So yay! Next chapter within the same week Here's the last chapter based off the iPod and there's plenty of accompanying stuff not connected to the songs. As I said before, new poll on my profile that you should all check out!
To my reviewers: annablake, ana-12, LitPrincess2787, ggff-fan, GGfanficfan09, freaky-chick-108, and CarolinaGirl21. I love you guys!
Disclaimer: I have a hard back copy of every released Harry Potter book, but I do not own Gossip Girl.
Rated: T because I let things get smexy from time to time and I'm liberal with my language usage.
Thanks again to miragrace93 for the beta work!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 - Duke Hospital, Durham NC
As Chuck woke up, he found his neck was stiff. He was so tired of being cramped up in this hospital room. Chuck Bass wasn't meant to be contained. He toyed with the cell phone placed amongst some of his things on the bedside table. The cell phone was filled with contacts; Nate, Eric, Blair, Serena, Lily, his father, his lawyer, and several PIs. It was something his lawyer had dropped off immediately after he had discovered he was Chuck Bass but he had a feeling that the cell phone was Blair's doing; honestly it was a good thing that he'd had his lawyer's number memorized before the accident, he'd had to use it as his one phone call enough that it shouldn't be a surprise. There was only one other number he had memorized and this was one that wasn't located in the phone; Andrew Tyler, the single best PI in the continental US maybe the world. If there was something to be found, Tyler found it. Chuck had Andrew Tyler on permanent retainer and had called him immediately after Blair's first visit, ordering him to tail Blair without really knowing why. Now he knew. There was an ache deep in his gut that needed to be close to her, needed to be connected. That's why Chuck dialed Tyler's number and relaxed against the bed frame. After one ring, Tyler answered. "Is she still in North Carolina?" He asked, bypassing any greetings and cutting straight to business.
"No, she left yesterday afternoon." Tyler responded, momentarily worried about what Chuck's reaction might be. The young man was volatile on his best days and when it came to Blair Waldorf, Chuck Bass was damn near insane whether he remembered it or not. Chuck had hired him to tail Blair a few weeks back and it had been a surprisingly boring job, especially since this was the first time Chuck had called for an update other than one call a few days after the original order was placed.
Chuck nodded slightly; he hadn't expected her to still be in town. "What did she do before she left?" Chuck asked curious of what Blair had done all of Sunday and Monday if she only left Monday night.
Tyler withheld a sigh of relief, for once Chuck didn't seem angry. "She checked in at the Franklin Hotel before coming to the hospital to see you. After which she came back to Chapel Hill, ate lunch at the hotel restaurant before wandering around the college campus. She was back in her room before dinner and slept late the next day. Monday afternoon she went to the Carolina Coffee Shop, the same cafe she frequented on her previous visit, before going to the airport. She had a car waiting at LaGuardia when she got here and went straight home emerging today to have brunch at Gemma down in the Bowery. Right now she's feeding the ducks in Central Park."
Chuck narrowed his eyes slightly realizing that not once had Tyler mentioned that Blair had any company. "Has she spent any time with Serena or Nate?" Chuck asked knowing that those would be the people Blair would go to first; after all the four of them together compiled the Non-Judging Breakfast Club. Although, even as he said it he remembered from Blair's comments on the iPod that things had changed quite a bit. Jenny was a bigger part of her life now than Serena was, so he added a few other names to his original list. "Or Jenny, Dan, and Eric?"
"No, she doesn't talk to anyone. She's always alone." Tyler's response was direct and this time he knew that Chuck was going to react.
But Chuck surprised him. "Okay, that's all." He said before hanging up. It bothered him that Blair was spending so much time by herself; that wasn't good for her, she needed her friends. His mind made up about what he was going to do today; Chuck showered and put on a pair of actual clothes. As he pulled on a pair of khakis and a button down he couldn't help but think that he never dressed down this much; however a man wandering around Durham and Chapel Hill in a purple suit might attract a little too much attention. Chuck called a cab to the hospital before pocketing his cell phone, his wallet, and the iPod. Checking the hallway quickly and seeing that the coast was clear Chuck strode confidently out of the room, walking straight to the stairs. He needed to get off this floor quickly before someone recognized him. After all, he was still officially a patient of the hospital; therefore he shouldn't simply walk out. But he was Chuck Bass, which meant he didn't care.
Getting in the cab he gave the driver his destination, The Franklin Hotel, and placed his iPod earphones in, hearing his own voice once more. "Hey there. I know I told you how much I missed you in the letter but this song says it better. It was hard being back in the studio without you. I know I said this in my letter too Blair, but I thought you might like to hear it from me. I love you." For a moment he had to remind himself that this was to Blair because it was weird hearing himself say those words. The song playing wasn't one he knew, he assumed then that Come On Get Higher was recorded after November of 2007. It wasn't necessarily the type of music he would normally listened to but the beats felt right to him and the lyrics expressed the art of missing someone in a way that he had never once experienced, not even for his mother. I miss the sound of your voice, I miss the rush of your skin, and I miss the still of your silence as you breathe out and I breathe in. He didn't know that it was even possible to articulate that kind of absence, that kind of ache. Additionally, his affinity to the song was added in that it was rather sexual and he'd begun to think of Blair in a much dirtier way than he'd ever allowed himself before.
As the song closed he smiled because he knew that he was about to hear Blair's voice and he had discovered that the simple sound of her voice did things to him that the touch of another woman couldn't dream of doing. "Hey there yourself. If you remember, I told you that we were exchanging letters back and forth across the ocean, using Jenny so that we had a seemingly unrecognizable address to send to and from. Near Christmas you sent me a jumpdrive with this iTunes on it with a letter and you'd added this song to it to articulate the way you missed me. This song is especially special to me because it's not just what you sent to me, it's what you were playing when I arrived at my father's house and you surprised me there. That was one of the most surreal moments of my life. I convinced Marcus to let me visit my dads for Christmas and they had tipped you off and you had shown up. I had missed you so badly and then you were there and we were in love and everything was perfect. And on the topic of missing you, to quote one of my favorite movies. 'I think I'd miss you even if we never met' because I have to think that I would always feel the empty ache inside me that only you have ever been able to fill. So I guess I'm just hoping you miss me too." Chuck couldn't deny that he knew the ache that Blair was referencing. It was deep down in the very recesses of his being and if he allowed himself to pay heed to it, it was capable of causing indescribable pain and loneliness. It was the feeling that he drank to assuage since the time he was thirteen and he had the feeling that for Blair it was what drove her to her sickness.
