A/N: Hey guys, so this time I do owe you guys an apology. My computer underwent major hardware failure and I lost everything on it and my hard drive decided to pick now to fail as well so I lost all my fanfiction stuff. I've been working on getting everything going again but it's been tough going because my betas became unavailable.

That being said I owe a huge thanks to several of my readers for offers to help out with the beta work in my time of need. You guys really stepped up and I just wanted to say that I couldn't do this without you :-) That being said for those of you who read my other stories I am going to get back to those I promise, things have just been rough.

For more exciting news: There are actually three more chapters AFTER this one. It seems that they all just get too long and I have to split them up. Before anyone asks, I chose Duke Hospital because it's a respectable hospital in an area that I know about it (I go to UNC). However, Durham (the location of Duke) isn't exactly the safest city so Blair's staying in Chapel Hill which is an area I know really well (that's where UNC is).

To my lovely reviewers: ggff-fan, annablake, LayRay, Krazy4Spike, smartin555, odyjha, tvrox12, wrighthangal, LitPrincess2787, EZ11, Juicyxoxocharm16, ana-12, :D, SouthernBelle88, Stella296, and KB22. You guys are so amazing thanks so much for all the inspiration and for sticking with me for two years!

Disclaimer: I own more SillyBandz than a girl my age should but I do not own Gossip Girl.

Rated: T because I let things get smexy from time to time.

Thanks to EmilyEcstatic for beta'ing this chapter! You're awesome.

April 23rd, 2009 - The Palace, NYC and Duke Hospital, Durham NC

Blair had packed quickly and taken a taxi to the airport as soon as she ended her phone call with Marcus, who had already booked her a flight direct from LaGuardia to RDU that night. As many things as he did wrong to her, she could never say that Marcus didn't care about her and didn't know her well enough to know that she would want to get to Chuck as soon as possible. As she landed at RDU her thoughts were immediately on finding a cab or hiring a car but as she exited baggage claim she found a driver already holding a sign with her name. Knowing this was once more Marcus's doing she walked up to the man and spoke. "Hi, I'm Blair Waldorf."

The older man smiled at her. "Follow me. Prince Marcus has secured my services for as long as you're in need of them. Here's your hotel information; you'll be staying at the Franklin Hotel in Chapel Hill, about a ten minute drive from Duke Hospital. That's where we're going now."

At his last statement Blair started to interrupt, she wanted to get to the hospital as soon as possible. She needed to see Chuck, to know he was okay. But the driver held up a hand silencing her.

"With all due respect, visiting hours are over and you need to get some sleep. I'll drive you to the hospital first thing in the morning. Now here's my card with my number on it. My name's Harrison."

This time Blair simply nodded. As much as she wanted to see Chuck, Harrison was right, going and camping out at the hospital wasn't going to do anyone any good. So she agreed to go back to the hotel, where surprisingly she slept better than she had in months. The next morning she assumed it was because she knew that she was close to Chuck, the nightmare that had been consuming their lives for the past year was finally about to be over. So she got ready, taking her time to make sure that she looked perfect; not that Chuck would care, she just knew that she would remember this moment forever and certainly didn't want the memory tainted with tangled hair. This was the moment that they got their happily ever after. Once she was completely satisfied with her appearance she called Harrison to take her to the hospital.

Blair wasn't stupid, she had heard what Marcus said on the phone; she knew that Chuck had been in a terrible car accident, she knew he had been in a coma for over a month, and she knew that he had amnesia for the past year and a half at least. He wasn't supposed to know her name but her heart told her that wasn't what was going to happen; her heart told her that at the sight of her, carrying his child, he would remember everything because it was about damn time they got to be together and fate wouldn't be cruel enough to put another obstacle between them.

That's why she walked into the hospital with confidence. She wasn't going to let anything stand in her way from being with Chuck. In comparison to everything else they had been through, this was nothing. She walked immediately up to the nurse's desk and spoke in the most Blair voice she could manage. "I'm here to see a young man. He's been here for a couple months and doesn't remember much."

The nurse's eyes went wide. She of course knew the patient that the girl was referencing she simply couldn't believe that someone had actually shown up. The past few weeks he had quickly become the favorite patient of the nurses and the fact that this girl was standing here asking to see the patient no one else seemed to know existed was surreal. So as she signed the girl in and provided her with a visitor's pass and the boy's room number she paged Holly.

Holly spotted the girl the moment she stepped off the elevator; it was almost blatantly obvious who the girl was. The natural grace with which she walked, the soft brown curls, the headband in her hair like a tiara, yes Holly knew the girl who got off the elevator, she simply just didn't know her name. As the young woman walked down the hall there was one thing Holly noticed that the young man had never mentioned in any of his stories; the girl in front of her was pregnant, probably close to five months. When the girl got closer she couldn't help the words that left her mouth. "You're the Queen Bee."

Blair found herself smiling nostalgically. "No one's called me that in a long time." And it was as though time was nothing, she felt herself flash back to a time not so long ago when being called Queen B was something she expected on a regular basis. Subconsciously she reached up and touched the headband on her head; they used to be symbolic of a crown for her, now they were like a safety blanket, her favorite accessory but nothing more. Bringing herself back from the past she smiled at the nurse. "I'm Blair Waldorf."

