"Hey, slow it down. Whataya want from me?"

-Adam Lambert "Whataya Want From Me"

Damn it was so cold here in Minnesota. Nothing like the nice warm weather of L.A. I looked up for a second to look at the gray sky, the sun trying to shine through. Snow was falling lightly and the cold wind was gently blowing across my face. I've never felt weather like this. It wasn't a bad thing, but I was just so used to the warmth of the sun beating against my face that I longed for at least a second of the sun. As I continued on, even though I was alone, I could still sense Kendall and the others behind me. Kendall's eyes burying into the back of my head. God, I don't know what I'm going to do with him. I wish I could have him back but I wasn't going to be in at Palmwoods long, and I especially didn't want to go through another train wreck break up like the last two times. I know the first time was mostly my fault and the second time was mostly Kendall's fault. But the second time we could have worked.

I don't like, Tina but I'm not going to take Kendall back just so she couldn't have him. That wasn't fair to him. He deserved better. She gets on my nerves so bad, though. I know, I know jealous right? Well of course I'm going to be! I still have feelings for Kendall, and it just angers me that other girls are trying to get with him. At least wait till I'm gone for good.

"Wait up!" I looked behind me to see Kendall trying to catch up. I don't know why but my heart still races when I see him. You would think I would have gotten over this whole love at first sight feeling.

When he came by my side, slowing at my pace, he chuckled. "Do you even know where you're going?" he questioned.

I ignored that. Obviously I didn't know where I was going. But I just wanted to be anywhere where Tina wasn't. I want to know why it was taking so long to walk to the ice rink. "How much longer do we have to walk?" I asked.

He looked forward as if searching for the park. "No long," he replied stowing his hands in his pocket. I looked up at him but he kept forward. I watched his ice skates tied by the laces, bounce off his chest.

"Are you mad at me," he asked catching me looking at him. Mad? Why would I be mad?

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"Well..." he started. He took his hands out his pockets and started counting off. "One, you stormed off. Two, you've been ignoring me. Three, been giving me dirty looks..." he trailed off waiting for an explanation.

"I'm not mad. I'm just-"

"Jealous?" Kendall said. My mouth dropped for a second.

"Really, Kendall?" I asked

"What? It just seems like it," Kendall said as if it was no big deal that he had just said that.

I looked at the handsome blond boy as if he lost all his marbles. Yeah, I was jealous but don't go saying it. I blinked at few times, in disbelief. BOYS! That go me so infuriated.

"Go marry her for all I care!" I spat a note of hysteria in my voice.

Kendall looked at me like I was crazy this time. "I just might," he said. It was silent for a moment. I could hear that idiotic girls voice behind us. James and Carlos were arguing with one another but it sounded like they were only joking around. Nothing serious. I tried so hard not to smile but James was shouting "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, I WILL HURT YOU WITH MY MASCULINE TAN HANDS! YOU'LL FEEL PAIN AND SOFTNESS AT THE SAME TIME!"

I was brought back to our situation when Kendall chuckled. "Gotta love them," he said. I smiled faintly. I decided to put my skates over my shoulder because they were cutting the circulation out of my fingers.

"So, you really don't know how to skate?" he asked changing the subject. No more arguing? Good. It was stupid anyway. Just let it go. The tension eased and I smiled.

"Nope. You're still going to skate with me, right?" I asked.

"What kind of awesome, handsome, funny, talented, caring, person would I be?" he asked holding his hands to his heart, one hand on the other.

There he goes again. That flirting in a joking manner. Before I could say anything, Tina popped up behind Kendall. She held onto his shoulders looking over his right one.

"Hey, save me a skate?" she asked. I rolled my eyes. What I'd give to jam an icicle down her throat.

The only thing that satisfies me was Kendall's response. "Yeah sure," it sounded very unsure. He even looked at me with apologetic eyes. I raised my brow.

"Maybe the three of us can skate together?" Tina said. I know she said that just to piss me off. I could hear the sarcasm and the tease in her voice. I bit my tongue. I just wanted to strangle her right now.

"Choir can't skate. So, I think it would be best if I just skated with her," Kendall said.

"Typical," Tina muttered.

I looked at her with a dirty look. "What is?" I said challengingly. I knew what she was talking about. Since I was from L.A I couldn't skate. I wanted to hear her say it so that way I can really have the fire in my eyes and give her what she's been asking for since she decided to tag along today. I'm a really angry person.

"Nothing," Tina said waving it off.

"No, I wanna know," I said stopping in my tracks. Tina had also stopped, folding her arms across her chest.

"Ladies, please," Kendall said keeping his ground in the middle of us. He put a hand on my arm making sure I stay back. James, Carlos, and Logan were caught up with us now.

"What's going on?" James asked. I could feel his eyes on me as mine glared at Tina.

