7.15—"Babysitting"
There was a soft knock on Wilson's door before Cuddy hesitantly let herself in. "Good morning, Dr. Wilson," she greeted, smiling nervously.
"Good morning, Dr. Cuddy," Wilson replied, his tone of voice and facial expression similar to the Dean of Medicine's. Though she hadn't been anything other than civil since her apology to House and Wilson before her neurosyphilis diagnosis, things were still strained between them. House only spoke to her when absolutely necessary, though his hostility had begun to fade.
"Listen," Cuddy said, sitting down gingerly in Wilson's patient chair, "I know I'm in no position to ask you for a favour, but...I'm going to. I'll understand if you refuse and I won't hold it against you."
"It's not another shadowing program, is it?" Wilson asked, smiling, and Cuddy returned the smile looking relieved.
"No, it's actually a personal favour. You know I'm going to that conference in Seattle this weekend? Since Lucas and I aren't together anymore, I can't bring Rachel with me because I won't have anyone to watch her while I'm attending seminars. And my babysitter can only work days and evenings, not overnight. So I was wondering...if you'd mind babysitting." She gave him a hopeful smile.
Wilson leaned back in his chair, sighing. "Of course I wouldn't mind, Lisa, but you know how House feels about kids, especially babies..."
"Oh, it would just be at my house," Cuddy said. "You can use the guest bedroom. House can stay there with you if you want, but he doesn't have to."
Wilson hesitated, thinking.
"It's just two nights," Cuddy said. "The babysitter works until seven on Friday and I'll be back Sunday night. I'll pay whatever you want for the weekend, and you get two days' room and board free."
Wilson smiled at her. "All right," he agreed. "But if House asks, I told you maybe and didn't say yes until speaking with him first."
"Thank you," Cuddy said, and the oncologist could tell she really meant it. "I really appreciate it, James."
"You're welcome. Here, I'll walk out with you. I've gotta talk to House anyway, see what he thinks."
They left the office together, Cuddy heading to the elevators and Wilson to the diagnostic room. House glanced at him as he entered before turning back to his team.
"All right, the two of you whose names start with 'T' start her on Prednisone, the other two, check out the apartment. Scatter."
They did what they were told and Wilson sat down at the table next to House.
"What's up?" House asked, watching Wilson.
The oncologist smiled at his friend. "Cuddy wants me to babysit this weekend when she goes to Seattle."
House looked him over. "What'd you tell her?"
"That I'd speak with you first."
House shrugged, looking at the table. "She asked you, not me. If you want to relive your teenage years, go for it. As long as the thing stays at Cuddy's and not the condo."
"She will," Wilson said. "But I'm going to be house-sitting, too, for the weekend. Cuddy said you're welcome to stay over, too."
"But I don't have to do anything," House clarified. "Stay over at Cuddy's without having to watch the baby."
"Sounds about right," Wilson shrugged.
"Okay. But if it wakes me up in the middle of the night, I might abandon you there."
"That's fair," Wilson agreed, smiling. "Great, I'm gonna go tell Cuddy I agree."
"No," House contradicted as Wilson started to get up. "You're gonna go tell her I agree. You've obviously already told her yes. You've gotta be nice, even to people you owe absolutely nothing to. It's part of your whole wanting everybody to like you complex. You agree so she'll like you, then you pretend to ask my permission first so I'll like you."
"Do you like me?" Wilson asked, half-amused, half-bemused, from the doorway.
House looked him over and shrugged. "I like parts of you."
Wilson chuckled. "I like parts of you, too, House. I'll see you later."
[]
House went through Cuddy's refrigerator, gagging at pretty much everything he saw, while Wilson introduced himself to the babysitter and took Rachel.
"Where Mamma?" the toddler asked, looking up at Wilson.
"She went on a trip," Wilson explained. "My name is James and this is my friend Greg, and we're going to watch you until she gets back. She'll be back the day after tomorrow."
Rachel nodded, processing and accepting this. "You sleep here?"
"That's right, Greg and I are going to sleep here tonight and tomorrow."
She nodded again. "I want go down."
Wilson placed her carefully on the floor, and she toddled into the kitchen where House was raiding Cuddy's cabinets. Rachel looked up at the tall man.
"What you name?"
"My name is House. But I'm not watching you, I'm just looking for something edible. Go bother Wilson."
Rachel giggled. "House not name! House..." she thought for a moment, then brightened and wandered off to the living room. She pulled a picture book from the shelf next to the television and brought it over to House. She opened it to a page showing a house and pointed. "This house," she announced.
House looked at the book, then at her, and shrugged. "Touché. You can call me Greg, unless you have a picture of one of those too."
"Geg," Rachel repeated. She turned to Wilson, who had been watching the scene with amusement. "What you name?"