The nurse returned the undeniably beautiful girl's smile. "I'm Holly, the head nurse on his case." She was still wondering about the pregnancy; was the child the young man's or was it the golden boy from his stories. In all actuality it could be someone else's entirely who even knew how long it had been since this girl had last seen the young man.

Blair gestured slightly to the room behind the nurse. "Is he in there?" She should be nervous, but she wouldn't allow it. She wouldn't allow herself to feel anything but hope. This was the moment when everything was going to be right with the world again.

Holly nodded. "Yes, are you aware of his condition?"

"I am." Blair spoke allowing confidence to fill her voice as she began towards the door; just as her hand began to turn the handle the nurse placed a hand on her arm, causing Blair to turn her head back.

Holly bit her lip slightly, she found the brunette intimidating even though the girl had done nothing to cause this; yet she still found herself treading carefully. "Wait, I just have one question." She paused for a second. "Who is he?"

This time Blair couldn't help but smirk. "He's Chuck Bass." And with those words she turned the handle and entered the room with Holly hot on her heels. The second she saw him her mouth fell open slightly and she heard her strangled voice speak. "Chuck." She had to mask her reaction quickly. It wasn't that Chuck looked bad, honestly he didn't. He was wearing what appeared to be flannel pajamas that reminded her of the Humphreys but there was nothing that appeared physically wrong with Chuck. Still something seemed off; there was something in his eyes, something missing. There was a certain coldness there that she hadn't seen in a really long time. She probably would have continued standing there for several more minutes without saying a word but Chuck's voice broke her out of her reverie.

"Blair Waldorf!" Chuck said a hint of excitement in his voice as he sat up straighter in bed and allowed his natural smirk to grace his features. "How did you find me?"

Instantly Blair's heart soared. Chuck remembered her. Chuck had remembered her name. Everything was going to be okay. In two strides she was at his bed side reaching for his hand. "Oh Chuck, I'm so glad you're alright." But as she reached for his hand he pulled it back, moving away from her and looking at her as though she had done something unusual.

"What are you doing?" Chuck asked as a strange look came over his features. This was Blair Waldorf and they didn't have the kind of relationship where affection was the norm. As much as he might wish that they did, she was his best friend's girl and neither of them would ever do that to Nate; even if Nate didn't deserve her.

Blair could feel the first rush of panic and tried to mentally reason with herself. Chuck knew her name, he knew her; whatever was going on they could work through. "Chuck, it's me Blair, remember? I love you."

Chuck's eyebrows shot up. He was fairly certain no woman had ever said that to him outside of the bedroom. "You what?"

"I love you." Blair said this time taking his hand against his will and squeezing it lightly.

Chuck could feel his heart beating rapidly as he looked up at Blair then down at their hands. What the fuck was going on here? He began looking around the room frantically, drawing his hand from hers and leaning forward to see into the hallway; now with a smile on his face. "I get it; this is some sort of practical joke. You guys heard about my amnesia and decided to see if you could trick me; well too bad Waldorf, I'm not that crazy." Then he raised his voice, smiling as he shouted into the hallway. "COME ON IN NATHANIEL. JOKE'S OVER."

Blair shook her head slightly and biting her lip, she had to stop the tears that were threatening to fall, now was not the time. "Nate's not here Chuck."

Chuck looked at her disbelief. "Since when do you go anywhere without your perfect boyfriend?"

A feeling of dread started to wash through Blair. There was something really wrong here. Chuck thought she was still dating Nate. Chuck clearly thought that nothing had ever happened between them. "Nate's not my boyfriend Chuck. He hasn't been for a long time."

"Then who knocked you up?" Chuck asked snarkily. "Which by the way, you must have been pregnant already the last time I saw you which is a surprise since I was under the impression you were a virgin."

Blair felt a gasp escape her throat as she sat back into the chair that was behind her. Her head fell into her hands and she wiped quickly at the tears that were falling. You have to pull yourself together she thought to herself before looking back to Chuck. "You. You're the father of my baby."

At that Chuck burst out laughing. "Very funny Waldorf. I'm guessing this is all part of your's and Nate's little joke; well you've taken it far enough." He said as he reached over to place a hand on her stomach. "I'm guessing this is one of those fake pregnancy bellies." But as his hand touched her only slightly protruding stomach he was hit with a wave of shock. Blair Waldorf really was pregnant. He couldn't help but notice a slight pang in his chest at the thought that that made her Nate's for good. "You mean you're actually pregnant?"

Blair nodded slowly as one single tear escaped her eyes. "Chuck what's the last thing you remember?" She asked looked directly into his eyes.

As Blair looked at him, Chuck saw something in Blair's eyes that he didn't like, something that he was all too used to seeing there; she was sad. But this time her sadness seemed to be overwhelming her as she so rarely allowed for it to do. "I don't know. I mean I remember being punched by Humphrey at the Kiss on the Lips party."

Blair felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. All she wanted right now was to purge. Chuck was stuck two years ago. His last memories were from a time that they didn't even exist yet. "What after that?"

