"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality. Open your eyes, look up to the sky and see. I'm just a poor boy. I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low. Any way the wind blows doesn't really matter to me. Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead. Mama, life had just begun. But now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, didn't mean to make you cry if I'm not back again this time tomorrow. Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters. Too late, my time has come. Sends shivers down my spine. Body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth. Mama, I don't wanna die. I sometimes wish I'd been born at all...

"I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me...

"He's just a poor boy...spare him his life from this monstrosity...

"We will not let you go...

"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye? So you think you can love me and leave me to die? Oh baby can't do this to me baby. Just gotta get out, just gotta get right out of here. Nothing really matters. Anyone can see. Nothing really matters to me. Any way the wind blows..."

-Queen "Bohemian Rhapsody

Kendall sat in a hospital examination room dressed in one of their gowns. He stared blankly at the white wall in front of him. As the nurse cleaned his bloody lip and the drying blood near his neck wound thoughts of the flashing cop car and ambulance lights, the look in Choir's face that hadn't changed since he bashed Jessie in the head with the shovel, his mom apologizing for being late, Logan asking him if he was okay, James limp body being pulled away after the paramedic shouted that he wasn't breathing, Carlos holding a gauze to his arm to stop the bleeding that would surely need stitches after being knifed circled in his thoughts. The only good thing about tonight...Jessie was dead.

It all seemed like one big freaking nightmare to Kendall. But it was all real, as he sat there, the doctor beginning to ask questions. He didn't know when the doctor had got there, but he was now standing in front of him examining his condition and questioning him. Besides having to almost relive the experience when talking to the cops and the Doctor it was now keeping him from thinking. He was relived to be pulled from his overwhelming thoughts that relentlessly tortured his already beaten body. The thoughts of James possibly being dead, Choir being raped, and what was going to happen to him because of him killing Jessie. It was all too much and he was surely going to be pushed over the edge if he didn't stop thinking. But he wished those questions would be answered no matter how much it would pain him if it was yes, yes, jail. He needed to know. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to ask. What he wanted was for people to just come out and say it.

"Kendall," The doctor began as he slid blue latex gloves on. Kendall looked at him but didn't answer. "You're going to need quite a few stitches for that neck wound. You said you were hit in the neck with a shovel?" Kendall nodded. The nurse came in with a plastic pan of utensils and placed it beside the doctor on the counter. The doctor picked up a needle in the pan and held it up to his face. "This is to numb it so you don't feel any of the pain while I stitch, okay?" Kendall nodded. The doctor looked at the nurse then back to Kendall. "Son, can you talk?" he asked curiously. Kendall didn't say anything and looked away. The doctor sighed "Hold still..." he said as he drew closer to Kendall's neck with the needle. Kendall winced at the sharp pain that the needle created. After a few more injections of numbing serum the doctor went to work with the stitching.

"Kendall honey!" Mrs. Knight came hurrying in. Kendall smiled faintly. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm..." he trailed off because honestly he didn't know how to answer that. If he said yes, he would be lying. If he said no he would upset his mother so he simply shrugged his shoulders. The mother sighed and tears filled her eyes.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm sorry I kept you waiting. I lost track of time. This is all my fault-"

"No it's not. Don't say that. It's not ones fault but..." Kendall trailed off. He wanted to say his name but he couldn't bring himself to do it. God, how much he hated that kid. He didn't care that he was dead. He deserved it but his mother knew who he was talking about and know that that was the kid Kendall killed and who knows what was going to happen to him. He was sure she was thinking about it too but he didn't want to say it.

It went silent. The doctor lifting Kendall's chin to have more access to his throat so he could get the stitching done and clean. "How many stitches?" Kendall's mother asked.

The sniffed as he tied the 5 stitch up. He looked at the neck and then to Mrs. Knight. "Maybe 13-15. Possibly even 17," He said. He started in on a new stitch. "Still numb or can you feel?" The doctor asked.

"I'm fine," Kendall said.

"You maybe one of the luckier ones tonight," The doctor finally said after a long moment of silence. "Well besides Mr. Henderson..." The doctor trailed off. Kendall's eyebrows rose in curiosity.

"Please, doctor. Not right now..." Mrs. Knight asked.

"Why," Kendall chocked on his word, that simple question was the most hardest thing he's ever asked in his life.

