Face It

Nostalgia

"Nostalgia is a seductive liar."

It'd been a while since she was on the Citadel. But for good reasons. The people here didn't trust her. The Council lived here. There was very little reason for actually being on the Citadel, except her crew. Thane and Garrus were the only people she would bother with. Everyone deserved peace before they went off on another suicide mission. She was just lucky she didn't have anything like that.

She stopped by Bailey to ask about both Kolyat and Fade. She looked over at both of them.

"Fade isn't going anywhere. But Kolyat might be doing something-"

"I understand." Garrus said. He was barely looking at her, or anywhere near people. It was more or less the ceiling he watched so closely. It made Shepard worried about the expression he was trying to hide.

…

All by herself, she was walking trying to figure out what went wrong. To be honest, she never had intentions to let Garrus kill Sidonis. It had been pretty much the same with Dr. Saleon, right? She wasn't sure what Garrus had thought about it- except that he still wouldn't talk about it. It'd only been a few hours.

From across the way, she could see a young couple purchasing food. She wasn't sure what it was, but something about them seemed familiar. She watched them for a few moments. The young man pulled out the chair for the woman, he laughed, she laughed. The man retrieved the food, placed it on the table and they went about eating lunch.

"Are you alone, Siha?"

She looked up to see Thane waiting for the OK to sit next to her. She motioned that it was okay. He sat next to her and folded his hands.

"Any progress?" She asked awkwardly.

"It will take time." He said in his gravelly voice.

She nodded, waiting for him to say something. He usually had something interesting to say, if not observations. He was good about things like that.

"Do you know the young couple across the court?"

"Mm. No, I don't. They just seemed familiar."

Thane watched her.

"I think it reminded me of, ah..." she cleared her throat and stopped herself. It wasn't important.

No matter how much it reminded her of Kaiden, she didn't need to bring that up. It was the past, and though it hadn't been long, she needed to move on. He clearly had.

Still, she supposed she was lucky. She could twist her memories, add music if she wanted. Thane wasn't so lucky. He could very easily slip into old memories, have to relive the feelings. With a small shake of her head, she barely stopped herself from saying how sorry she was. He was cursed with never having to forget. Even when he was out of the memory, he had to deal with the sadness it brought. She wasn't sure she could handle that.

"Siha, we should go. It is becoming late."

She smiled at him, pulling herself out of her inner monologue. They walked quietly, both silently walking through memories. One trying not to get pulled in, the other just trying to escape.

Even so, Shepard could remember the good times, even seeing Kaiden on Horizon had been a blessing. She had hoped, sure, but she'd never really expected to see him again. It was difficult to be angry with him while remembering all the smiles. It was making things harder to deal with.

Stupidnogoodboiticwhocan'...