Ready to forget his thoughts of the lingering ache that Blair claimed that he filled for her and she for him, Chuck was more than happy when the next bit of dialogue began; however he was expecting to hear his own voice again, leaving Chuck surprised that the voice was Blair's once more. "This is a song I've added into the mix. I recorded it last week. It's called Bette Davis Eyes and I've titled it Waking Up With You because this is the song that was playing on the radio when the alarm went off our first morning together in France. It sent me running to your room to wake you up, which I did in my own unique way; something my dad happened to walk in on. It's a special memory to me, so enjoy." Chuck could hear the smile in her voice and as the song played he knew that there must be a smile on his face as well. She had the most beautiful voice, it sent tingles up his spine and her threats in the song of what she was capable of had his mind thinking of her sexually all over again. She'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you. She's precocious and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush. He of course considered himself a pro and this song most definitely insinuated that Blair was just as good at the game of sexual escapades as he was. Lines such as She'll take a tumble on you, roll you like you were dice until you come out blue even led him to believe that she might be even better at the games than he was and he was the master; yet he knew that if any girl could leave him blue it would be Blair Waldorf. The entire song had his body in state of arousal and he was forced to shift to hide the tent forming in his pants from the cabbie.
With nothing more to add to what she said before, Blair didn't speak again at the end of the song; instead it was Chuck introducing yet another one of his. "This song represents the single happiest moment of my existence. It's the song I was playing when I proposed to you and you said yes. You are my life Blair, I hope you know that. There's no other woman I would ever even consider monogamy for much less marry but with you I picture that future, the white dress, the big church, all of it. I love you, God I love you." Chuck was shaking as the song began, him singing yet another song by Matt Nathanson, this one entitled Wedding Dress. His own words had his insides so twisted that he wasn't certain what to do. This wasn't a game, this wasn't a lie, this was real. There was a very real part of him that believed that Blair Waldorf was everything; he just wasn't sure where that part was. When the song finished Blair had another recap of sorts at the end. "I hesitated. When you asked me to marry you I hesitated because I didn't think it was possible, I thought we were in an inescapable situation. You convinced me otherwise and now it's my turn to convince you Chuck. We can get through this. Our love is strong enough to survive anything, even this. You said to me that night when you proposed that the knowledge that I would have chosen you was enough and you gave me the chain to wear the ring around my neck until the time came to put it on my finger. You wanted me to wear it that night but right then I made you a promise that I've likely already repeated to you. I promised that once that ring was on my finger I was never going to take it off. I told you that when you saw that ring on my finger you would know that it was time. The ring's on my finger Chuck. And for the record, you and this baby are my life too."
Chuck had to pause the iPod momentarily to pay the cab driver and get out, which he thought was probably a good thing. He was having quite the physiological reaction to Blair's words. He was breathing heavily, his hands were trembling and his heart was pounding furiously. A break of some sort was necessary. He looked up at the Franklin Hotel observing it for the first time; it was no Palace but he supposed that it was adequate for this . . . town. He thought deciding that town was the best word to use to describe Chapel Hill. Looking right he saw that the street entered what appeared to be a progressively rough part of town, looking left he saw what appeared to be the start of a college campus. He began walking in the latter direction, doing his best not to turn up his nose in the small town; though not quite understanding what exactly Blair saw in the place. Soon enough it was clear that he had entered the main street area of the campus as the street was filled with restaurants and bars, behind which was the college campus. He passed the Carolina Coffee Shop making a mental note to come back later in the day but continuing on as he thought he had finally seen what it was that Blair loved so much. Chuck had approached what appeared to be some kind of large grassy area with beautiful blooming trees and delicious architecture. He knew better than anyone how much Blair appreciated this sort of thing, add that to the solitude of the small town and this would be the ideal location for Blair to escape away from the crowding of their family and friends and the bustle of the city.
Walking over to a bench Chuck took a seat, unable to stop himself from wondering if Blair had sat here herself during the time she had stayed in town after her first visit. Relaxing with the knowledge that he felt close to her he mustered a bit of courage and pressed play again. "I failed you, again. I should never have had to record this song because we should be together by now. If I had been faster, if I hadn't been upstairs when the phone rang and you hadn't had to look for me; we could have made it. We could have run away from everything and escaped Marcus's clutches. I would have run with you forever if that's what it took. You are all I need." Once more Chuck was intimidated by the sheer emotional baggage that lay in his words. They were so heavy, they meant so much. And it wasn't only his words, it was the lyrics. I'll stay with you, the walls will fall before we do. So take my hand now we'll run forever, I can feel the storm inside you, I'll stay with you. The words were laden with promises that he didn't imagine he would ever make. He had told her that he would never abandon her, never want to leave her. Now come in from this storm and I taste you sweet and warm. Take what you need, take what you need from me. He offered her himself in a way that appeared unconditional and he knew by now that he'd meant every word he sung. And as the song concluded he realized that they meant just as much to Blair. "So that was Stay With Me by the Goo Goo Dolls. It was playing at a party my dad's were hosting for New Years when Jenny called to tell us Marcus was coming. We'd spent a full week together in blissful happiness and you had suggested more than once that we run. I had considered it but I thought that I still had plenty of time to decide. Then suddenly it had come crashing down around us when Marcus decided to bring all of my friends from home to France to surprise me for New Year's. It's unbelievable just how much the song worked for us in that moment. Looking back it's probably the words that made me think that running was the right thing to do. I still remember what you said to me to reassure me that everything was going to be okay. You said 'We'll run forever if we have to. He's not going to find us Blair; I swear to you.' If we had gotten away then, everything could have been perfect but he got there before we made our escape because I insisted on you driving me to our guest house on the vineyard where we'd been staying because I'd left my ring. I know it was stupid of me but I still can't bring myself to regret it, especially now when we have this chance again. I can sense that storm inside of you just like you could sense the one inside of me and I know that together we can work through this."
