This chapter is later than promised, I know, you're preaching to the crowd dear [insert your name here] – never never never never write when you're pissed at your computer, more specifically Vista *crosses self & throws salt over my shoulder* which decided to fuck me over when I went to get rid of it. I've been working off flatmates laptop while she's been away, but it's just not that same *sob*. But I had some Dell High Priests round and they took it away and exorcised that bitch, so I'm now running Windows 7 (hallelujah!!!!), so here's some Chapter 15 for you! Finally.
And I made it a little longer to atone for my sins... Forgive me? I wuv u, please don't leave me alone on the forest floor – there's wolves out there! And they smell funky.
AN. Fandom Gives Back. Haven't about it? What rock have you been living under?!?!
I know I'm shiny and new, but some of you find my shit tres amusant, so I've put two items up for grabs, because it's for charity and I'm a sucker for a good cause. I've lost friends to cancer, so understand the importance of sticking people up for cash. So... you could have an outtake of your choice from The Last Mile, or a 5k oneshot featuring two characters of your choice and *your very own name* le gasp! Each is up for $25 dollars, so yeah... someone buy me bitches he he! It's for charity, and you don't want to disappoint the little kids with cancer do you...
*big sad eyes – think puss in boots in Shrek, that's what I'm doing on the other end of your screen right now*
Yeah, I went there... I've already told you hell has reserved my place on the rack, they're oiling that bitch as I type. Find me there at this link, or under the 'Fanfiction Story Auctions' section under Catonspeed FCFS Multiples (page 2 of the whores list):
http://thefandomgivesback(dot)proboards(dot)?board=fic&action=display&thread=184 --- ************** i'm totes sold out! in 5mins OMJ!!!!******************
L x
p.s Mine and lacym3's roundmound entry has gone up – so that's another 5.6k words of catonspeed awesomeness of WIN to read ;)
My teaser: "Poor Emmett. They ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti. He had such promise!"
Lacym3's teaser: "Well, I dont think the good lord had this in his draft of the bible Genesis, Exodious, Leviticus....RoundMound 101?"
Oh yeah... and we've called it "Master Cuddlecock" because we can (twatter joke for those not cool enough to be found on there mwahahaha!). And it's funny as fuck! Tee hee!
Read it here - http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5506954/1/ and leave us a review!!! (because it will make me love you long time...)
One very last thing: NCChris says I need a disclaimer before this starts – because she actually almost died – choked on a fucking Coke! So there... consider yourself warned.
Now... ONWARDS!
JPOV
She feels so right, here in my arms. I almost don't want to put her down. Her warmth wraps me up whole and stops the circle jerk of a mindfuck going on inside my brain. None of us had realised she'd fallen asleep until that last slice of pizza landed with a slap on the floor from her unfurling hand.
Her eyes meet mine as she lazily blinks at the change of light from the living room into the darkened hallway. I continue through to the room already layered with her scent, eyes focused on her face all the way. That room is hers in every way that counts now, for as long as she wants it.
Pulling her tight to my body, and leaning her on my chest like a child, I carefully turned back the covers, and gently lay her down on the bed, softly tugging the covers up around her.
She's too fucking pale.
She'd always been pale for a human, but only her hair and eye lashes, and the glow of the moonlight on her translucent skin, distinguishes her from the white bedding.
It's not fucking right.
My body detects a third person in the room before my mind can catch up.
"I don't know how things went down in your day Jasper, but these days they arrest pervy old men who watch young women sleep. There was a whole segment on Cops on it last week..."
Fucking Charlotte.
I put her to bed and suddenly I'm a perv?
Do you really want me to answer that? 'cause number one, listen back to what you just thought... Yeah. Thought so. And two, we've got some stories from back in the day... remember those twins at that little cantina in Mexico in the summer of 1871? Now that was a good year for us. Good times...
You know things are for shit when even the voices in your head are calling you out.