"His name's Wilson," House responded before the oncologist could answer.
"Wisn," Rachel repeated, looking at him, before turning her attention to House again. "You sleep here?"
"Yup. I sleep with Wilson."
"House," Wilson said in a warning voice.
"What?" House asked innocently. "I meant it in the literal sense. Get your head out of the gutter, Wilson, there's a child present."
"Come on," Rachel said, toddling out of the kitchen. "I show you." Wilson began to follow her, and House, giving up on finding a snack with more than five calories, followed him. Rachel led them down the hall into Cuddy's room and pointed at the bed. "This Mamma room," Rachel explained. "You sleep here."
House grinned at Wilson.
"House, n–"
"–We are so–"
"–We are so not," Wilson contradicted, blushing. He squatted down to the girl's level. "Actually, Rachel, your mamma said we're going to sleep in the guest room. It's down the hall from here."
"Guess room?"
Wilson took her small hand and led her there; she nodded when the reached it.
"This exta room," she said. "You sleep here?"
"We'll sleep here," House grinned, qualifying, "but before we go to sleep we'll spend some time in Mamma's room, too."
"No," Wilson said. "We won't. Now why don't you call for some dinner? I've got to give Rachel a bath and get her ready for bed."
House lifted Wilson's wallet from his back pocket (Wilson knew it was just an excuse to touch his ass; he had all the credit card numbers memorised) and disappeared back into the living room.
[]
The two doctors lay, panting, on their backs, all important body parts covered with the white sheet, but naked underneath it.
"Cuddy's going to kill us," Wilson groaned in between breaths. "I can't believe you."
"Sure you can," House said cheerfully.
"You know that she's had sex with Lucas in this bed, right?"
House shrugged. "You've had sex with Sam in our bed."
Wilson put his hands over his face. "When are you going to let that go? It wasn't our bed at the time, House, and how many times do you need to hear me say that I was only with her because I knew I was in love with you?"
"Seventy-three," House deadpanned.
Wilson chuckled and got up, looking for his clothes. After a moment, House followed suit.
"I hope we haven't scarred her for life," Wilson muttered as he pulled on an undershirt.
House scoffed. "Like you're not gonna go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond tomorrow and buy her a new set of sheets."
"I meant Rachel," Wilson said, rolling his eyes. "I'm going to go check on her and make sure she didn't wake up."
House followed him.
The toddler was fast asleep in her small bed, mouth open and clutching a stuffed rabbit. Wilson looked at her fondly and stroked her hair. House looked from Wilson to the baby and back to Wilson, who stopped stroking her hair to smile at his lover.
"Absolutely not," House said in a stage-whisper. "We are not having a baby. No way, Wilson."
Wilson chuckled, stepping over to House and giving him a quick kiss. "I know we're not."
"You had that look," House accused. "The look women get when they see someone else's baby and then decide to have one of their own."
"For what it's worth, I think you'd be a good father, Greg. But don't worry, we don't need to have a baby, I'm happy with our life the way it is." He kissed House again before smiling at him. "Come on, let's get to bed."
[]
House sat on Cuddy's couch, watching TV at low volume. It was the middle of the night, but after over an hour of failing to fall asleep he decided to give up. He rubbed his leg absent-mindedly. A door creaked, and he turned his head back but didn't see Wilson. Maybe just a draft. Then he heard the soft padding of feet and Rachel appeared around the side of the couch.
He looked her over. "You're supposed to be in bed."
"No can sleep." She looked around the room. "Where Mamma?"
"She's not here. She's in Seattle. She'll be back Sunday night. Go back to bed."
Rachel's chin quivered and House grimaced. "I want Mamma," she said, tears sliding down her face.
House sighed and picked her up, setting her down beside him on the couch. She wasn't sobbing, but crying quietly.
"I want Mamma," she softly repeated.
"Hold on a sec, I'll try and give her a call," House said, reaching for the phone on the coffee table.
Rachel looked at him, not crying anymore. "Mamma no sleepin'?"
"It's two in the morning here," House said, dialling, "but in Seattle, where Cuddy is, it's only eleven at night. She might still be awake."
"Hello?" She sounded tired, but she still answered.
"Yeah, your kid's got insomnia and she wants to talk to you," House said, handing the phone to Rachel.
"Mamma?" Rachel asked as House positioned the phone correctly in her hands. Her face lit up. "Hi, Mamma...no can sleep...yes...yes...wuvvoo too, Mamma." She looked up at House, who took the phone back.
"House?" Cuddy's voice said through the phone.
"Yeah?"
She paused. "Thank you. That was...a really nice thing to do."
House shrugged. "Just selfish. She was crying...you know..."
