
"Come, we will return to the city. There is someone there who can explain the situation much better then I can"
Reluctantly Susan climbed onto a horse and she followed her brother and the small entourage that had accompanied him. She noticed the guard faun riding with Lucy, and she wondered if they had formed some sort of friendship while the sisters weren't talking. But at that moment she couldn't feel happy for her sister. She couldn't feel happy for anybody. She felt empty.
A/N cliffie! Sorry if you hate those! I'm working on the next chapter already and should have it up by tomorrow or Sunday…