A/N- This chapter seriously kicked my ass. I abandoned it for two weeks before deciding that I couldn't just ignore it. I have so many people to thank for this chapter. All of the girls on Twitter and the Muselets for offering to look it over and give me feedback. Of course, none of them flat out offered to write it for me. Sheesh, what friends y'all are. Just kidding. But in all honesty, my awesome beta Katydid2363 cornered my ass on gchat, while at work, and talked me out of tossing it into the garbage bin. That's where it was headed. So thank you a million times over for helping me dissect things to get all the dialogue that was making me crazy, out of my head and onto paper. My pre-reading team, Fngrcufs, Dinx, & Angstaddict09, thank you for providing helpful feedback as well.
Stephanie Meyer owns these crazy kids, I just throw them into the deep south.
Chapter 6
My fingernails are bitten til
There's nothing left but skin
I'd rather be anyone else right now
The light that shown within my eyes
Is slowly growing dim
She told me where told me when
But never said how
-Take Me Back to New Orleans, Cowboy Mouth
EPOV
The week that had passed since Bella and I had sung at the club was mindless at best. I couldn't keep my mind off of her and the fact that I wanted to shove her body against the wall of her apartment and show her just how comfortable her clothing choices had made me. Added on top of that the way our voices snaked together and my emotions were all over the place.
I had given in to everything I tried to keep at bay the night I told her she was beautiful. And not just beautiful but the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. It wasn't a lie. If anything it was the most honest thing I think I had ever said to a woman. She was amazing in every sense of the word.
I felt like a high school geek handing her over a mixed CD. After I had left her apartment earlier in the day, surprised at her lack of wardrobe, I went home and showered, releasing all the pent up frustration that had subsided while I had been in her presence. She got me though. She knew, with all her moves, what she was doing. I craved that fact. Knowing she knew good and well how she affected me made me want to show her in every conceivable way just how much I did want her.
I couldn't though. Well, I could have but I was a better guy than that. I was honorable but I felt like the worst kind of person there was for even thinking the things I thought about her when Lauren lay next to me in bed every night. I'd look at Lauren and I'd no longer see the woman I had grown to care for. All I would see would be big, brown eyes and long flowy brown hair staring back at me. I wanted Bella next to me. I wanted to wake up with her in my arms. I wanted to make sweet, sweet music with her. On the stage and in the bedroom. But for now, I couldn't. I wasn't sure when I would be able to but I knew that I had to make it happen.
The thing that kept nagging at me and made me want to lose all control was this 'handy man' she referred to Sunday night at rehearsal. I had a feeling that when she commented on how good he was with his hands that she just didn't mean with a socket wrench or a hammer. I'm sure he was hammering away at Bella's tiny frame. That in itself made me want to go ballistic. Again, I had to chastise myself for even entertaining the thought of jealousy but I did. I was jealous of this man and all she did was mention him.
I extended the invitation to my parents' house on Sunday for lunch and rehearsal with the band. I was hoping that in that time Bella and I could show off our newly acquired dueting skills. I wanted everyone to see just how amazing we sounded together. The more I thought about it though, the more I wanted to keep those moments to myself. I felt like a selfish dick when I considered it but I wanted her voice to be mine. She called to me. She sang to me. Even I knew that the sounds we made together were too beautiful to keep behind closed doors. I'd save those sounds for if I finally did have her in bed with me.
I spent Thursday with Lauren feeling neglectful of my boyfriend duties. We went to Baton Rouge and shopped. We ate. We socialized with human civilization. I was there in body but not in mind. My mind was in New Orleans surrounded by the lustful voice of Bella Swan.
Lauren came to me Friday morning with news just as I had hung up the phone with Tyler. It seemed as if the Opera was calling the orchestra and the performers back early in hopes that we would be available to work an event for a retiring conductor. I couldn't tell them no. It was my job. I just wasn't sure how I was going to be able to leave New Orleans. Not after I was starting to feel like Edward Cullen again and not Edward Masen.
