Chapter 28: Are we Human or are we Ninja?

A/N: *Deep breath* First off I apologize for the long wait in between chapters. There are many things I could say about why I have not updated in such a long time. One I have been getting ready to apply to colleges and attempting to keep my grades strong in the last stretch of junior year. A few other issues kept me from writing as well and one of those is the amount of work I have had to do in English that has left me so tired of writing. Finally I have been depressed the past two months and I did not want that to affect the story. Its best to leave personal emotion out of a story. These excuses are simply to help you as the readers understand why I have seemingly given up this story. However, I haven't given up, I have an ending planned and I truly do love this story. Everyone my thanks goes to all of you for staying loyal and and continuing to read and review every chapter giving me feedback and encouragement. Again I'm sorry about the long wait and I feel incredibly guilty especially after I got some reviews questioning why updating is taking so long.

In other news I can no longer watch Naruto episodes because they are awful. However the manga has reached a new level of awesome and everyone should read them. This chapter is brought to you by 3 Days Grace.

Chapter 28-

Naruto was cold. He was also tired, hurt, and confused. On the ground in front of him Itachi lay dead waiting patiently to be buried. But there was no way he was giving Sasuke to the members of Team Hawk so Itachi would have to wait a little longer. When the girl of Team Hawk rushed to Sasuke's side Naruto intervened and stood in between Sasuke and her. Still soaked Naruto shook his head letting water fly off his hair.

He almost failed to recognize his voice as he spoke,"Get out of here. If you are really friends of Sasuke I won't kill you. That is if you leave now."

The girl flinched. Who does the guy think he is standing in between me and my beloved Sasuke-kun?She wanted to kick his ass, but she had the feeling even in his weakened state Naruto could kill her without thinking about it. She turned Suigetsu was still fighting Kisame but the fight was not going well for him. Jugo appeared at Karin's side as she turned to look for him.

"Give Sasuke to me." Jugo demanded. "I have to have him. He keeps me sane."

Naruto stood his ground not impressed by the bigger ninjas confident manner. "You can come with us but I am taking him back to Konoha to be put into custody." He picked Sasuke up and put the unconscious teenager over his shoulder. Jugo and Karin attacked at the same time but Naruto had expected that much and jumped back landing a few yards in front of Heiri. "You're leaving guys." Naruto ordered creating a shadow clone to carry Sasuke. "I'm going to bury Itachi."

Jugo was starting to lose himself. Karin was about to panic. Sasuke kept the group together without him their team could break apart at any time and Karin knew if they could not rescue Sasuke here and now they were screwed. "Suigetsu get your ass over here we have a problem."

Kisame slammed Samehada into Suigetsu's sword knocking the kid back. "Looks like your friends need you punk. Get out of my face."

Then walking over to Naruto ignoring Team Hawk, Kisame put his hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Kid... Take care of Itachi. He was a better partner than I could have hoped for especially with all the psychopaths in my organization. You did all right, hopefully we don't meet again... because if we do I'll kill you" Kisame grinned, "But I have a feeling ou won't be that lucky so until then don't die. Akastsuki needs you and apparently so does Orochimaru."

Naruto nodded astonished, he had not suspected such a gesture from an Akatuski member. Itachi was a mediator, Naruto could see that now. He was one of the gods' mistakes a contradiction in his existence. Itachi was a natural born killer cunning, strong, talented, merciless. Yet he strove to do only what would protect those he cared for. He would take any pain to stop another from having to bear it. He was a saint and he was a reaper.

Naruto and Kisame shook hands. It was astonishing to see what had been accomplished. Kisame and Naruto should hate each other; their destined roles demanded it, their positions demanded it, their affiliations demanded it.

Still they offered a moment of silence for Itachi, they offered him their respect and parted ways. Kisame walked off and did not look back.

Akatsuki and Konoha had both valued Itachi. So even they couldn't hate the other completely, they were not completely different. The concept puzzled Naruto and he was only brought back to reality when Suigetsu charged him. In a second he was being assaulted by Team Hawk.

Normally three ninjas of the caliber he was fighting wouldn't have been much of a problem, but he was not at the top of his game and what the team lacked in individual skill they made up for by complementing each other's abilities.