"Humphrey showed up at my father's brunch and I told him about Nate and Serena after you caught Nate meeting Serena in secret after I had tried to help you lose your virginity." Chuck felt his nostrils flare slightly at the memory.

Blair nodded slightly. Maybe she could coax him through this. "Then what?"

"The Ivy League Reception?" Chuck was almost asking her if this was correct, she gave a nod and he continued. "We were scheming together to get back at Serena. Then that weekend was the lost weekend and I had to rescue dear Nathaniel from Carter Baizen."

Blair nodded encouragingly. "Keep going."

Chuck furrowed his brow in concentration, what had happened after that. "The Masquerade Ball. Jenny Humphrey tricked me into losing my clothes and Nate kissed Serena when he was supposed to be looking for you."

"Right." Blair said with a smile. He was so close, they were almost there.

Chuck smiled at his next memory. "I brought you to Victrola to show it to you before I presented my proposal to my father. You said you were proud of me. Bart rejected the proposal at first but then he reconsidered and allowed me to purchase it." Things were getting fuzzy quickly. It was a struggle to keep going in his memory. "I remember being inside enjoying the party when I got a call from my driver saying that he was dropping you off."

Blair's heart soared. He remembered! Still she needed him to say it. "What happened when I got to Victrola? Come on Chuck; tell me what happened that night."

This time Chuck felt his eyebrows furrow even more deeply as he strained to think what had happened after his driver had called; but try as he might he was drawing a complete blank. His memory ended right at that moment, there was nothing else. As he met Blair's eyes, he saw the hope reflected in her own and didn't want to say what he was about to say; he didn't like hurting her even if he did think she was crazy. "I don't know."

Blair felt her heart stop. She literally felt it stop beating. "How can you not know? You remember getting the phone call, yet you don't remember seeing me that night?"

Chuck ran a hand up and gripped his hair tightly as though he could pull the memory she was searching for out of his brain. "I'm sorry I don't remember anything else." He said finally, an air of disappointment in his voice.

Blair found herself collapsing backwards into the chair. How was this possible? Chuck literally remembered everything up until the point at which they started. She found herself chuckling darkly and noticed Chuck look over at her strangely.

"What is it?" He asked curiously. He had never seen Blair like this. Honestly she looked a little unhinged.

Blair shook her head slightly. "You remember everything but us. How can you not remember us?" She asked finally meeting his eyes.

Chuck felt something in him stir. Blair being in pain was causing him pain and he didn't like that. It was a strange feeling, Blair was the one girl he considered a friend, the one girl he respected and the way she was looking at him right now was causing him physical pain. He couldn't handle seeing her like this. "I want to but I can't." She ran a hand through her hair and he narrowed his eyes in concentration. "Tell me what happened that night at Victrola, maybe it will jog my memory."

Blair looked to him, sitting there in the hospital bed looking so earnest; they had to try, they couldn't give up now, not after everything. "Right after I got there I told you that Nate and I had broken up and you promised to help me forget. You dared me to dance on the stage but didn't think I would do it; I did." Chuck raised an eyebrow but she continued. "In the limo on the way home I kissed you, you asked me if I was sure, and I lost my virginity to you."

Chuck could see that Blair was serious so he tried his best to hold back a snarky comment. "I think I like this story." Suddenly, something struck him. "Is that how you got pregnant because I always use protection?"

Blair shook her head. "Oh no that was almost two years ago."

"Not that I think you would let me remove your chastity belt in the back of my limo, but do go on." Chuck spoke now quite intent on listening to the story Blair had to tell; regardless of whether or not he believed it.

Something in Blair told her this was her only chance at getting her Chuck back so she did as he asked. "You schemed to make sure Nate and I didn't get back together and gave me an Erikson Beamon necklace for my 17th Birthday, which you crashed by the way. We carried on our affair until Cotillion when Nate wanted me back and you manipulated me trying to keep me. I found out and dumped you and slept with Nate. You saw and left town."

Chuck's eyes narrowed involuntarily. "I didn't react well to that did I?"

"No. You blackmailed me to stay away from Nate but I realized you had no proof and Nate and I started dating. I thought I was pregnant and you told gossip girl about the pregnancy scare and that I'd slept with two guys in the same week." Blair said quickly, wanting to get through this part.

Chuck nodded his head slightly. "I went after your reputation. You must have hurt me pretty badly for me to do that."

Blair nodded. "And that's not all. Nate found out it was you and you two got in a fight so everyone found out you were the other guy. After I lost everyone, I went to you and you turned me away comparing me to your father's Arabians. You told me you didn't want me anymore."

"I was tired of being picked last." Chuck said looking away from her.

Hope filled Blair as she reached for his hand. "You remember?"

Chuck shook his head. "No. But if what you were saying was true, that's how I would feel. That's the only thing that I could think would make me turn you away."

Blair couldn't deny the disappointment she felt but she did her best to hide it. "It took us months to get past that. We schemed together to get rid of Georgina, then you made your best man's speech at your dad's wedding about me and you won me over. We were happy for a week; we had plans to go to Tuscany together but you never showed."

"I'm sorry." Chuck said softly noticing that Blair brushed over the words meaning that they still hurt her.

