AN. In the words of AngstGoddess003, "Fellatio common among fruit bats, says research."
That is all.
Nah... that's not all, but it's a short AN this time – They've moved the 'Round Mound of a Beehound' entries over to Fanfiction, so you can read and vote on the piece at the below link – it's crackfic, and if you don't find it funny you should seek medical assistance. For realz, there is something wrong with you ;) if you thought drink spillage on the last chapter of TLM was bad, you need to clear all liquids in your vicinity for that piece of fuckery http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5506954/1/
Oh and I've immortalised the other half of my brain, one lifelesslyndsey in this chapter, because she rocks my socks, and I heart her! Go spank her on the ass and say hello from me ;)
The end.
L x
p.s I was recc'd by the jaspersdarlin's this week and promptly fell off my chair - you ladies popped ma rec cherry... I feel a little diiiiiiirty now... I like it!
p.p.s Oh, and some of you were asking if that revenge on flatmate was completed. Yeah... she got hers. But then she initiated a jump war on me, and there is now a battle field operating within the confines of our humble abode. Flak jackets and ammo are recommended upon entry, and our friends have been divided into camps. Fraternising with the enemy is strongly frowned up. I'm 3-1 up after some excellent cupboard work. I fucking rule. End of ;)
JPOV
There are few moments in life where you find yourself standing there frozen in a moment, your mind quiet and vacant as life barrels on by you like a mack truck, the gravitational pull tugging something deep down inside of you along with it in its wake.
Now I've lived a long fucking time, but most of mine can be attributed to the waif of a girl who has just introduced her face to the tarmac in front of me. I can see her falling, I know the sun is shining, I know I can reach her; I wouldn't even give a damn about disco balling the other eight people in the parking lot. I'm quick. They'd never see me coming, and I'd make sure they wouldn't feel a thing. But I'm frozen. She's ripped my heart out on her way down, and it's bleeding out on the ground between her spasming fingertips, each jerk of her muscles squeezing out a little more life out.
The fall is poetic. Strands of her hair whip by one another and shine in the play of light, the fabric of her clothes rustles like leaves in an autumn storm. Her body slumps and arcs with an unnatural balletic grace before gravity extends its claws upwards, claiming her for its own.
I am trapped inside myself, watching this play out.
Not her. Not her. Not her. Not HER.
She is finally at one with the glittering black stone, the contrast of her pale skin and the glassy flecs would be beautiful in any other setting but this, as her body shakes and her eyes roll back in her head.
I still can't move. Why can I never move?
Sounds and air rush back at me as Peter quickly moves forward and snatches her up from the ground.
That should be me.
"Do you think her three second pizza rule applies here?"
His hands gently brush down the dirt that has smeared her jeans. I watch each pass of his fingers, the sounds of his skin grating over every stitch and weave of the fibres, the crunching of particles as the whorls of fingerprints pry the dust and particles away. I want to remove his hands and wear them from my belt.
"It's just a little dirty, it's still good, it's still good."
He's waiting for a reaction, but, damn, he doesn't want the one that's crawling up my skin, the one that's telling me to destroy any part of him that's touching her. This man is my brother and I want him dead. It's not rational and I am employing everything in me not to take action.
He edges forward slowly and places her in my arms. His eyes never move from mine. Mine never move from her, or his hands.
My body sighs as I hold her. She's too still, but she's breathing. The need to mutilate him is trickling away.
It's now he chooses to slap me upside the head.
"Why didn't you catch her?!?"
Motherfucker! Am I the only one here?
"Why didn't I catch her?"
"Yes, fucktard! Oh wait... you've been too busy checking out her ass to notice she went and invented a whole new shade of white!" He smacks his hand to his face. "Silly me!"
She spasms once more and then stills. The clouds have returned, and the rain that had been threatening all morning was falling less than a mile away. I could see and hear it in the distance, and smell it in the air. Peter and Charlotte turned to each other, and then back to me with a quick muttered we'll get the car before darting off to it.
