Jennifer had spent the last six months in a desperate state of complete denial. But the date on the calendar was starting to betray her. In two weeks, Duke was supposed to be sent away. She had been happy, initially, when he'd told her he wanted to enlist. He'd had a rough go of things before they met, and when they'd started to get serious, he'd told her that he wanted to be someone she would be proud of.
And at that point in his life, after the less reputable things he'd done, the only viable thing he could do, was enlist.
But now that they were staring down the barrel of him being sent away, of him being shot at, of him going to a place where there was a very real probability that he would die alone and afraid, she wished he'd stayed less reputable.
He'd had a boat and had, previously, traveled everywhere that the ocean could take him. He'd been good at disappearing, at running away, and he'd given it up so he could be someone who deserved her. But now all she wanted was for them to run away and disappear.
She'd been thinking about it for weeks, but she hadn't dared to voice it to him yet.
Until tonight.
They were lying in bed, bodies curled towards each other like a pair of petals drying in the sun, and she was watching his face. He'd closed his eyes long before her, more ready and willing to chase sleep down than she was yet, and she was trying to commit to memory how at ease he looked, all that tension that seemed to constantly be etched into his face lately was gone. She loved the way his long lashes fanned gently against the tops of his cheeks, just…how at ease he looked sleeping next to her.
She reached out and gently traced his face, from his forehead, down his cheek and jawline, until her fingers rested against his chin. She'd been watching the skin where her fingers touched, so she didn't noticed when his eyes opened until she finally looked back up at him. His dark eyes glittered from the starlight coming from the window behind her, and were somehow still so warm and gentle even in the pale light.
"What're you doing?" he asked, his voice gruff from almost catching sleep.
She'd wanted to say, "Trying to figure out how to ask you to either run away with me or just to stay with me" but instead, all that came out was, "Stay."
Something in her tone prompted him to wake up more from his pre-sleep daze. He gave her a confused looked, "What?"
There was no point in stopping it now, not so close to goodbye, not when he was looking at her with stars in his eyes, and not when she was so scared of losing him it kept her awake even when he was still right next to her, "Don't go. Don't leave. We could…we could run away. Just…Stay with me."
He studied her for a long time. He carefully reached out and ran his fingers through her hair before he whispered, "Jennifer, what you're asking from me…I told you I wouldn't be that person again."
"Unless I asked." She pointed out quickly before her throat could constrict too tightly from the desperation of what she was really asking him for.
He sighed heavily but conceded, "Unless you asked."
They stared at each other for another long moment, so that anxiety coiled around Jennifer's stomach and made her feel sick–she knew what she was asking him and she hated herself for it. He'd come so far, he'd done so much, he'd distanced himself from that life and from being someone who would go AWOL without a second thought because she had asked him to; and here she was, asking him to forget all of that just because she didn't want to lose him.
Who was she to ask this of him?
The only one who could.
"Are you asking?" He asked, trying to give her an out, a chance to walk away from this conversation if she wanted. And she loved him so much more for that. And she couldn't lose him.
"Yes." She said as firmly as she could.
The word landed in the space between them, having fallen so heavily that Jennifer was sure that she heard it 'thud' against the mattress.
Much more quietly, as if she were trying to nudge the 'yes' towards him, she added, "I'm asking. Run away with me."
He moved closer to her then, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close against him. She curled into him instinctively, and felt him place a kiss on the top of her head.
"Okay."