"Back off." Naruto demanded as he placed his palm on Jugo's back applying chakra and slicing open his back. Had Naruto wanted to he could have sliced Jugo in half but he remained true to his word he wouldn't kill them. Naruto ducked under Suigetsu's sword and slammed his hand into Suigetsu's forehead but on impact Suigetsu's solid form morphed into a liquid one.

The force of Naruto's punch couldn't be stopped and the blonde topled over. He rolled over and jumped up twisting in midair, using the mistake to evaluate his position. Crap. Naruto thought as he saw Karin had almost finished healing Jugo.

He was sick of fighting. It was all he ever did it was what he had wanted to do. But without a reason his fights were beginning to seem less and less meaningful and this was only one example. Bringing out the scroll concealing his fan he applied the necessary chakra and began a relentless combination of wind jutsus to inflict as much pain and damage on Team Hawk as he could without actually killing them.

Naruto half succeeded. By the time he was done they were still alive but they had avoided serious damage and their determination was unwavering.

"You bastard once I kill you I'm going to use your body as a practice dummy for my sword." Suigetsu growled. Karin for once didn't have anything bad to say about her comrade's words she wished to do the exact same thing.

"You think you've got problems?" Naruto asked. "I can't kill you and you won't fucking leave me alone. What am I supposed to do?"

"Let my blade taste your blood."

Naruto was at the breaking point he was going to leave regardless if they would pursue him or not. He was about to leave when a familiar horrible face emerged from one of the intact caves. The face of a sadist, the face of an enemy, Kabuto. With a wry smile he came up from behind Karin and let everyone's attention turn to him. Karin frowned as did Suigetsu, Jugo merely averted his eyes. All of them had been at least once before the test subject in Kabuto's care and like Naruto none had fond memories.

"What do you want Kabuto?" Suigetsu snarled, ready to attack. He was itching to let Kabuto experience the pain he had felt during his 'subject test'.

Kabuto appeared to not notice the hostile feelings of those he had come to see. "Patience children. I come offering you an oppertunity to save our precious Sasuke."

Karin felt her heart stop and Jugo let his eyes meet Kabuto's. "How?" Karin asked quickly and then changing her tone, "Why would you want to help Sasuke? He killed Orochimaru."

"Perhaps it would be better that I not explain how in front of our good friend Naruto." When he got no response Kabuto shrugged smirking maliciously, "Very well then I'll let Naruto finish you. I can always find someone else to help me."

Kabuto turned around but before he took a step Jugo spoke up, "We'll follow you." Jugo did not bother to make sure Suigetsu and Karin would follow him he knew they would.

Kabuto feigned surprise, "Very good. Now then say good bye to Naruto we will be seeing him very shortly. Very shortly indeed."

Naruto felt his blood boil at the thought of Kabuto stepping foot in his village. Before he could realize he had done in it his hand had reached into his vest and grabbed a shuriken and then with only a flick launched it at Kabuto. "If I ever even suspect you in my village I will hunt you down and make you wish Orochimaru had used you for some twisted experiment."

Kabuto kept his face molded into an expression of unmatched satisfaction until he was sure Naruto could not see him. He had attempted to duck under the shuriken but Naruto had predicted his motion and the metal projectile had dug itself into his back under his left shoulder blade. Kabuto was more amused than angry yet he had to admit Naruto was now stronger than him even without the Kyuubi. Well Naruto the true test of our strengths will soon be decided and I fear that you will be more of a dissapointment than a true challange.

Konoha was in an uproar when Naruto returned home. Someone had apparently leaked that Sasuke was apprehended and even civilians were arguing over what was to be done with the Uchiha heir. Things never calmed down. Not for a ninja. Naruto did not go straight down visit Ibiki who he knew would already be dealing with Sasuke, he wasn't ready. The house looked the same when he opened the front door, hardly used, void of much furniture. Sometimes he wondered why they even kept the house.

Naruto took two steps in and he felt angry. God damn Itachi why did you have to die? He grabbed his head as if he could squeeze out the thoughts he was having. He felt his body begin to shake as he walked up the stairs to his room. By the time he had got into his room he was losing it. "FUCK!" Naruto screamed. He slammed his fist into the wall and it completely collapsed revealing the dark of the night.