Bella's hair is a mess. My hand reaches out of its own volition and smoothes it back from her face, untangling the knots in the curls, each strand parting like silk between my fingers. This would be calming if I hadn't just witnessed her go through a massive seizure. I started off towards the truck that I can hear Peter and Charlotte have just started, my senses cataloguing every function of her body as it lies suspended once again between my arms. I can hear the blood whoosh through her heart, trickling under her skin, and feel the pulse of it where our skin meets. I can smell the chemical changes in her body as it fights to recover from the effects of the seizure, the light sheen of sweat that has formed on the surface of her skin, mixing with that undeniable scent of just plain Bella, and the lingering drugs in the system. Broken capillaries crawl slowly spiderlike over one cheek where it collided with the ground, conquering new ground millimetre by millimetre. It's barely anything, but it guts me that I've contributed to her pain at all.
I'm trying to manoeuvre Bella's limp form between two cars when this lady, sporting an 'I 3 Misha Collins 4EVA' t-shirt, cuts right in front of me yapping away on her cell, and dragging a three legged dog behind her, causing me to nearly drop Bella.
"$12 for .5 oz lotion that will dry my skin out more before it goes away, may cause bleeding, and makes me itch for a whole day. Yeah! Who doesn't want to pay to be itchy and dry and smell like meat? I'm Beef fucking Jerky!"
She fucking smells like it too.
We're fucking dancing round each other and she's moving in my way.
Every.
Fucking.
Time.
I'm gonna bite that bitch if she doesn't move out the way.
I must have been putting out the pissy vibes because her head snaps right up and surveys me like I'm the fucking problem. Her eyes narrow at the checked out girl in my arms, and laser in on the redness that has now bloomed like a flower upon her cheek.
Her suspicion skyrockets, and I'm surprised I can't hear the wheels clicking away in her head and the sirens barrelling towards us in the distance.
Awww fuck! I look like a goddamn kidnapper here!
I gesture back toward the store with my head at this woman.
"It's those low low prices, too much excitement for her!"
I push all the trust and fluff at that bitch I can, and her head bobbles like one of those nodding dogs as she turns and stumbles off, high as a fucking kite at the chill-the-fuck-out vibes I'd been hitting her with, dragging that dog behind her.
Ok, maybe this shit was handy from time to time.
Time to time? You could use it to get into chicks pants! It's a fucking awesome power you fool! You could take over the world!
I finally make it to the truck, which had been pulled out of the bay and is waiting, the engine roaring even in its idling state, and the back passenger door open waiting for us. I manoeuvre the two of us into the backseats with the utmost precision, and pull her close to me as we lurch forward, peeling out of the lot.
I'm so fucking grateful I got bored that summer of 2001 and went through the entire medical section of the Carlisle's library, because I could register the severity of what had just happened to Bella, but could at least see she was coming back out of it, her skin already flushing lightly with the blood her system was frantically pumping around. The full extent wouldn't be known until she came back around, which she should...
The lines of my face are defiant, commanding. I'm doing this no matter what.
"I'm going to offer to turn her."
I feel like I should be meeting some resistance from them, other people would. I snap a lid shut on that thought though. They just nod in agreement, no flicker in their constant emotions, before Charlotte pipes in with her two cents.
"I don't think you'll have a problem. Chemo juice tastes rank, but we'll pull you off her if you start looking like you're going to go postal"
Peter nods his head in the driver's seat, and adjusts the mirror so he can see us in the back seat. He's radiating a massive amount of protectiveness that's directed at Bella. They'd both make sure nothing went wrong. I damn well would make sure of that, too; but they would be there to back me up if I needed it.
I trace the evidence of Bella's last bite with a fingertip. It blemished her otherwise perfect skin. Not obvious to anyone else but a vampire. This will go, but my own teeth marks will imprint themselves on her forever.
Unless she says no.
Holy fuck! What if she says no?!? What if she doesn't want to fight anymore? What if she doesn't want to live? What if she doesn't want to stay with us? With me? She can't give up. I don't want her to give up. I don't want to give her up. Not now. Not now she's here, and I've held her in my arms, and we've laughed. What the fuck would I do with this mountain of fucking candy and condoms! She said we'd fix this, that they'd pay. She has to live. Fuckshitdamnit! She's not allowed to quit!
Peter shifts suddenly in his seat and my eyes meet his in the rear view mirror.
"Whitlock, what do you think you're doing back there?"
I raise her wrist to my mouth. Fucking saving her, that's what.
A breath draws sharply in beneath me.
I freeze.
Her eyelids flutter like startled butterflies before flashing open, those big brown eyes pan like search lights, confusion painting her features before landing on my face, and then down to her wrist.
