Chapter II
His Big Mouth
Ed narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
Roy leaned back in his chair.
Ed crossed his arms.
Roy raised his eyebrow.
Ed started tapping his fingers.
Roy sighed heavily.
"Just sign the god damn contract…" Roy said for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past hour.
"I just don't know…" Ed said, all the time debating in his head. "How much would I get a week again…?"
Roy closed his eyes, looking for some extra patience. It just had to be there somewhere.
"A thousand dollars." He said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. The kid was either really stupid or really clever. They had started at five hundred, so Roy supposed it was the latter. "One thousand dollars for one week. And it's certainly gonna last more than a week. I'd say you'll earn about… ten thousand in total." He added. "Plus half of whatever I earn later."
"Hmm…" Ed wondered again, observing Roy closely.
"Look!" Roy said, getting tired of the conversation. "I'm seriously offering you a chance to get p r e t t y wealthy here. What's the problem?" He asked, raising his hands questioningly.
"I'm not sure Ok?" Ed said, finally losing his composure. "I don't know you for starters! I don't know what exactly is in that damn contract of yours! And I most certainly don't know who in their right mind would pay someone a thousand dollars per week just to be able to observe them!"
"You do know me, I'm Roy Mustang, you can Google it if you want!" Roy said his brow twitching. "The only reason for contract is so you don't walk out on me with money when I'm still not done! And I would pay someone a thousand dollars a week just to observe them so I can write a book about them and earn so much more in the end!"
Ed fell silent. Everything told him to do it. How often do you stumble on a chance like that anyway? Plus he sure could use some extra money. However it was slightly weird no matter how you look at it…
"I'm not going to be your sex slave." Ed finally said out of blue.
"What?" Roy looked at the boy ridiculously. "There's nothing about sex in there, god damn it. And besides," He added. "I could get that for much less money than what I'm going to pay you…"
"Eww!" Ed exclaimed, his face scrunching up in disgust. "You don't pay for sex do you?"
"Oh there was that one time…" Roy said with a dreamy expression. Ed's mouth fell open. "I'm kidding DAMN IT!" Roy screamed, surprised Ed actually fell for that. "Look at me! Do you honestly think someone that looks like this has to pay for sex?"
"Well…" Ed made a thoughtful expression.
"Oi shrimp!" Roy screamed once again. The kid had some serious nerve… He liked that.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING—"Ed started his rant, but didn't have a chance to finish as Roy's hand was plastered over his mouth. The brunet sighed yet again, massaging his temple.
"Take it or leave it." He said, his black eyes looking piercingly into Ed's. He was pretty sure Edward had made his choice.
Ed glared a Roy, his mouth still covered by the elder man's large hand. Pushing it away with an angry gesture, he crossed his arms once again.
"Fine!" The blond said loudly, grabbed a pen and signed the contract. Roy smirked, getting back in his chair comfortably. "There. So...how do we go about this? You give some interview? I tell you some teary stories from my childhood? You follow me around some more while I pretend you're not there?"
"Those are all fine ideas Edward." Roy said, his face smug. "But there's a better way to do this."
"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Ed looked at him skeptically.
"Well…" Roy started. Ed narrowed his eyes. The brunet looked too damn smug for his tastes… "I do follow you around…and you do tell me stories… Except I'm going to have to move in with you, you know, just to make it more…real." Ed's jaw fell open, his eyes wide. "Oh and yes, that is in your contract, in case you're wondering."
"Will you be opening the door anytime soon? I need to use the toilet…" Roy said, standing in front of the Ed's apartment, bag in his hand. Ed glared at him. "Oh come on!"
"I hate you!" Ed yelled, again, before he opened the door, letting the brunet inside.
Taking a step forward Roy found himself in a rather small, but – he had to admit - pretty cozy apartment.
"Here's the living room, yes that's where you're going to sleep." Ed said, smirking at the look Roy just gave him. "There's the kitchen." Ed continued, pointing to the left. "Then the first door on the left – that's my bedroom." Ed looked closely at the brunet. "Mine."Roy had to roll his eyes. "Then, in front of you is another bedroom and next to it – a bathroom."
"How come I don't get to sleep in the other bedroom?" Roy asked.
"Because…" Just then the door to the second bedroom opened and a boy, looking so much like Ed, although his hair was short and slightly darker, walked into the main room. "That's where he's sleeping." Ed finished, heading to the kitchen.
"Who's he?" Roy asked, looking at the other boy curiously.
"That's Al." Ed said, grabbing something from the fridge.
"Who's Al?" Roy asked again, watching said boy raising his brow slightly.