"Edward, we'll need to leave on Sunday," Lauren said, Friday over lunch. I looked at her and dropped my fork on the plate.
"Lauren, my parents are having everyone over on Sunday."
"I don't make the rules, Edward. We have to be ready for Monday."
I rubbed my temples and sighed. I could feel a migraine coming on. "Tyler didn't mention what time on Monday. I assumed I'd have time to fly out early and make it back by lunch."
Shoving another piece of lettuce in her mouth, Lauren began chewing. I watched her mouth as it worked the piece of lettuce over. Any other time my mind would have conjured up images of things she could do with that mouth of hers and it wouldn't have been the operatic notes she could hit. Now it did nothing for me.
"We have to be there at nine. They are having a breakfast that morning for the honoree," she said after she had swallowed.
"This is just perfect," I mumbled.
"You didn't plan to stay here the whole time did you? Our lives are in New York Edward."
"I realize that Lauren." I didn't want to elaborate any further. I didn't want to tell her how I had felt like I was finding myself. Accepting and owning the fact that I was a Cullen.
"It'll be fine. I'm sure they are not going to need you every week for band practice. They'll be able to make it without you."
We finished our lunch and the migraine I had felt coming on earlier was in full force now. When we arrived back at the house my parents were out talking to the neighbors. I politely waved but walked inside wanting to avoid contact with as many people as possible. It was only minutes later when my father emerged in the house and found me in the kitchen. My head was down, resting on the cool granite countertop.
"You look a little piqued son. What gives?" my dad asked, pouring himself a glass of ice water.
"I just got news that we have to be back in New York on Sunday." I explained the reason for us having to return and he remained silent for the most part.
After I finished my father looked me over, no doubt able to see that I was not pleased with the outcome of these events. "We'll just have everyone over on Saturday afternoon instead. It should be fine."
"What about the rehearsal though? Saturday is a big night at the club. I don't see where we can move that to Saturday also."
My dad laughed and walked over to me. "Edward, two weeks ago you didn't want to consider coming down here and now you're having trouble leaving? This is more about just seeing your beloved city the way she is and the benefit isn't it?"
He was right but I didn't want him to know just how spot on in that statement he really was. I turned to look at him and he smiled. My expression told him everything without me having to say it out loud.
"Edward, your secret is safe with me. But can I offer a bit of advice to you?"
I held me tongue afraid that if I spoke it would confirm the growing feelings I had towards Bella.
"You don't need to prolong this. I'm not going to stay on you to return, you can make that decision when you can. I understand that you make your living in New York but is what your living for there? Think about that and come home when you're ready. No pressure. You know the songs just as well as anyone. I'm sure you won't be missed on Sundays, by many," he said under his breath with a crooked grin. "You are a responsible adult. I expect to see you in time for the benefit and well, if you can make it home before then, we'll all be happy to have you back."
"Thanks Dad. For everything," I said, meaning not just for the talk but for not going into detail about my real reason for being so reluctant to want to return to New York.
"Anytime Edward. I guess we have some phone calls to make."
I nodded in agreement. Lauren came into the kitchen, passing my father as he left. I turned on the stool I was sitting in and smiled at her. "The cookout has been moved to Saturday. I guess I'll go book our flights."
"Edward why do you sound so apprehensive about leaving?" she asked, standing in front of me, trying to ease her way in-between my legs.
"I'm not," I said lying. "I've just enjoyed my time here, that's all."
She scooted her body closer and threw her arms around my neck. "I'm sure I can help you ease any frustrations you might have. Why don't you and I go upstairs."
I smiled but it wasn't genuine. "That sounds inviting but I'm going to pass. I have a migraine. I'm sorry doll."
She sighed as she ran her fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes at the feeling, picturing Bella doing this to me. She leaned over, her mouth touching my ear. "If you change your mind let me know."
"Yeah, sure. Listen, I've got to call the club and let them know about the change of plans. Why don't you start looking online at flights? Find an early one and book it with my credit card."