"Jesusfuck Whitlock! Take that out of your mouth! Drop it!"
Shit.
"I'm just checking your pulse?"
That sound believable right? Damn, why did it have to come out like a question!
Ummm... Nice try, but not even Britney would buy that pile of horse shit, and that bitch was married to K-Fed.
I curse Alice again that I even know shit like that.
"What? With your tongue? I must have missed that technique during first aid."
I manage to look suitably abashed. I'd be blushing right now if I still could.
"And why the fuck does my ass hurt?"
Her eyes level at me in a way that suggests I've violated her whilst she was unconscious. I fucking wish.
Me too Jasper, me too.
At least she's focusing on that right now, and not the fact that she came to with me basting her wrist with my tongue. She scrambles back off my lap to the other side of the truck, wincing with every movement, scowling at me like I just told her they'd stopped making KitKats or some shit. I want to drag her right back into my lap; my body feels the loss of her heat already.
"Emopire wasn't paying attention"
Oh, thanks, Peter. Thanks very much.
Bella looks momentarily confused and then realisation breaks across her face like a wave.
"I should have eaten something in the store; I pass out when I get low blood sugar!"
She digs into one of the bags on the floor and pulls out one of those KitKats, momentarily molesting the shiny red wrapper, before shredding it with her nails, and shoving it into her mouth... The whole thing may as well be in slow motion to me as she wraps her lips around the candy bar.
Focus Jasper!
Good god! What the hell is happening to me!
"Bella. That was not fainting. That was a massive fucking seizure."
It's not polite to swear at a lady, but she's just fucking shrugged like it's not a big deal.
BPOV
Ow! My ass, my side, my arm, and did I mention my ass? They burn! Motherfucking useless sparklepires! I should be appreciating the humanity of their ability to be fallible, but right now I wish one of them engaged the brain for a minute there and caught me before I introduced myself to the ground. We're well acquainted already, we don't need further introductions – we're the ex-lovers who skirt the opposite sides of the room at parties in order to meet the required court appointed distance so we don't get the po-po involved.
"What part of brain tumour don't you get? This shit happens. Next time, throw a cushion under me, or here's a thought..." I rubbed my chin in contemplation and then smack a look for surprise on my face "CATCH ME!"
The concept can't be that difficult, maybe I need to draw up flash cards or some kind of graphs and charts for them to illustrate this:
Bella + bruises = Pissy Bella
Pissy Bella = No fun for anyone
No fun for anyone = Unleashing of special powers of annoyance
Unleashing of special powers of annoyance = The Great Hospital Scandal of 2012
The doctor was careful where he waved that stethoscope of his after that little run in...
"We could sidestep all of that and you could just become a vampire."
Two simultaneous face slaps resounded from the front of the truck.
My brain must have just misfired or some shit.
"I'm sorry, Emopire says what? I think I just blacked out there for a second."
He's staring at me like I've missed something obvious...
He said that?
He said that and meant that?
"What the fuck! You just can't spring that kinda shit on a girl, Whitlock! Oh. My. God. You were going to bite me before I woke up there, weren't you! Jesus Christ on a pogo stick you have some serious boundary issues!"
I can feel my heart rate rising again and attempt to bring that fucker under control before I end up spending most of the day passed out, lost in the inner battlefield of my mind.
"What's so wrong with that? You wouldn't have to worry about the cancer; you'd be stronger, faster, and more capable."
Where the fuck do I begin with that?
"Oh, how about MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED MY MOTHERFUCKING PERMISSION BEFORE YOU ATTEMPTED TO GO ALL HANNIBAL LECTER ON ME!"
In my peripheral vision, I caught Peter sneaking a hand out and slapping the radio on. Jasper and I turned simultaneously to glare at him, and he shrank back under our combined gaze.
R Kelly wailed out of the speakers.
"My miiiiiiinds tellllllllling me nooooooo. But my boddddddyyyyy! My bodddddddyyyy's tellllllllllin' me yeeeeeaaaah!"
Oh Peter.
Still pinned under Jasper's stare, Peter reached his hand back out and tapped the off button.
What the fuck do you do with that? I went with laughing, because that asshole didn't half have timing. I slumped down off the vinyl seat to the floor amongst a sea of candy and condoms, panting for breath and slapping at my thigh.
