Thank you to all the reviewers! It is wonderful to know you enjoy the story, tried and true as the premise may be.

*****

"That pink top on the left side of your suitcase is much cuter, Bella," she said and laughed, a sound that made it seem like stars were exploding overhead.

After Alice left Charlie and I were able to have a reasonable conversation. That morning, I had been terrified of dying and of disappointing him, with neither option really being the worse. He carefully looked over me and seemed appeased at the mending process. Well, the outward one, anyway.

"So why are you really back here, Bella?" His voice was soft but the gruff undertone said more than his words had. He wanted me there; he didn't want me punishing myself.

"Just to figure some stuff out, Dad." I started half-heartedly gathering coffee cups and Alice's full glass of water to wash in the sink. "I thought it was time to come back here."

"Why now?" He had never been comfortable with the idea that I wasn't going to college. He had never been comfortable with anything I did after Edward and I broke up, including damaging Jake and myself, and then running off to Phoenix. I could tell he wanted something resembling a plan of action, and realized I didn't have anything solid to offer.

"I was ready." I turned to look at him. My notorious blush was creeping across my collarbones; I looked down, took a breath, and steadied myself. "I wasn't ready to come back before, Dad. I couldn't stomach it."

"You did leave things kind of a mess with Jake, Bella. But that happens with kids—breaking up is a part of growing up." This was a lot of words for Charlie, and he already seemed to be running out of steam. "It's not your fault if he…he hasn't come back from it."

"You seemed pretty sure it was Edward's fault when I wasn't coming back from our break-up."

Charlie's temper was sorely tested, but he withheld much of what I could see in his eyes. Finally he said, "It seems you did come back from it." One long sigh. "Well, what are you going to do with yourself, now that you're here?"

He was asking me if he should get his hopes up about me sticking around—whether I would finally go to college, whether I would be buying that plane ticket back to Renee any moment. I didn't know what to tell him, except that for today, I couldn't really go anywhere else. The pack and the Cullens were going to end the reign of terror Victoria held over my life, and I was a sitting duck without them. All of them.

"I was thinking of visiting Emily's restaurant." The glasses clinked against one another in the sink as I turned to look at him, my hands splashing absently in the sink.

He shook his head. Of course that's not what he meant, but he let it slide. "The food's delicious, but get a table in the front. There's barely room for anybody once those Quileute giants set up camp in there."

I wondered if the pack had grown in size or number. "I saw Quil and Embry over at Sam's."

"Yeah, they're usually running around with Jared and Paul, sometimes the Clearwater kids show up. It's a regular gang." No new names. No Jake.

I had to ask. "So…Jake never shows up any more?"

Charlie looked at me carefully. "He works out of the garage round Billy's place. Not too often, but he must never sleep when he does show up. He's gone again in a day or two, maybe once or twice a month I hear him over there." He paused, his eyebrows low. "Billy doesn't let me bother him. Says he prefers to work without distractions." Another second passed before he dropped his eyes. "I'd let that one lay, Bella. I think it's gone past the point of bringing over a six pack and saying you're sorry."

I rolled my eyes in spite of myself. "That's really too bad, since that was my plan." Charlie didn't laugh. It must be bad. I set the dishes down carefully in the warm water before I turned to look at my father. "I'm not going to bother Jacob Black. I'm not going to do anything that might make it so he never comes out of the woods again." He nodded to himself, and then raised an eyebrow.

"The woods, huh? Billy told me he had a job in Seattle."

I nearly swore at myself out loud. "It's just an expression, Dad. Of all people, I wouldn't know where he goes."

Charlie looked satisfied. I wondered if it was too soon to call Emily.

After catching up on Angela's life and avoiding telling as many lies as possible, I was stuck in the house with only Charlie for company. Our phone conversation had been wonderful, but Angela wouldn't be available for dinner for another night or so; she was driving in to Seattle to pick up Ben and their son from the airport. She sounded genuinely happy.

That's what I'm missing, I thought to myself. And again, I thought of Edward, and how he wanted me to have what Angela did. Was it possible, once I had lost someone like him? It was hard to believe.