"Fuck, I need to get out of here." Naruto stepped over the crumbled wall and let himself drop into his backyard. He walked into the woods behind his house until he could no longer see his house or any other building. He was going to where his clone had buried Itachi. Naruto had had to bury Itachi because it still had not been revealed to the public that Itachi was an insideman- and Naruto knew that the information would never be revealed. His brother was just another unhonored sacrifice. Itachi was not the hero he should have been. He was deemed a traitor even though their had never been a ninja more loyal to his country. Naruto sat down and closed his eyes he wanted it to be known that Itachi was a great person not only a powerful ninja.

But we aren't people we are ninja. We aren't judged by our treatment of others, or how hard we work, we're judged through statistics. How many missions completed, mission ratings, knowlege of techniques, and abilities. We're not people.

Naruto's anger was not subsiding in fact it was growing every second. He couldn't understand why he didn't feel things anymore. "Itachi I tried to save you, I wanted to, I wish.. I wish I was stronger strong enough so I didn't have to lose you. I wish I didn't have to lose Sasuke. I've had to let myself surrender most of my emotion because as a ninja if I didn't I wouldn't be able to take the pain of loss that being a ninja entails. All ANBU are taught the same thing but I want to feel. I want to feel emotion besides anger, frustration, and hate. I want to be human. I felt so guilty that I watched you die and felt nothing. Nothing but frustration. Itachi I loved you I just want you to know that."

"Maybe its not that you want Itachi to beleive you. Maybe its that you want to beleive yourself."

Naruto looked up and saw his dad standing in front of a huge tree rubbing his hand along his huge width. "Dad what are you doing out here?" Naruto asked his surprise clearly visible.

"Well Heiri and the others said you'd be back around now so I left Jiraiya at the office to manage things and came to get you."

Naruto hesitated before responding, "I don't want to go back. And how did you know where I was?"

Minato laughed, "Naruto you should still remember that I have the Sandaime's crystal ball and while I don't use it very often I do use it."

Naruto sighed. "Dad... Itachi... He's dead. I couldn't save him."

"You know Naruto. I don't think you were ever meant to save him. Itachi knew how dangerous his mission was from the begining. It was a suicide mission and I'm not proud that I asked him to go through with it. I'm not proud of a lot of things I've done as Hokage." Minato sat down next to Naruto and put his arm around his son's shoulder. "I wish I could have changed many things since you were born. I haven't had the time to raise you as I wish I could have and now I have no time left. Your almost an adult and it will soon fall on your shoulders to lead this nation whether you become Hokage or not."

Naruto felt the statements weight fall on him. It was cumbersome to think about. "What if I don't want to Dad? What if I don't think I can?" Naruto took a deep breath. "I don't think I can become strong enough to protect everyone without losing my humanity. I feel the effects of it already. I mean my emotions are so dull compared to what they used to me. I move in a sort of fog."

Smiling sadly Minato put his hand on Naruto's head. "What your body is doing is adapting to become a stronger shinobi. By dulling your emotions you limit hesitation by getting rid of distractions. The ANBU teaches its members to sacrifice their emotion because if they don't they often go insane or become depressed, many become suicidal. Members of ANBU sacrifice themselves to protect their country. The irony of it is so many ANBU members retire having forgotten why they ever joined the service."

"Were you ever in ANBU dad?"

"No. I never was."

Naruto didn't want to know the answer but he asked his question anyway, "Why not?"

Minato smiled innocently. "Everyone has different skills Naruto and those skills determine where we can be most productive in our society. As soon as I was able to I took on a genin team I was afraid of the alternative and I loved kids. I don't think I would have done very well in ANBU anyway. Ibiki is of the same opinion is he not?"

Naruto thought back to his class with Ibiki. "Yeah, but he likes you more than he thinks he does. He doesn't think you do everything you can to protect Konoha."

"Ibiki has a different view of protection than I do and whose to say he's wrong? I refuse to become cruel to protect Konoha and I think thats why Ibiki doesn't like me. The Sandaime was different. He was kind but he was also terrifying some of the stories about him would make you question if you ever truly knew him. He was dedicated to protecting this country through any means necessary. People have different ethics and the values held by people determine their character. That is why I can say their is no person more trustworthy in this village than Ibiki. His values of loyalty to the country are as strong as Lee and Gai's are to hard work."