"Even so," she said. "I appreciate it."
"Just don't tell Wilson about it," House said. "I don't need to see the smug look on his face."
Cuddy chuckled. "All right, House, I won't. Good night."
"Night."
He hung up the phone and turned to Rachel, who'd been watching him. "I no crying," she said.
"Yeah, not anymore," House agreed. "I fixed it. Maybe Wilson's right after all. But we can't let him know that, okay?"
Rachel nodded. "Okay."
[]
Wilson rolled over in bed and felt House's absence. He opened his eyes and grabbed his phone. Just past three. Insomnia? But then he heard a high-pitched giggle. Rachel? Wilson got up, intrigued. Why would House be up with Rachel?
"Oh, here he comes," Wilson heard House's voice as he came down the hallway. Two heads peered at him from over the top of the couch. "All right," House continued, turning to Rachel. "Now just like I taught you, okay? And make sure to give him a big smile, too."
"Okay," Rachel agreed. She grinned at Wilson as he joined them on the couch. "Niseass, Wisn."
"House!" Wilson admonished, stifling laughter while House roared with it. "That's terrible." The effect of his words were slightly ruined by the grin on his face, and neither of the others took him seriously.
"Learning to compliment others is important for making friends," House pointed out.
"There's a difference between a compliment and sexual harassment," Wilson retorted, still smiling.
"You gonna sue her?"
Wilson chuckled. "Her mom might sue you if she finds out."
"Nah, she won't. She'll be jumping with joy that things are back to normal between us."
"I guess," Wilson conceded. "So what are you two doing up?"
"No can sleep," Rachel explained. "An Geg no can sleep."
"And what's that called?" House prompted.
"Nsomia," Rachel piped up.
House grinned at Wilson, who smiled back.
"I was right," Wilson said, ruffling House's hair.
"No you weren't," House contradicted, dodging his hand. "At some point I'd lose my patience."
"All parents lose their patience sometimes," Wilson pointed out.
"We're not having a baby, Wilson."
Wilson grinned. "I know. I'm just saying..."
"Geg call Mamma," Rachel announced.
Both doctors looked at her, Wilson astonished, House somewhere between amused and betrayed. Wilson turned to him. "You called Cuddy? Why?"
"Nothing," House said quickly, avoiding his eye. "Just..."
"I crying," Rachel explained. "I crying, Geg call Mamma, I no crying."
Wilson beamed at House, who refused to look at him. "Greg, that was such a nice thing to do."
House looked at Rachel. "Traitor. You weren't supposed to tell."
Rachel just smiled and yawned.
Wilson was staring at House like he'd never seen anything quite like him. House, annoyed with the positive attention, leaned over and kissed him quickly to get him to shut up.
Rachel stared at House. "You kiss him?" she asked. "Why you kiss him?"
"Because he has a nice ass," House smirked.
Wilson chuckled. He picked Rachel up and turned her toward him. "He kissed me because he loves me."
"He love you?"
Wilson nodded. "He loves me very much."
"Wilson, stop, you're getting sap all over the baby."
Rachel giggled. "I no baby!" Then she yawned again.
"The no-baby is sleepy," Wilson said, holding her and standing up. "I'm going to put her back to bed."
"No can sleep," Rachel contradicted groggily. "Nsomia."
"Let's give it another try anyway," Wilson suggested, taking her back to her bedroom.
[]
Wilson pushed Rachel in her stroller down the aisles of the department store while House followed.
"How'd you talk me into this again?" the older man asked, making eye contact with anyone who tried to stare at them until they looked away.
"The same way I talked Rachel into it. If both of you behave, I'll buy you ice cream."
"Ah, bribery. So wrong and yet so effective."
"So it is."
"We get iscweam now?" Rachel asked hopefully from her stroller.
"After we finish here," Wilson clarified, turning down an aisle toward the bedding department. "First we need to buy a new set of sheets for your mamma."
"Seriously, Wilson," House said, rolling his eyes. "You could just throw them in the wash."
"No, I can't. She's getting new ones. She's never finding out about this."
"Unless Rachel squeals," House pointed out.
Wilson smirked. "Well, that's why I'm getting her the new sheets, so even if she does believe you when you tell her, at least...you know."
He pushed Rachel's stroller down the aisle containing white sheets while House waited, looking bored.
"House?" a female voice asked, and House turned his head and grimaced when he saw a woman with curly black hair approach him.
"Bonnie," he said. "What a coincidence. Well I'm sure you're in a hurry and I wouldn't want to keep you from your shopping."
"Oh, not at all," she said. "Are you still seeing a lot of James? How is he?"
Bonnie's question was answered for her when the man himself came down the aisle, a set of bedsheets in one hand and pushing a stroller in the other.