Chuck found himself wishing to God that they had made it out without being caught. If that had happened, if they had been successful, he would have his memory and everything would be okay right now because they would be together. Chuck was coming to find that being with Blair might be the most essential thing about his existence. Thoughts of her haunted him and right now when he felt close to her was the only time he'd felt at peace in weeks. "I don't know if you remember this song or not. I sang it to you when we were in bed together in the guest house the night that you were so scared. It was right after you had asked me to come to London with you. I don't know why your question ever made me hesitate; I would do anything for you. This is a lullaby that my mother used to sing to me when I was a baby when I was upset. I hope that it soothes you as well." Chuck recognized the song immediately and felt instantly calmer. The storm of worry inside him that had just been raging seemed to have slowed to a near standstill as the words and memories he had of them eased his mind. Hush now baby don't you cry, rest your wings my butterfly, peace will come to you in time and I will sing this lullaby. Know though I must leave, my child, that I would stay here by your side and if you wake before I'm gone remember this sweet lullaby. And all love through darkness, don't you ever stop believing. With love alone, with love you'll find your way my love. The world has turned the day to dark, I leave this night with heavy heart, when I return to dry your eyes, I will sing this lullaby. Even as the song soothed him he recognized lines that made him uncomfortable and couldn't help but wonder if this had been a message to him from his mother. Did she truly believe that love was the only way to find his way? Because he didn't know love, he had no memory of experiencing that feeling and if that was the only way to find his way he might be lost for good. Once more Blair spoke at the end of the song but he was surprised to find that it was not what he had been expecting. She made no comment on the song itself, instead she spoke of something different.
"That was the last time you updated the iPod, so the rest was left up to me. This next song that I've recorded is one I doubt you'll recognize as it's fairly new even now. It's one by the Fray called Never Say Never. I know at the last song you mentioned that I had asked you to come to London to be with me. It's the single most selfish request I'd ever made. I wanted you to give up your life to try to see me maybe once a week and I made it in a moment of weakness. Forgive me. Yet even though you agreed, that never came to pass because of something directly connected to this song. I told you earlier of my mother's death, well afterwards I shut down completely; shutting out everyone other than Nate. He was the safe choice, the easy choice, and likely the only one of our friends who was there to mourn Eleanor as much as he was to comfort me; which gave me a certain level of comfort. Even Marcus was great during this time, allowing you to spend as much time with me as I would allow. In the end he became desperate for me to be okay and allowed you some time with me completely alone. You played this song for me as you broke through my defenses and forced me to feel again. It was one of the defining moments of my life. The only way I knew to repay you was to give you your life back; I lied to you, claiming that I told Marcus about our plans for you to join me in London so that you couldn't give up your life for me. When I left you were so angry that I feared you would hate me but I left you a letter and you did in fact reply." When Blair finished Chuck sighed. What had they done to the world that they deserved this kind of heartbreak over and over again. In this song lay more promises designed specifically to comfort her. I will be your guardian when all is crumbling steady your hand. Even though he had apparently been the one successful in breaking through Blair's barriers, it didn't change what had happened. Blair had lost her mother, a woman that Chuck was not under any circumstances fond of. She treated Blair almost as badly as Bart treated Chuck, the difference lay in the fact that Chuck at least did something to earn his father's ire; Blair was never anything other than perfect. Though that didn't stop her mother from wishing that she were more like Serena and less like herself. But Blair needed her approval, needed her love and with Eleanor dying when she did, Chuck can only imagine that Blair was never able to receive that approval. Eleanor never got the opportunity to correct her mistake. Damn it, it wasn't fair. None of this was fair. It didn't seem to matter how much they loved each other, there was always something stopping them from being together. Like the song said, we're pulling apart and coming together again and again, we're growing apart but we pull it together, together again. Were they destined to forever be trapped within this tug of war of pain and suffering if he went back? Or was it finally their turn to be happy?
As the song ended, Chuck was once more greeted by Blair's voice. "I'm sorry for this next one lover. I wouldn't have put it on here but I thought it was important to tell the whole story just like you did. After Marcus and I got back to London he discovered our letters and he forced me to write to you and end things for good; he didn't give me another choice. After that I shut down my emotions and listened to this song over and over again; it seemed to be how I was feeling. According to Jenny you were listening to the same one so I thought it was only fitting to represent our time apart. It's Colorblind by Counting Crows." As Chuck listened to the song's lyrics he felt his head spin. I am covered in skin, no one gets to come in. Pull me out from inside, I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding. I am colorblind. He could only imagine the pain he must have felt at that letter; a pain that would have driven him to do almost anything to ensure that he didn't feel it anymore because he knew what it was like to feel this way, he knew it all too well because it was the way he'd felt for seventeen years. He'd put up barrier after barrier to ensure that no one broke through but someone had, Blair had and he couldn't comprehend the way it would feel to have the world illuminated by her and then to lose it and have to return to the way that things were before. The next song proved he was correct.
"Jenny told me that you reverted to the old you. The one that hurt everyone and cared about no one until you just couldn't handle it anymore. She's also the one that told me that you were listening to this song, You Found Me by the Fray, while you were telling her that you were leaving town; which we all know now isn't exactly what you were planning. Instead you bought a car, gave away your credit cards, and drove aforementioned car into a tree in North Carolina of all places. I arrived only a few hours after you left. Marcus had listened to this iPod and realized he couldn't keep us apart, not if he really loved me, so he let me go. That was a long day for me, plane flight home, found out you left, and then Jenny told me that I was pregnant instead of her. It was too much to handle and I couldn't seem to function. If I'd only been a couple hours earlier you would never have left and we would be together right now; but there's no use bemoaning the past. We only have the future and I want my future to be with you."
