Face It

Kisses

She was fifteen when a boy first tried to kiss her. He ended up with a dislocated jaw. Shepard had felt guilty, of course, but it wasn't really her fault. The boy should have made his intentions clear. Plus, she hadn't even known the guy. She figured it was for some kind of dare. It didn't matter. No one was going to try and kiss her again, and that was a good thing. Times like that were awkward and she didn't want to worry about it.

After she joined the military, she didn't really need to worry about things like that. She was always busy, always on the move, so no time for a relationship. No time to worry about that. Shepard was content being a lifer in the navy. It was fulfilling, and things usually worked out at the end of the day. She wasn't the one who had to deal with loose ends if the mission didn't go as planned. She was just a gun.

Then, she'd met Kaiden Alenko. Strong biotic, good soldier. He cared about her, that much was for sure. She could see it when he looked at her, the strange way his eyes burned when looking at anything that threatened her. He had passion, and he made her feel all warm inside. When they'd been grounded, he purposely pulled her too hard so she would be close to him. That had been the first time she'd ever wanted to kiss someone. If Joker hadn't interrupted...

But later on that week, while en route to Ilos, he'd come to her cabin. She wasn't sure what was going through her mind at the time. She was his Commander, his superior. She couldn't turn him away then. She'd only been that scared once in her life. The mission should have came first, but right then, she belonged to Kaiden. There had been no regrets.

…

Waking up alone had been horrible. When someone finally started answering her questions, she asked about him. Where he was, what he was doing. The Illusive Man, for all his power, could tell her next to nothing about her former crew. Former. She couldn't believe she'd started thinking of all of them that way, but she couldn't help it. She didn't even have a crew now.

Three months later, she had a new name for hell. Horizon. Shepard was glad she always had her Commander face to fall back on. Her heart was breaking the whole time he was there. She shouldn't have expected things could be so easy- two years was a long time. She wasn't angry at him, at least, not really. She expected him to at least hear her out, but were the situations reversed... she wasn't sure she would have done the same. When she got back, she realized she couldn't even remember his kisses.

It must not've been worth all the hurt.

A/N:

Okay, huge oversight back in 'Blame'. I was checking through and I had accidentally put Akuze as Shepard's back ground. It's not- at least not this time around. So, ah.. I fixed it, mostly. Just added, like, a sentence, but it changes everything. (Amazing, right?)

Been trying to avoid the cliche in all of the letters, but this one I couldn't resist. It was going to be Kaiden, but I don't like him anymore, so... xD