Lauren left, appeased for the most part. I picked up my cell and called the club. Charlie answered.
"Tizzy's."
"Charlie? This is Edward."
"Edward, say what's new? Bella tells me we are partying at the Doc's house on Sunday."
"Yes sir that was the plan but something has come up and we'd like to move it to Saturday. Will that be a problem for y'all?"
"Shouldn't be. Of course, we can't stay all night. What time on Saturday?"
I gave him the rest of the details and he told me that he would pass it on to everyone else. My thoughts drifted to leaving New Orleans. I felt like I had hardly done anything to help the city out. Sure I had only been in town for two short weeks and people were slowly coming back home but I felt like in these two weeks that I should have done more. I should have made myself more available. Maybe when I returned I would rectify that.
~xxx~
Saturday came quickly, too quickly for my liking. That meant it was my last day in the city. Lauren was upstairs getting herself ready for the day when I made my way downstairs. My mom and Alice were in the kitchen plating various foods and my father was in the back yard setting up tables and chairs. I walked up behind my mom and slid my arms around her waist and kissed her gently on the cheek.
"Smells good, mom. Anything I can help with?" I asked being polite. I knew she'd tell me no.
"Thank you but no, there is nothing in here for you. Your dad might need some help outside though."
"Okay, I'll go out there then." I released the hold on my mother and walked behind Alice, roughing up her hair. She playfully swatted at my hand as I tried my best to maneuver out the door. Before I got too far my mother's voice called out to me.
"Edward," she said softly. I turned to find her staring at me, tears filling her eyes.
"Mom? What's wrong?"
"It's nothing really. Your father told me that you are leaving in the morning. Please don't stay gone so long next time. It's been nice having everyone home."
I walked back in the kitchen and hugged my mother tightly. "I promise Mom," I whispered in her ear. She patted my back without another word as I walked out to join my father.
He had chairs and tables set up along the length of the backyard. It was too late in the year for a crawfish boil so my mother and sister decided that instead with the weather getting cooler (not by much) that we'd serve gumbo.
"You got it all covered Dad?" I asked just as he sat down next to the large gumbo pot, a cold beer in his hands.
"I think so," he said, throwing his head back and relaxing.
We sat silent for a moment, neither of us knowing what to say. I hated to leave and I knew, after having me home and playing with me on the stage, that he hated to see me go. I would return though. I had to and not just for the benefit or for the city. If anything, I had to return to see Bella again. What would become of us? At the very least I wanted to be friends but that was the very least I wanted. I wasn't sure how I was going to go about getting more from her but I knew that if I returned home, I'd want to find out.
It must have been several minutes that passed by in silence because the next thing I knew the backyard was slowly filling up with people. Jasper had arrived, looking worse for wear. I needed to find out this guy's story. Alice was my baby sister and sometimes I questioned her judgement of others.
Emmett and Rosalie weren't far behind him. I laughed when I saw Emmett approaching, dragging an ice chest in his wake. In the short time I had been around Emmett I would easily say that he was the poster child for a typical south Louisiana man. I couldn't wait to engage him in a little sports talk. He seemed like the type that got really riled up at games.
I stood from my chair the same time as my father. I was walking towards Emmett when I saw her come up from behind him. I was nearly knocked backwards from the sight of her. Her hair was down and hanging loosely on her shoulders. She was wearing a pair of flats with a simple navy cotton dress. She looked stunning. I smiled and was ecstatic that she returned the favor. I had been hoping that my behavior the last time I had seen her wouldn't cause a rift in our new found truce. I had been seconds away from kissing her then but I had stopped myself. Not now, I told her. Not now while I had a girlfriend.
She dropped her head and followed behind Emmett and Rosalie, her father now trailing behind her, as I made my way closer.
"Hey," I said sounding a little out of breath.
"Hey," she replied back. "Your parents have an amazing house. It must have been something growing up here."