Blair didn't acknowledge his words, knowing the tears would start falling if she did. "We spent the summer apart. I brought a British Lord to the Hamptons with me to make you jealous. Which turned out not to be necessary."

Chuck was nodding again and found himself making excuses for the Chuck in her story. "You know I was just scared right?"

"That's what you told me." Blair said softly. "You sang to me and told me that you love me."

This time Chuck bolted upwards in bed and looked at her eyes wide. Up until this point there was still a part of him that thought that this was all a joke, that Blair was just making this all up but the singing, was something she couldn't be making up. "I didn't. I wouldn't have." Chuck spoke without thinking.

Blair's eyes widened. Chuck was denying that he had told her he loved her. Of course he was, the old Chuck would have never admitted to loving her and sitting in front of her was the old Chuck as much as he might be trying not to be. "Actually you did. You told me you loved me and we made love."

Chuck's eyes sufficiently widened but he started shaking his head. "As hard as that might be to believe, that wasn't actually what I was referring to. What could you have done that would have made me sing for you? No one knows that I sing."

Blair laughed slightly. "Actually quite a few people know that both of us sing. You sang at my wedding."

"You're wedding?" Chuck asked now more sure than ever that this was all some kind of sick and twisted dream and at any moment he was going to wake up and Blair would be gone.

Inhaling deeply, Blair continued. "I'll get to that soon enough. Lord Marcus filmed us having sex and built a bogus case against you. He forced me to marry him."

Chuck shook his head violently. "No. If I loved you like you said I did I wouldn't have let that happen. I would have gone to jail for something I didn't do first. I would have stopped him."

"You tried. We all did. Even the Humphreys. But it wasn't enough. Something happened in the British ascension line and Marcus's brother became next in line for the thrown making him second and making me a Princess. It was strange. You and I wrote each other constantly and at Christmas you surprised me by showing up at my father's in France." Blair paused and gestured towards her belly. "That's when this happened. Marcus had switched my birth control for sugar pills hoping that I would eventually sleep with him and get pregnant. On Christmas Day, you proposed to me. We were going to run away but Marcus showed up. Then you were going to come and stay in London so that we could be together but my mom died in a plane crash." At that her voice broke.

This time it was Chuck who reached for her hand. Whether he believed any of this or not, remembered this or not, Blair's pain was real and they were still friends. "I'm so sorry."

Blair nodded, brushing away a stray tear with her free hand. "You helped me through it and that's why I wouldn't let you come to London. I lied to you, telling you I had told Marcus our plan but I hadn't. Then when I got back to London, Marcus found our letters and he made me write you this awful letter ending things for good. I did the royal wedding thing and everyone came but you. Marcus found a gift you gave me and let me go home but I wasn't soon enough. When they got home Jenny said you were acting weird and told her you were leaving town. I got there about an hour later but I was too late you were gone. It was then that I found out I was pregnant. We had thought it was Jenny but it turned out to be me. I knew something had gone terribly wrong with you and I called Marcus. He found you."

Chuck leaned back against his bed and sighed; he was still straining his mind trying to remember any of this, trying to feel any of what Blair said he should feel. If what she was saying was true he had tried to kill himself because he couldn't have her. Chuck couldn't even comprehend that kind of emotional attachment; he had never experienced anything like that before. He closed his eyes tightly and when he spoke again it was with immense effort. "Bring the doctor in; see if he can figure any of this out."

Blair looked backwards to where she knew Holly was still standing; the girl was already exiting to page the doctor. Blair looked back to Chuck, knowing that she must look desperate because he was looking at her with a gaze that Chuck Bass rarely wore; he was looking at her with a gaze filled with pity. "Don't look at me like that." She spoke softly but with an obvious command in her voice. "Please don't look at me like that." This time her voice was gentler.

"I'm sorry." Chuck spoke in response as he looked away from Blair's eyes. He knew what she must have seen in them and her response caused yet another tightening of his chest.

Blair swallowed. "You say that a lot now."

Chuck brought his shoulders up in a sort of half shrug. "I don't know what else to say."

Blair was opening her mouth to speak when the doctor walked in. She stood and backed away so the doctor could get closer. She stood there for the better part of an hour as the doctor asked Chuck question after question but she realized almost immediately that the doctor was just as perplexed by all of this as she was. He wasn't going to be able to give them any more answers than they already had. "I'm afraid this is as much a puzzle to me as it is to you Chuck. Seeing Miss. Waldorf has seemed to trigger your recollection of names but you don't seem to have remembered anything that you didn't before. Amnesia can be a tricky thing and sometimes its effects are irreversible. You might want to consider going home and living your life." As he was about to leave he pulled Holly aside and whispered something in her ear.

Chuck nodded as the doctor spoke; nodded but wasn't certain that he understood. How was it possible that he remembered their names and nothing else? Why did his memory stop where it did? Why couldn't anyone tell him what was wrong with him? Damn it he was Chuck Bass; he got what he wanted when he wanted it so why couldn't anyone answer his fucking questions?

After the doctor left Blair returned to her seat next to Chuck's bed. "So what do you think? Do you want me to have them prepare your release papers?" Blair couldn't deny that that was what she wanted; maybe if she got Chuck back into his own environment things would start coming back to him.

