Authors Note: Special thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story. Your reviews mean the world to me and I'm shocked at the response this story has received.

Rietta and I had a FABULOUS time at the Wales comic con, got to talk to Anthony Lewis and Tom Price, had an awesome chat to one of the script writers/directors/producers of Casimir Effect, also had an awesome chat with Ben Lloyd-Holmes.

Special thanks to Rietta for : the Comic Con, the SWA tickets and the hotel by the lake xDxD

Dare Count- 2. Spot the dare.

Chapter 9- Enilla Tad i mewn 'r byd

September 1999

Jack walked up the steps to his father's hotel room. He was wet to the bone and feeling miserable; not ill, just down.

He closed his eyes and stopped at the first door on the right, raising his hand. He was just about to knock when the door flew open and his dad smiled at him.

"Hey Jack."

"Dad..." Jack trailed off. His dad smiled and opened his arms as Jack stepped into them.

"I miss her too."

Jack choked back the sob and buried his head into his dad's shoulder; he was exhausted and missed his mother and his brother terribly.

"I'm scared Dad."

Franklin sighed and guided Jack into the room. He shut the door behind him and ushered Jack to the bed, and he settled his son down and sighed. It wasn't often Jack got like this- he hadn't had a panic attack since Lois, almost seven years ago. He pushed Jack back against the headboard and kissed his forehead.

"Jack, kiddo, you need to talk to me, tell me what you're seeing."

Jack shook his head. "Dad I'm okay, I just feel down."

"No panic attack then?"

"No, I just want… I'm scared to love Ianto."

"Why?"

"It's my fault."

Franklin raised an eyebrow. "Jack..."

Jack closed his eyes. "Everyone I love gets hurt Dad."

Franklin closed his eyes. "Jack, it's not your fault."

Jack shook his head, tears slowly trickling down his face. "If I had come home when she asked me to, she wouldn't have driven on the ice."

Franklin closed his eyes. "Your mum made the choice you know, Jack. You were being sensible. I don't blame you, Son."

Jack looked up at his dad. "I...I can't..." Jack broke out, losing the battle with the sobs fighting their way out of his body.

Franklin gathered his son into his arms and rocked back and forth as Jack clung to him, like he had all those years ago. Eight years today he had got that dreadful phone call.

"Mr Harkness, I'm Officer Jake Grimshaw and this is Officer Lorraine Mcknight, is it okay if we come in?"

Franklin closed his eyes. Jack had been the only one who'd seen the wreckage, having been driving back when he came across the crash and had pulled up to help, only to find his own mother and Gray. Franklin didn't remember being told, just bits here and there.

"We received a phone call... about fifty minutes ago... crash site... Jack Harkness rang in... hysterical... I'm sorry Mr Harkness... Your wife didn't make it."

At first he'd wanted Jack, but Jack had been taken to hospital, being treated for shock. The first panic attack, Franklin thought, holding Jack tighter. "Shhh Cariad, I've got you."

Jack sobbed louder and choked out: "I'm sorry Dad."

Franklin pulled back and stared at Jack. "Whatever for?"

"Everything," Jack coughed. "I know you wanted me to be a teacher or something proper...and for mum, and Grey...and I now you wanted me to settle down, nice girl, kids, but Dad..."

"JACK!" snapped Franklin; his heart was pounding as he stared at his heartbroken son. Jack looked up at him, teary-eyed. "I have never been more proud of you than I was when I saw you up on that stage when you were singing your heart out at the opening night. I'm happy if you're happy. I don't care that you're gay: what you do in that aspect is none of my business. Ianto is an amazing guy. Stop beating yourself up son; the only person you need to forgive you is yourself"!"

Jack pulled back to look at his dad. "But...if I had just listened to Mum…"

"No Jack, if you had listened to your mother, it might have been you in her place, and she would never have forgiven herself. I have never been as relieved as I was when I was told that you were being treated for shock."

Jack sighed. "I was going to listen to Mum, but my car wouldn't start, so I had to wait for the recovery truck to come. They fixed the car and I started home; was about two minutes down the highway when I saw the wreck. I just wish I had phoned when the car wouldn't start."

Franklin nodded. "Maybe that would have helped, but you know something; you did everything you could Jack."

Jack leant back and closed his eyes. "I don't remember much after phoning the ambulance. I hung up from them, and I went down to the wreckage and realised it was Mum."

"The police told me. They told me you were the one that found her, and when they turned up I was terrified you or Grey had been hurt."

Jack closed his eyes. "He hates me, and I really don't understand."

Franklin shook his head. "You and me both."

Jack starred out of the window of the hotel. His dad was sat on the bed, glancing through the newspaper.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?" He turned to the bed, to look at his dad.

"Talk to me, tell me about Ianto Jones."

Jack felt the smile break out on his face. He glanced quickly at the clock, he had a two hours before he had to be at the theatre to get ready. Two hours wouldn't be enough to express how incredible Ianto was, but he might be able to give his dad a vague impression.

