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Where are we?
What the hell is going on?
The dust has only just begun to fall,
Crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling.
Spin me round again and rub my eyes.
This can't be happening.

Hide and Seek~Imogen Heap

BPOV

"Bella!"

"Oh My God! What the hell do you want Alice? Can't a girl get some sleep?" I threw my pillow over my head in an effort to muffle out the banging on my door and the screeching of my name. What the hell she was doing up so early on a Friday was beyond me.

"COME ON BELLA! Get up and get ready, we have to go!!"

I muttered through my pillow. "My get up and go, got up and left..."

"Fine then, I warned you; I'm coming in," she said through the door in her no-nonsense voice.

"Okay, okay!" I scrambled out from under the sheets and sat up in bed, "I'm up Alice. No need to follow through with your threat. But I still don't understand why the hell you think we need to be out at the fair grounds at this ungodly hour when nothing starts until this afternoon. The early morning is making my brain hurt."

Alice cracked my door open and peeked her head in, "Aw, come on Bella, you used to get up early every morning and go into work... It's only 6AM. This should be a cake walk!"

I picked up my pillow off the bed and made an attempted throw at Alice's head. She stuck out her tongue at me and ducked the pillow.

"Come on Bella! I expected more enthusiasm out of you than this! This is a really big deal for Lunar Eclipse. We stand to get a lot of free publicity tonight, not to mention the fact that it will be the first real time that you have been out since your divorce was final three weeks ago. You need to shake things up a bit Bella, let your hair down, find a good looking man, get laid..."

"Oh Jesus Alice! I'm NOT looking to get laid!"

"What about Jake? He's a big beefy hunk of man. I bet he could take care of you." She grinned at me wiggling her eyebrows. "You know he has his eye on you Bella; it never hurts to take the car for a spin..."

"Alice! Jake is my friend, nothing more, and besides- eww that does not even sound-Gah it would totally fuck up our friendship, not to mention our working relationship."

Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I stood up and walked over to the closet opening the door and selecting clothes to wear for the festival. Fall was just coming to Seattle and the highs were usually in the 60's this time a year so I selected a pair of skinny jeans, a cream colored long sleeved button down v-neck cotton pullover and my black chucks. I was totally slumming it today.

"Oh come on, Bella, can't you dress with a tiny bit more class?"

I rolled my eyes, "The object is for me to be warm and comfortable Alice, not stylish and sexy. I could give a rat's ass about what anyone thinks of my chosen ensemble. Besides I'm only going to be hanging out with you guys and Jake the 'big beefy hunk of man'. Who's to impress?"

Alice lifted her eyebrows and gave me a sly smirk, "Ya know...Edward will be there..."

Guh, did she have to bring him up? I was trying to get him out of my head, not bring him back in it. Ever since the break-in 6 weeks ago, I had seen him at least once a week. The first time, he had a meeting with Rose to discuss the new blog we were starting up. Thankfully, I was in the middle of inventory or I would have had to sit in on the meeting as well. That would have been a sheer battle of personal restraint. Every week after he had either come by the house with Emmett or been by the bar for one reason or another. Thus far, I had been successful at avoiding him, but I knew it couldn't last forever.

Unfortunately, my desire for him was intensifying and I seriously needed to find a way to damp it down. I just did not want or need the complication of a relationship in my life right now, in any form, be it emotional, or purely sexual. I needed to focus on me: my career, what I wanted, who I was. I did not need to be indulging in unattainable relationships with beautiful men that made my knees weak and my insides quiver. Ugh Gah! STOP BELLA!!

"Sorry Alice, not interested. Now go away so I can get in the shower."

************

"Do you think this rain is going to hold off? Those clouds don't look too promising Rose."

We were all standing up on buckets trying very unsuccessfully to hang a large banner up across the front of the large booth we had rented to use for the Jam Fest. Angela and Mike were scheduled to arrive within the next half hour to make sure we were ready to go, and Emmett and Jasper were unloading beer and wine from the back of Emmett's truck while we waited on Jake to arrive so he could give Angela and Mike direction on how he wanted the booth run.