A crack echoed through the car. I look up just in time to see Char retracting her hand, glaring at Peter.
"She's just had a massive seizure, and you want to make her pass out again? Some days I fucking wonder Peter. Whitlock. Fischer"
Uh oh spaghetti-o! That tone says 'you've fucked up, and you'll still be hearing about it later, when I stick my foot up your ass. Hard. And. Repeatedly.'
We're rolling back up the driveway, and I'm jumping out of the truck, bag of candy in hand and heading for the house before we've barely stopped. Time really does fly when you're having fun. Of course Jasper decides now that he's going to move like the wind, and catches up with me, snatching the bag from my grasp and steering me through the front door, and into the sitting room. I look back and Peter and Charlotte have made themselves scarce. Pussies. They'll be hearing from my lawyer as soon as I find an employ one.
He puts the bag down at the entrance to the room, and walks me to one of the leather armchairs, before pulling the coffee table up in front of it and taking a seat.
"Bella. I would have taken that step if you didn't come to. You're not well, and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you now, to something like this cancer bullshit after everything that's come at you. I made a snap decision, now you may not like it, but the pros outweighed the cons."
Well that's easy for you to say, Bitey McBiterson! I made no attempt at hiding the contempt and annoyance on my face. I've had enough of people making decisions for me. Jasper sighed, and in an almost human gesture, tiredly ran his hand over his face and through his hair, before breathing deeply and meeting my eyes through a curtain of lashes and loose curls.
"I know we never really spoke before, but what do you know about me?"
I run through the catalogue of Jasper facts in my mind, and the file is pretty thin. I'm still pissy with him though, so I shrug my shoulders lightly, my arms crossed tightly across my chest.
"I didn't know if any of the others had ever told you anything..."
He looks a little uncomfortable. He started to fidget a little before gathering himself. I sat up a little straighter. Whatever this is, it's part of that darkness I saw in his eyes in the shower.
"They never said anything. Prissward said it was an invasion of your privacy, only that you were 'dangerous' - what a fucking joke."
I uncrossed my arms and made the relevant quote marks. He doesn't look amused. He doesn't look anything...
He steels himself and takes a deep unneeded breath.
What spills out of his mouth is a fucked up tale of a Mexican bitch that stole his life and systematically broke him down to the barest scraps of a man, before refashioning him for her own wicked purposes. The things she did to him, for him, in the name of him... she better hope I never come across her pale tanned ass, because we will have words. Strong motherfucking words! And ass kicking's, and the biggest fucking bonfire known to man, that's what!
I want to pull him into my arms and hold him as he talks about the hundreds and thousands that were trained and fell under his hands, as he employed the skills that had allowed him to save his brothers in the Civil War, to do her whimsical bidding. The death and destruction he spoke about wove in smoke like tendrils around us, his words painting a picture I could practically taste metallic bitter on my tongue. I tasted that every day for eight years, he'd had that every day for 149 years.
I just sat there, face wiped of all emotion to stop myself fracturing and crying for him, as he told me how one night they took out the remainder of his unit, the feeling of horror and then acceptance on a man he remembered laughing and joking with as he cradled him on the desert ground, after ripping out his throat. Then the ways that whore had rewarded him that night, with her body and her flesh. The words spilled from his mouth in a river, the dam firmly broken as he tracked through his life in a level of detail that only a vampire is cursed with the ability to relive.
My eyes were wide open, and I was completely filled with his words.
He never stood a chance. That bitch took advantage of his goodness at the side of that road in 1863, her and those bitches she called sisters – they are lucky they are dust in the wind already, because otherwise they'd have made the list too. Those first three days of burning were nothing compared to the horror that awaited him. She drowned him in the filth of those newborns, fully aware of what that would do to him, anyone would see that shit.
And then Alice, after all that, after all he'd been through, she throws him a lifeline of hope and then slaps him in the face with it again? He doesn't need tears, or forgiveness, he needs love, loyalty, a modicum of understanding! I didn't think it was possible, but the Cullen's have just gained another series of check marks in the fucked up column. Their pity and judgement was an insult.
Thank fuck for Peter. Both times. That man was getting a medal or something, because he saved him time and time again, and I would never be able to thank him enough for that. I would make damn sure nobody was ever in a position to hurt him like that again. Somehow Jasper's words had become my own, and were now imprinted on my soul along with my own – we were two sides of the same fucked up and fucked over coin.
