A Mad Wonderful World
Chapter Six Lowell Lowered
A week had passed since Margaret's arrival in Underland, and she was having a most enjoyable time. She was thoroughly enjoying being courted by Corporal Blanchard, and had also nicely integrated herself at Court. Mirana had asked her in depth questions about her interests and skills. Margaret had blushed, and told her that she had some skill with cooking. Mirana had offered to let her learn to cook Underland food. "However, I will not expect you to become a cook. I already have plenty of those. I just think you would enjoy the experience. Just be sure to duck if you see Thackery with anything in his paw."
Margaret had been taken to the kitchens and introduced to Thackery, the March Hare. He had been quite polite to her, and more than willing to teach her the nuances of Underland cooking. She had to duck quite frequently, but didn't mind -she had a wonderful time in the relaxed atmosphere of the kitchen.
She had finally worked up the courage to tell Thomas the truth about her life in Overland. She asked him to meet her in the Main Hall. As she waited, she paced up and down nervously. He entered, and came straight to her, hugging her gently. "Meggie, what is the matter?"
She took a breath. "Thomas, I need to tell you something, and I want you to listen. After I am finished, you may leave if you wish. I lied to you. I am married in Overland. However, I despise my husband, and since I have arrived here you have done so much to make me forget him. I gave you my maiden name when we first met. I wanted to purge my husband from my mind entirely. But I cannot stand the fact that I lied to you. Can you ever forgive me?"
Blanchard smiled, and then gently lifted her chin to gaze into her eyes. "Fully, Meggie." He gently kissed her, and Margaret sighed in happiness and melted into him. Lowell's kisses had been chaste and cold, she remembered. Thomas's kisses were gentle, yet amazingly passionate. She wrapped her arms around him, deepening the kiss, and heard the sound of delighted laughter. She turned, glaring in mock anger at Alannah. "Might I help you?"
Alannah grinned, shaking her head. "You don't look as though you need any help. I'm so happy for you, Meggie. Thomas, you take care of her or you'll be facing the wrath of four very mad people."
Blanchard saluted. "Aye, My Lady. I shall, and if Meggie's husband tries to take her away from me I shall challenge him to a duel."
Alannah laughed. "That might not be necessary, but I'm sure Meggie appreciates the rather chivalrous gesture. But we do have something planned just in case Lowell does show his cowardly face around here." Margaret looked at her, interested, and Alannah smiled mysteriously. "However, it is a complete secret."
Margaret pouted. "I thought it was impossible to keep secrets here."
Alannah only smirked. "Sometimes."
Meanwhile, in London, a certain Lowell Manchester was beginning to get very angry. His wife had been gone for three days, and none of her friends had seen her or knew where she was. He had considered calling the police, but realized that the scandal would surely come back to haunt him, and he cared more about his standing than he did finding his wife. Then he had found the envelope on his office desk. Curious, he had opened it, and nearly fainted in shock and terror. His own savings were almost depleted, and he had planned on asking Margaret for a loan. But now…he angrily crumpled the letter and threw it into the fireplace, then went running to hail a cab. "To the First Bank!"
When the cab arrived, he practically shot out of it and ran in a mad panic into the bank, skidding to a halt in front of the manager's desk. "I demand access to my wife's account! It is an emergency."
The manager nodded. "Mr. Manchester, do calm down. I am sorry to inform you that your wife is no longer a patron of ours."
Lowell went pale. "What?' he whispered in a strangled voice.
The manager pulled out a ledger, and flipped through it. "We received a letter two days ago asking to transfer all her money to an overseas bank. We sent a wire the very next hour."
Lowell clenched his fists, and tried to speak calmly. "Which bank was it?"
The manager frowned. "We are not allowed to divulge that information. Bank policy. I am sorry, Mr. Manchester."
Lowell struggled to remain calm. "Thank you. I am sorry to have inconvenienced you. Good Day." He walked out of the bank, and climbed into the waiting cab, blood boiling in rage. He was determined to find Margaret and punish her for the humiliation she was causing him. He knew there was only one place she could have gone-that strange place Alice had been going on about. He gave the driver directions to the Ascot Estate, and sat back smiling evilly. He would find Margaret and bring her home-by force if necessary.
When he reached the Hole, he paused for a moment before jumping in. He shut his eyes as he plunged downward, and felt the wind whistling through his ears. He landed in the Hall of Doors, then stood and brushed himself off. He thought back to the stories Alice had told, and walked over to the glass table, pocketing the key. He uncorked the small bottle, and took a sip, shuddering at the awful taste. Once he finished shrinking, he walked under the table and grabbed a bit of the cake that lay on the ground before going to the curtain that hid the Door. He unlocked it, and entered Underland, then ate the cake and grew to his right size.
'What an awful place.' He thought, gazing around. 'Why, it's quite headache inducing.'
Any Underlander standing nearby would have looked at him as though he was crazy. The land was a riot of colors, and flowers grew in great profusion everywhere. It was, in point of fact, quite beautiful. But Lowell had a disgusted look on his face as he started off down the path, determined to find his wayward wife.
It was Chessur who spotted him first as he blundered through the Tulgey Wood, cursing as tree branches snagged on his clothes. Chessur grinned, recognizing him, and decided to have a bit of fun.
Lowell was untangling himself from yet another tree branch when he heard a low purring sound that seemed to come from all around him. He looked around frantically, but the only thing he saw was more trees. The purring grew louder, and Lowell shivered. "Who's there?"
Chessur chuckled. "There's no one here but me."
Lowell trembled at the voice that had come from thin air. "Who are you?"
Chessur formed his grin, and Lowell gave a small shriek at the sharp teeth. Then Chessur began to sing, his voice echoing and re echoing throughout the Tulgey Wood. Lowell ran, pursued by the mocking voice of the Cheshire Cat.