"Well the forecast called for scattered showers starting later this evening, I'm keeping my fingers crossed it just passes us over. But we are in Seattle after all, and you know how that goes. There's no telling, and get that thought out of your head Bella. Even if it does rain, you're staying."

"Ugh! That's not why I was asking, Rose. I left my rain jacket in the car. Just wondering if I should go get it..." I muttered under my breath

"By the way Bella, where is Jake? He's supposed to be helping Emmett and Jasper put up the tent."

"Why are you asking me? I know just as much as you do. He was supposed to be here a half an hour ago."

"Well he seems to have taken a liking to you Bella, I just figured...ya know..."

"Oh Lord, would you two please get those thoughts out of your head? Jake and I are JUST friends, that's all."

This conversation was getting really old; I was going to have to have a talk with Jake about his overly affectionate ways. Apparently what I considered brotherly affection was being misconstrued as something more. The last thing I needed were rumors flying around the bar about Jake and I. I mean, it was true that Jake and I had become rather close. We often went to lunch and hung out. I was just comfortable around Jake, he made me feel safe and he never once made advances towards me. He was a great friend when I needed a friend the most.

I pulled out my phone to call him; he really needed to get his ass here. This was a big night for Jake. He had really proven his worth at the bar and Rose had decided to give the responsibility of running the booth to him. He had been asking for months for a shot to prove himself and now was the opportunity. So where the hell was he? He was going to screw it up before he even got started. He should be the one here supervising the hanging of banners and making sure the stock was taken into the booth and counted before hand. This was not starting well.

I dialed his number and waited as it rang, three, four times and then it went to voice mail.

"Jake, Its Bella - I'm not sure where you are, but please get your ass here in a hurry. We've been here for over half an hour waiting on you, Rose has Jasper and Emmett unloading and we're hanging banners and well, basically setting everything up without you. I know you really wanted this shot and I would hate to see it all screwed up for you. Please- just hurry."

I pressed end on my blackberry and slipped it back in the sleeve and into my back pocket. Something just wasn't right. Jake was always on time, he was one of the most reliable people I knew.

"Rose, I left him a message. This isn't like him though; something has to be wrong. I'm really worried."

"I'm sure he'll call Bella; let's not get overly worried for now. Come on, we need to get the rest of this unloaded and set up before we run out of time. Angela and Mike will be here soon with their friends and the we'll have extra help."

************

Jam Fest was an annual three-day music festival held on the campus of Seattle Center, which was about a 74 acre park located in the lower Queen Anne neighborhood, at the north end of downtown. The Festival brought together more than 130 bands on four stages, and attracted crowds of about 150,000 visitors within the three-day period. The fact that Edward had been able to get us into one of the vendor booths on such short notice was nothing short of a miracle, and we all owed him big time, even though he said it was no big deal.

Rose was taking first shift with the booth since Jake had never arrived, and then Alice was trading off and I was taking last shift. I may just be office manager, but I still knew a thing or two about running a bar. Alice and Rose had taught me well. We were only serving beer and wine for the festival so tonight should be a cake walk.

"Alice, where are we going?"

"I want to go say hi to Edward and meet his co-host; he is supposed to be here with her. Do you ever listen to his show?"

"Oh, umm no, not usually. I keep my iPod on most of the time." I shrugged my shoulders and looked at her. She was giving me that look again. The one that said she knew I was full of shit. "Sorry, but I don't"

"Whatever, Bella. You can pretend all you want. At first I thought maybe it was because you were interested in Jake, but you made it pretty clear that was not the case. But the more I think about it, the more full of shit I think you are. I see a pattern here: ever since that night at the bar, you have been avoiding him like the plague. It's at a point now that it's extremely noticeable Bella. What gives? And don't tell me nothing again; I know well enough to sense when you're avoiding conversation."