His words stop.
He looks ashamed.
His head is hung low, waiting for that final blow from me, for the damnation, the judgement. It angers and cuts me that he expects that reaction.
"Jasper."
I extracted my nails from my palms, surprised they hadn't broken the skin, edged forward on the chair, and pull his face upwards to meet mine with my hands. He resists at first, but then relents.
He still won't meet my eyes.
I lean forward and kiss him gently on the cheek. This man has suffered so much, and he's still here. My lips burn as I pull back. He eyes me with wonder.
"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for."
His mouth opens and closes like a fish, desperately reaching for words he can't find. He finally reaches out a hand and gently squeezes mine, his eyes swirl with the words he can't utter.
"You've got nothing to be ashamed of. I understand now. Just give me some time to process this."
I gesture to my arm, stroking the wrist he was going to bite back in the truck. I do understand. I'm just not sure what I want to do yet. I pat him on the leg and walk out through the doors to the veranda outside. The sun is setting again, and the clouds loom tower-like from the mountain tops.
JPOV
It's been four hours. I'm normally a very patient man, and I know I said I'd give her some space, but what if she's passed out again? What if she's walked off, or talks herself out of this?
On any other occasion, I'd have relished the peace of being left with my own emotions, but as I'd been telling her my story, I'd never wished to feel something from anyone so badly in my life. I'd been waiting the entire time so something, some indication of how she'd take the shit that was just spewing out of my mouth, but she gave away nothing. Of course, it might have been a good thing, because I'm not sure if I could have got that all out if she'd interrupted, but anything would have been good. God forbid that woman ever plays poker, because she'd clean you out with that face.
She'd just sat back and accepted it all, and then kissed me on the cheek. It was the most innocent of contact and kisses, there was nothing sexual in that moment, but damn if it didn't melt a fissure of my heart back together.
I step outside looking for Bella. I couldn't wait for her anymore.
She's hunkered down in the padded cushions of the porch swing, swathed in the darkness that had settled in. Her eyes meet mine, large, shocked, and full of panic, gasping away at the air like it eluded her.
"Jasper..."
gasp
"...I don't..."
gasp
"...want to..."
gasp
"...die."
I darted over to her and wrapped my arms around her, tucking her head under my chin. She was shaking, but it had nothing to do with the cold. She was still fragile inside, that girl I knew in Forks was still in there, she wasn't as hardened as she made out to be.
She leaned into me and I pulled her fully into my lap. We sat there in silence, as I held her together in my arms.
It took a few minutes for her to get her breathing under control. I'd have been happy to stay here like this forever. She pulled her head out from under my chin and pulled back slightly to look up at me with those big wide eyes.
"OK, I'm in Jasper"
AN 2.0 – yeah... that little one at the top had more jonesing for more words... in the words of IdreamofEddy 'I have a length problem' ;)
Sorry this was so late again, The Fandom Gives Back distracted me big time, and then I got abducted by the ladies at alsltwilight(dot)blogspot(dot)com and then by my twitter h00rs at twiwrite(dot)blogspot(dot)com... I have been a big ball of FAIL *grovels at your feet* I'm like a magpie! Keep shiny things away from me! I'm going to move to an every other week update schedule so it's never a problem, and you know you're definitely getting stuff. I'm shunning all future kidnap attempts, and I've hired guards – they've got weapons and they aren't afraid to use them!
Fischer - that's for you Kaylene. Because I'm only borrowing your Peter, although I'd like to talk with you about shared custody, or cloning ;)
I have to send out a MASSIVE thank you to mauralee88 and NCChris, who locked down my FGB auction items in the first five minutes! Those ladies have obviously put in some serious finger work practice ;) MWAH!!!!! Also, MaitresseSaint for acquiring my blog pimpin' skillz Together you helped me raise $100 towards FGB and made me squee in the corner for a while... you bitches. Lol!
If you're looking for something to read between updates, go check out Sparrabella's 'The War Inside' - love love love this! It's suffering review drought and needs some tender loving care, so feel free to go lexically grope and dry hump it, they don't mind ;) It has hot broken marine Whitlock in it... 'nough said!
Ah! & that quote to Jasper when she kisses him on the cheek is Mr Kurt Cobain – I wish I could come up with those kind of words, but everything else I put there was a pale imitation