"My brother." Ed answered, stuffing his mouth with ridiculously big sandwich and heading to the couch with a full plate. "Al meet bastard son of a bitch – Roy Mustang. Bastard son of a bitch, meet Alphonse Elric." he said, flopping on the couch and turning the TV on.
Al shoot his brother a disapproving look before looking again at Roy, smiling pleasantly and coming near the man with his hand stretched out.
"Hello, nice to meet you." He said with a friendly tone. Roy shook his hand, impressed by the boy's behavior. Such a mature person. Then he looked at Ed who was currently trying to lick some mayo off his nose. So unlike his brother…
"Hello." Roy answered.
"Please sit down." Al said, smiling pleasantly and pointing at the couch. When they were seated, Roy next to Ed and Al on the armchair, Al looked at the big black bag Roy left near the entrance. Following his gaze, Roy shook his head. Of course Ed didn't mention anything to his brother.
"Let me explain." Roy started and Al looked back at him, Ed still completely uninterested in the conversation. "As Edward already mentioned, I'm Roy Mustang—"
"Yes I know you!" Al exclaimed, throughout excited. "You're that writer, aren't you?"
"How come everybody knows you besides me…?" Ed grunted, chewing on his food, his eyes never leaving the TV.
"Look in the mirror and ask again…" Roy said, crossing his arms and smirking smugly.
"You bastard –" Ed screamed, turning into Roy's direction. "Oh wait…" He said, suddenly remembering something. Roy however tried to remove bits of tomato and cheese from his face. "I know why your name sounded familiar; Al has all your books!"
Roy glanced at the other Elric brother. He had this dangerous glint in his eye…
"Will you—"Al started and Roy smiled slightly.
"Yes I will." Roy said without waiting for Al to finish. Who knew that one brother would adore him and the other hate his guts…
Five signed books and three more sandwiches in Ed's stomach later, the three of them were… exactly where they were an hour before.
Only now Al was beaming because not only were all of his books signed, but as he just learned, his favorite author was going to be living with them for the next few months. Needless to say, he didn't mind it at all.
"I'm going to make a dinner, you want some too right?" Al asked, getting up and looking at Roy.
"Yeah, thanks." Roy said. He couldn't honestly remember when was the last time he ate something that was prepared at home.
Hearing Roy accept the offer, Ed turned away from the TV he was still watching and looked at the writer with narrowed eyes.
"Remember you're paying for your food yourself!" Ed said, pointing at him with a fork. "And water! And everything—"
"Ed!" Al scolded his brother from the kitchen, before going back to cooking. Ed scoffed giving Roy one more look and going back to watching Disney Channel.
Roy tilted his head slightly to the side. What happened to good old Lion King?
"So." Roy started shrugging his shoulders at the thought. "What exactly goes on in your daily life?" He asked, now watching the program as well.
"What do you mean what 'goes on'?" Ed asked, turning to Roy once again. "It's normal or course."
"I'm not sure every kid—"
"Kid?" Ed yelled.
"Teenager?" Roy tried.
"Teenager?"
"So exactly how old are you?" Roy asked. It's not like he really thought Ed was a teenager. He sure acted like one an awful lot though.
"I'm twenty!" Ed said, waving his hands fanatically in the air. "T w e n t y !"
"Sure…" Roy said and before Ed could explode again, he asked another question. "So are you two twins? You look so much alike."
"I'm nineteen." Al said from the kitchen. "I graduated last year and now I'm at the university."
"Oh. And what are you studying?" Roy asked, looking at the younger brother.
"Literature." He said, smiling at the older man. That explained a lot, Roy thought briefly.
"And what about you, shrimpy?" Roy asked, listening to another rant that followed right after. "So ?"
"Biochemistry." Ed finally answered, seeming to calm down a little. Roy raised his eyebrow.
"Interesting choice." He said, just before Al entered the room with plates in his hands. He gave one to Roy, one to Ed and went back to get his own. Roy was actually surprised that after eating five large sandwiches the blond was going to eat a whole plate of pasta as well. He sure was thin considering how much he ate…
"Ed's a prodigy." Al said sitting down with his plate. Roy looked at him curiously. "All the way through school he got the best grades without even trying."
"Al." Ed said, rolling his eyes. It was like one of those family dinners when your mother starts to tell all the embarrassing stories about you to the guests.
"But it's the truth!" Al exclaimed, obviously proud of his older brother. "Even now, on the university, he still manages to pull three shifts a week."
"So I take it you two manage on your own." Roy said, putting it in the best way he could. It was more than obvious that they had no support from their parents, whatever the reason was, he didn't feel he should bring that up just yet.
Boys fell silent for a moment and Roy could swear he saw Ed's fist tighten a little. Al must have noticed it too, since he answered hurriedly.