"Come on; let's head out for a bit. She's ok now. We'll look after her; everything's going to be fine Jasper"
Everyone keeps saying that, but it doesn't make any of this easier to process. She's definitely not going anywhere, even if I have to tie her to the bed to keep her here – she's not heading out there alone again. At least I've had these two. She's had nobody; and I'm not the only one who's going to make sure of that. Peter has been oozing out this odd combo of camaraderie, pride, and love – but he's a freaky motherfucker anyway. The real testament, and I don't know how she's done it, is Charlotte. That's the quickest she's has ever taken to anyone. There is a bond of family already. Not that she's a bitch like Rose could be, but it takes something special for her to feel the way she feels looking at Bella right now. Took me a few years... admittedly I was kicking the shit out of her and whipping her into a war machine for, well, pretty much all of that time, but I'm truly a part of them now, as they are of me.
"Stop giving me that look Jasper. She fits. We all feel it."
She tenderly brushed a stray hair from Bella's forehead, and then moved round the bed to wrap an arm around me.
"We'll be right there with the two of you all the way on this. But, right now there's a pride of pussys for you to chow down on in the next state, and Peter and I have a date with a biker gang that's been making hay in the area. He's been looking for a new bike for a while, so two birds, one stone and all that..."
They might give me shit for my eating habits, but there's nothing but pride and affection there. There never is anything else. No doubt. No lack of trust. No second glances. Even if I did fuck up they would still be there. They are my family. We look out for one another, and will bring the pain to anyone who fucks with that. We're survivors of one of the devil's personal whores, and that bonds you. Looks like we've gained another member.
For the first time in a long time, I can't wait to see what happens next.
First though, I need to eviscerate some shit; and those mountain lions will make a fine starting point.
My muscles bunch and tense in anticipation, waiting for the adrenaline that will never run.
The desolate woods and wastelands of Texas are not the place to be tonight.
With one last glance back, we're out the door and running into the night.
She'll still be there when you get back.
BPOV
Le-fucking-sigh! I didn't dream this beauty up - it exists! Oh bed, you complete me. You of the silky soft sheets of fluff, I heart you long time baby. I wouldn't even charge you for sucky sucky...
I languidly stretch out, feeling that first movement of the day ripple and sigh through every inch of me. It tingles. I feel...good. Huh! They should recommend this shit to the drug companies - soft pillows and a fuckton of cheese... I can see the advert now... I think those sparkly future tigers of mine would make an appearance. Maybe they'd be riding mini bicycles in their waistcoats, as the dancing cheese slices revolve around them in synchronised circles... There needs to be one hell of a theme tune though, otherwise it'll just look odd.
I'm interrupted from my stretchfest and genius of a marketing plan by a pair of mischievous ruby eyes, that pop up at the side of the bed like a submarine.
Peter.
Who is still wearing the kittypire getup.
I tap on the bed and call to him.
"Here kitty, kitty..."
That's never going to get old.
I'm suddenly airborne as he pounces on the mattress; and he deftly catches me mid air as gravity takes effect on his launch o'bella. We're almost instantaneneously in the kitchen, and I find myself being placed on a stool as I re-enter the atmosphere. Engage booster flares!!! My stomach is still wrapped up in the sheets, and my brain has not yet opened for business. Fuck off, we're very much closed.
Oh god... that cheese would be making its way back up if it hadn't coalesced into a ball in my gut. I have to bend over, with my head between my legs on the chair to stop shit from spinning. There is two of everyone, and that's two too many this close to waking up.
"One of you smack that whisker faced bastard - I can't do it as hard as I'd like."
There's a double resounding echo of a crack that brings me nothing but satisfaction, and I look up to see Peter scowling at Jasper, and pouting at Charlotte, whilst rubbing the back of his head. Jasper looks fucking amused and is smirking away like a champ.
"What the fuck – you told me to check if she was awake yet!"
My stomach rumbles again.
I'm still hungry?!?
If memory serves me right, by my calculations I should have one more slice of that pizza kicking around, and nothing beats cold pizza first thing.