I shrugged. I had never really given it any kind of thought. "I suppose. You look nice, Bella."
She blushed and bent her head as a stray piece of hair dropped, covering her face. I wanted to reach out and tuck it behind her ear but I thought better of it. "Thank you," she politely said.
I ushered her over to the chairs that my dad had set up and Emmett handed her a beer from his ice chest. My mom was out minutes later, fussing over everyone like my mother did. Lauren came outside to join everyone and if I had been the kind of boyfriend that I was before I came home and Bella Swan entered my life, I'm sure what happened next would have never gone the way it did.
She walked down the back steps towards everyone dressed in a pink Lacoste polo and a pair of blue jeans. So far, she seemed dressed for the event. That was until we all took in what she had on her feet. I was merely joking with her when I told her to pack her shrimp boots before we left New York. But here, in my parents back yard, Lauren had on in fact, a pair of white shrimp boots, her jeans tucked into the shoes.
I couldn't stop the laughter from everyone behind me once they took in her whole outfit. I mean I'm only one person and can only give so many menacing looks before I'm taken seriously. Had it not been for the comment Jasper made things might not have been so bad.
"Ooh wee girl! Look at you marching down here in those Grand Isle Reeboks. Now that's what I call style!" He hooped and hollered, while he held my sister tight. Alice on the other hand, had her head buried in his chest, no doubt so we couldn't see her dying from laughter.
I turned to face the rest of our guests only to see that they wore similar looks of amusement on their faces. My mom and dad were towards the back of the yard, closest to the gumbo pot, along with Charlie. As much as they tried to show that they didn't find the scene funny, they still had a glimmer of joy in their eyes.
"Edward, you didn't tell me we were going to have to catch our shrimp before we ate them," Emmett yelled. "Hell, had I known that I would have dressed a little more properly." He continued to smile as he took a long pull off of his beer.
I turned back to Lauren and saw just a glimpse of her pink shirt fade into the house. As soon as she was out of sight the entire back yard erupted in a fit of laughter. I knew in that moment I should have gone after her but as soon as I felt the electricity from one single touch on my shoulder, all thoughts of helping Lauren went out the window.
"Edward," she asked, hiding her laughter although just from how she said my name I knew she was smiling. "Were those shrimp boots she was wearing?"
I nodded and turned to face Bella. She was trying her hardest not to find the humor in all of this. To be honest, so was I but I was realizing that to be difficult. "You need to go to her. I'm sure she's pretty embarrassed right now."
The voice of reason was coming from the one voice I wanted to hear pant my name over and over. I nodded again and set off inside the house. Lauren had shut herself in the bathroom. I made several attempts to coax her out. Instead, she insisted on yelling at me through the door.
"That…that hoodlum out there told me I had Reeboks on Edward. REEBOKS!" she screamed from the other side of the door. I was willing to bet that it wasn't the fact that she had stepped outside in a pair of shrimp boots that bothered her but Jasper's remark on them being Grand Isle Reeboks. I knew those were a pair of shoes you would never find in Lauren's closet.
"Lo, it's just a name the locals use to call them. It's nothing really." I tried to reassure her.
"Nothing?" she asked, huffing. "I have been insulted by the lowest form of trash here and you're telling me it's nothing?"
It took me twenty minutes but I finally convinced her to come back outside. When she emerged from the bathroom, the shrimp boots were no longer on her feet but instead a pair of pink flats that matched her shirt. As we made our way downstairs, she began speaking about our return home, or to New York.
"Since we're taking the red eye home, I figured we might want to get out of her by nine or so. I still have to pack a few things up and you, Edward, you haven't even begun to pack. You'll probably want to excuse yourself pretty early to be able to get everything done."
It took me a minute to process her words. I stopped and grabbed the back of her arm to stop her as well. "What did you say?"
She rolled her eyes. "I said that you haven't packed yet and might want to consider calling it an early night to do so."
"No, before then. What did you say before then?"