Minato grabbed Naruto's hair gently affectionately. "Naruto-. Naruto as a ninja it is almost a given we are going to lose our friends and our loved ones so the civilians of the world don't have to. My father once told me a story about a young man whose family was greatly indebted to the man who the boy's family leased land from. The landlord was going to kick the family off the land until the boy made a deal with the landlord to exchange ten years of servitude to the lord to let his family keep the land. The boy left the farm and was sent to work for the landlord's brother in a distant country. After a year of working in the Noble's fields the young man was forced to become an assassin and kill off political enemies. The next nine years proved trying to the young man who sacrificed his values and ten years of his life for his family. The lord ordered him to do many evil things but as promised at the ends of the ten years the boy was allowed to go back to his family. After a long jouney the man arrived to his home and found his family. His family had over the last ten years had become prosperous and no longer lived the impoverished life they had once. When the family found out about the evils that the now grownup boy had committed under the noble he was disowned and sent away never to visit his family again."

An old silence was present one that had been present under the same circumstances of earlier generations where the same sadness was passed on the same irony still deliberately kept alive in the hopes that one day it might be prevented. And like all silences it was broken, broken by generation that strove to acheive the goals of their ancestors of the past generations of those who experienced the original sadness. "Who was he, dad?" Naruto asked feeling he already knew the answer.

"He was the original ninja Naruto. He was the one who discovered chakra."

The insides of Naruto twisted and he felt betrayed. "As ninja its our job to protect the village, but all we ever end up doing is protecting the village from other ninja. Ninja killing civilians ninja killing ninja. Without ninja how many less people would die? Itachi wouldn't have had to die. Maybe m..." Naruto stopped his himself from continuing.

"Naruto, evil is not bound to violence it is bound to the greed of men. With or without ninja people will be killed but some of us in the world have to stand up to evil to try and prevent it and that is why ninja are created. However as we rise to face that evil it can envelop us and strip us of our humanity. No one is born evil they are made so by the sins of this world. That is why we must learn to be forgiving and merciful, because if we can not learn to master ourselves we as ninja should not interfere with the world. As hard as it is to believe Orochimaru has not always been evil and like him all Konoha's enemies were made evil through their encounters with the cruelties of this world."

Minato sighed. "I didn't even answer you question did I." He chuckled softly as Naruto shook his head. "Naruto people are greedy and some because of what has happened to them in their lives become criminals. People will become criminals regardless of whether ninja exist or not. Itachi could not hav been saved he was sick. You need to focus on all the people you can still save. There is a world you can still protect. While loss can not help but impact us you can not let it control you or slow you in your efforts to continue protecting the things you love."

Minato stood up and walked over to the huge oak tree that he had been admiring earlier. "Things can be destroyed Naruto but they can also be rebuilt. Itachi would not want you to grieve over him. He sacrificed his whole clan to protect something arguablly more important. He lost his mother and his father and then set out to protect our village by sacrificing himself. He often came to visit me after he left the village and while he lived a life of sacrifice he refused to let his burdens weigh him down instead he became stronger to meet the new weight."

Naruto felt more depressed than before. I'm pathetic. Compared to Itachi I've experienced nothing. I'll just have to work harder. I might not understand everything yet but I should at least become as strong as I can until I make a decision.

Minato watched his son who struggled to understand everything that had been said. He's young. Minato thought. And wisdom is a precious thing not so easily attained regardless of experience. Naruto will understand when he's older. But if he reacts this way to Itachi's death how will he react when he discovers that sealed within him is the Kyuubi?

"Naruto you know I love you whatever you decided to do. But I also beleive that you are just experiencing a frustration all ninja experience at one point in their lives. I know you'll make the right decision what ever it may be."

Minato began the trek back to his office where he knew a horde of people would be waiting for him.

"Hey dad?" Naruto called suddenly standing up. "Why did you never try to distance yourself from your emotions? By the ANBU's reasoning you should have gone insane."

"Our emotions make us human Naruto without them we are nothing. But like you said emotion can drive you insane. The reason I did not need to become hardened to this would because like Jiraiya I learned acceptance and humility. If you accept what happens to you and move on you can forgive yourself of your failings. It is how we can survive without become savages."