While the song played Chuck felt the kind of pain he had to have been feeling; to have had Blair as completely as he had had her and then to have lost her seemingly for good was a pain too great to bear. The words were sad, hungry, desperate words; lost and insecure, you found me, you found me, lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded, why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you? Just a little late you found me, you found me. It was as though he'd been in terrible pain, begging for someone, anyone to recognize what he was going through and do something to pull him out. In the end everyone ends up alone, losing her the only one who's ever known, who I am who I'm not and who I wanna be. Some of these lyrics were so true that it caused even more pain. From what he learned through this iPod Blair was the only one who knew him, really knew him and he'd lost her. But it didn't have to be this way. Blair was in New York and she wanted him, she felt things for him that no one ever had and he knew that he felt for her he just wasn't sure what he felt right now, not certain of the depths of his feelings. As the lyrics near the end of the song rang in his ears Chuck came to a startling realization of who the song and likely he had been pleading to. Early morning the city breaks, I've been calling for years and years and years and years and you never left me no messages, you never sent me no letters, you got some kinda nerve, taking all of my world. He had been pleading with God, he had been angry at God for all of this mess, for taking his world because clearly this Chuck believed that Blair Waldorf was his entire world. In truth Chuck Bass had been angry at God his entire life. God had taken his mother from him when he was so young, God had given him a father that didn't love him or didn't know how, God had then let him taste complete perfection in the form of Blair Waldorf, then he had let Blair be taken away from him too, and now he'd taken away his memory when Chuck needed it the most. Not once had they ever been at peace with each other except perhaps when Chuck was with Blair but he couldn't really know for sure as he didn't remember that time in his life. Although he suspected for once he might have been at peace not just with God but with himself; he suspected that Blair could have had that effect. And just like that he knew he loved her, he knew that there was a part of him that did the part of him that lay dormant inside due to the amnesia; he couldn't deny that. He simply needed to find that part of himself and tap into it.
When her voice began to speak again, there was a determined set to his jaw. "So this next song is called Come Home by OneRepublic. It represents a low point in my life, a very low point. It was my own conversation with God. It was my plea to him and to you to bring you back to me. I was alone in my suspicions that you hadn't simply run off; it felt like everyone was against me. In some ways they were. No one believed me that something had happened to you, they all thought I was crazy; sometimes they even made me doubt myself and my intuition. I felt closed in and completely surrounded by people yet so alone. I sort of ran away to your suite where I found your medication and that's when I knew for sure that whatever had happened to you wasn't good. That night I was so desperate that I called Marcus and begged him for his help and that's how I found you. The song is still true, I still want you to come home to me. I promise you that we can work all of it out, together." Chuck listened to her words and the song with a new resolve, a resolve to fix this and to be there for her like she needed. One line in particular struck him as he listened as there was a quality of pure truth in her voice as she sang them that imbued them with a certain essence that only something so true could. The fight for you is all I've ever known, so come home. Chuck knew from the iPod that they had been fighting for each other for longer than most even knew and now he could only imagine the pain she must have been in during this time. He knew their friends and family and their approval was everything to Blair; it must have been so hard for her to fight them. But she had for him. How could he not fight to regain what he had lost when she had already done so much? That's what they did, they fought for each other. It was his turn to fight for her; fight to regain his memory, fight to be the guy she needed. He would fight.
As the song came to a close he looked down seeing there were only three more left on the list and stood, beginning to walk back towards Franklin Street. His stomach was growling and he had absolutely no idea how long he'd been sitting in the quad. Chuck was unsure of what songs might be left because it was clear to him at least that all of their time together was now in the past. She had found him and there hadn't been any other memories together. But Blair knew what he was thinking as she always seemed to do and answered any questions he had with her next words. "Since I'm sure you're wondering 'what else could be on this playlist' I thought I'd let you know that these three songs are songs that I've added as my messages to you. Each of these says something different about how I feel about our relationship and since you've gotten this far in the iPod, I'm sure you'll understand. This first song is Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis. For me this explains better than anything else ever could the way that I feel about us and our relationship. When we first got together I would have done anything not to fall in love with you and it took me so long to admit it. Everyone was against us but I need you, you are what keeps me going and without you it's like I'm slowly dying. So here's my first song to you." Chuck couldn't help the rush of hope and something akin to pride in himself that he felt at her words. Blair needed him and he should be fighting for her and what they had. He wanted to be her guy, he did. The song began and he focused on her beautiful voice singing the lyrics.
Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough, and it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen, oh
He didn't need the iPod or Blair to tell him that she had been closed off from love before they got together. He knew from years of quiet observation that things with Nathaniel had been bad. Nate had treated her like no one deserved to be treated and she had convinced herself that she had loved him; she had convinced herself of a broken heart. Truly her heart was probably broken by Nathaniel's betrayal with Serena but not because she really loved Nate, because yet another person in her life desired Serena more than her. Chuck had decided long ago when Blair first told him of their affair that if she had come to him it would have been because she thought that she was done with love.
But somethin' happened for the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground, found somethin' true
And everyone's looking 'round
Thinkin' I'm going crazy, oh
Though as the lyrics stated, Chuck knew that something had changed for her when they were together. Blair herself had said it; she was freer, happier. Yet another rush of pride filled him; he had been good to Blair, good enough that she had fallen for him. He could only imagine the reactions of people as they found out. He would pay money to remember what Serena had said when she found out. The girl who was apparently his step sister, had always had a strong distaste for him, tolerating him because of Blair and Nate; she couldn't have been pleased by Blair's choice.
But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closin'
You cut me open and I -
Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love
I keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love
You cut me open '
If Blair truly meant the lyrics of the song, which he assumed she did by how honest and raw everything on this entire playlist had been, then she had not only fought for their relationship as hard as she had claimed, but she had truly stuck around for all of the pain and heartache he had caused her. She had fought to be with him just as much as he had apparently fought to be with her.
Trying hard not to hear, but they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears, try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from fallin', yeah yeah, oh
But nothin's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness, I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm goin' crazy, baby, baby
As Chuck continued to listen, he couldn't get over how well the song fit Blair's situation. From the beginning of the song which fit their initial sexual relationship to this part of the song which could have been a summation of Blair's innermost thoughts over the last few months. She had already told him how everyone had told her to quite searching for him and even though they had meant well, Blair had known better. And through all of the loneliness she had believed that being with him was worth not only the pain but everything else as well.