"He's amazing Dad, he teaches at the same school with Rhys, he does History. He's smart, funny and perfect."

"Sounds like a keeper."

"To be honest, perfection grates on the nerves a bit. I was planning on dumping him in a couple of weeks, go out with some total scumbag." Jack joked with a smile before he moved to sit on the bed beside his dad. "I hate being away from him. I love what I'm doing, don't get me wrong, but it hurts..."

"Do you love him Jack?"

"It'd be so easy just to let myself fall for him, but I don't want to hurt him…"

"Then let yourself. Jack, we're all afraid of hurting those we love."

"I can't..." Jack looked away, out of the window.

"Why?"

"Because the last person I loved now hates me."

"Jack, what happened with Lois wasn't your fault; and did you love her?"

Jack shrugged. "I could have… No, I did love her. She was the sister I never had."

"That's slightly different to the way you feel about Ianto. I doubt you'd have done the stuff you do with Ianto with Grey."

Jack chuckled. "No, I can't say I would have done."

"I hope not!"

Jack laughed at the look of indignation on his father's face. "Tad!" he laughed.

"You really need to pick a language Jack."

Jack grinned. "I like being able to use the different words."

"Yes, but I don't know sometimes..." He held up his right hand. "Is my son gonna be Spanish?" He held up his left hand. "Is he gonna be American?" Then he raised his eyebrows. "…Or is he gonna be Welsh?!"

Jack laughed. "You taught Grey and I the Welsh."

"Because I grew up in Cardiff."

"Newport, Dad."

"They're near enough to each other. But anyway; Ianto!"

Jack sighed. "I don't want him to hate me."

"He won't. Lois was an exception; she was bitter and homophobic Jack."

"Still, if I hadn't told her I was gay, she wouldn't have stormed out, and she wouldn't have been mugged."

"Did you kick her out Jack?"

"NO!" Jack cried out.

"The how is it your fault?"

"Well...I..." Jack stumbled over his words.

"She'll be the one that regrets it Jack."

Jack sighed. "I want to love Ianto."

"Then love him."

"Is it that easy?"

Franklin smiled. "The only person you need to forgive you is yourself. That's all that's stopping you. I don't blame you; I never have and I never will. Go in bulletproof if you have to. I love you, I always will, and I am so proud of you. Let yourself fall in love Jack. Embrace it, don't push it away; because if you do, it'll be something you come to regret."

Jack looked at his dad and smiled slightly. "I can try."

"Don't try, do it; because none of it is your fault."

Jack nodded and stood up, moving over to his dad before throwing his arms around him. Franklin held Jack to him and rested his cheek on top of Jack's head, letting the tears fall. It hurt him to think that Jack was punishing himself this way. "Promise me Jack, I need to know, will you?"

Jack pulled back and looked into his dad's eyes. "I already love him; I just needed to admit it to myself and you made me do that."

Franklin smiled and kissed Jack's forehead. "You are one amazing person Jack Harkness."

Jack smiled. "And you, Dad. Enilla Tad i mewn 'r byd."

Franklin smiled. "I love you kid."

"I love you too Dad."

Franklin pulled Jack to him and smiled. "Go; you have a show to do."

Jack laughed. "Yes, yes I do." Hugging his father one more time, Jack stood to leave. "Oh and Dad..."

Franklin raised his eyebrows. "Yeah son?"

"Thank you."

Sitting in his dressing room half an hour later, Jack skimmed through the internet website for Cardiff's New Theatre. Pulling out his mobile phone he checked the time. "4pm," he murmured. "He should be finished." Pressing a few buttons he called up the number he was looking for and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Afternoon Mr Jones."

"Jack!" Ianto laughed.

"How are you?" Jack smiled into the phone.

"Oh you know, better after hearing from you."

"I get the feeling you're a closet sap Mr Jones."

"You wouldn't have me any other way."

"No," Jack smiled into the mouthpiece. "I wouldn't."

"Good. Are you okay Cariad?"

"Yeah... Hey, do you like pantomimes?"

"Love them; not been to one since I was a child. Why?"

"Cardiff New Theatre has one on from December to January. Want to go?"

"Okay...What is it?"

"Robin Hood."

"Sounds like a plan. When are you coming up?" Ianto asked.

"For you?" Jack smirked. "I'll come up whenever you ask me to."

Ianto snorted into the phone. "Only you Cariad."

"My dad's going to stay with Estelle over Christmas, so I'll be in Cardiff from November 23rd."

"Okay. You're welcome to stay with me."

"Sure," Jack grinned. "I miss you too."

Ianto laughed. "Go and perform! I'll speak to you soon." Jack could tell Ianto was blushing from the tone of his voice.

"Sure thing, Sport." Jack smiled

"Hmm, not sure I like Sport as a term of endearment, Sexy, is good, if unimaginative, but Sport...no thanks, you'll have to think of something else."

"Oh alright then, Tiger Pants." Jack laughed and hung up the phone before pulling the computer towards him and booking two tickets for Christmas Eve.