Leah never moved from the wall, but I watched as her eyes carefully took in the entire scenario.
Try not to move, I thought to myself. Try to not impose, to resent what you so obviously are: an unwelcome means to an end. I felt tension radiating from Jake, and didn't know what to do; I couldn't help but press against him, as Seth was clearly engaged otherwise and not used to the presence of a mere human among the pack. I turned my head to look at Jake, and he was perfectly still, his face turned towards the table. From what I could see he had showered and slept a little, but the twigs and leaves in his hair hadn't been combed out. The shorts he wore were faded canvas, and the burrs stuck in his side last night remained. His skin flinched when I moved, and I tried to still myself, but he looked up at me. His expression was a mix of rank fear and overt self-consciousness. So much noise and activity must be making him feel like he was in hell. I spoke again, trying to sound calm. "Jake, would you mind if I got some of this stuff out of your hair?" I pushed my luck and gently laid a finger near the burrs poking obtrusively out of his skin. "How about these? Can I get them for you?"
He looked at me a moment, and then shrugged. Would this be more intimate than the way we used to snuggle in front of everybody? Less intimate than if I'd asked last night while we were alone, like I'd wanted to? I didn't know. Jake didn't move when I started working the burr out of his flesh. His skin was eerily smooth, it's rich color unmarred by layers of dirt. I found myself lingering on the texture, and realized it had been a very, very long time since I'd touched anyone. We were in the same boat, in a way, although I'd never spent my time avoiding human contact holed up in the body of a predator. Jake was looking down at the table again. Sam called the room to order and everyone was very still and quiet, except, of course, for Leah. She pointedly walked out of the room and stood just outside with the door ajar, lighting a cigarette. I knew she wouldn't miss a word, just like she'd never miss an opportunity to show Sam what she thought of his calls to order.
"We have a couple of things we need to discuss," Sam began. I still wasn't totally sure why I was here, and tried to refocus on Emily's indecipherable comments from earlier. They could mean anything, I realized, gently tugging on the pointed tips of the burr and watching as the tiny thorns loosed their hold in Jacob's buttery skin. He didn't move, even when a tiny rivulet of blood seeped out as I gave it one last yank. I placed the offender on the table and went on to the next one, listening. To my surprise, Jake's muscles looked decidedly less tensed; I guessed it was another wolf thing. In the wild, they groom each other, right? Maybe this felt okay for him—more okay than being pressed on, limbs and eyes and laughter crashing over him like strong, unfamiliar waves. I wanted to stroke his hair, but I kept my fingers busy working on the tiny thorns.
"First of all, as everybody obviously noticed, Jake is back." The room was instantly silent. "Maybe we didn't have the best reunion last night over at Charlie Swan's, but we can work through it." He looked like he was about to move on when Quil spoke up.
"Is he part of the pack again?" I didn't know Quil well enough to know what his tone implied. He was speaking to Sam but looking at Jake. "I want to know he's not going to do anything stupid, and to be honest, last night doesn't look too good for the whole 'not stupid' option." His shoulders were bunched up high, as if he were frozen in a shrug.
"Are you trying to say he shouldn't be allowed to be part of the pack?" Seth Clearwater's voice had deepened in to a man's since I last saw him, and as he leaned across Embry I saw he was now as tall and strong as any of the rest. "That's just wrong, Quil."
"He didn't come back for us!" Quil was clearly hurt, and beginning to shake in spite of his efforts. "He shows up out of nowhere and starts stalking little Miss Leechlover of the Century here and almost tears all four—five of us, including Leah, and still not including the kids—apart. That doesn't make me feel like we should just shake hands and buddy up again." Embry's eyes never left Jake's face. Seth had smiled dazedly at me and I realized he hadn't recognized me until now, but he returned to the conflict at hand before saying hello, watching Jake for his response.
"I left for you," Jake whispered. The room was once again utterly silent. I marveled at Sam for letting them sort it out; Jake's words praising he and Leah echoed in my mind. I guessed this was better than fighting about it as wolves later. "I left to spare you my mind."
"You left because you didn't want us in your mind! Totally different!" This was from Embry, ordinarily the more sedate of the two. He and Quil blazed at Jake from across Seth's long body, and I realized I hadn't actually asked Jake how long it had been since he'd left the pack. This was a fight that had been spoiling for a while.
Jake finally looked back at the two of them. Unlike them, he didn't appear angry; I realized I was holding my breath and exhaled, pulling another burr out at the same time. I was right about touching him. It was soothing for him to feel my fingers grooming the madness out of his skin. "It was the best thing I could do…to keep you from hating me," Jake said nakedly. His bluntness silenced Quil and Embry, who had ceased shaking, but the words once again knocked my breath away. They were uncomfortably close to ones I'd heard just yesterday from a different supernatural loner.