Chuck could feel the panic rising up in him. It was the kind of panic he felt when he accidentally slept with a stage 5 clinger. It was like the walls were closing in around him and he couldn't breathe. He couldn't go back to New York. He wouldn't know how to function in this world that Blair had described. He wasn't the guy that she wanted him to be. He didn't feel the way about her that she wanted him to feel. He was a different Chuck Bass and he couldn't pretend otherwise. "I'm not ready to go home." He said finally.

Blair smiled understandingly. "Okay that's fine. We can stay for a couple more weeks. Maybe you'll remember something else and I'm sure there are more tests that the doctors can run."

Chuck shook his head. "No I think you should go back to New York." She didn't get it. He could tell with one look that she didn't get what he was trying to say to her.

"I'm not leaving you here all by yourself." Blair spoke as she reached out to take his hand again. Normally, Blair Waldorf could read Chuck Bass like an open book. She knew him better than he knew himself; but this wasn't the Chuck Bass that she knew, at least not anymore. That made things a little more difficult.

Once more Chuck moved his hand away. "You're not understanding me. I want you to go back to New York and I want to stay here; alone."

Blair felt herself draw backwards. The intensity in Chuck's gaze let her know how serious she was and suddenly she felt like one of his one night stands being asked to leave his suite after sex. So this is what that feels like? She thought to herself as her heart broke. "Why?" She asked, hearing her voice break.

"Because I'm not the Chuck Bass that you want me to be. I don't know how to be that guy." Chuck spoke steadily.

Blair shrugged slightly. "That's okay. We'll work things out and maybe eventually . . ."

This time Chuck let his frustration and panic escape into the tone of his voice as he interrupted her. "You don't get it. I don't want to be that guy. I like who I am right now. I like this Chuck Bass. I don't want to go back to New York where there will be all of these expectations for who I am supposed to be. I'm not ready for that and honestly I don't think I ever will be."

Blair felt as though she had been slapped across the face. Chuck had just blatantly told her that he had no interest in being with her, maybe ever. That he didn't care if he ever remembered what they meant to each other. How was that even possible? How could he . . . "I love you." Blair said, her voice interrupting her own thoughts. "And you love me. I know you do. The first time you told me you said that you always had and you always would. This is still always Chuck."

Chuck shook his head again. "I'm sorry Blair but I don't feel that way about you. I don't feel that way about anyone."

The tears running down her face felt like acid as they burned their way down her cheeks. She wanted to hit Chuck, to hurt him, to make him feel the kind of all consuming pain that she was feeling right now. "I need you Chuck. Our baby needs you. I can't do this without you."

Chuck was uncomfortable. He wasn't used to Blair pleading with him and crying; he wasn't used to emotions at all and right now he was being hit with an onslaught of them, both his and hers. "I'm sorry. I can't. I just can't. Just go back home, go back to Nate."

At the sound of Nate's name Blair threw the clutch in her hand against the wall. "How many times do I have to say it, Nate and I aren't together anymore and we never will be again?"

"I don't know what else to tell you. If you aren't going back to Nate then just go back to New York and find someone else to take care of you because I can't do it. I don't want to do it." Chuck shouted.

Blair jerked at his harsh words; this was so unlike the Chuck that she was used to, this wasn't her Chuck at all. She shakily regained her composure. "You don't understand anything." With that she stood, walking over to collect her clutch and walking out of the room.

As Blair walked into the hallway, wiping her tear stains away with a tissue, she felt someone place a hand on her shoulder. She placed her hands by her side as she turned around to see the nurse, Heather, Hannah, Haley, whatever her name was, standing in front of her. "Yes?" She asked, trying to remain composed.

Holly looked at the young woman in front of her and couldn't help but think that she had the saddest eyes she'd ever seen. The girl looked absolutely heartbroken and she knew that there was nothing that she or anyone other than Chuck could say to make any of it better. "The doctor wanted to talk to you before you left. He's on his way."

Blair nodded slightly; he probably just had a couple questions to ask her that he couldn't in front of Chuck. "Thank you . . . Holly." She spoke, finally remembering the name of the young nurse. Within a minute the doctor was approaching her from down the hallway. "You wanted to talk to me?" She asked as he approached.

"Yes. Miss. Waldorf was it?" He asked, receiving a nod of confirmation. "I was informed that your relationship with Mr. Bass might have been the catalyst for his accident?" Again Blair nodded. "And that his memory seems to stop at the beginning of this relationship?" Once more Blair nodded. "This leads me to a rather disturbing conclusion. Now before I tell you this I want you to know that I'm not one hundred percent certain, one can never be with matters such as these; however my gut instinct as a physician has led me to believe that perhaps his amnesia is somewhat voluntary."

Blair had been standing there thinking that the manner in which all of the doctor's statements were actually questions was annoying when he spoke his last statement causing her mouth to fall open in shock. "Are you suggesting that Chuck is forgetting our relationship on purpose?"

