I didn't turn around, instead going strait up the stairs as quietly and quickly as I could. In truth, I didn't trust myself to speak again; I didn't want to wound Jacob any more now than I had when I'd first arrived—if it were possible, I wanted to even less, now that so much had passed between us. Remembering the days right after he first learned he was a wolf brought tears to my eyes while I dug through my closet. I didn't want to replay any of those vicious scenes so many years later, with so much more at stake.
I scribbled an awkward note to Charlie; it was midnight, and I knew he wouldn't get it for many more hours, but it still frightened me to leave him. The fear was two fold, even though I shrugged off the conventional shudders of a daughter leaving home late at night. I was an adult, and if I explained that I was going to La Push I didn't need to elaborate. He'd rather I didn't anyway. When I'd dragged myself in to some clean clothes, I placed the note on the kitchen table and went out the front door to find Edward standing there. The adolescent in his build struck me, the porch light setting off an array of dimmed rainbows on his skin. Our eyes locked. We sighed simultaneously, and then laughed.
He looked down at his feet; it was a strangely youthful thing for him to do, and I wasn't used to it. When he looked at me again, the curiosity on his face was fit to burst. In fact, had he been able, a blush might have graced the luminous edge of his diamond hard cheeks. Instead he merely looked at me.
"What is it, Edward?" I didn't know whether or not he was about to chasten me for being physical with Jacob, but I assumed now that we were alone it would be best to clear the air before the meeting. I protectively wrapped my arms around my body and tried to focus on the anger that had buoyed me through the previous conversation, dismissing my momentary reprieve as I'd taken in his angelic beauty.
"You are so unlike who you were, Bella," he whispered. A long moment passed before I recognized the undertone of his gaze…it was awe. Edward was looking at me with awe. "I hadn't fully realized before how much you've changed."
"Was this a test, Edward?" My brow wrinkled as I drew closer to him, trying to decipher the myriad of expressions rushing across his face. "Were you checking to see whether or not…" I trailed off, not sure how to complete the thought. He looked at me wearily, and then gazed out at the yard.
"Not a test, Bella, no. I did not come here expecting open arms—perhaps, of course, I hoped," and here he turned towards me and I saw the familiar brightness of his smile. "But no. When I knew what was happening I became….afraid, Bella, as I am want to do…and I over-reacted a bit." His expression was suddenly hardened. "I would have been more careful, of course, if I'd realized the…depth…of the bond between yourself and Jacob Black." He refused to look at me again, staring instead at the tree line where the conflict between them had begun several nights ago.
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't use that tone with me, Edward," I said evenly. He still did not turn to look at me, but I noticed his lip quiver almost imperceptibly.
"Perhaps you misinterpret my tone," he said softly. "He doesn't think in words, most of the time, Bella…It's almost impossible to interpret what comes through his mind. Let us suffice it to say that what I cannot hear, I see. And I am not so much a saint that it doesn't make me sick with jealousy." His eyes were still locked on the dark, and then a strangely sad smirk appeared. "Perhaps you thought I judged you? Old fashioned as I am?" His cocked eyebrow greeted me when he finally turned his head, and the bitterness in his face was overwhelming. "No. I am not so great a man as that. I am merely a jealous ex-boyfriend, wishing for a fraction of the wealth another man possesses."
I looked at him carefully. It wasn't what I expected, and truthfully, were I not so angry I would be both humiliated and saddened by the circumstances; any image of my intimate moments with Jacob playing out in front of Edward was torturous for us both. But the word he'd used triggered my earlier feelings, even if I now realized some of my reaction was unwarranted.
"He doesn't possess me, Edward. He's not a damn demon. And I'm not a some cheap, scratch-off lottery ticket." My nostrils flared. Edward laughed, a bright lilting sound, and as we both realized--too late--how loud it was, we rushed off of the porch. I noticed he was still staring at me as he opened the door to the car, but it took me a minute to recognize that he wasn't still smiling. A weak imitation of the previous grin met me as he took his seat and turned the key, the ignition eerily silent compared to my truck's belligerent roar.
"You are not the girl I loved, Bella. But you should know…you eclipse her in every way." His eyes once again turned towards the road. "And no matter what Jacob Black may think—or even what you may think—you will always be my love…even if time reveals more and more how ill matched we are." We rode in silence until the Volvo—still shiny, still silver, but a new and unfamiliar model--slowed to a stop in front of Emily's restaurant. I knew what Edward said was true, but in particular I was grateful for the subtle acknowledgement of the fact that we did not belong together. I couldn't regress in to a girl that swooned. I still blushed but I wouldn't be lead any longer. If Edward knew it, then Jacob had to as well.
The restaurant was dark, and without the supernatural night vision of my companion, I knew I would have been sprawled on the floor and nursing bruises in seconds. There were no lights on, but somehow I knew that the pack was already present, and then a startling shimmer moved towards me from the shadows.
"What took you so long?" Alice's voice wasn't as chipper as I'd hoped. Being alone among the wolves must have been hard for her. Her cool hands twisted into mine and I let myself be lead through the obstacle course of the main dining room back to the small room. Whispers crept towards me from the darkness.
"Hey-hey-hey vampire girl," Quil's raucous voice bellowed from the corner, and suddenly the whispers hushed. The gentle sound of a switch being flipped gave me just a seconds preparation before I was blinded and simultaneously overwhelmed by a dozen more catcalls and disgruntled shouts.
"Jeez, Paul, a warning would be nice!" Embry shielded his eyes and scowled fiercely at the hulking frame standing alarmingly close to me. For a minute Paul didn't look at me; I knew that he'd turned on the light to annoy everyone and could've cared less about my lack of night vision. He shot me a sly grin just as his hand flew up and caught the plate sailing at his head from across the room. Quil swore loudly and several of the smaller boys laughed. A cool hand slid around me and yanked me down just as another plate shattered over my head. Suddenly the air seemed full of napkins, knives and forks. Edward and Alice hovered protectively over me and then everything stopped—everything but the wicked growls ripping through the air like a cold wind.
Jacob arrived with Leah, and the pair of them made a formidable two person army. Leah's shrill voice sliced across the room, and every single one of the huge men in her pack dropped their heads simultaneously. "Human present, geniuses!" She ripped a plate out of the hands of one of the smallest wolves and he whimpered and slunk away. Seconds behind them, Sam's body filled the door, and the hush became funereal. I was suddenly aware of Jacob's heat behind me, as if by magic. Edward surrepticiously appeared by Alice's other shoulder. I was flanked by supernatural angels.
"Sorry Bella." Quil looked at me anxiously from the corner of his eye. I grinned and saw Edward roll his eyes.
"No harm, no foul," I said. In truth, it wasn't the first time I'd been in a restaurant after hours—I'd seen cutlery fly before, if not with the same intensity and precision. I thought to myself that if I'd been in any real danger Edward would have just physically removed me, and then realized with Jacob around that probably wasn't the wisest option.
Sam sat down and suddenly everyone else was sitting except for myself and the two vampires. I leaned against the wall and felt Jacob move further back, out of my way. I knew the war council had begun, and a wistful part of me wished that we could return to the joviality of a moment ago. A part of me shivered as I registered Jacob's heat close to my left side, and I closed my eyes and dreamed of being somewhere else, in some other time, entirely. Reality tore in to me as I heard Edward's slippery, musical voice fill the room with the horrible news he'd told Jacob and I so recently.