"My head begins to jingle
Most ev'ry time I nod
obviously, quite obviously I'm odd
Each Christmas I go fishing
to catch a Christmas cod
cause obviously, quite obviously, I'm odd
When I was just a kitten,
they'd said I'd be a gem
But now that I'm a Cheshire Cat
It's odd how odd I am
I own a feather pillow
but I slumber on the sod
cause obviously, quite obviously I'm odd
When I was just a kitten,
They'd said I'd be a gem
But now that I'm a Cheshire Cat
It's odd how odd I am
Most cat's have handsome whiskers
But me, I've got a beard
Cause obviously, quite obviously I'm weird!"
Lowell had finally made it out of the Wood. He stood on the path, panting in exertion and terror, and heard crazed laughter coming from behind him. He screamed and ran.
Chessur solidified on a branch, and grinned madly as he watched the Overlander run down the path and straight for Marmoreal. He vanished, and appeared in the throne room. "Majesty, I thought perhaps you would like to know that Lowell Manchester is arriving soon."
Mirana grinned wickedly. "Excellent. I shall inform Alannah and Margaret."
Lowell stamped his foot in anger at the Castle Guards. "I demand to see whoever is in charge! I have come to bring my wife back from this horrible place! So you had better let me in right this moment!"
"Manchester, calm down." Alannah came out of the palace, and glared in exasperation at him. "You just can't come and take Meggie away. She's quite happy here, and she wishes to have nothing at all to do with you. It is my advice that you accept that fact. There's a transport potion waiting to send you back to Overland."
Lowell sputtered in rage. "How dare you! I will not leave this place without Margaret! Who do you think you are, keeping my wife from me? I demand to see her immediately!" He shoved past Alannah, and began calling. "Margaret! Get out here right this moment! I order you!"
"I am not going anywhere with you, Lowell!" Margaret came walking out of a nearby room, and glared at him. "As far as I am concerned, I am no longer your wife. You have betrayed my trust one too many times. Please, let me be and go back home. I would be miserable back in London. I am happy here. Please, let me alone to live my life."
Lowell glared at her. "Margaret, I don't know what sort of spell these mad creatures have put you under, but I am not going to stand by and allow you to throw away your life! Have you no thought for me? Think of what I will have to go through, the scandals that I will be facing."
Margaret laughed bitterly. "I have no thought for you? Oh, that is amusing. I have no thought for you! Have you any for me? Did you ever think of me when you bedded all those women? Did you ever think of me when you spent your last shilling at the races? Did you ever think of me when you conducted your affairs in your office, and caused me to catch you in the act? Did you ever once consider my feelings, or were you more interested in the whores and horses?" She glared at her dumfounded husband. "I see. Well, you should be allowed to go back to them. Goodbye, Lowell."
Lowell strode forward and grabbed her arm roughly. "You are coming with me whether you like it or not! Do you understand me?"
"Take yer 'ands off 'er."
Lowell turned, and glared at a very angry Tarrant Hightopp. His eyes were orange, and he stared at Lowell with a glare that could have split a stone. Alannah was standing nearby, a mad grin of eager anticipation on her face. If there was one thing Tarrant could not stand, it was seeing a woman hurt. And if the woman was someone he cared about, then all hell would break loose. He advanced on Lowell, and spoke in a deadly soft voice. "I said tae take yer 'ands off her, Manchester."
Lowell looked down his nose at Tarrant. "Just who do you think you are? I shall handle my wife however I please. You have no say in the matter." He blanched as Tarrant grinned evilly.
"I ken that ye aren't going to be persuaded by mere words. Verra well." He grabbed Lowell and yanked him away from Margaret, and then frog marched him towards where Alannah stood. "Something about this seems verra familiar."
Alannah laughed. "It does."
Tarrant turned to Lowell. "Don't try squirming out of me grasp. I want to tell ye something, and I want to make sure you hear all of it. Ye are a worthless piece of slurking urpal slackush scrum. Ye had a wonderful wife in Meggie and instead ye chose to be a cad and break her heart over and over again. Ye had the chance tae redeem yerself three years ago when ye were given the Veritas Tea, and instead ye chose to continue behaving like the bastard ye are. You are not worthy of being any woman's husband. In fact, ye aren't even worth being considered a man anymore. What ye are is a rat, and that is all ye ever will be. So rat, go home and crawl in the sewers!"
He spun Lowell around so he was facing Alannah, and forced his mouth open. Alannah stepped forward, a small blue vial in her hand, and poured the contents down his throat. She stepped back and stared grimly at Tarrant. "Let him go. It should take affect pretty quickly. I made it very potent."
Tarrant released him, and Lowell fell to the floor, convulsing. Margaret came forward and watched in shock as he began to change.
He shrank, and his arms and legs contracted. His hands grew tiny, became paws, and his black hair began to cover his entire body, turning into fur. His nose grew long, and his eyes became beady. Finally, a long tail appeared, and where there had once been a handsome man was a large black rat.
Tarrant picked the rat up, and looked over at Alannah. "Good job. Now, Mr. Rat, let's see about getting you home." He carried the rat outside, and Margaret took a breath, and then burst into delighted laughter.
"He was always a rat! Oh, Alannah! I can stay!" She whooped and hugged Alannah in joy. She could stay!
And in the kitchen, a gleeful Tarrant Hightopp forced transport potion down the throat of the rat that had once been Lowell Manchester.
Author's Note-"I'm Odd" was originally supposed to be in the 1951 movie, but it was taken out. There's a video on You tube of the Cat singing it, and it's perfect for him. Also, there's one more chapter to go.