"I- oh, fine Alice. I have to avoid him. He just stirs something up in me, and the more he is around, the worse it gets. I have NEVER had a man turn my insides out the way he does. All he has to do is just look at me Alice."

"Bella, that's not a bad thing-"

"Yes, it is, it's a horrible thing! I don't need that in my life right now. I just got my feet back on the ground and I'm free, I'm happy. I don't want to screw anything up or complicate things by bringing sex or lust or my lack of self-control into the equation. Things will calm down and get back to normal. Believe it or not, I really do like him and I think he would make a great friend. I just need to get to that point."

"Ha! You tell yourself that but let me tell you something missy. If you think it's just going to go away, you have another thing coming. I see the way you look at him and that's not the look of a woman getting over her lust of a man; that's hunger honey, plain and simple and the only way you're ever going to get rid of that, IF you ever do, is to take care of business. So, here is my advice to you: your body is obviously telling you something, so give into your needs for once and go get that man, see what he's all about and fuck the hell out of him, because if he is anything like his brother - and this is strictly from what Rose has told me - he's gonna be one hell of a lay. At least you can get a good fuck out of it, relieve some tension."

There it was: her pixie smirk; she was right and she knew it. Regardless, I was not pursuing Edward Cullen, even it it was simply for a 'good fuck'. If there was one thing I had become since my split with James, it was stubborn.

We rounded the corner over by the main stage where the previous band was breaking down and saw Edward with his co-host Jessica Stanley at the station's booth, talking to some of their fans. The station would be broadcasting from the festival all weekend long so most of the personalities were here to mingle with eager fans. Edward, whose show aired in the mornings - and yes I lied, I listened - so he was free to do meet and greets with his new fans.

I had never met his co-host before but she sounded pretty nice on the show. She had shoulder length, straight brown hair and stood about 5 foot 5 inches tall. She was slender, with a slim waist that flared into agilely rounded hips. She was wearing a pair of black pants with a deep blue scoop neck top that showcased even what I could not call anything but a spectacular rack. The belt around her waist only helped to define her smallness.

They looked great together and if I did not know any better, I'd almost think they were a couple. With the way they were acting around each other, one would think they had been working together for years and not just weeks. The ease at which she moved around Edward, the way she looked up at him and the way he rested his hand on the small of her back... I felt a small stab of jealousy course through my veins.

"Bella, Alice! I'm so glad you guys came over. Where's Rose?"

"She is at the booth. Something happened and Jake never showed, so the three of us are taking shifts tonight," Alice said with a slight frown on her face.

"Oh,that's too bad, I was hoping you would be able to enjoy yourselves without working. I wonder what happened, it's not like Jake to flake like that."

"No, it's not," I said, "I'm pretty worried about him. Something must have happened and he still hasn't called."

"Has anyone driven by his house to check on him? Maybe he got sick and fell asleep."

"Edward, that a great idea, I'll-"

"I'll do it Bella, Jasper had to go back to the bar to get more stock, so I'll have him drive by on his way back."

"You're the best Alice! Thank you so much."

"So, Bella, Alice I'd like you to meet Jessica; she co-hosts the morning show with me. Jessica, these are my friends, Alice and Bella."

"Oh My God! It is so nice to meet you both finally. Edward talks about you all the time. I feel like I already know you!"

Oh just shoot me now!

Jessica took my hand in both of hers and shook it, beaming her bright red lipped smile at me. She was way too nice and this was going to kill me. I mean, Alice could be nice, but Alice was also a royal bitch and she always mixed it up. You never got too much of either with Alice. This thing with Jessica, this was almost fake. Jessica continued to babble incessantly and I just looked on and smiled at her the entire time, nodding my head at periodic intervals. I glanced at Edward and he had one hand partially covering his mouth and was grinning like a fool. That fucking louse! He knew exactly what he had done and was completely enjoying my torture.