The doctor tilted his head slightly. "Not exactly. What I'm saying is that it's probable after the trauma of the crash, Chuck's brain and heart for that matter couldn't handle any more stress or trauma and it chose to forget what was causing him to feel these emotions." Seeing the set of the girl's jaw, he could see that she wanted to march right in there and tell Chuck what the doctor had just said to her so he continued speaking in order to prevent this from occurring. "Now it is my professional opinion that Chuck would not benefit from knowing this, that it might hinder his recovery so I am going to ask that you don't tell him."

Blair inhaled deeply; she didn't know how much more of this she could handle. "What does this mean?" The doctor looked as though he was about to re-explain everything so Blair rephrased her question. "I mean, what does this mean for me, for Chuck? What difference does it make?"

Understanding her meaning, the doctor shifted his glasses down on his nose as though he wanted to look at her over the rim, as though he wanted to examine the girl before him with his own eyes. "It means that there's nothing I, or any of my colleagues can do for him. There's no test to be done, no medicine to use. The patient won't recover any more of his memory until he is ready to do so."

All Blair wanted to do was scream. Inside she was doing just that. Inside her screams were echoing around her brain and through every single cell. The only thing she wanted more in that moment than to scream was for Chuck to be Chuck again. So while her internal screaming was so loud that she couldn't hear anything else she turned away from the doctor and walked out of the hospital.

April 28, 2009 - Van der Woodsen Penthouse, NYC

"Dude, remind me again why we're at the Van der Bass apartment?" Nate asked as he spun the soccer ball currently in his hands. He and Dan were supposed to be going to the park to play soccer but Dan had asked Nate to meet him in the lobby of the Van der Woodsen's building.

Dan grimaced; he sucked at this plotting business. "I left my tennis shoes in the media room upstairs." As he lied he slipped out his phone and quickly texted Serena.

In the elevator, should be in two minutes.

Nate nodded. "Right." He was distracted and anxious. He knew that Jenny didn't live at the Van der Woodsen's but with Eric there; she could potentially be there at anytime. "And your sister is where?"

Dan didn't know how he'd even gotten Nate this far, it was a weak excuse to start with; even the Humphrey's had more than one pair of tennis shoes. He quickly looked down at a simply okay from Serena before speaking again. "My sister is out shopping with Serena." Dan spoke as the elevator doors opened and they stepped out. "I just have to run upstairs and grab my shoes; we'll be out of here long before they get back."

Again Nate nodded tentatively. "I'll wait here." He couldn't explain his anxiety; there was something that just felt off with all of this. He was tentative as he sat down on one of the living room sofas; he needed to chill the fuck out.

As Dan started up the stairs he pulled out his phone and sent one last message, then his role in this was done.

ShowTime

When Serena saw the code word appear on her phone she walked out of her bedroom, knowing that Jenny would follow. "So you really haven't heard from Blair?" She asked over her shoulder.

"Not for almost a week." Jenny said as she followed Serena back out into the expansive living room. "The last time I talked to her was the day she convinced me that there was something more going on with Chuck."

Serena might have used the currently MIA Blair Waldorf as a reason for getting Jenny over here but she really was concerned that no one had seen or heard from Blair in days. She was about ready to kill both her mother and Bart for chasing her away. "So that means that the last person to hear from her was . . ."

"Nate" Jenny breathed as she came to a sudden stop, spotting Nate standing up in the living room. She was frozen, she didn't know what else to do or say, she wasn't ready for this, wasn't ready to see him.

Serena started backing away. "I'm just going to go upstairs and let the two of you talk."

Nate experienced several emotions in only a short time span. Surprised at seeing Jenny, validation for his feelings of anxiety, and anger at the realization that he had been set up. "Not so fast Serena. I don't have anything to say to her." Nate spoke not even looking at Jenny.

Serena didn't pay much attention to Nate's words as she continued to back up the stairs to where Dan had emerged on the upper landing. "We just want the two of you to talk." He spoke placing a hand on Serena's back to support her.

"I don't want to talk to her." Nate shouted towards Serena and Dan before turning his hand towards Jenny surprised to see that she looked shell shocked. His first thought was that she had been in on this but maybe she had been just as blindsided by all of this as he was. "I don't want to talk to you." He spoke, his words still harsh.

Jenny still stood there frozen staring at Nate. At least her mouth finally seemed to be working or perhaps it was just now that she had been able to think of something to say. "Nate, I'm sorry. I didn't know."

Something in her words set him off and Nate found himself directing the anger pulsing through his veins at her. "Sorry for what Jenny? Sorry for sleeping with my best friend? Sorry for lying to me about it for months? Or just sorry for being here?"

"All of it." Jenny said as she took a step forward, towards Nate. Serena was standing on the stair case encouraging her with her eyes and hand motions.

Nate immediately backed away. "God Jen, don't you get it I'm not ready for this and there's a good chance I never will be."

Jenny sighed slightly as she closed her eyes and pursed her lips. "I know. I just miss you."

Serena and Dan looked at one another each knowing what the other was thinking; perhaps things were working out after all.

The first words Nate wanted to say were, "I miss you too", but he knew that that would only lead to things he didn't want to happen; things he couldn't let happen. So instead he spoke words that he knew would hurt her. "You did this. So don't stand there looking at me with those innocent eyes acting like I'm putting you through something terrible by staying away. You're the one that whored yourself out to my best friend."