She frowned as she answered me. "Edward, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Lauren, when are we leaving?"
"At midnight," she stated without any kind of elaboration.
"Midnight tonight or midnight tomorrow?" I was beginning to get aggravated at her attempts to side step the direct question.
"Edward," she huffed, "there was a red eye leaving so I booked it for us. I figured it would give us plenty of time to get home and a good day's head start before we have to be at the breakfast and rehearsals on Monday."
"Lauren, I will ask you again. Midnight tonight? Or midnight tomorrow?" I was seething at this point. I knew what her answer was going to be.
"Tonight." That was all she said before she freed herself from my hold and marched outside like she wasn't fazed that this information clearly had me upset.
I looked down at my watch and saw that it was one in the afternoon. That didn't give us much time at all. If we were leaving at midnight, and Lauren was right…I still needed to pack. I would have to excuse myself from the party early.
I stepped outside, my face red with anger. I hardly recognized that Jasper was talking to me. Without processing a single word he said, I jumped his ass.
"What?" I half yelled, half seethed.
He held up his hands in defense. "Sorry cat. I was just trying to apologize for what I said to Lauren. Nevermind if you're going to be a dick about it."
"Jasper, I'm sorry." He stopped himself from walking away from me. "I was just dropped with a bombshell and I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it."
"Ah, brah did you get her knocked up?" He leaned over and whispered but the tone of his voice told me he found the idea appalling.
"No, oh God, no," I said shaking my head profusely. "She just informed me that we are leaving to go back to New York at midnight tonight."
"That sucks. Well, looks like you've got some beer to drink and some music to play then doesn't it?" He patted my back and quickly made his way back to my sister.
I looked around the crowd where I found Lauren sitting in a chair surrounded by Rosalie, Emmett and Bella. Bella looked like she'd rather be anywhere than in the presence of Lauren. Lauren on the other hand was talking a mile a minute. I decided that I needed to start my socializing in that area in case I needed to work damage control.
"Can I get anyone anything?" A series of no's and headshakes rounded the four of them.
"Edward," Lauren began, "did you tell everyone…" She was cut off midsentence by my father's over powering voice.
"Soups on. Come and get it," he yelled out to our crowd. The way that everyone moved you would have thought that there was a fire nearby. It was a mad dash to get to the gumbo pot.
I stayed in the back watching my family and newfound friends fix their plates. Lauren hung in the back with me, hesitant to join the masses and eat the food. Her cell phone began to ring and she excused herself to go inside and take the call.
I walked over and began fixing my own plate. My mother had really out done herself but then again, when did she not. Along with the gumbo that dad had been manning, mom had made a salad, french bread, and potato salad. I grabbed a bowl from the end of the line and watched as Emmett and Jasper both helped themselves to a heaping amount of potato salad, carefully dropping the contents into their bowl of gumbo. I had personally never understood how someone could eat potato salad in their gumbo too but to each, their own I guess.
The line dwindled down and by the time I reached the ice chest full of beer, it was only my mom and dad standing around the food.
"Edward," my mother called. "Where is Lauren?"
"Inside. She had to take a phone call."
"You look a little down son," my dad remarked. "Everything alright?"
I hesitated before I told them the news of Lauren and my return to New York tonight. My mother was obviously a little angry but mostly sad that we had to leave so soon. My father on the other hand didn't have to say anything. He and I had already spoken regarding the situation so I didn't need any other kind of clarification from him.
When my mother had finished going on and on about how I had just gotten home and how she really wished I'd been able to stay a little longer, I reassured her that I would be returning and not just for the benefit. I had decided, since I had already made the plunge and seen the devastation, that coming home would be a little easier from now on. Not to mention, Bella kind of helped ease my feelings towards that.
I looked across the yard and found her sitting at a table with the others, minus Charlie. A vacant seat was left open next to her and it seemed only right that I would be the one to fill it. When I reached the table I decided to tease her a little.
"You saving this seat for someone?" I asked, giving her my best smirk.