"I hate to interrupt Bella", Alice said, "But my shift starts in 15 so I'm gonna get back to Rose. Jessica, it was a pleasure meeting you."

"Oh, it was wonderful meeting you too Alice! I hope to see you again real soon."

Shit!, Shit! She was leaving me -alone- with princess chatterbox from hell and Edward the Adonis. I needed an excuse to go and fast.

"Uhh, I had better go too. Rose might need me...It was nice to meet you Jessica, Edward I'll see you later."

I waved good-bye to them both and turned around to leave, mentally patting myself on the back for another narrow escape when I heard Edward behind me.

"Bella, wait!"

Fuck MY Life!

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the side of the stage, leading me to the back. I could feel sprinkles starting to come down on my head. Great! Not only was I trapped with Edward now, but it was starting to rain and I had left my coat in the fucking car. I deserved this; it was payback for all the thoughts running around in my head and karma was a bitch. He pulled me around and backed me up against the far backside of the stage. As I looked at him I felt the blood surge from fingertips to my toes and my heart started thumping uncomfortably.

"You can't keep avoiding me Bella."

He moved in closer, and I could smell the sandalwood scent of his skin. I bit my lip in an effort to control the tremor I knew would come out in my voice if I started to speak. I lifted my chin, looking him in the eyes. Bad idea, Bella.

"I'm not avoiding you Edward; I've just been busy."

He moved closer, his body brushing up against me and his gaze never leaving mine. My heart turned over in my chest and my breathing became ragged.

"You're a very bad liar too."

I was in Edward's arms in one swift motion as he stepped forward and clasped my body tightly to his. Without even thinking, I wrapped my arms around his neck and threaded my fingers through the back of his hair. The touch of his lips to mine sent a shock-wave of pleasure through my entire body, his tongue gently tracing the contours of my bottom lip, as if it were begging me for entrance. I was completely lost as his hand found its way to my hair, tangling itself in and holding my head to his as if I would escape. I opened my mouth to allow him inside, finally giving into my baser needs, and his taste completely overwhelmed me. I could feel the blood pounding into in my brain; it leaped from my heart, making my knees tremble. Edward was literally holding me up. I tilted my head to allow him better access, his tongue reaching deeper, exploring the recesses of my mouth. We were smoldering, like the heat that joins two metals. In the back of my mind I thought I heard a groan and realized it was myself.

I pulled back, my eyes locked with his, searching for something; his breathing was heavy, and uneven. I felt him move his thumb across my cheek, brushing a tendril of damp hair from my face and my skin tingled from the additional contact. Our clothes were getting wet from the rain and water was dripping down my face. It was perfect and I could not help myself: something had taken over, and the bad Bella had come out to play. I had to taste him again. I reclaimed his lips, still warm and moist from our previous kiss. His tongue snaked out and tangled with mine as his hands traveled from my hair, down my back, exploring my body. His fingers reached up under the hem of my shirt, brushing my bare skin. I felt like I was on short circuit and his passion was only fueling my own.

He finally broke away, gazing at me, his hand coming up, brushing the hair from my face. I was waiting for a look of satisfaction from him, of gloating, but there was nothing there, just...wanting? What had happened was starting to sink in, and I slowly started to extract myself from Edward's arms, sliding out of his grasp from the side.

"I-I should really go find Rose."

"Bella-"

"I have to go."

"Stay."

"I can't"

"Bella, you can't ignore us. You felt that; there is something there."

"There is no us Edward," I said softly, " I really have to go."

"Go out with me Bella, one date."

"I can't do this."

"I'm not giving up on you."

"This shouldn't have happened Edward." What had I done? I had just opened up the biggest can of worms ever and now I would never get Edward out of my head. I turned around and hurried back out the way we came, all but running over Jessica in the process.

"Mph.. Oh, I am so sorry Jessica; I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. Are you okay?"