But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closin'
You cut me open and I -
Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love
I keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love
You cut me open
And it's drainin' all of me
Oh, they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
Chuck wished with all his heart that he could stop her from hurting anymore. He could hear in her voice the truth of the line saying that it was all draining on her. She needed him to be strong for her; she had been the strong one long enough.
But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away, but they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closin'
Oh, you cut me open and I -
Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love
I keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love
Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love (love)
Oh, you cut me open and I -
Keep bleedin', keep, keep bleedin' love
I keep bleedin', I keep, (oh, keep bleedin' love) keep bleedin' love
Keep bleedin', (I keep) keep, keep bleedin' love
Oh, you cut me open and I -
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
Chuck was approaching Franklin Street as Blair quit singing and started talking once more. "My next song to you is on here to give you courage. At least that's what I hope it does. It's my song to the Chuck that I know is inside of you; the one that remembers everything that we've been through. This is telling him that I'm going to be here, believing in him, no matter what happens. He will always have me and so will you. So here's Aftermath by Adam Lambert."
Have you lost your way?
Livin' in the shadow of the messes that we made
And so it goes
Everything inside your circle starts to overflow
Take a step before you leap
Into the colors that you seek
You give back what you give away
So just look back on yesterday
An internal shiver ran through him as Blair was once more singing to him; or more she was singing to something inside of him. Now that he was certain that there was a part of him that knew all of this, that remembered everything, he couldn't help the indescribable need for that part of him to hear what she was saying. He wasn't a metaphysical kind of guy but right now he felt like he need a shaman or something to do the antitheses of exercise that part. But the words of the song were true, that part of him was lost and they were all living in the shadow of their mistakes.
Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
Blair was virtually promising him the world. She was reassuring him that no matter what happened next she was going to support him and be with him. When he went back and dealt with everything, his dad, his friends, his lack of memory, he wasn't going to be doing it alone. He couldn't be afraid of the part of him that remembered. He couldn't be afraid to feel.
You feel the weight
Of lies and contradictions that you live with every day
It's not too late
Think of what could be if you rewrite the role you play
Take a step before you leap
Into the colors that you seek
You give back what you give away
So don't look back on yesterday
Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
It was like she knew what he was thinking all the time. She knew that he was scared, she knew that he needed reassurance, he needed her. If he put his faith in her and took the giant step forward to go home, perhaps everything would be alright and if it wasn't, he would still have her there when everything was over.
Before you break you have to change your own mind
Take a trip and fall into the clear
Tell a stranger that their beautiful
So all you feel is love love
All you feel is love love
Wanna scream out
No more hiding
Don't be afraid of what's inside
Wanna tell you you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Anytime anybody pulls you down
Anytime anybody says you're not allowed
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
Gonna tell ya you'll be alright
In the Aftermath
Just remember you are not alone
In the Aftermath
Chuck felt a surge of hope as the song ended. She believed in him, she loved him, she would stand by him through anything. Even if he never got his memory back, Blair was going to stay with him, it would be alright. And maybe then one day he would remember. Even if he didn't she wasn't going to abandon him. He had her, always. The feeling that he had felt growing gradually in his chest was stronger than ever as he felt things that he had never dreamed he would.
Approaching the Carolina Coffee Shop Chuck walked in and took a seat by the window, pausing momentarily so that he could have a chance to focus on the menu and order lunch. Quickly deciding what he wanted Chuck sat down his menu and began to flip through the photos absentmindedly as he waited for the waitress to come by the table. Within moments she approached. "Hi I'm Katie, what can I get you today?" She asked, her sweet southern accent matching her genuine smile.
Chuck sat down the iPod on the table, as he looked up at the young girl. "I'll have an Irish coffee and the Crumbled Blue Cheese Burger with a side of fries, no onions." As he finished, he expected the waitress to write down his order and leave but she stood before him seemingly frozen in place. He followed her gaze down to the iPod on his table which was currently fixed on a photograph of him with Blair in bed then back up to the girl. About to make a snarky comment about minding her own business Chuck was shocked at the words that came out of her mouth.
"You know Blair Waldorf." She spoke, her voice not sounding like her own. As the obviously handsome guy in front of her was ordering, Katie had unwittingly glanced down at his iPod spotting a picture of the client in front of her with none other than the stunning brunette who had frequented this very table only a few weeks prior.
Chuck narrowed his eyes, his suspicions instantly piqued. Once more he was about to make a remark characteristic of the Chuck Basshole he was so used to being when he remembered that Blair was the reason he had chosen this particular restaurant. Tyler had informed him that she came here almost every day and he had come here to feel connected to her. Of course someone here would recognize her picture. These thoughts seemed to settle him down enough that when he spoke his words were calm and smooth. "Yes, I do."
Katie blinked a couple of times as her gaze transferred from the picture to the strikingly handsome young man in front of her. "You're Chuck Bass." She said, certain of her words. She could clearly see him being to boy that Blair was so desperately in love with.
This time Chuck's eyebrows rose. It was unlike Blair to converse with strangers about private matters and he was 99% sure that he had never bedded the girl before him. "I am." He responded cautiously. When the girl said nothing more he spoke again, this time with a slight edge to his voice. "And might I ask why you know that?"
Katie inhaled quickly, remembering that the guy in front of her was the one that Blair hadn't thought was worth it; he was the not so great version of Blair's Chuck . . . Unless he had gotten back his memory. "Blair and I talked for a while." She could see the skepticism in Chuck's eyes and chose to explain further. "I think she needed someone to talk to and I had asked her if she was okay. I feel the need to ask you the same thing."
So Blair had spoken to the girl before him about their relationship; that was interesting thought Chuck as he studied the brunette. "How much did she tell you?"
"Enough." Katie replied with a slight lift of her shoulder. "I don't think she ever expected you to show up here."
"Neither did I." Chuck spoke quietly.
Katie however heard his words and tried to smile reassuringly. Clearly Chuck didn't have his memory back or else he wouldn't still be here in North Carolina; he'd be back in New York with Blair. "She loves you a lot you know."
Chuck looked up at her, this time with pensive, guarded eyes. "I know." After a slight pause in which Katie began to turn to put in Chuck's order, Chuck spoke again. "What would you do, if you were in my position?"