"Oh..." Bonnie said, looking from House to Wilson and Rachel and back again. "Oh..."
"Bonnie!" Wilson exclaimed, stopping short. "Ah, what a coincidence...seeing you here."
"Yeah," Bonnie agreed, trying to pretend the moment wasn't half as awkward as it was. "I saw House and was just asking him about you, but I didn't realise...wow, has it really been that long?"
"Oh," Wilson said, blushing and looking down at Rachel. "She's not...we didn't...I mean, we are, but that's not...she's not...we're babysitting," he blurted out finally while both his ex lover and current lover stared at him.
"Okay," Bonnie nodded, looking from Wilson to House and back again. "Great. Well, good luck with everything. Nice seeing you again James...House..." and she scampered off.
"You were right about him," House called after her, and she gave a quick look back before disappearing.
Wilson sighed and House gave him a bemused look.
"What was that about?"
"I don't know. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. I mean, two men walking around with a toddler in a stroller..."
"Wilson, you had to bribe me into coming with you. And Rachel's not ours, but we are together."
"I know," Wilson said quickly. "And I told her that...sort of."
"Yes, you made it very clear," House scoffed. "How hard is it to say, 'Greg and I are together now. Rachel's not ours, we're babysitting her.'?"
"I don't know."
House shrugged. "I guess it's kind of weird, she's your ex wife and all. Did you not want her to know? You didn't seem to have a problem telling the whole hospital."
"You kissed me in front of the whole hospital," Wilson reminded him. "I didn't really have a choice."
"You could have not kissed back, pushed me away and called me a pervert."
Wilson chuckled. "No I couldn't. You're too good a kisser. But for what it's worth, no, I don't mind the hospital knowing."
"But you mind your exes knowing?" House probed. "You were kind of annoyed when I made out with you in front of Sam."
"No, I had to tell Sam," Wilson said. "I owed her that much for using her."
"Have you told Julie?"
"I haven't spoken to Julie since the divorce."
House looked at him for a minute. "Have you told your parents?"
Wilson didn't answer. He felt House's eyes on him, so he finally turned to look at him. "Have you told your mother?" he asked in return.
"She learned years ago to stop asking if I'm seeing anyone."
"Okay, so don't try and make me feel guilty about not telling mine either."
"I wasn't trying to make you feel guilty; I was asking. I was curious."
"I will tell them," Wilson said. "When...I'm ready."
"Okay," House agreed. He and Rachel both watched Wilson. "Kiss me," House requested.
Wilson looked at him like he'd just asked him to set the bedding department on fire. "What?"
"Kiss me," House repeated. "Right here, right now."
"We're in the middle of a department store!"
"Exactly," House said. "And we're both men. And people will notice. And that matters to you."
"It's...rude to kiss in public," Wilson deflected, looking away. "Whether it's a man and a woman or two men."
"If you were still married to Bonnie and she asked you to kiss her, you'd do it," House said.
"That's ridiculous," Wilson disagreed. "I'll kiss you when we get back to Cuddy's, House, or even in the car if you want, but not here."
House sighed and turned away. Wilson resumed pushing Rachel's stroller down the aisle as they made their way to the registers.
"Why you no kiss Geg?" Rachel asked him. "You no love him?"
House smirked. "Yeah, Wilson. You no love me?"
"You know I do."
"Well?"
Wilson sighed. "If it will get the both of you to cut it out, fine." He let go of the stroller and gave House a quick peck on the lips.
House rolled his eyes. "That's the kind of kiss Cuddy gives to Rachel. Come on, Wilson, you're my boyfriend, not my mother."
"People are already staring at us," Wilson murmured under his breath.
"Yeah, and their opinions matter more to you than me."
"Greg, that's not fair!"
"It's fair and it's true."
"You know what, fine, okay?" Wilson let go of Rachel's stroller for the second time in two minutes and wrapped his arms around House's waist, kissing him deeply while the diagnostician kissed back. He spent a moment kissing before pulling away. "There," he said, looking House in the eyes, "are you satisfied?"
"I think so," House said, smirking. "Now let's get going, you promised us ice cream."
"And House," Wilson added, not looking at him as he started pushing Rachel again.
"What?"
"I am going to tell my parents."
"Okay, Jimmy."
[]
House sat on Wilson's couch, watching him. The oncologist took a deep breath and picked up the phone. He started to dial, but was interrupted by a shout from next door.
"Do you any of you know were House is?" Cuddy's voice came clearly through the wall between the offices.
The answer was indistinct, but Cuddy's reply was not. "Because I'm sure he's the only one who'll know why my two-year-old daughter complimented my ass!"
House grinned at Wilson, who chuckled back. Then he picked up the phone.