"Jesus Bella! Wanna watch where you're going?"

I paused, looking at her with confusion in my eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Deaf much? I said watch where you're going. Klutz..." She muttered the last part under her breath.

Wow, this was not the ding batty Jessica that Alice and I had met earlier; this was a different species all together. It was like she had played the cute bubbly girl for her public persona but she was a raging bitch when no one was looking. I wondered what she was on the inside. If the attitude I had just seen was any indication, that was not anyone I wanted to be acquainted with any further. I'd have to talk to Alice later about the brief show I had just gotten from Jessica; I was curious what she thought it meant.

By the time I reached the booth, Alice and Rose had switched out and Rose was out wandering around with Emmett. I went behind the counter area and started pulling beer orders with Angela and Mike to help fill my time. I spent about an hour helping out when the rain finally broke and I decided to head out to my car and fetch my rain jacket and umbrella in case it was raining when my shift ended later.

"THE FUCK??"

The back driver's side tire of my 2007 Toyota 4 Runner was flat. How in the hell did I get a flat tire with my car just sitting in a field? I suppose I could have run something over as I was parking, but surely I would have felt it, right? I cocked my head sideways, squinting in the darkness, wait, was that two flat tires? The hair on the back of my neck stood up: something was seriously not right here. I walked up to my car and sure as shit the front driver's side tire was flat as well.

"FUCK!!" One tire is a mishap, but two? Someone had done this on purpose.

I got out my cell phone to call Rose and Emmett, and was walking around the front of the car so I could look at the other side when I glanced up at my windshield. Was that white paint? With the dampness of the rain, the white was streaking down the window but I could very clearly see the word angrily streaked across the window: SLUT. My shock quickly yielded to anger, and I could feel my temper rising as it occurred to me who would have had the balls to do this... James, that sorry motherfucker.

I dialed Rose's number and waited for her to pick up.

"Hey Bella."

"Rose, I'm out in the parking lot at my car and that sorry son of a bitch FUCKING SLASHED MY TIRES and wrote all over my windshield." My voice was rushed and belligerent. I couldn't control my unsteady breathing, or remember the last time I was so incensed.

"Bella, slow down and tell me again. What do you mean tires slashed?"

"James, Rose...It had to be James." I took a deep breath and described to her what I came upon in the parking area.

************

Alice, bless her, worked a double and covered for me while we called the police and filed a report. Emmett had a tow truck waiting nearby from his garage to take my car back so I could have the tires repaired. Unfortunately with all the rain it was going to be hard to get any prints; the rain would have washed most of the residue away. I gave them the previous information about the office break-in and told them about my recent divorce. After asking for James' information they told me they would be following up with him to see where he was this evening. I wasn't holding my breath for any sort of resolution; he would have covered his tracks, it's what he was good at. When we were teenagers he would brag about all the stupid pranks he had pulled on people and gotten away with, and no one had been the wiser. Now he had gotten older and had time to perfect his pranks. Why wouldn't I think he was the one behind this? It made perfect sense.

This entire situation made me so angry. I knew why this had happened and I was going to have to have a heart to heart with the girls about it. James had seen me with Edward; there was no other explanation. He had to have been here somewhere tonight, following me. It was no secret he never wanted the divorce. He fought tooth and nail to keep it from happening and the only reason he signed the papers was because he did not want the extra financial responsibility that came with prolonging things. He was a cheap bastard, after all.

Even if I did want to pursue a relationship with Edward, I was free to do so now and James had no say, so why was he doing this? This was my life and he no longer had any part in it. As a matter of fact, if I never saw him again that would be my prerogative.

"Bella, do you want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Rose, I, ah, to be quite honest I don't know."

"I know James was a possessive son-of-a-bitch, but I can't see him doing this to you. It makes no sense Bella."

"There's no other explanation Rose; who else would and why?"

"Why indeed. Do you care to explain why the word slut is streaked across your front windshield?"