She nodded her head, unable to speak due to the food that was in her mouth. "Actually yes. If you see a tall, messy haired guy around here, not sure of who he really is but most likely has a platinum blonde with a thing for shrimp boots on his arm then send him my way. Of course, the blonde can stay behind."
She finished her statement with a wink so I smiled and exhaled loudly. "It would appear that I am the guy you are looking for then and," I began to look around, "it would appear that the blonde has indeed stayed behind."
Bella laughed and moved over on the bench just a hair. "Take a seat, Edward. Speaking of which, where is your other half? Notice I didn't say better half."
I laughed a genuine laugh and took the seat next to her. It was a small bench, just big enough for two people. Regardless of how many people it sat, our legs were touching. Whether it was voluntary or not, neither one of us moved them. "She's inside on the phone."
Bella was silent while everyone at our little table made small talk with one another. When I say small talk, I mean that loosely. Jasper and Alice were feeding one another food and Emmett had already gone back for his third trip. Rosalie was chastising him for being a pig. I bumped Bella's leg with my knee from under the table. Her head shot up and she looked at me with her big doe eyes. I was momentarily lost.
I cleared my head and brought myself back to the reason I had gained her attention. "What's wrong? You look like you're not having a good time."
"No, I'm having a great time actually. What about you?"
"For the most part, yes I'm having a good time."
"For the most part? What's that mean? What would make this a great time for you, Edward?" Her tone had taken on a playful seductive vibe.
I wanted to answer her honestly. I wanted to say that taking her upstairs or not having Lauren around would make this an excellent time but I didn't. Instead, I chose that moment to break my news.
"Um, well, we kind of have to head back to New York."
"Is that all? Edward, I'm pretty sure we all expected you to leave sooner or later."
My head snapped up. "What do you mean? You didn't think I'd stay?"
"Well, no. I mean, I guess I figured you'd hang around, on and off, until the benefit but you live in New York. That's where your job is right?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's still hard ya know? I guess I didn't expect to return and not want to leave."
"New Orleans is a hard city to leave behind. I'm surprised you did it the first time," she said with a playful nudge to my shoulder.
I turned to face her only wanting to shout that it was going to be so much harder to leave this time than I had ever considered. Her face twisted and she furrowed her brows. "What?"
"Nothing," I said. "It's nothing."
"So," Bella began again, "when are you leaving?"
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "Tonight at midnight."
"Oh."
We sat quietly for several minutes. I wasn't sure what to make of her silence. It unnerved me not to know. Realizing that we just couldn't sit here for the rest of the afternoon not speaking, I decided to be the first to break the tension.
"So, are you ready to jam out today?"
Bella sat still next to me. She fumbled with her hands, never looking up to meet my eyes. "I'm not so sure that's a good idea now. I mean," she said looking up, "you have to get ready to leave and it's Saturday night. The club's going to be packed tonight."
I nodded. I felt defeated. "Right. Well, maybe I can come down before the benefit. I mean, I only have to head back because of this retirement gig."
Bella laughed. I looked over at her not understanding what she found so funny. "I tell you what Edward. If you come back down this way before December, I'll buy your ass dinner. Anywhere you want for that matter."
Now that had its possibilities. I imagined Bella and I out and about in the city as a couple. Holding hands, stopping to toss money to some of the street performers. Maybe even me walking her to her door and conveniently following her inside where I would ravage her body senseless. I smiled at the prospect that this little arrangement could entail.
"Anywhere I want?" I questioned. She nodded. I held out my hand to seal the deal. "You've got yourself a date, Bella."
She took my hand and those damn sparks I had felt the first time that we shook hands came back. She looked me in the eyes, her smile suddenly dropping before she focused back on our intertwined hands. We shook on it and unclasped our hands. I may have held on a little longer than was necessary.
"Am I interrupting something?" Lauren asked. I jumped a little from my seat. I was so focused on the jolt of electricity that had passed between Bella and myself that I never heard or saw Lauren approach. Before I could get the words out, Bella answered for us.