"Coffee. Pizza. Give."
I wave my arms in a hurry the fuck up motion, because it feels like my insides are going to digest themselves, and the only way to counteract the morning after effects of a cheese hangover, is more cheese, with a side of cheese. Hair of the dog that bit you and all that.
"What do you say?"
Now...? Jokes before caffeine do not compute Peter.
It's Jasper who drops the bombshell though.
"You dropped it on the floor. That shit went in the bin."
Oh. My. God.
"You're fucking quick – you didn't think to catch it? And there's the whole three second rule! What the hell guys?!? I hope you have a car then, because I'm no good before feeding and watering, and Bella Swan does not run. Ever."
I look down at my feet. Someone has put shoes on them. When the fuck did that happen? These are not mine though... but I'm keeping them; they've got cute little bows and a midsized heel on them, and they fit me like a glove.
"Especially not in these shoes; and I'm certainly not riding any of you like a horse."
I turn and point at Jasper.
"You. You still owe me dinner from the shower, so get your wallet out - you're buying."
Peter darts past all of us, and I catch something floating past on the wind.
"I'm driving!"
Jasper rolls his eyes in the direction Peter has just scampered off in, and shakes his head in distain. I shoot a questioning look at him, but he just gestures for me to go outside to where the rumble of an engine is drawing rapidly closer as I move through the hallway. I've clearly missed something there. Nice decor... Someone's been watching Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, and then added a touch of class.
I cross the threshold of the open front door, and I'm not sure where to look.
The scenery is beautiful.
There are rolling plains of fields and brush, edged on three sides by mountainous outcroppings that soar in an array of golden browns and reds from the earth. The sky is a swirling mass of scrawling thunder clouds, blown by gusts of wind, that blast humid air at my face.
That's all secondary.
All I can see is the truck in front of me.
The bright yellow Chevrolet Silverado SS.
That has been done up as an exact replica to something I never thought I'd see in real life, let alone fucking Texas.
Hotrod red flames lick backwards from the shiny chrome plated front grill, and curly cursive script declares 'PUSSY WAGON' at the back in this garish pinkie red that's piped with white, that just screams the words at my eyes.
Peter is leaning all casual, one arm out the window of this bastardised beast.
I have no response.
I simply gape at him…
…and the truck.
Ok, mainly the truck. It's fucking all I can see now.
"What? It goes with today's look."
His hand gestures at the shit still attached to his face and head. And I have to admire his Vulcan logic – Spock would concur.
Fuck it! The truck has style. That leaves only one thing to do...
"Shotgun!!!"
I scamper off giggling like a naughty child to the door Peter has just thrown open for me. I quickly settle myself into the plush red leather seats that hug and hold me, as they mold themselves to my body. My fingers run hungrily over the dashboard. God, he'd got every detail just right. I'm molesting the interior when doors click open and shut, and Jasper and Charlotte slide into the back seats. Assholes and their super speed! No fair!
I feel like something's missing though... but Peter has figured it out, because he hands me the coolest motherfucking pair of gold wire rimmed, reflective aviators that I have ever seen, and carefully slides them onto my face for me, before whipping out a pair for himself.
Now we're in business.
"So... is there a Wal-Mart around here?"
"There's one in Stockton, which is about a 20 minute drive in the P-Wag. Why?"
I lower the glasses down to the tip of my nose, and tilt my head towards him.
"Two birds, one stone, Peter. I'm all about the multitasking. Just drive."
Pushing the frames back up securely on my face, I tap the radio dial on, and the opening bars of 'Bad To The Bone' by George Thorogood & The Destroyers, twangs out, all steely and raw.
Perfect.
Four minutes and fifty seconds of contented silence later, it segways into '(Don't Fear) The Reaper' by Blue Öyster Cult – oh the irony! I'm riding in a car full of vamps, being hounded by Death, who's decided to take the form of cancer. It's when that moves into 'Won't Get Fooled Again' by The Who, that I realise this is a CD mix and not the radio, and the overarching theme here is my life, with a healthy dose of 'FUCK YOU!'