"Kendall-"

"I wanna know," Kendall stated cutting his mother off from protesting.

Kendall thought for a moment and answered with one of the simplest answers he's ever known, but tonight it would be the hardest thing he would ever have to. "Yes."

The doctor looked at Mrs. Knight who nodded. "Well, your friend James has a severe concussion and is in a coma. No one knows when he'll wake up for if he does. He's got 8 broken ribs, minor cuts on the face and a badly bruised eye. The young girl has a severe concussion which need 9 stitches, minor cuts and bruises as well and she won't let any of the nurses check her for the possibility of rape. She's showing a lot of signs but won't let anyone confirm it. Mr. Garcia needs needs 19 stitches for his knife wound, 5 cracked ribs, and minor cuts and bruises," the doctor revealed.

Kendall took it all in his hands tightening into fists. "Can I see him? James?" Kendall asked.

"Once I'm done here you can." The doctor replied. "After him, try and get the girl to answer if she's been raped or not," The doctor said.

"She's a stubborn girl," Kendall said.

"That she is...She threw her shoe at me," He said as he tied the 11 stitch in. "I think you might only need 15,"

"We'll be able to leave right after this right?" Mrs. Knight asked.

"Yep. Kendall, Carlos and Choir should all be free able to be home for Christmas," At that a nurse came in.

She knocked lightly on the door and the doctor looked at her. She looked at a chart in her hands then back up at the Doctor. "Sir, James is awake," She said.

"Really?" he asked. The nurse nodded her head and walked away. The doctor looked at Kendall and smiled. "It's a Christmas miracle," he said. Kendall merely smiled, he didn't think it was funny cause it sounded like he was mocking him instead of happy that he was actually awake. He wasn't going to assume so he just kept his mouth shut. "Few more stitches and you're free to see him,"...

Choir came to James room after seeing the nurse leave in a hurry. Her room was right next to his so she saw her leave in a hurry which led her to believe something was up. When she entered his room and he looked at her. She froze in place. As if she couldn't cry anymore tonight, her heart felt like it was going to burst out her chest, her eyes welt with tears and her throat got tight.

A smiled cracked on James face. "Hey..." his voice was hoarse. Choir inhaled and her body shook. She ran to his side and hugged him tight. James held her back with one arm and stroked her hair with the other.

"I'm so sorry," She sobbed into his chest.

"You should be," He paused to laugh. "Were you out your mind when you decided to come looking for me?" he asked.

"That's not funny, James," Choir said.

"You know what is though? When you told me to run after you threw yourself at Jessie. Like I was ever going to do that," James said.

Choir broke free from her hug wiping her wet eyes. "Why are you joking around? You could have been killed!"

"But here I lay and even though I was repeatedly punched in the face, I probably look better than Kendall, Carlos, and Logan all together," He continued. Choir giggled.

"Stop," She said in a serious voice.

James smiled. "I should be the one that's sorry though," he said.

"For what?" Choir asked.

"I realized something when Jessie was making you say you loved me. You can't force someone to say something, just like I shouldn't have tried forced you to feel something for me," James said. "It's just wrong. And I'm sorry I kept on forcing myself on you," James said.

Choir swallowed hard as she looked away. "Don't cry," James said softly. Choir shook her head and put her hands to her face.

"I don't anymore," She cried. James furrowed his eye brows and when he touched her arm she was quick to get to her feet and backed away.

"Are you okay?" James asked his forehead creasing more as he watched her.

Choir shook her head again. "I don't know..."

James eyes widened with horror. "Know what? Choir did he-" James asked trying to sit up but his face scrunched up in pain and he laid back down.

"He got inside me!" She freaked and took two steps back. She placed her hands on the side of her head. "I don't know what to do anymore. I deserved it-"

"No- Choir-"

"Sweetheart!" Mrs. Diamonds voice rang through the hospital room as she entered. "I got here as soon as I could!" As she ran to him and kissed his cheek and brought him into a hug. That split second that she was in his view of seeing Choir than out of the view when hugging him, Choir was gone.

Kendall, who was now dressed in his jeans and a white T the hospital let him have, was walking down the hall to get to James room. His walking slowed when he saw his girlfriend hurrying into one of the girls bathroom. The possibility of her being raped almost immediately infiltrated his thoughts.