"No, not at all sweetie. Actually, Edward and I were just proposing a little bet."
It was one thing for me to secretly start planning my return to the Big Easy, in which I would make sure that I traveled alone, but it was something else for Bella to alert Lauren of our impending plans.
"Really?" Lauren asked, her hands glued to her hips. "May I ask what this bet is about?"
I had opened my mouth to protest but Bella, again, beat me to the punch.
"Sure thing! I was just betting Edward here that I was pretty sure you knew that white was the trademark color for shrimp boots but he was adamant that you had no idea. I mean, he seems to think that if you could have found another color besides white you would have bought those."
We sat in silence after Bella finished her little spiel. I wasn't sure if I should have been pissed or not. On one hand, it was kind of funny that she had blatantly insulted Lauren. I'm pretty sure Lauren hadn't caught on that she was doing so. Given the expression on her face, I was willing to bet that she was really considering an honest answer here.
On the other hand, I should have really said something before things got heated. Women, from past experience, can tend to be pretty catty towards one another.
"Actually, I had no idea they only came in white. I would have preferred a different color but all I could find was white," Lauren replied, looking Bella square in the eye.
Bella slaps her hand on my back. I look at her and she has a smile stretched across her face. "Well, it would seem then that Edward has won the bet. Edward," she says looking down at me, "I'll keep up my end of the bargain. Now, let me mosey on over here to my family so we can get going. Y'all have a safe trip back to New York."
Before I could stop her, Bella rushed past us and began to make her way over to her father and the others. Quick waves of goodbye were exchanged by everyone around and before I could realize what all had just transpired, I was alone, all except for Lauren who was still at my side.
"Edward, what kind of bet did you make with her?" Lauren asked. I could hear the trepidation in her tone. It took me a few seconds to come up with an answer that would appease her and not make me look like the scum bag boyfriend I was.
"I bet her that she had to sing a certain song at the benefit." I looked at Lauren and smiled. It wasn't genuine but it would have passed. "That's all. It's nothing really."
~xxx~
Once everyone had left, I packed my bags and said my own good-byes to my family. I was going to make damn sure I returned before December. Actually, I was going to do my best to come back as soon as the retirement party was finished.
My mother and sister cried when we told them goodbye. My father and I exchanged firm handshakes and understanding looks. I had a feeling he knew I wasn't going to be able to stay away but he would never tell my mother that. I'm sure he was afraid to get her hopes up. Instead, as we shared a hard look between each other, I simply nodded my head. His lips had curled up in a half smile as he nodded back. He had understood with that look that I would in fact be back before the benefit.
At the airport, we dropped the car off at the rental place before we boarded the plane. I was silent as the plane ascended into the sky, thankful that it was pitch black out and that I was unable to see the blue tarps that hung from just about every roof in the city. Before I knew it, I had closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. Hours later, I felt Lauren awaken me from my slumber.
"We're home," she said as the captain began making announcements about upright seats.
I sighed and shifted in my seat, bringing it to the correct position. I said nothing to Lauren because I knew now that I wasn't home. I was only in town visiting. I left home five hours earlier.
~xxx~
Two weeks later
"Edward!" My agent called gleefully as I entered his office. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Wait," he said holding up his hands, "you've gotten your dad to agree to the album? I knew it! I tell you man, it's going to be amazing."
I couldn't suppress the laughter at his need to jump the gun. "Ty man, listen, I haven't gotten my dad to agree to anything yet."
"Yet? That's promising," he said. "I mean, it's better than just flat out no right?"
"I suppose. Listen, I was thinking about heading back down there. Maybe in the next couple of days or so."
Tyler arched an eyebrow at me. Much like my father, he was able to see right through my bullshit. "Really? I'm going to assume that you are in such a hurry to get back down there because you want to work on your dad a little more and nothing else."
I smiled but didn't elaborate on what else he could be referring to. "You're exactly right."