Katie turned back around to face Chuck and bit her lip uncertainly. Chuck Bass was obviously a powerful and wealthy guy, he had to have plenty of people he could go to for advice yet right now he was asking her and out of respect for Blair she was going to do her best to answer honestly. "I'd go home." She replied certain of her response. Not waiting for Chuck to say more, she walked towards the counter to turn in his order.
As Katie walked away Chuck found his that his breath was quickening as lyrics to an old Deep Blue Something song entered his head as though the speakers of the restaurant were playing the song.
If I woke up one morning with my memory gone
I'd pick out some clothes and I'd put them on
Then I'd walk down the street and find a cafe
And I'd order a Guiness and I'd sit there all day
Maybe they were, maybe the song was actually playing, that would make more sense than his current predicament. The song was one that reminded him of Blair since he had listened to a few of Deep Blue Something's other songs after learning that Breakfast at Tiffany's was her favorite.
Then some kids would come in and start a fuss
About how great their weekend in New Orleans was
I'd look down and smile like their tale was my own
I'd be drowning in memory, and then I would know
This particular song by the band, appropriately titled Home was also appropriately about a boy who's lost his memory, finding home. Yet the song itself, while pertinent, wasn't what had his heart rate accelerating to an almost alarming speed.
How it used to be in summer, so many years ago
When we really didn't worry, or care to know
Where we would be, or how old we had grown
Then I'd open my eyes and I know I was
Rather, it was the fact that Chuck was remembering something that in all actuality he should have no recollection of as the first Deep Blue Something song he had ever heard was after Blair, he'd never even heard of the group until he heard her singing in the shower. And it was easy to open his ears and know that the song playing in the restaurant wasn't the same as the song playing in his head.
Home
Where my friends are
Even when I'm not
I wish you were here
Chuck felt his hands go numb as he came to the staggering realization that he remembered something. Not something necessarily important, but something . . . and that was everything. That meant that all hope wasn't lost. If he could remember this song, no matter how trivial it might be, he could potentially remember it all.
Then it would rain, like it sometimes does
And if we were bored it wouldn't bother us
We'd just get in the car and drive through the night
And get lost in East Texas, but no one would mind
The rush of hope and happiness that ran through him was greater than anything Chuck had ever experienced before; so great in fact that he couldn't help himself from standing from his seat with a smile on his face; very unBasslike actions. He threw a couple of large bills down on the table, grabbed the iPod and made his way towards the exit, calling a cab to collect him as he walked.
'Cause we'd find our way home like we always do
Funny how the time flies in our youth
But with darkness approaching, we will all grow close
In that place we call heaven but for now, we'll just call it
As he stepped out onto the sidewalk Chuck's smile couldn't seem to dampen because it wasn't only that he remembered something that had him so ecstatic; no, it was the realization that he knew where his home was. He knew where his heart belonged, he knew the place he would call heaven and it wasn't New York City. Chuck Bass's home was Blair Waldorf. Wherever she was, was where he belonged, where his heart lay even when he was here in North Carolina.
Home
Where my friends are
Even when I'm not
I wish you were here
I'll see you at home
Climbing into the cab before him, Chuck already knew that he was going home to Blair, but now he just wanted to hear her voice again and hear what else she thought that he needed to hear to bring him home to her. "This last song is to the Chuck that I left in the hospital and that's really all there is to say about it. It's called Come Back to Me, by David Cook." Chuck sighed at the sound of her voice singing the song, he had to restart the song almost immediately as he found he was getting lost in thoughts of her voice rather than what she was actually saying.
You say you got to go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you
When the song started over, he allowed every word from her lips to sink in. Whatever her message was, Chuck wanted to make sure he understood it; regardless of the fact that his mind was made up and he was already going home. Her words had a ring of truth that made Chuck cringe because he hadn't even been able to give the face in the mirror a name until she'd arrived.
You say you're leaving as you look away
I know there's really nothing left to say
Just know I'm here whenever you need me, I will wait for you
He frown deepened as he listened to the first stanza or so of the song. He was someone else the first time Blair had come to see him and he'd been awful to her, truly awful. Now thinking back he couldn't believe the things he'd said. . .he'd sent her fleeing in tears. How could he be so cruel. Yet still she promised to be there for him, not only on her second visit but in the song Aftermath that she had sung just before this. She had promised over and over to wait for him as he'd once sworn to her when he proposed. If only he could remember.
So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you,
Come back to me
She'd done just as the lyrics said she would. She'd let him go in every way she knew how, leaving him with her messages to figure things out for himself. She gave him the time and distance that he'd asked for. Chills shot up his spine as she sang those lines when you find you, come back to me. Because there was a surging in his gut that told him that even though he hadn't recovered his memory, he had found himself again. Somewhere in the heart that only Blair seemed to know he possessed he knew that he wasn't that guy that she had visited the first night in the hospital and even if he wasn't quite yet the guy she deserved, the one she loved, he knew that he was getting there.
Take your time, I won't go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you
A smirk appeared on his face through the next stanza for more than one reason, most of which being that she had not changed the lyrics to fit her purposes as they had each done in previous songs in the case of picturing the wind in his hair which made him wonder if there was ever an instance that she did remember the wind in his hair - perhaps the view of him as her helicopter left after the wedding or maybe them driving through her father's vineyard in her bright red sports car. The image flashed through his mind and he knew immediately that it wasn't something imagined; no one had ever mentioned a red sports car. It was a memory as it was complete with every sensation from the moment, every sound, every feeling, every touch. It was only a flash, yet it filled him with so much hope along with a much warmer feeling that had been growing inside.
Oh and I'll let you go, I'll set your free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you,
Come back to me
The other thing that that verse had informed him was of where to find Blair when he reached home. If she had left his things where he left them then she must be staying where his things were. And from the descriptions she gave of wanting to get away from everyone, he felt it safe to assume that the home she was staying at was his suite in the Palace. His smirk turned into a full on smile as he realized that he would be able to find her so much faster.