If only, I thought to myself. If only…would I have loved Edward so desperately without the intoxicating addition of vampirism? Without the sculpted quality of his face, the malevolent design of his scent…would I have loved Edward as a human?

Part of me was sure that I would have. But then…would I have loved him the way I did when he wasn't human? There was no way to know. There was no way to dissect the blind passion that had lead me to chose him over even my own life. He was made to be adored and to devour; that he could conquer the latter part of his nature was miraculous, but didn't change what he was. And we would never be that, together.

I was okay with that.

Time away from the glamour of living with the Cullens had allowed me to understand Rose much better. Even her cutting remarks and absurd vanity couldn't hide the deep sadness her being cultivated inside of her. Edward must have known me very well, to see that in a few years, I would want to be ordinary. I would want children, and a small, steady life. I would want to continue to be part of my human family. Carlisle was right—Edward truly was greater than him, to give up the love that we had in favor of that knowledge, even if his methods were misguided and brutal.

I picked at the piles of my last life in my old bedroom. Large stacks of cds and hand-written papers, tacked up photos of Angela and I on camping trips, looking excited and nervous. An invitation to Renee and Phil's wedding, and then another for her marriage to her latest husband, Terrence. A soft, well-worn flannel shirt. Jacob's shirt.

I unfolded it carefully. It had stayed in the drawer for a long time, and its creases were deep. I had never washed it, just hidden it here. My fingers played across the buttons, and eventually my hands brought the soft fabric to my face. I inhaled.

The shock of sea salt and the wet slap of loamy earth filled my nose. That was the day I almost drowned. The day Jacob pulled me from the sea, pulled me away from the edge of my life, away from the echoes of Edward I held deep in myself. That was the last day I heard either of their voices. The illusion of Edward reprimanding me, my mind mimicking the strange velvet of his voice. Jake, sobbing, telling me he couldn't see me again when I explained why I had jumped.

And then there were other voices that day; Alice on the phone, shamelessly calling both Billy Black and Charlie. The relief in her voice when she heard me croaking that I was alright. Charlie—his voice, harshest, last of all, saying I could never be left alone again, not realizing that I was finally, pitifully, totally alone.

At least no one had died that day in spite of my ridiculous efforts, unlike now, with Victoria back to plague us all and crush that tiny victory in to dust. So many years had passed, but I knew to her they were nothing. I thought of Jake and shuddered. No one had physically died. But he and I both had pieces that had dried up and blown away, the gardens of our hearts poisoned by my selfishness and finally revealed to us both.

For me, that day was the day I had begun to let go of Edward. But for Jake…Jake had just begun to let go.

The phone call came later that night. Charlie was snoozing, but woke and wiped the sleep from his eyes as he got up to get the phone. "Bella!" He called out loudly without looking around. I laughed as I took the phone from his hand, and he shuffled sheepishly off to bed. I couldn't remember the last time I'd gone to bed later than Charlie.

"Hello?" I expected Emily's soft voice on the line, even though I knew there probably wouldn't be any news from the pack this soon. Maybe Renee missed me.

"Bella." It was Edward.

I hadn't been prepared to speak to him, even though I'd thought about seeing him earlier in the day. It had been so long, Charlie hadn't even recognized his voice. It was different to think of him with the shield of Alice's airy presence in the room with me. I would never be prepared to hear his voice, lulling me without trying into the desperate sickness I was working to escape.

"I'm sorry—I wanted…to be able to speak to you." I understood what he meant. I wanted to be able to speak to him, too; I wasn't sure I could do it and live. My eyes were clenched shut and my hand had begun to cramp where I gripped the phone. I forced myself to relax, even though I could feel the blood racing through my body and my breath barreling out of my chest.

"Of course you can speak to me, Edward." Now the tears came, sliding innocuously down my face, humiliating me. My body flushed and cooled rapidly several times in succession. This is why he had called, and not simply come by—to spare us both my body's humiliating betrayals and my lost pride.

"Would it be alright if…do you think…I could see you?" His hesitance was genuine. So much had changed now that I knew his act in the woods, so long ago, was a ridiculous charade. Alice must have told him how much I had figured out in the interim.

"Come on by," I heard myself say.

We both hung up at the same time.