"Yes, we do." Then he got up. "I need to get going, I'm meeting with Winry. Ed why won't you clean this place a little, since Roy's going to stay here for some time?"
"Like hell I am!" Ed yelled, forgetting about the previous topic. "I'm not some god damn maid!"
"You would look good in a maid outfit though…" Roy said, his face thoughtful.
"What?" Ed yelled throwing some of his pasta at him. "You pervert!" Roy chuckled as Ed kept spiting at him with his food. Al smiled. He hadn't seen his brother so…alive for a long time.
After Al had left, Ed decided to take a shower. Of course then Roy had to argue with the blond that he wanted to take the shower first. He didn't really care who went first though.
So after he won and took a nice, long relaxing shower he went back to the room wearing his PJ which were a grey tracksuit trousers and a t-shirt, just to be decent. He usually slept in his boxers only. Or naked. Considering where he was however, Roy figured it wasn't the wisest thing to do.
"Finally!" Ed said, getting up. "I'll bill you for that." He said with a serious face expression and Roy only smirked.
"Whatever you say Edward." Roy said, looking around the room. "So where exactly am I suppose to sleep, huh?"
"On the floor obviously." Ed said, blinking innocently. Roy glared for a second before a mischievous look overtook his face.
"But I was really looking forward to sharing a bed with you…" Roy said in mock hurt.
"What?" Ed screamed. "You wish! Nobody shares with me! Not now not EVER!"
"Ever?" Roy raised his eyebrow and Ed shut up immediately, turning slightly red from embarrassment.
"Oh just shut up…" He murmured angrily, leaving quickly for the bathroom. Then he added without looking at the brunet. "The one we sat on, you'll have to spread it out." And with that he disappeared inside.
Roy wondered for a moment. Seriously?
Going to the couch Roy spread it out and after finding some fresh linen inside he made his bed. Grabbing his bag he took his laptop out and lay on the bed, spearing a glance at the TV every now and then.
Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Alejandro
I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe, Fernando
Roy's cell phone rang and he answered without looking away from what he was currently doing on his computer.
"Stop calling me Hughes." Roy said absent mindedly and hung up.
Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Alejandro
I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe, Fernando
"Stop calling me Hughes." Roy said, picking up the phone once again and hanging up a second later. Ever since he talked with Hawkeye, Maes was calling him every evening. And that was because, obviously, Roy never really answered his calls.
"Who was that?" Ed asked, getting out of the bathroom in a PJ's very much resembling Roy's. The brunet looked at him. His blond hair were loose, a towel dropped over his shoulders. Roy had to say, Ed did looked like a girl. A very good looking girl... He added as an afterthought.
"You look like a girl." Roy voiced his thought immediately, earning a glare in return. "That's it?" Roy asked, expecting the blond to throw a tantrum.
"It actually doesn't bother me…" Ed said, thinking about it for a second. "So, who was—"
Don't call my name
Don't call my name, Alejandro
I'm not your babe
I'm not your babe, Fernando
"Stop. Calling. Me. Hughes." Roy said, repeating the drill. "It was Hughes."
"No shit Sherlock." Ed said, looking at him cynically. "Who's that?"
"Why are you so interested?" Roy asked, arching his brow.
"Why shouldn't I be? You ask me all kinds of questions!" Ed said, sitting next to Roy on the bed and grabbing the remote nearby.
"Yeah but I actually pay you a lot of money to do that." Roy answered, leaning his back on the bed comfortably, just like Ed was.
"Fine, whatever." Ed said, rolling his eyes. Roy was silent for a moment.
"Hughes is my friend." The brunet finally said. Ed looked at him from the corner of his eye.
"And you always hung up when your friends call you?"
"Not always." Roy said, looking at the blond. "But usually." He added and Ed scoffed. It was so easy…
"You know." Roy started after observing Ed for a moment. "Those are awfully long trousers for someone so short."
"I'M NOT SHORT!" Ed screamed. "Just vertically challenged…"
Roy burst out laughing looking at the blonds' grumpy face. That was, like, the best line he had ever heard.
"Stop laughing you bastard!" Ed said angrily, crossing his arms. Of course Roy didn't listen. He couldn't stop even if he wanted to.
"Vertically challenged…." Roy said with great difficulty and laughed some more. Ed's brow twitched. Without thinking he threw himself on the brunet, pressing his hands to his mouth and shutting him up.
"Shut it you bastard!" Ed said once again, as Roy rolled over to his side and laughed some more. Ed lay across the man's waist, unknowingly straddling him, trying to reach the others mouth once again.
"You can't even reach from there!" Roy said, laughing even harder.
"That's because you're pushing me away with your feet, you bastard!" Ed yelled, finally giving up and deciding to wait for Roy to get over it.