And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here, waiting to see
If you find you,
Come back to me
That she was waiting for him, hoping that he would be ready to come to her, saturated him with a certain sadness at the thought of her waiting for him all of this time, never knowing if he was going to come back. Yet her faith him made him feel as though he were the luckiest guy in the world. And he had found what he needed. He had discovered that the only thing that he really needed was her which was a startling revelation for the womanizing playboy of the Upper East Side.
I can't get close if you're not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul to bare
I can't fix you
I can't save you
It's something you'll have to do
These words explained why she had let him go, why she had been able to let him go. Blair being the intuitive genius that she was had realized that never leaving his side and trying to push her thoughts and feelings on him would never crack him. It would have only made him resent her for crowding him and turn him against her in the long run; he would have hated her neediness, it would have terrified him. But Blair knew him . . .she knew him well enough to know that the only way to get him back was to let him go and give him what he needed to know what she meant to him.
So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you,
Come back to me
Come back to me
But there was something that Blair was wrong about. She was the one that fixed him and she was and always would be the only one who could save him. She'd been the one to give him the iPod and infuse it with all of her memories of them. So yes she had fixed him and the one untainted memory he now possessed, the flash of them in the car, promised him that she could save him. He was beginning to discover that he needed Blair like he needed oxygen. He had been incapable of staying in that hospital for another moment today when it was so far from where she was. He'd come to Chapel Hill because he had to be close to her presence.
So I'll let you go, I'll set you free
And when you've seen what you need to see
When you find you,
Come back to me
As the chorus repeated, the words became background noise for his thoughts, which were churning full force. Chuck had chilling thought as he realized just how much he needed her. He was already thinking of her as his greatest strength and because of this she would also have to be his greatest weakness. To be so utterly dependant on another person meant that she could hurt him as no one else could hurt him. She was his kryptonite. This fear shook him to his very core as he realized that losing her could destroy him like it almost had this time. The fear was so great that he almost wanted to make a U-Turn and try once more to forget her. What if someone tried to hurt her to get to him? He was after all Chuck Bass, this was not out of the realm of possibility. The thought of someone laying a hand on her created a monster in his gut, that threatened to boil to the surface and rip to shreds the hypothetical perpetrator. These thoughts led him to even worse ones; what if he hurt her? As these fears threatened to consume him the swelling in his chest shouted to him that it was nonsense. The only way he could protect her was to be with her. The same feeling promised him that he would never hurt her, that doing so would be so painful to himself that he could never bear it.
And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here, waiting to see
You find you,
Come back to me
In a sudden and rather disquieting way he found that he could identify the feeling that had been growing in his chest; the one that tightened when he sensed that Blair was sad, the one that soared at hearing about their best moments together. This continuously escalating sensation was what made him believe that Blair was his oxygen and his kryptonite; his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. Right now, in this very moment, Chuck Bass -not the Chuck from before the accident, the Chuck Bass that was currently in existence- was completely and irrevocably in love with Blair Waldorf; the feeling in his chest was love.
When you find you,
Come back to me
"I love her." He said almost so softly that he couldn't even hear himself. He was testing the words on his tongue, tasting them, analyzing the way that they felt on his lips and coming to the staggering realization that they felt like the most natural words he had ever said. "I love her." He said this time loudly and with a smile beaming from his face.
The cabbie looked at him curiously before nodding. "That's great." He spoke even though he thought that the kid in his backseat might be crazy.
Chuck leaned his head back against the headrest of the cab. He didn't care what anyone else thought about him because God he loved her and in a matter of hours he would be home again with her by his side. Realizing then that he had paused the iPod at the conclusion of the song he pressed play, knowing that Blair would have had parting words for him. He was surprised at how brief those words turned out to be as he was half expecting a monologue. At the same time he wasn't entirely sure that Blair didn't have some form of precognitive abilities, at least when it came to him. "You know where to find me. So, I'll see you soon then?"
Chuck could hear the smile in her voice at her last words. Blair had known that if he had made it to this point in the iPod that he would come home and that was exactly what he intended to do. Sparing a quick glance out the window to see just how close to the hospital he was, Chuck was astonished to realize that not only was it night, but they were coming to a stop in front of the hospital at that moment.
He quickly handed the cabbie a hundred and hopped out of the cab, shouting "Keep the change" as he fled. Swiftly making his way through the hospital doors, Chuck was done with all forms of pretense. Now he simply wanted to get in and get out as quickly as possible. He might not even have stopped back by if he hadn't left his heart medication and his recently purchased lap top; both were replaceable but he'd rather not bother.
Walking straight into the main corridor of the hospital and entering the elevator, he passed several workers and was slightly surprised that none of them seemed in any way alerted by his presence. It wasn't that it was unusual to see him wandering around in full clothing, but he assumed since he'd been missing for several hours that there would be at least a smattering of whispers at his arrival; yet everyone seemed nonplused. This puzzled him slightly until he walked onto the tenth floor where he spotted Emma at the nurse's station. The second her eyes had locked on him they had become as wide as saucers and Chuck found himself smirking slightly; at least someone had noticed his absence.
"Ohmigod, ohmigod, ohmigod! Thank goodness you're back, Holly's been trying to keep anyone from noticing and I think she's about to have a panic attack." Emma whispered in harsh tones as she rushed around the counter and took hold of Chuck's arm before proceeding to drag him down the hallway toward his room.
Chuck didn't struggle as that was his intended destination but he couldn't help but find the situation amusing. He didn't find it quite so amusing when Emma tugged him into his room to be greeted by an irate looking Holly. "Lookie what I found." She said with a smile.
Fire flashed through Holly's eyes as she rose to her feet. "Where the hell have you been?" She spat venom, voice full of venom.
"Out." Chuck said with a slight shrug, attempting to feign nonchalance. He was actually quite frightened of Holly's impending outburst; he'd seen them directed at others and wasn't thrilled at the prospect of having one directed at himself.
Holly felt her jaw clench as she crossed her arms in front of her. "How dare you just walk out of here without telling someone; without telling me!"
Chuck furrowed his brow slightly. "I don't see what the big deal is, we all know I'm not really a patient anymore. It's not like I actually need medical care."