Sam looked at the group. "Unlike the rest of us, Jake is free to come and go. That's just the way this works—his situation, for whatever reason, is different, and he isn't automatically bound to the pack the way we are." I respected Sam's choice to remind the group that he, although Alpha, was subject to the whim of fate the same as they were. "If he chooses to rejoin the pack, we welcome him." He looked at Jake. "But your position in the pack is the same as when you left. We're not creating some special post for you." Leah laughed, from outside. No one else did.
She stepped back inside, all legs and hair and a wicked grin that slowly dissolved as she spoke. "For the record, I asked Jake to watch her," she said. "I knew that if the vamp showed up Jake could take her on his own, and the rest of us could patrol together." She shrugged. "I wasn't counting on the other leech showing up." She looked at Jake. "I wasn't counting on you wanting to join us again either," she finished, and her eyes hardened, clearly wanting an explanation. In spite of her tone, I recognized her attempt at diplomacy.
"I don't want anything from you guys but patience," Jake said in his half-voice. The dispute seemed finished for now. Seth leaned back against the wall, Quil and Embry quieted, slumped on their crossed arms and shot furtive glances at one another. Clearly, a large part of the conflict was confusion regarding pack hierarchy, and what they wanted—besides Quil and Embry, who still looked hurt—was reassurance Jake wasn't angling to upset it. The army of young wolves had stayed silent this entire time, and as the tension diffused they slowly began to rustle among themselves, kicking their legs and playfully smacking each other. I worked diligently on the last stubborn burr.
Sam's voice was low. "I've asked Bella to join us because Leah and I have developed a plan." He was looking at Leah now, and I squirmed a little, thinking of Emily. Leah's hard expression hadn't changed, but her gaze was focused on Quil and Embry. They straightened up a little, and Sam continued. "I think we should take that vacation we've been talking about—well, some of us." The younger boys were staring with wide eyes at Sam. "This vampire doesn't seem like much of a threat—she's usually alone, she's wounded. But we can never quite get her." His frustration was apparent in the emphasis. He turned to look at me just as I pulled the last spike from Jake's skin; the first tiny hole had already sealed itself. "Bella, we're basically going to ask you to be bait."
In the back of my mind, I knew this was the only thing they could possibly want from me. Still, it was a little stunning to hear it said out loud, and to think that the last time I was here no one would allow me to offer myself to the cause. Things had definitely changed. Sam was waiting for me to say something. "Em said you'd be up for it," he said, thinking my silence was hesitation. "And we thought--" here he looked at the mammoth beside him--"with Jake, there was no chance any harm could come to you." Jake was looking down at the table again; although he was so tall we could all see his face there was no discernable expression to tell me what he might be thinking.
"Of course," I said. I hoped Sam could tell by my face that I would agree to anything they needed to rid the world of the scourge I had introduced. Vampire grudges, theoretically, could never die. They had to be snuffed out. I wondered if Edward and Alice were tracking her as we sat here. "Has anyone been in touch with the Cullens?" I knew Jake would clench when I said the name, but I wasn't prepared for the collective intake of breath in the room. Once again everyone was staring at his large frame. I calmly picked a twig out of Jake's hair and laid it in the small pile of burrs before I continued. "They're here for the same reason. They're probably tracking her right now," I said. Seth Clearwater shrugged.
"I can talk to them," he said. Quil and Embry rolled their eyes and Leah growled. Jake's muscles were slowly unknotting, one by one, and the little wolves began to pick on one another again. Everything was okay.
"Bella, when Jake is finished with the truck I want the pair of you to head in to the woods. We're going to give you a six hour start and then follow you in—tell Charlie you'll be camping or something, that's basically true. We'll figure out where to sleep later." He looked around him. "I'm going to take you guys with me. Leah, Seth, Jared and Paul are going to guard La Push, but I want Quil and Embry to come with me." The pair looked around like they hadn't heard him, but of course they would do whatever he said. "I'm expecting her to try to take advantage of your distance from La Push. She's very persistent," he said, his brows furrowed, "so we want to give her something that feels like a genuine shot." He nodded at Jake. "She can't possibly know how many vamps Jake here has killed by himself."
I looked at Jake's face again. How many could that realistically be? Vampires were the end of the evolutionary ladder—the fastest, the strongest, the most dangerous. But here he was with the scars to prove it; the right tool for the job, he'd said. I wondered if he'd been trying to die, and if he was, whether he'd given it up for a place in the pack. And maybe, I let myself drift, a place with me.
It looked like we would have a nice long road trip to figure it out.