He's a fucking comedian that Peter.
"Nice. What else do we have on here..."
'Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival'
Flick
'Who Wants To Live Forever - Queen'
Flick
'The Final Countdown - Europe'
Flick
'Once Bitten Twice Shy - Ian Hunter'
I can't help but burst out laughing at that one, and I turn and smile at him. He grins back, all flashy teeth and mirrored eyes.
Flick
'Free bird' by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
That sobers me back up.
I let that one play.
You can't forward through 'Free bird'. It's law.
The truck rolls on down the highway, with the words and guitar riffs floating melancholy and heavy on the air, as the low clouds continue to threaten their rain on the open horizon. Nobody speaks, but silence is comforting, as all the P-Wag passengers sit back and drink that shit in. My fingers rest on the open window, playing with the ribbons of air that pass through my waving fingertips, as we cruise at an easy Mach 4.
We enter Stockton as the last notes ring out, and quickly pull into the car park of the red, white, and blue monstrosity. Hello, great American pastime. Time to pull out 'The List' I think, I've got a few items left on there. The truck barely stops before I'm off out the door, with the rest of them scrambling to keep up at their mock human speed.
"Come on! Time's a-wasting!"
I dig into my pocket, and pull out a threadbare piece of paper, that's been taped together multiple times like a patchwork quilt. I suppose in some ways it is, this is how I marked time and travel, before I ended up in the hospital. Thought I'd never get to finish it. I'm smoothing it out as we pass through the automatic doors, ready to check my status.
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
X 2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
X 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in house wares"... and see what happens.
X 5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
X 6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
X 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
X 9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
X 11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
X 12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
X 13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
X 15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
X 16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
They've gathered round me as I survey my options. Maybe they can make themselves useful and knock some more of these off... The bag boys are gawking at us, and it takes me a minute to remember that Peter doesn't usually sport facial accessories. I think. Hell, who knows! Hope this isn't his local for any 'cover purchases' they make though, I've been banned from the last three Wal-Mart's I entered.
"Awww hell!" I point out number 5 to them "You know that bag of M&M's is still in Ohio if you ever find yourself that way and have a spare 99 cents. It was 1% deposit day – I couldn't resist."
Jasper gestures to take a closer look, and I pass it on as I grab a basket. I need food too – hopefully I can get that before security tosses us out.
"Oh Jasper! Number 10! Number 10 was made for you! I'd ask you to do number 8, but the whole no tears fuck that one right up. And you know what, it's a shame Fuckward was such a cunt teasing, cock sucking, asshole, because hello? Number 14 baby!"
Jasper looks a little taken aback by my casual referencing of he-who-must-not-be-named. Whatever. This is my life, it happened. Nothing can change it. And that shit would be hilarious. End of.
I turn to Peter and Charlotte.
"If you two don't want to watch me hunt, you can take care of number one for me..."
I'm ready to pull the big glassy eyes out of the bag, but their faces light up, and they're off eyeing up potential victims.
I fucking love Wal-Mart.
Now. I need some vittles, and Whitlock is buying, so it's nothing but the good stuff.
JPOV
I've been following Bella around the store, watching in horrific fascination as she parades from aisle to aisle, putting the most god-awful smelling, and brightly boxed shit in her basket. I had no idea chocolate could be put into so many items. Fruit, bread, biscuits, milk... Christ! The list goes on! Being a vampire is easier than picking out this shit – hell, if it's furry, moves on four legs, and can't talk its fair game! Except horses, a man's got to have limits. But she's just spent ten minutes looking at two identical fucking boxes, having who knows what kind of a discussion in her head, as one boxes moves up in one hand, and then back down as the other goes up. Up and down, up and down. This process has been going back and forth, back and forth. How much sugar can one person need? Would it kill her to pick up something healthy?
Oh.
Guess it wouldn't...
She's finally come to a decision though.
Both boxes go in the basket.