"You don't see the big deal. YOU don't see the big deal? I'll tell you what the big deal is, you see technically YOU are still a patient here. Which technically makes us, and more importantly ME, responsible for you. And you aren't just any patient now are you? NO, you're Chuck Freaking Bass, the single most high profile patient to grace this hospital with their presence. Do you understand what would have happened had someone realized you were missing?" Holly paused for a brief second noting that Chuck had been stunned into an unresponsive silence before continuing. "I would have been fired on the spot; most likely Emma too. Add that to the fact that I had absolutely no idea where you were or what had happened to you and yes I'd say it was a big deal."
As Holly finished her rant a pregnant pause seeped into the room that wasn't broken until Chuck responded. "I want to check out."
Holly's eyebrows rose, unable to pretend that she wasn't completely shocked by Chuck's response. "I didn't mean you have to leave Chuck. It's not like you're not paying to stay here." She responded her temper cooling off.
Almost simultaneously, Chuck's temper seemed to heat up and boil over, catching him and the nurses completely unawares. "I'm living in a fucking hospital! Do you realize how pathetic that is? I was too much of a coward to go home and face my past, face what I can't remember, that I turned a hospital into a fucking hotel! I'm done being a coward! I'm done being weak! And I want to fucking check out." Holly and Emma both looked as taken aback by Chuck's outburst as he was. The next words he spoke were back under his control, his voice more gentle and at the same time more guarded. "I just want to go home . . .to Blair."
At those words both Holly and Emma gasped, exchanging a quick glance before Emma spoke. "Do you remember?" She asked, her voice full of astonishment.
Chuck inhaled before he gave a slight shake of his head. "No." After a brief pause he continued. "But I'm starting to." He paused again, considering whether or not his next words were appropriate. "I love her." He said softly, reverently.
Emma looked as though she would pass out and this time it was Holly who spoke uncertainly. "We already knew that you loved her. We all heard Blair say it."
Chuck shook his head with more vigor this time as he corrected Holly. "No, I love her. As in right now, I am in love with her."
"Oh." Holly spoke as her mouth formed a small 'o'. Once more they all fell into silence and Chuck began to gather his things together; placing them in a duffle he had had brought to keep his clothes in. "Stop" Holly said after a few minutes. Either Chuck didn't hear her, or it didn't register, so Holly repeated herself more loudly. "I said STOP."
Chuck immediately froze and looked up at Holly, not certain what to expect this time.
"You can check out tomorrow morning." Holly spoke as she ran a hand through her hair. "I'll fill out the release papers and have them ready then." Chuck looked as though he was about to protest and Holly held up her hand, walking forwards and placing it on his shoulder. "Save it Chuck. You can't be released unless I sign the papers. I would sign them now but it's late and you should sleep. Leaving now will have you in New York no earlier than three a.m. and you'll be no good to Blair at that hour. So take your time, gather your things and I promise I'll release you in the morning?"
"First thing?" He asked calmly.
Holly nodded. "First thing."
Chuck found a rather complacent look had taken over his features and he gave a single curt nod. "Okay then."
Thursday, May 14, 2009 - Chuck's Palace Suite, NYC
Blair sighed as she walked into Chuck's suite. Every time she opened the door she couldn't help but get her hopes up that perhaps Chuck had come home but every time she was disappointed. She knew she shouldn't think of things like that but no matter how hard she tried to concentrate on the fact that she had done everything she could to bring him home she always felt like she could have done more. Walking in she knew that she was only going to be disappointed again. She was shocked to see a jacket laying over one of the bar stools.
"Chuck?" Blair spoke tentatively into the seemingly empty apartment. Chills ran down her spine and she wasn't sure whether or not they were the good kind or the bad kind. Someone was clearly here in the apartment or had been here. It could have been Chuck. There was evidence to suggest that that was the case, part of which being the freshly opened retainer of scotch sitting on the table. Yet the smell in the room was all wrong; it didn't smell like Chuck at all.
"Nate?" She called out her voice growing with false strength. Her words were simply grasping at straws because she knew that the person in the suite wasn't Nate or Eric. Any normal person would be terrified at this point: she was an attractive, rich, female who was close to five months pregnant and there was an intruder in her suite. And she was definitely alarmed but not because she didn't know who was in her suite. When she had noted that it didn't smell like Chuck, she hadn't been entirely sure. Chuck had been wearing Armani Code since he was eight and deigned himself cultured enough to select his own scent. On first whiff she had told herself that it could be Code or it could have been a new scent Chuck was trying out but after a few moments she realized that she did recognize the scent and her odor confusion had been a result of the lingering Code fragrance mixing with an aroma that Blair knew too well; Armani's other scent, Acqua Di Gio. No Blair Waldorf knew exactly whose jacket was laying across the bar stool and that's what scared her most of all.
Blair walked into the room refusing to speak the name of the man she knew must be present until she was firmly standing with a hold on the bar. "Marcus." She finally called, this time not a question.
Immediately a presence darkened the doorway of Chuck's bedroom as Marcus leaned against the doorframe. "Third time's a charm darling." He spoke as he lifted the glass of scotch in slight toast.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it! The song list is below as always.
ETA: Yes I know I said that Marcus was out of the picture but there was a slight change of plans along the way as I decided i left his character hanging. I promise he isn't going to hurt Blair or anything though. That isn't why he's here.
Reviews are always appreciated (I've re-enabled anonymous reviews again so we will see how that goes),
XOXO
Kate
I Hate Missing You: Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson (Chuck)
Waking Up With You: Bette Davis Eyes - Leighton Meester (Blair)
The Best Christmas: Wedding Dress - Matt Nathanson (Chuck)
Trying to Run: Stay With You - Goo Goo Dolls (Chuck)
Sleep Well: Lullabye - Josh Groban (Chuck)
Grief And Love: Never Say Never - The Fray (Blair)
Without You: Colorblind - Counting Crows (Blair)
Lost and Found: You Found Me - The Fray (Blair)
I Need You: Come Home - OneRepublic (Blair)
New Additions
Blair's Story: Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
Message to the Old Chuck: Aftermath - Adam Lambert
Message to the Chuck Now: Come Back to Me - David Cook
Chuck's Memory: Home - Deep Blue Something