Jenny's mouth fell open, not quite believing that Nate had the gall to say what he just had and spoke her next words without thinking. "Because you had just told everyone that Blair was the love of your life."

"So you bang the first guy you can find?" Nate asked taking a step forward, a menacing look twisting his features. "When we got back together I did everything in the world thinking that I had something to make up for, little did I know you were sleeping with my best friend! You let me go on for months thinking that everything was finally good between us again but really you were playing me all along. God Jen you thought you were pregnant and you didn't even tell me."

"It was one time Nate, one moment of weakness." She pleaded knowing that she was about to start crying. "And I'm sorry."

Nate shook his head. "Sorry isn't good enough." He spoke backing away suddenly. He looked up to find Dan and Serena still standing on the landing. "I'm out of here and next time the two of you should leave the plotting to Chuck and Blair, they would have found a way to manipulate us back into a relationship."

Jenny just stood there watching Nate walk away. She shook as she heard him bang on the elevator doors while he waited on them to open. Once he was gone she felt Serena put her arm around her, attempting to pull her into a hug. Jenny spun around, jerking herself away. "Don't touch me."

"Jenny we were just trying to help." Serena spoke softly, taking a step towards the younger girl as Dan appeared at her side.

Jenny shook her head furiously, letting the anger that had been building during her conversation with Nate explode. "This is all your fault! Why couldn't you just mind your own business?"

Dan placed an arm protectively around Serena. "Jenny that's not fair, we were trying to get you guys back together."

Jenny sighed infuriated. "I am well aware of what you pathetically attempted to do. Do you honestly think that I haven't had the opportunity to talk to Nate since we've been back from London? It's been months. I know where he lives and we go to the same school. If I had thought he was ready to talk I would have gone to him. But I knew he wasn't ready, not after what I did. He needed more time, we both did; but you just had to force us to confront our issues. Now after that he may never want to talk again."

Serena reached to touch Jenny's shoulder but she backed away. "Jenny . . ."

"Just leave me alone and mind your own business." Jenny shouted as she turned and walked to the elevator, glad when it came quickly and she was able to escape.

As Jenny left Dan looked at Serena. "Well that went well." He spoke sarcastically, earning him an immediate smack on the shoulder from Serena. "Really though it could have been worse."

"How could that possibly have gone worse?" Serena asked crossing her arms irritably.

Dan gave a small smirk. "He still calls her Jen." Serena raised her eyebrows in a gesture he knew meant 'so what.' "That means he still cares."

May 3, 2009 - Duke Hospital, Durham NC

"I still can't believe you just let her walk out of here. I mean Jesus Christ Chuck she's carrying your baby!" Emma exclaimed adamantly as she sat down in the chair next to Chuck Bass's bed. Emma was a candy-striper at the hospital when she wasn't at school and over the time that Chuck had been there he had intrigued her. Now anytime she could get away with it she hung out in his room. The back-story was what attracted her, the charm and good looks drew her in, she had stayed for the amazing tales he told of the city and what it was like to have that kind of money, now she considered him a friend and had just asked for the third time to have him repeat Blair Waldorf's story.

Chuck shook his head tersely. "It's not that simple. I don't know for sure that it's my kid that she's carrying. I told you, the last thing I remember; she was my best friend's girlfriend. That's why I can't believe her story Em; I wouldn't do that, not to my best friend. If there was one line I wouldn't cross, it's that one." Many things had changed since Blair visited. He was no longer wearing the flannel pajamas Holly had acquired, instead he now donned a silk robe and pajama set imported from France, the sheets were different too, and the food he ate was catered. Honestly he might as well just get a room somewhere but he couldn't bring himself to leave the hospital and he was funneling enough money into this place that they weren't about to kick him out. He had called his lawyer and had his credit cards terminated and had checked the state of his bank account; no real damage done. A couple million missing at the most but percentage wise that was like dropping a couple of pennies. Something else that had changed was his contentment. Before Blair's visit, everything had been perfectly fine. Sure he didn't know who he was but mentally he was fine. Now he was restless all the time. He felt like there was somewhere else he was supposed to be and the thoughts that assaulted his mind at all hours were mind boggling and he couldn't even begin to sort through them. Yet even with his mixed up thoughts he knew he'd done the right thing in sending Blair away; that was one responsibility that he wasn't anywhere near ready for.

Emma sighed dreamily as she clasped her hands together. "But Chuck, what if it is true? I mean come on it's like the most romantic story ever. It's like your very own fairy tale."

Again Chuck shook his head, Emma had gotten really wrapped up in all of this over the past few days and he wanted to say that it was grating on his nerves but in truth it was good to have someone to talk to about his feelings that didn't judge him and didn't expect anything in return. Just as he was about to speak, Holly walked in and crossed her arms. "Emma what did I tell you about pestering Mr. Bass?"

Chuck shrugged slightly, trying to not look too invested. "She's fine and you know you can call me Chuck."

Holly sighed slightly as the younger nurse shot her a smirk but she found herself taking a seat as well; she couldn't deny that she was immensely curious about Chuck's past and his relationship with the girl who had visited a few weeks ago. "Well then do continue."

