AN: I forgot zeppelin! There, I feel better.

*****

My bones creaked, and I felt older than I had in a long time; it was hard to believe I'd only been in Washington for three days.

Edward stood like a statue on the far corner of the porch; the images accompanying the conversation inside couldn't have been comfortable to see. As I watched him, my mind perused previous questions about the possibility of loving Edward as a human. Would Edward have loved me as much if he were able to hear my thoughts as easily as everyone else's? Another mystery that couldn't be solved. I realized he was watching me, his eyes taking me in even as the rest of his body stayed impossibly still. One of his hands was braced against the railing, and the faint dusting of sunlight peeking through the grim sky made his skin dance brilliantly.

"Thank you Edward, that was very gracious of you," I said quietly. I knew that Leah, with her own unnatural abilities, would be able to hear our entire conversation; I hoped she slept instead. He didn't move, except for a gentle parting of his lips.

"It's strange," he said quietly, the melody of his voice barely reaching my ears. "And possibly quite rude, considering the private nature of your conversation…but I feel as though I should defend her." He cocked his head and smiled at me, blasting me with the overwhelming loveliness of his face. "Her mind so blatantly contradicts her words—humans can be so puzzling." We kept a reasonable distance between us, in spite of my rampant desire to run to him, to touch him; I could tell he was going to talk about anything, anything, to keep from discussing Jake and I, even the private thoughts of others. My perverse need to comfort him would not help.

"She's got a lot to sort out," I mumbled, and turned to look out at the dark trees surrounding us. "Are you able to hear anything? From the…fighting, I mean."

"Yes," he said, and the wash of beauty in his smile was replaced by arctic stoicism. "Many things—snatches of the wolves' thoughts, so many at once…and theirs, as well." His nostrils flared. "The wolves are not to be trifled with. They have always been strong, and with surprise on their side they were virtually indestructible. But now," he turned to look at me, and his honeyed gaze searched my eyes, "with even a wounded Jacob Black, they are exceptionally powerful." He waited, then continued. "Did you know that he was….hunting?"

"I found out that first night," I told him. We looked at one another, and I knew our worried expressions were mirrors. "I told him it was suicide…and maybe its foolish, but I thought he was going to stop."

"Yes," Edward whispered faintly. "He was." I realized that Edward would have read Jacob's dreams as he carried him, his thoughts in battle; although the raw language of Jacob's mind was probably mystifying, Edward probably knew much more about what was happening there than I did. I stopped myself from asking, knowing it was wrong on every level. Edward watched with the same intensity from a moment before, and never looked away. When they came, the song in his words was deeply sad. "Many mated pairs were severed by the pack, and as I've mentioned, vampires who experience the change of bonding do not recover from its end. They hunt him because they can do nothing else."

"There are other things they can do," I whispered. "There are other things in life, besides…" I couldn't finish. The words felt thick in my throat, catching and collecting tears I willed not to fall.

"There is nothing else in death, Bella. And that is what we are," he whispered back. We were quiet together for a long moment before he spoke again. "May we sit together?" He swept his arm towards the stairs where we had said goodbye the night before, and I nodded. As we took our seats, the air chilled and settled between us and I shivered; things felt strange. I studied my hands, and deliberately made myself catalogue the flawless beauty of Edward's in comparison: the elegant shimmer radiating from his diamond hard flesh, the lovely bloodless palm, the deft and perfect creases cutting across it. He could never sunburn, or wrinkle, or scar. My hands looked withered and fleshy. My hands looked used; so much of the rest of my body felt new, sadly untouched, but my hands…. Edward watched my gaze, and closed his own into fists. I reached over and gingerly touched the nearest one, feeling it open, letting the chill seep through my skin. The raw gold in his eyes was the only warmth between us until he smiled once again. "You have always been so brave, Bella—sometimes it still startles me."

"It isn't bravery that lets me touch you," I replied. "It never has been."

"There is more in your eyes now than the simple, unquestioning acceptance of your monstrous vampire boyfriend," he said, and his eyes twinkled. "What did you see, looking so intently at our hands?"

I sighed, and forced myself to smile until I truly felt it. "How different we are. How much I've aged since the last time I took your hand."

"See, Bella?" He murmured. "Do you not think yourself brave, to look time in the eye?" I couldn't raise mine to his face, instead searching my own palm. "You are more beautiful now than you were, Isabella Swan. You are more beautiful each passing moment."

"And you are a hopeless romantic, Edward Cullen. Don't make me use your middle names just because you're sentimental about getting old." We both chuckled, and then Edward's head snapped up. He stood abruptly, my hand falling back in my lap and lifting the chill surrounding me.

Jacob stood at the edge of the woods, leaning against the nearest tree. No blood was visible, but his head hung low, and his breath came out in shallow gasps.

"It's done?" Edward's eyebrows were low as he searched Jacob's mind. I found I was rushing towards him without being able to stop myself, and as I approached, he turned his head from me.

"Jake…" I whispered, and found I could go no further. He began to stagger to the porch, away from me. Edward moved like lightning across the grass towards him and caught him, just as he was about to topple. I felt a wash of relief until I realized Edward was gently shaking him.

"Don't be a fool," he hissed. Jake moved an arm as if to swat him away, but Edward curled his lip and began to heave him back over his shoulder in a fireman's carry until Jake yelped. The difference in their size was startling.

"No!" He said, and then I did run to him. He still wouldn't look at me, but seemed unable or unwilling to keep me from touching him. "It's over," he whispered. "The rest of the pack will be here in a few minutes to get Leah." He looked firmly at Edward. "And her."

Now it was my turn to protest. "No!" I tried to pull his face towards mine, but it wouldn't budge. He stared defiantly at Edward from the ground, the drawn hollows of his cheeks gently puffing as he breathed deeply and quickly.

"Can't you see?" Edward's enraged voice was barely audible, and I knew it had dropped below my hearing range when I saw Jacob's face twitch with tears. He looked ashamed and angry, and he lurched roughly to his feet and moved once more towards the house. Edward turned to me.

"He knows, Bella," he said. The sorrow outlining each word filled my mind. "He knows that you love him, but he is afraid, and searching for proof that you do not." He leaned towards me, filling my lungs with the spice of his icy breath, his cool hands resting ever so gently on my shoulders. "He loves you so deeply it is a madness. If he did not, I would never abide his being so rude to you. But in truth…I understand how he feels." He paused, exhaled; "the pictures in his mind have already begun to change again." Edward very quickly, very lightly, hugged me to him, and then let me go. "I will speak to you again once you return to Forks." And just as suddenly as Jake had appeared, Edward was gone. Quil and Embry took his place.