"It's nothing. Can we just go to the park? Please," Kendall begged to me more than to Tina. I wiped his hand off my arm.

"Whatever," I said resentfully. "Tina, if you know what's good for you, stay away from me because I'm seconds away from punching you in the face," I threatened with a nasty voice. I started off...

What is with this girl? She must know about Kendall and I so why is she being such a bitch! I can't stand girls like her. I huffed, irritated. When I looked to the person beside me, thinking it was Kendall, James looked at me and smiled softly for a second.

"You okay?" James asked.

"Just peach-y. I gritted through my teeth. I looked ahead squinting to see if I could see the park. This was not my day. I thought it was going to be romantic and maybe tell Kendall how I feel but this Tina bitch it ruining everything. And Kendall is fricking going along with it! You see, this is why I liked James. He was so sweet and concerned about me. I love attention like that. James gave it to me even when I didn't deserve it.

So, why am I wasting all my time on Kendall? Why would I even have to ask myself that? I love him. He just seems different and we have this connection. When I see him, my heart races. When he touches me, body tenses up. I swear I could listen to him talk for days. I can't just give up on that. Even though that's basically what I did. I just need some time to think. I don't want a repeat of last time and I need for him to trust me. If he did that I would take him back.

But apparently he doesn't want me back since he's flirting with Tina. Oh wait, she's flirting with him. I rolled my eyes. If he wanted me back he wouldn't act like any of this was happening and set Tina straight. So, maybe he doesn't.

Maybe I waited too long to come back to L.A. Maybe, he's moved on. That would explain Jo. Which I'm not totally mad about. It's understandable. I forced him to do that. It's my fault. I left him broken and maybe Jo was helping him. I guess I couldn't be mad about that. I want him to be happy and if Jo makes him happy so be it. Hell, I don't think I was ever going to come back if my dad didn't get admitted to the hospital.

I didn't have to come back though. I could have just waited for a phone call about his state. I guess maybe a part of me wanted to come back. I admit, I missed him to death. How I longed to be held in his arms again, to watch him sleep, to feel the touch of his lips, the warmth of his breath, the sound that leaves his lips when he says my name. I threw that all away just so I couldn't ruin his friendship with James any longer. Maybe Logan was right. I should have left them both alone. Now I feel depressed.

UGH! But this Tina bitch! She couldn't possibly make him happy! Not like the way Jo or I could. She seems like a sister or something. I honestly could tell that he feels the same way. If he liked her, he would have told me. If there's one thing about Kendall, it's that he's honest. Though he didn't tell me about Jo. None of this made sense! Why would he want to make this potential triangle! Hasn't he learned from...Oh my god. He would dare-

James clearing his throat brought my focus back. He broke the silence. "You shouldn't worry about Kendall and Tina, Choir. They go way back I don't even think he fully understands Tina's intentions," James laughed.

"That's not funny. That's worse because she could make a move and he could go with it and they kiss and touch and take each others clothes off and kiss and touch and lick and sex each other,"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold you hairspray there, babe," James laughed. "That was a lot to say in one breath," I could feel my cheeks going red.

"Sorry, I just panicked,"

I looked behind me to see Tina and Kendall walking side by side. He saw me looking and half smiled."No, panic is when you've lost you hair care products but there's a store to replace them with," I looked back at him. "That was just a whole to level of panic. Clearly, you've lost your mind. And once you lose that there's no way of getting it back," James said trying his best to make it a joke. I didn't feel any better though.

"He knows of her intentions James. I know he does."

"You think Kendall is doing this to make you feel like he did with the our ordeal?"

"I don't know. Maybe?"

"That's crazy he wouldn't ever do that," James defended his best friend. "I mean, he loves you. He shouldn't be mad at you. He should be mad at me for what happened. I knew I should have backed off I just, I wanted you so bad..." He trailed off. He rubbed his chin. "He doesn't know about our kiss right?" James asked.

"No and he's not ever going to. Why you ask?"

"I think that maybe if he knew, he would do something like that,"

"He doesn't know. He wouldn't be talking to us-"

"Not us. Me," James corrected. "I don't know if you know but Kendall is back to his territorial ways since you've gotten back. He's snapped at me a few times," James divulged.

I pulled the butterfly clip out my hair. It felt like it was making my growing headache more intense.

"Dude, I'm so not in the mood for this. This is stupid!"

"Tell me about it. What are you gonna do?"

"Does it matter? We're not together. We aren't ever going to be so let him play this little game of his. Maybe he'll realized he's the only one playing and get bored. I don't know," I don't know why I said that. Part of me was so pissed that this could be what he was doing and the other part of me felt like it was true. I'm going home soon, so did playing along with him worth it? Someone was going to end up hurt and I didn't feel like having Kendall hate me or me hate him. It just wasn't worth it. We're friends. I wasn't going to risk that.