It was like we were watching each other in a chess match. I'd move one piece, he'd look at me like I was up to something before he made his next move.
"Right," he said dragging the one syllable word out into three. "I think that's a great idea. The retirement party is done and you're not scheduled to be back for the next show until after the holidays, so go. Have fun and enjoy yourself."
"Great. If you need me you know the number to my parents' house. That's where I'll be staying and of course, you can call my cell."
He smiled and waved his hand for me to leave. I turned around, practically running to the door. He called out just as I placed my hand on the knob.
"Oh, Edward? Is Lauren going with you again?"
I kept my back to him. I didn't want him to see the string of silent profanities that had left my mouth. He must have taken my momentary silence for an answer.
"That's what I figured," he said. "Edward, just do me a favor."
I turned around as he said this. His expression wasn't mad, just one of concern. "Don't try and live two different lives. It only hurts everyone in the end."
~xxx~
As soon as I returned back to my apartment, I booked the earliest flight to New Orleans. I was set to leave the following morning at seven. That had given me just enough time to pack my bags and make arrangements while I was out of town. I had no idea how long I planned on being gone. In my head I didn't plan to leave until after I absolutely had to come back to New York.
When I told Lauren of my plans later that evening over dinner, the first thing out of her mouth was that she didn't want to go. I laughed at her admission, thankful to have the out I needed for not inviting her. Things between us over the two weeks since we had returned had been strained at best. We seemed much more distant with each other. That could have been because of the amount of work we had been doing for the retirement. Even the nights, when we would usually have dinner or drinks together, had begun to diminish. She or I both always had other things to do. I called her to have dinner tonight so that I could tell her face to face that I was going back home.
When I dropped her off at her apartment she enticed me to come inside for a nightcap. I wasn't tempted. I wanted to get back to my apartment as quickly as possible. The sooner I was asleep, the sooner I'd be on the plane. I quickly kissed her goodbye and hailed a cab back to my own place.
I slept restlessly the whole night. I kept thinking about Bella and whether or not she would be happy to see me. She had inconspicuously said that she would hold up her end of the bet before she left my parents' house that last afternoon that I was there. I wondered if she meant it. Would it still hold true for her because I had every intention of making sure that date happened.
Just as soon as I would begin to get excited over seeing Bella and the possibility of our date, I would equally feel just as shitty for not doing something about Lauren before I left. In my gut I knew I had to end it with her. Whether or not Bella wanted me, I wanted her and in the way I wanted her…well, I just couldn't do those types of things with baggage.
When the alarm went off at four AM I crept out of bed and jumped in the shower. The hot water felt good against my cool skin. I lingered a little longer than necessary before I jumped out and dressed for the flight. A cab was waiting when I left my building. Within fifteen minutes he had me at the front gate of the airport. I gathered my bags, checked in the luggage I couldn't take on board and waited.
I waited for the plane to begin boarding.
I waited for the plane to take off.
I waited for my mind to ease up and allow me a few hours of peace.
I waited.
In my moments of trying to clear my head, an older gentleman in the seat next to mine asked me a simple enough question that I shouldn't have had to think about it.
"Headed down to New Orleans?" he asked.
I nodded and smiled.
"Business or pleasure?" he asked again.
Smiling, I leaned my head against the headrest and closed my eyes. "Pleasure. New Orleans. She's always a pleasure."
~xxx~
A/N- I always knew I would have this chapter end with that line. It's taken straight from the show Treme and when I heard it I thought, that's perfect for my Edward. A sidenote, I'm on vacation next week so there will be no update. I'm not going anywhere exciting, just Houston for the weekend but hopefully I can start cracking down on writing the rest of this story. That would be amazing! In the mean time, check out the thread on twilighted.
I'm also up for auction for the Fandom Gives Back- Eclipse. Once the boards go up you'll be able to find links via my blog. www (dot) holly-hollister (dot) blogspot (dot) com.
See you all in two weeks!
Xoxo
Holly