I can't help the snort that shoots out of my nose. Bella responds by snaking a hand out and grabbing another box, whilst raising an eyebrow at me. I raise one right back – you're not the only one who can pull off that look Miss Bella.
"Seriously? It's buy one get one free. On KitKat's, Jasper. Do you know how rare it is to find KitKat's, in Walmart? In a Wal-Mart in Texas none the less? And not only KitKat's, but CHUNKY white KitKat's?!?"
She raises a hand and scrubs tiredly at her face, whilst muttering under her breath.
"God I'm explaining this to the wrong person. If you didn't comprehend the magic that is Toblerone, this is way out of your league... heaven forbid we ever come across Malteaser's..."
Bella and her fucking candy. It's like watching one of those car crash documentaries on TV. This must be a new development; Edward would have pitched a shit fit if this obsession was going down when he was fucking her over. God, the number of bitch rants about the youth of today I'dhad inflicted on me. Thank fuck we were both outta there, it's only the circumstances that sucked ass. We both carry scars from our pasts. It's just that most of mine litter the surface of my skin.
I rolled my eyes at the ridiculous shit in the basket again. She's not impressed by this.
"Come on Emosper, let's go fuck with the good people of Walmart – I want number ten off the list."
Emo. I hate that word.
"I'm not fucking emo."
Fucking stupid power...
"Jasper. I wouldn't be surprised if you invented 'emo'. Quit your pouting! What would you prefer? Sensitive? Awww my precious little flower!"
She's attempting to smoosh my cheeks, but they won't so much as dent for her feeble swipes at finding purchase on my skin there.
"Fuck you, Swan!"
I'm all fucking man.
Don't, whatever you do, say that shit out loud– she'll bury you, and so will I.
"You wish, Jasper."
She winks at me, all sorts of amused, and then grabs me by the hand and tries to drag me off to the hunting department.
I don't think so.
BPOV
He's holding his hand out to me.
What the fuck does he want?
"Give me the basket – you've got too much shit in there, and it's heavy."
I'm sorry, when did I suddenly become incapable of holding my own shit? I don't think so. He can't have caught my face of doom though, because he just keeps going...
"I'm looking after you, stop being difficult, woman, and accept it!"
*403 error!*
"Woman? What the fuck do I need a man for? Are you trying to tell me I needed a man to take care of myself?!? I had the goddamn rabbit! You might be the all new 'Rodeo Ken', but I buckle bunny for no one – I told you when I got here I'm not a fucking pet Jasper! I don't need looking after."
Woah, femsplosion! But I've been looking out for myself for years now. I have to remind myself that not everyone has an ulterior motive for trying to be nice to me. Not sure where those fuckers have been though, but it's a fucking reflex reaction now.
"For fuck's sake, Bella! I don't see you as a fucking pet."
The word spits like acid, and I flinch inside, knowing he's thinking about Alice in that moment.
"You've never been a pet to me! Damn woman, I know you can look after yourself, just let me carry the damn basket and then maybe buy you the food. Please."
God. He's pulling out sad face, and the big big eyes, and for someone who can't fucking cry, it's breaking me. Considerate, no good, charming, rat bastard.
"Fine," I manage to squeeze out through gritted teeth, "Thank you."
I feel dirty just saying it. Can't believe I'm apologising here.
Then he smirks, and pulls it out of my hands, and starts to drag me off.
That's when I realise I've just been played.
Fucking vampires.
"There. Was that so hard?"
He jokes, too?
"You're on thin ice here, Whitlock, don't push it..."
He's a cheeky bastard when he wants to be. I think I like this Jasper.
A tiny smile plays at my lips as he gently tugs me through the labyrinth-like maze of displays. We should have swiped a ball of string and tied it to the front door. His sense of smell is pretty fucking handy though, because we're suddenly in front of a highly polished display counter, which has an arsenal of weaponry laid out like a mailman's personal wet dream.
