Hey, so, next chapter. Looks like nobody actually read the last one! Please give it a chance, it is only short!
Thanks very muchly! Hope you like it.
The breze suronded me, Bringing the sent of fresh life. The beauty of the evening sun, shadowed by the pain of loss. The breath escaping from my pained heart, like the last wispers of a mans life.
They always told me of a time when it used to be easy. Never moved by the raw emotions caused by loss, it came easy. But after this, I dont think I'll ever believe that again.
You see, when you watch the boy you love, tortured and burned, they beauty of an evening sun set doesn't seem as inviting as it used to be. I'm not the same person I was, before that day. And Alice knows that more than anyone.
Italy will never be breathtaking agin, now all I see, when I think of it, is death and hatred. I hate what he had to become, because of me, and nobody can chage that.
As I glace down at the rippling water, I thought of that day, and what I had become, the monster that broke my heart and mind in one stupied moment of weakness.
Everyone says, if you had a chance to go back and to change things, then would you? But you make you own destiny, the desions influence the outcome, even if they are bad decisions, there is no changing the past,all you can do is change the present, and hope for a better future.
No, even though I killed my heart, I wouldn't go back, because in this life, you get one chance to do it right, and every thing you have done wrong can't be changed no matter what. The future is changeable to an extent, but no matter what, you will always end up alone.
A friend once said to me, If you never get close to anyone, then you never leave anything, and the image of you fades, so does the love. I don't blame anyone else for this mess, only myself. I can't change what I did, so why drag everyone elso down with me?
See, I still can't get the image out of my head. His last smile, looking into his gloden eyes, seeing the unspoken promises of a better life, the one we could have had.
His eyes red, from the blood of incents, the lives I lost, the lives that could have been happy. But I have never blamed him for these loses, no, they were my fault. Every little thing that dented out perfect picture of happinees is my fault, I will always pay the price for my weakness.
As I stood on the cliff edge, the place were all of this started, I relised that I will never be happy again. Nobody can take his place, nobody can make up for time lost, the love that were could have, should have, deserved to have.
The pain of him crashed into me once more, stealing my breath.
The pain of memories just sometimes becomes too much.
Finally, after the pain of years of regret, of hate, of sorrow, it was about to end, to become a fog, because when a person dies, then so do their memories.
That what I hoped at least. People believe that people survive in the hearts of their loved one, but for once, I hope that isn't true. i don't want anyone to remember me, what I did to him; what I made him. Nobody deserved that.
Well, if I can't be with him in life, then all I have is death.
"I'm tired, so tired of hurting." I muttered, as I leaned over the cliff face, the waind blowing my dress in soft waves. A tear, not sad, but a tear of relief.
The doctors will say that I drowned, but not really, I died five days ago, in that chamber, with death cloaked faces staring down upon us. I didn't drown, not really.
I died of a broken heart.
Okay, so it was a bit too dramitic, but hey, what are you gonna do? Hope you liked it.
If you have time, please review, it means alot to me!
Love and shit,
PaperDreamsable