"Why do I feel like I'm being accused of something here?"

"Because Bella, I don't think you're being straight with me, I don't think you've been straight with me for weeks. We're supposed to be best friends, and all you're doing is hiding, not just from me or Alice, but from everyone, from yourself, from Edward... You think we all haven't noticed? We know you've been through a lot and no one here is out to hurt you Bella, but we can't help you if you don't let us, and locking yourself away in your room or your office and avoiding everyone is not going to solve anything."

"I'm not ready for a relationship, Rose; I just don't want to put myself out there again, okay? I don't want to be that messed up girl that everyone is whispering about again because she fell in line with the wrong guy again and got stuck in another dead end relationship. I just want to protect myself. What's so wrong with that? What wrong with wanting to do the right thing and just be happy for myself for once?"

I wanted to scream. Would no one understand? I wasn't up for games and I wouldn't be any one's play toy, never again. I was Bella Swan. I was strong, competent and independent. I knew where I was going and I would figure out what I wanted along the way. That was the fun in discovering yourself, right?

"Bella, you don't have to sleep with him; just be his friend. If it develops into more than that then so be it, but you'll never know what you're missing unless you put yourself out there."

She reached up and brushed a loving hand over my cheek. "What happened Bella? Could you please just tell me?"

I sighed and looked Rose in the eyes, "Edward kissed me Rose, and what it made me feel scared the ever-loving shit out of me. I'm just not ready for that."

Rose gasped, "Edward kissed you? oh lord, we really need to talk..."

Rose started running a hand through her hair and then something dawned on her, "WAIT- did you tell the police this?"

"No, I really didn't think it was relevant. It's my personal life Rose and I don't need people digging through it."

"Bella-"

"Don't Rose! Let me handle this my way, I'm a big girl now and I can take care of myself."

"This could mean something; you really should tell them."

"No!"

"Did you at least tell Edward?"

"Now why in the hell would I do that?" I gave her an exasperated look.

"He has a right to know."

"Like hell he does! Edward is nothing to me Rose; it was a kiss, that's all, nothing more, now drop it okay?" I glared at her, letting her know I meant business. This was my deal and I was not about to have everyone and their mother poking their nose into all my business. The last thing I needed was my private life on display for the entire population of Seattle to peruse at their will.

"Fine! Stubborn bitch...you really have grown balls," she muttered under her breath as she walked off.

"I heard that!" I threw back over my shoulder, grinning for the first time in hours. "Oh, Rose? Did anyone ever find out what happened to Jake?"

"Yeah, Jasper stopped by and his roommate Embry said he wasn't feeling well; he locked himself up in his room earlier this afternoon and has not been out since. He must have forgotten to call. That's really unlike Jake, you know?"

"Yeah, it is..."

I was getting a very unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. Jake would have called. Even if he hadn't called Rose he would have called or texted me - we talked every day. As a matter of fact, I had spoken to him just this morning and he was fine. Something wasn't right; it made no sense, Jake had either suddenly gotten very sick, or Embry was lying.

I got out my phone and shot him off a quick text, figuring if he was sick at least I wouldn't wake him.

J~

Heard u were sick

Just wanted to check on u

Hope u feel better soon

I'm worried

call when u can

B~

That was all I could do for now, hopefully my instincts were wrong and Jake was at home in bed sick. I picked up the pace and ran after Rose. I'd find out soon enough what was going on with Jake. Until then, I had a car to worry about getting fixed, Edward to deal with - which I'd put off as long as I could, until like NEVER, and a booth to help shut down. Fuck me it was going to be a long night...

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews you have been leaving, but the ratio is slightly tilted, lots of hits and little to no reviews. I still see many many lurkers out there and I'd really love to hear from you!! Please, come on in, take your shoes off and pop open a cold beer....review, let me know what you think, do you have questions...ask, let me know what you want from Edward and Bella...

MUAH~~MB