Jasper stops at a highly lit display, and runs a finger over the glass top, inducing a squeaking noise, as his rock hard hands grate against the glossed glass. He actually cocks a leg, and leans on the counter, gesturing at this giant fuckoff rifle, that lies nestled on a bed of red velvet. He cocks his head at the server who has scampered up like an eager puppy, and puts on a pensive face.
I can't wait to see what he does.
"Do you think Jesus would use this?"
The helper actually goes to reach for the manual under the desk to check... Fucking hell! Then pauses.
"I don't know, Sir, but I do know if Jesus owned a gun, it would be made in America"
I can't swallow back the laughter at that! Oh God, I can't watch this! But Jasper must sense my need to escape, because his hold is like an iron grip. That fucker is going down. I'm actually in danger of peeing myself here.
"You know what, you've got some lovely things here that would help me take care of a few little altercations I've been having with the neighbours, God..." he smacks his palm to his forehead, "I mean wildlife. But, I think I'll have a think. Do you know if I can get my prescription for antidepressants filled here?"
"Of course. The pharmacy is at the end of aisle 11, next to the gas cylinder refills. You have a nice day now! Good luck with those pesky critters!"
Jasper gives the man a halogen smile that creeps me the fuck out, and then skips off with me in tow. Actual fucking skippage. I may or may not have wet my pants... I can't actually tell.
We round the aisle out of sight, and he has to lean on a display of Cap'n Crunch for support. That bastard.
He quickly recovers, and looks me dead in the eye with a straight face, before pulling my list out of his pocket, magicking a pen from somewhere, and ticking that one off, before handing it back to me.
"Come on, let's go buy your mountain of sugar, before that fucktard engages his brain and calls security."
Wouldn't be the first time...
I want the candy land that inhabits my basket, so we make our way towards the front of the store. Jasper tries to sneak an apple in there, but I throw that straight back at him. He catches it, but I make my point.
I'm distracted from my thoughts of payback by the reappearance of Peter in the checkout line. Who apparently can't understand simple instructions. Retard. His basket is overflowing to the brim with loose condoms – he's emptied out god only knows how many boxes in there. Its veritable visual eyecandy of colours and flavours, he got quite the selection apparently.
"Peter! You were supposed to put them in other people's baskets!"
I'm not crossing it off the list if it's not done right!
"I did Swan.
And... you're up, so think fast!"
He pulls out the vampire speed and dumps the contents into my basket as it rolls forwards on the conveyor belt, with the departure of the customer in front of us.
Well played Peter, well played.
The till monkey picks the basket up, meets my eyes and smirks at me.
I was almost tempted to flounce on outta here and guilt trip that fucker Peter into making me upset. Yeah, I'd play the cancer card. What good is it if I can't play that bitch from time to time? Fucking depressing, that's what. But you know what, there's KitKat's in the bottom of that basket, and I want them. And till monkeys do not get to look down on me – I'm not that one in the polyester vest. It's on now bitch.
How to play this, how to play this...
Ohhhh Peter. You've just been made the Bonnie to my Clyde. Yeah, he's definitely the bitch in this situation.
I put my hand on the till monkeys arm to halt his gawking at my basket, and read his badge.
"Hi, My name is Dave'! How can I help you today?"
Poor Dave. Life and that exclamation mark at the end of your name there, hate you today.
I wink at him and gesture for him to wait a moment, before sticking my hand in the top of the basket and swirling those condoms around like candy with one finger. The packets crackle and rustle as they slide and rub up against one another. I suck my bottom lip between my teeth and bite down gently, turning slightly to face Peter.
"My dove... is this going to be enough for the weekend? And I don't see the Very Cherry lube in here, do we still have some at home? I don't want to run out and go dry again, your ass wasn't the same for weeks – I told you we should have used the smaller strap on, but no, you wanted your ass to get fucked."
I raise a hand to my mouth and stage whisper to Dave.
"He likes to bottom, you know."
Peter is stunned.