A few minutes later Roy had finally stopped laughing. He was wiping a few tears that gathered in the corner of his eyes when he realized Ed was now lying with his head on his hip, his face turned to the TV.
"Ehem." Roy cleared his throat before continuing. "You do realize where your face is right? It's awfully close to my-"
"What?" Ed squeaked, sitting straight up. He honestly didn't realize that. There was this commercial on the TV and he wanted to see it so badly… "What's with you and those constant gay inquires?"
"Me?" Roy asked, both interested and amused. "It's you who always indicates something homosexual. What's with that anyway? Are you gay?"
"ME?" Ed yelled, becoming red all over his face. "No way in hell!"
Roy looked at him curiously. This was just too good.
"You are, aren't you?" The brunet asked, observing back of Ed's head.
"No!" Ed denied once again, still not looking at Roy.
At that moment the door was opened and Al came into view.
"Hey guys—"
"Al, is your brother gay?" Roy asked, his hands crossed and face smug. Ed turned around immediately planning on screaming something to his brother.
"Yes he is." Al said, not sounding surprised at the question at all.
"AL!" Ed yelled at his younger sibling.
"What? It's the truth and you accepted it a long time ago." Al said with a shrug of shoulders and headed to his room. "Anyway, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."
"Night." Roy answered, still looking at fuming Ed. "What's the big deal anyway?"
"It isn't a big deal!" Ed said, calming a little; though he was still blushing slightly. "I just barely know you!"
"So? It wasn't a problem when you were hugging my butt…" Roy said his face the epitome of deviancy.
"There was no butt hugging you jerk!" Ed said, effectively pointing his finger at the annoying man's ass. "It's not that nice anyway!"
"Oh r e a l l y?" Roy arched his brow. "Then why have you been staring at it since we met?"
Ed felt his jaw fall open.
"I did no such thing!" He said, thoroughly agitated.
"Mhmm, sure." Roy said, looking at the short closely. "You, my dear, were p r e t t y obvious from the beginning. And anyway, I myself swing both ways."
"You miserable—really ?" Ed asked honestly surprised. He always thought Roy was more of a womanizer type. "Aren't you one of those guys, you know, different girl every night and all that?"
"Of course I am. " Roy said proudly and Ed wondered briefly just what was he proud of. "I just don't swing the other way that often." He added in explanation.
"When exactly do you swing the other way then?" Ed said, pretty interested in the conversation they were having. Not that he would EVER admit that though.
When I'm serious about someone… Roy thought, but decided to say something entirely different.
"Why, are you interested?" He asked, sending the other male his best 'sexy smile'. "Maybe we could work something out if you asked nicely…"
"Idiot!" Ed yelled getting up on the bed and kicking the brunet. "Why do you always—"
He stopped in the middle of the sentence however; as he noticed something was wrong. Instead of his trademark smirk Roy held a serious grimace of pain on his face… and he was holding his leg very tightly with one of his hands.
"Damn it!" Ed cursed under his breath and dropped on the bed, observing Roy closely. "Are you okay? Roy? Hello?"
"Yeah…" The writer said, opening his eyes to look at Ed. "What the hell was that?" He asked, letting go of his leg and turning to lie on his back. He was going to have one hell of a bruise in the morning.
"I'm really sorry about that." Ed said, sighing heavily and running a hand through his hair. "I forget about it from time to time…" He added. Roy looked at his face closely. In whole three days he had known the boy he never saw him so…down.
"Forget about what?" Roy asked, his voice unusually gentle. Ed looked away and sighed in resignation. No point in hiding it anyway.
Pulling his legs up so Roy could see, he lifted the left leg of his trousers a little.
Roy blinked.
"Automail?" He asked taken aback slightly, sitting up and looking at it more closely. "What…what happened?"
Ed was silent for a minute, thinking about something unknown to the other.
"An accident." He said, his face surprisingly blank. "Long time ago, doesn't matter anymore." Then he got up, his face back to normal. "Sorry once again Roy Boy, but you asked for that!"
Roy decided to play along.
"You know where to find me if you change your mind," He said with a wink. "About that swinging thing..."
Ed made a face and stuck his tongue out at the elder male.
"Oh that's very mature." Roy said as Ed got up.
"Well I don't care." Ed said, jumping of the bed with a loud thud. "I have classes in the morning and so does Al, so you're going to be here all alone. Don't steal anything."
"Yeah, whatever." Roy rolled his eyes and got under his duvet. He was used to being alone all the time anyway. "Night shrimpy."
"Night bastard." Ed said and disappeared in his bedroom.
Roy looked at the door to the blond's bedroom. Just why did he feel like going after him?
End Chapter 2