Face It

Thirty...Two?

Shepard had never really liked birthdays. She didn't really understand why people went into such a big hissy fit. But this year was different. This year, she couldn't answer the age old question, no pun intended. Women were never honest about their age. Because they were ashamed. This year... this year Shepard wasn't sure she could even lie convincingly.

How old was she?

Her thirtieth birthday would have taken place about a month after she died. It'd been two years since then, right? But she wasn't, technically, alive during that time.

She supposed it was a moral question. Obviously, her 'soul' was still here. She could remember, she was the same. She hadn't change. She was still the sickeningly self righteous person she always was. So, she must have been somewhere. But that didn't really qualify as 'alive'. She had no memory of that time.

Asking Miranda was out of the question. That was embarrassing. "Hey, what age am I?" just didn't really have a good ring to it. That was just an awkward conversation waiting to happen. And, knowing Miranda, she would rub it all in with an accent.

The knock on her door was dismissed due to paper work.

…

"Shepard, if you don't answer this door, we're going to hack it." Tali threatened.

"What do you want?"

"You've been in your room all day! Come out and eat." Jack said. It surprised the Commander to hear her voice. She didn't think Jack would care all that much.

"Not hungry." She sighed.

"Fine." Within moments, the door was opening. Three people were standing outside.

Tali dragged Shepard into the elevator. It felt like mutiny, and Shepard was considering actually filing for it. Then she remembered, not a military ship. Even though she was sure Miranda would do something about this, it seemed rather pointless. She was fond of Jack and Tali.

"What is this all about?" Shepard received no answer. They wouldn't even meet her eyes.

When the door opened, Shepard got her answer. Her entire crew was in the mess, waiting for her expectantly. Among them, she could pick out a few of the skeleton crew she hadn't taken the time to get to know. Then she saw the gaudy banners, the cake...

They were throwing her a birthday party.

"Ah, gee. Thanks? I, ah..." She didn't know what to say. She couldn't tell them how much it bothered her.

They all let her through to the cake. Jack and Tali followed her to the center, where Garrus, Joker and Dr. Chakwas waited. Shepard began to count the number of candles.

Deciding it was a waste of time she gathered her wits and asked, "How many are there?"

A few people looked around. No one had the answer. At least, no one said anything.

"It was deemed practical to take the average of the time passed between the death and rebirth of Shepard-Commander. The average calculated to thirty-one point two five six-"

"Thanks, Legion." Shepard said, stopping the geth in its explanation.

Her friends all around her began singing, off key, sans tune, but it was enjoyable. It made things much simpler to know that she was thirty one today instead of a question mark around the age. At least she knew now. And she didn't have to ask Miranda.

…

"That was embarrassing." Shepard sighed.

"The lace they bought you, was it meant to be a joke?" Garrus asked, putting away more paper in a trash bag.

"For all you know, yes." Shepard said beneath her breath.

At the end of the party, when she'd opened Miranda's- of all people- gift, Shepard remembered another reason why she hated birthdays.

You had to say thank you for everything.

Whether you liked their jokes, or not.

Revenge was most definitely in order. Just a matter of when and where...

A/N:

Last one for now, I swear. I'll post the rest...later. Promise I won't make you read anymore for now.