Didn't see that coming did ya! Charlotte is trying really hard to hold herself together. I turn to Jasper and trail a hand up his thigh.
If I'm doing this I'm going all out. Bella- Fucking-Swan takes no prisoners.
"What about you, honey? Do we have everything we need to fuck Peter with?"
Our earlier fiscal disagreement is apparently forgotten and Jasper's decided he wants in on this one. He wraps an arm around my waist, drawing me hard up against him, my soft body moulding to the hard lines of his. Apparently, Jasper was quite well built when he was turned, because I'm getting front row tickets to the gun show now,and it's all access. His finger tips run electric up and down my arm, as he trails his nose up my neck to press a light kiss to my pulse point, before patting me on the ass and turning me back to Dave.
"I think we're all good, sugar."
Where is Jasper the emo pussy and who the hell has replaced him? My heart is trying to go ten to the dozen inside my chest, as it attempts to beat its way back into the circle of his arms, whilst my legs carry me forward. God help any lady he intentionally turns that shit on at. Poor Dave is not faring well either though, but I'm doing a distinctly better job at hiding it – score one for the weakened body, because apparently my heart can only go so fast these days, so I know I'm not embarrassing the shit out of myself right now!
This is clearly better than the 5 minute preview Dave gets at midnight. He's panting shallow laboured breaths on his chair, his skin flushed, pupils dilated, with a light greasy sheen misting his forehead as he takes in the show. I wonder what part had the most effect? He was hanging in there until the talk of bottoming... Note to self: Bella, ask Jasper at which point he creamed himself later.
"Ok Dave, we're all good, ring me up!"
I throw in another wink for Dave, and slowly outline my top lip with my tongue. Mmmm, I taste like cherry lip gloss. Dave shakily starts to take out and scan through each individually wrapped condom, his eyes unfocused and burning at my mouth, before giving up and dumping the whole basket into a bag, thrusting it at me, and running off towards the back of the store.
Hells yes, free KitKat's! Bella Swan for the win! Time to bask in the glow of my victory.
"Looks like I outsmarted you this time Peter, snarfer snarfer snarfer!"
POW bitch!
"Did you just Thundercat me?"
Finally, someone who gets the magic of the 80s! It had been running through my head since the ears and tail went on last night – I think I'm going to miss it when they come off later.
"Yeah. Yeah I did."
Now... I think there was a decent looking liquor store I saw next door on the way in... 'Apache Liquors'. I bet the Indians are so fucking proud...
JPOV
Miss Bella. The devil in angel's clothing. Although there's nothing pure about her ass in those jeans. I feel like I should be ashamed for staring at them, but I can't bring myself to be. She's not that little girl anymore, and I'm not that pussy she barely knew anymore. Well I'm trying hard not to be.
I hadn't been paying attention until her hand was practically on my cock. She'd leaned forward and her shirt had risen up, showing off the tiniest sliver of skin at the base of her spine, which drew my eyes like lasers. Barely anything, but damn, just that peek exploded some seriously dirty scenarios in my mind... At which point I quickly caught up with the shit going down and ran with that bitch. There are so few times you get to pull something over on the fucker, so I was in. Plus, it wasn't a terrible hardship to get better acquainted with her newly adult form when I was fully compos mentis.
This was a surprisingly, dare I say it, fun day. Who knew shopping could be this fucking funny. Admittedly we'd never be allowed back here. They were probably pulling our images from the security footage for later refusal, but like we'd ever be coming back! Plus, there was another one in Pecos we could finish her list with...
She practically skips out the automatic doors that slide and sigh open for her. She turns and spins in a stray ray of sunshine that breaks through the clouds, and her smile is beautiful – she looks so alive...
Then she sways almost imperceptibly, her eyes roll back in her head and she crumples like a puppet to the floor.
AN. Did I just cut your strings? :p
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*403 error* - Forbidden. There's some compooter geekery for you.
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http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5506954/1/
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because it will make me love you long time, and i won't charge for sucky sucky either like Bella-Fucking-Swan ;)