When he entered the bathroom she was on the floor backed against the wall sitting with her knees against her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around them. Kendall slowly and carefully approached her. "I don't want to be with you anymore," She said with a blank tone. Kendall stopped abruptly in his tracks.

"What?" Kendall asked, perplexed.

"I said I don't want to be with you anymore. So, please, just leave," She gritted through her teeth. Kendall blinked a few times but then lowered himself to her.

"Baby-" he said reaching a arm out to touch her shoulder but she smacked it away and scrambled out of his reach.

"Don't- Just don't!" She shouted. Kendall stood up.

"Choir, someone needs to check you out," Kendall informed her with great concern and hurt in his voice.

Choir backed away even further. "I can't. I'm sorry. I can't. I can't. I can't do this. I can't. I can't..."

Kendall went to take another step but she yelled. "Don't," and he put his foot back on the ground. Choir then got to her feet and wrapped her arms around her stomach. "Get out," she ordered, her voice shaking.

"Not until you agree with me-"

"You can't make me. You can't make me do anything,"

Kendall swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not going to make you do anything,"

"Yes you are! Just like Jessie made me-" She stopped herself as she pulled at her hair. She violently pointed at the bathroom door. "Get out!" she ordered again.

"No!" Kendall said forcefully.

Choir started towards Kendall and tried to get by him but he held his arms out. "No!" Choir screamed as he brought her into his arms to hold her back against his chest.

"It's going to be okay. I swear," Kendall said trying to calm her down but she was able to get free and turned and pushed him against the bathroom wall.

"What is wrong with you!" Choir yelled at him. Kendall stared at her, speechless. She stared back at him for a few seconds and then ran out.

When Kendall exited the bathroom to see if she was anywhere in sight, she was gone. He sighed heavily. He began to walk forward as his mother was coming down the hall. "Did you see Choir?" he asked her.

"No why?" the mom asked. Kendall didn't say anything but gave her a knowing look. The moms mouth fell.

"She wasn't," The mom gasped.

Kendall shook his head. "I was too late," Kendall's voice broke and his mother brought him into a hug.

"You need to know baby, there was nothing you can do. This isn't your fault." his mother tried to reassure him.

Kendall wept in his mothers arms. After a couple of minutes Kendall pulled away. "I have to go home," He said.

"James wants to see you, honey," the mom said.

Kendall exhaled sharply. "Tell him I'm sorry. I'll be back tomorrow. I can't be in this place anymore," He said.

Mrs. Knight nodded. "Okay, I'll take you home," she agreed.

When they finally arrived home, Kendall immediately rushed upstairs and into James room. He slammed the door behind him and locked it. He began to pace back and forth then finally stopping to enter the bath room. He tore his white shirt off that the hospital let him have and dropped it on the floor behind him.

He gripped the bathroom sink till his knuckles were burning white. His breathing got faster and heavier. He closed his eyes tightly then tried to close his mouth to stop from breathing the way he was. He could feel this overwhelming pain fill his chest, his eyes burned, and a cry that was trying to force it's way out his mouth. When he couldn't hold it anymore he yelled. "GOD!" and he punched the bathroom mirror. When it shattered and pieces rained over the sink he looked at his knuckles. Blood began to ooze from fresh cuts and drip down his hand. When he looked back up at the mirror he saw something that stood out. A prescription bottle. He opened the mirror and reached for the bottle. He didn't bother reading it and went write to opening it and dumping the containment's into his cupped hand. Over a dozen white pills piled in his hand. He stared at it...

Mrs. Knight was about to leave when she heard a thud from upstairs. She walked over to the bottom of the stairs. "Kendall?" she asked from the bottom of the stairs. When he didn't answer she called for him again. "Kendall? Are you all right?" No answer. She walked up the steps and headed over to James door. When she turned the knob she realized it was locked. She knocked. "Kendall sweetheart, open the door," She waited a few seconds but still no sign of Kendall. She wrestled the lock again trying to get it to open. "Kendall! You're scaring me open the door! KENDALL!"

Mrs. Knight looked at the key whole and when she saw it was one of the push locks she tore a bobby pin from her hair. She jammed it into the hole and when it clicked she opened the door. "Ken-" she was cut off when she saw her son on the ground.

"KENDALL!" She screamed.