Chuck smirked; he could tell that Holly was as interested in what he was thinking as Emma even if she didn't want to admit it. "What I was about to say was that is just what it sounds like; a fairy tale. It can't be true."

Emma found the excitement of the situation getting the better of her again and spoke passionately. "What if she is carrying your baby Chuck? Are you really prepared to just walk away from that?"

Chuck shook his head. "I'm not walking away from anything I'm not the father of that kid. Maybe the Chuck with a memory is, but I'm not. Even if it is my child I would be an awful father, the kid deserves better, so does Blair. She'll find somebody to take care of her and the child and they'll make her happy in ways I couldn't."

Emma threw her head back and sighed loudly. "But don't you like her? Don't you care about her?"

Chuck pursed his lips, something he rarely did. He didn't want wrinkles. "Yes I care about her." He replied honestly.

"Then what's the problem? If you care about her go be there for her." Emma said matter-of-factly.

Chuck averted his eyes from the honest trusting ones of the young girl in front of him. "I think I want to be alone to think." He heard Emma sigh and leave as he remained facing the other wall but he knew there was still someone else in the room. He waited for a moment expecting her to leave as well, when she didn't he spoke. "You too Holly."

Holly had remained standing there getting her thoughts in order, preparing to make a case that she had been building for the past few days. She had been waiting for the perfect time to talk to Chuck and this was it. "Don't talk, listen." She spoke as she walked to the other side of the room where Chuck was still staring, knowing that Chuck could very well just turn the other direction and block her out; but she had a feeling that he wouldn't, she had a feeling that he would hear her out. When Chuck didn't look away and she was certain that she had his attention she began to talk. "Over the time you've been here, I've gotten to know you pretty well. You more than care about Blair Waldorf. I knew that before she came here and after seeing the two of you together I'm more certain of that than ever. If you are still trying to convince yourself that she was lying to you about any of what she said you need more than a CT Scan to help you out. She flew here from New York to see you, to bring you back. And you treated her like shit, sending her away in tears."

Chuck felt himself flinch at her words. "You have no right to speak to me like that, I am a patient here and you are interfering in matters where you don't belong." There was a hard edge to his voice, one he found he didn't particularly like. He found the edge ebb away as he spoke again. "Besides, you don't understand, the Chuck Bass that Blair Waldorf knows might be in love with her, but that's not me. I can't just manufacture those feelings."

Holly laughed lowly. "No you don't understand." Then in a whiney imitation of Chuck she continued. "I'm Chuck Bass and she's too good for me. I couldn't possibly be in love with her because she deserves better." Her normal voice returned. "Seriously Chuck? Do you even hear yourself? All I've heard from you is how badly Nate treated her and side comments about how you would never treat her like that. This is your chance to do that. She loves you; she'd be patient with you. And that's not the only thing you're getting a chance at. From what you've said about your father I know that he wasn't a great one, every time you spoke of him you said that when you have a son that you're going to make sure he knows that you love him; yet you are about to let Blair go carrying your child. Get your thoughts together Chuck, write a journal, use that lap top you've brought in and do a blog; just do something to work this stuff out in your head because if you don't you'll regret it."

Chuck didn't know why he felt so angry but Holly's words made him want to punch someone. "How dare you presume to know my feelings about anything! Get out of my room and do your job before I have you fired because trust me it would only take one phone call."

Inhaling deeply Holly started walking out of the room she knew that Chuck was serious but right before she walked out the door she couldn't help a parting remark, if it got her fired she'd deal with it. "Grow up Chuck."

At first Chuck could only think of the anger and righteous indignation he felt at Holly's words, especially her last comment. She acted as though she didn't know who she was speaking to, not to mention her words definitively placed him in the wrong. Holly was acting like she knew his feelings better than he did which was simply ludicrous. He knew how he felt and he knew that what he felt for Blair wasn't love. Sure he hadn't been able to get her out of his head lately but that was just because she had visited and told all of those ridiculous stories. So what if they were true, that wasn't him and she wasn't his responsibility. As Chuck thought the words they didn't sit easily within his mind; it was as though his brain was rejecting the thoughts, screaming at him that Blair was his responsibility, in some ways she always had been. It was true, he had always worked to make Blair happy when Nathaniel did something to disappoint her which he inevitably always did, when her mother told her she was fat, when her father left, when Serena left, he was always the one she turned to; Blair's happiness was his responsibility.

As he came to that new conclusion Chuck began to ponder just why Holly's words had gotten to him. Why should he care what some vapid nurse thought? So she thought that he was already in love with Blair and she made presumptuous statements in relation to his father and his past relationships, so what? The only reason that was fathomable was that on some level he was afraid that she was right. It would explain his unrest of the past week as well as explain the pain he had felt upon hurting Blair. Now the real question was whether or not this realization changed anything.

A/N: Remember Chuck is the Chuck from circa episode 1.06 BEFORE Blair ever happened. So while I sure as hell hope his actions in the chapter are out of character for my Chuck (and the Chuck of the show now) he isn't that guy (yet). Just in case anyone cares I have pictures of what I think of as the nurses on my profile.

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kate