AN: Brief note that actually has to do with the text, for a change—one of the character traits (of the very few) that I preserved in my Bella was her sex drive. Because, seriously? Horndog Bella from BD was one of the funniest things ever. Thank you again, I cannot believe how kind the reviews have been.

*****

Every inch of me glowed, electric and exhausted. I sat stupidly on the floor, Jacob similarly collapsed and sprawled beside me. Neither of us was capable of thinking clearly for a few minutes, choosing instead to stare at each other's bodies until I crawled over to him, curling against his side and feeling him drape an arm over me. When he spoke again, his words surprised me.

"That was pretty dumb," he said tonelessly. He kissed my thigh, eyes closed, lingering against me and smelling my skin with no shame. "I'm not sorry," he finished, and I giggled. His eyes opened again, and a wild grin covered his face. "What?"

"We are…it's like we're drunk!" I said. Both of us laughed out loud. I forced my body, now tender and spent, to lay down on top of him, and felt a bit more serious. He was right, we had been pretty dumb. "I guess we should figure out something, for future…emergencies." Another happy, silly smile plastered itself on my face and the same one looked back at me from Jacob's. The warmth behind his eyes also turned his slightly serious after a moment.

"I wouldn't mind," he said softly. I raised my head higher to fully look at him, and he took a deep breath. "I wouldn't mind if we didn't—well, I mean, I wouldn't mind if you got…"

"Back to never finishing sentences," I mumbled, but the joke was dry. Worry threatened to eclipse the raw happiness of the moment.

"I'm serious." He looked back at me, and I could see he was. His teeth tugged nervously at the white scar before he continued, and my heart melted inside of me. I wrapped my arms under his neck, laying fully along the length of him, and felt his arms come up around my middle, our legs tangling together. "If you want to wait, of course let's wait, but Bells, if you meant what you said…I'll marry you tomorrow. I'll marry you tonight, if that's what you want."

"Wow, Jake," I mumbled. Wow indeed….What did I want? Further and further in to uncharted territory, I stumbled upon more and more frightening boundaries, the landscape murky beyond. Jake didn't mind if I got pregnant? He'd been terrified of having children an hour ago. And marriage—how did I feel about that? Renee'd been married three times. Charlie'd gotten his heart broken and never married again. I realized I'd been quiet too long when Jacob shifted below me, finally rearranging us into sitting positions, our faces pointed towards each other but his tilted down to continue quietly examining mine. I felt bashful and tried to smile at him, and it didn't lessen his anxiety. Trouble knitted itself across the flesh of his forehead.

"Wow isn't yes, I guess," he said softly. I noticed that there seemed to be no danger of his losing control; he absently took one of my hands between his and brought it to his lips, closing his eyes again and inhaling. I wondered what he smelled in my skin, that he sought it so openly.

"Jake—how do you really feel about having kids?" His eyes opened, black lashes fluttering in surprise. "I mean, I'm confused…earlier, you were so upset that they might be like you—" He nodded in understanding.

"Bells, this might sound weird to you but I've wanted to do this since we were kids—not sex, I mean….just to be with you." Rich brown irises narrowed as his black pupils swelled, remembering. "And the natural extension of getting together is getting married, having kids…Even if I never said to myself, gee I can't wait till I can knock Bella up, it's always been there. In the background." He brought my hand to his mouth again, turning my palm towards his lips and kissing it deeply before he continued. "I am scared of passing on my…deformity, or whatever. But if you really…if you really…" He looked at me again, pressed my palm against his brown cheek and waited. The end of the sentence wrote itself in my mind's eye. If you really meant what you said. If you really love me as much as you seem to want to make me believe you do. If you've really changed enough to work towards something beautiful for us—a family. If you really want what I want. He didn't move again, his expression patient, unexpectant. I realized we could stay this way, just exactly this same way, for another day and night, and I knew he was ready to believe me. Ready to wait forever, as long as he knew I would be with him at the end of it.

"I'm not ready to do that stuff, Jake," I whispered. He was still looking at me, still calm. "I want to do it someday, but not today." I forced my weary arms up around his neck again and scooted my body against his, feeling the muscles of his thighs on either side of mine as dense as heated concrete. It felt safe. His lovely face, warm, coffee skin soft across firm bones, pressed against mine, and I brought one of my hands around to stroke his cheek. The scar below his eye greeted the ridges on my palm, textureless and cool. "I would love to have children with you, Jake, some day," I said, and knew as I said them the words were true. "But…maybe marriage is something I'll have to think about." The curve of his smile was flush against my cheek.

"Isn't that backwards?" He chuckled, low and thick, arms tightening around me.

"Maybe I'm just backwards," I said. "I feel like I learn everything backwards." Or just too late, I thought, and gulped. I was glad we'd gotten a little creative this time…but last time…the first time…

"Backwards…" he repeated, his voice suddenly lower, and then kissed my shoulder where it met my throat. Heat flew out across my skin at the touch of his lips, and I felt my deeper self responding at the same time Jacob's hands teased across the slip of skin over my hips. "That's something neither of us has learned…" the tone descended towards a growl.

"Jacob, we can't," I whispered, and I meant it this time. Our conversation brought home our recklessness and in spite of my body's lack of commitment—rather, total disinterest in celibacy--my mind disrupted the pleasure he stirred across me with fervent remonstrations. He immediately acquiesced, the undercurrent of lust abruptly disappearing from his touch.

"Okay," he said, and I knew he wouldn't put us in this position again—well, he wouldn't allow me to put us in this position again. I hoped my pragmatism could trump my body's resilient hunger when it had been longer than a half hour since I'd had him completely. "I love you, Bells," he whispered, cradling me. It was the last thing I heard; the warmth, the closeness and comfort of his embrace, all lulled me to a sudden sleep.

Savage nightmares roamed through my mind, warping the events of the day—Leah dragged Edward's body from the woods and begged Jacob to help bury it. Alice appeared in a ancient painting on the wall of Billy Black's house which violently burst in to flame. I gave birth to a round, bright moon. When I woke, it was in the bed of my girlhood at my own father's house, my clothes twisted on my body as if someone had tried to put them on me with awkward hands…hands that came alarmingly close to claws. It was the only passing thought I had before dread invaded me and I raced for a telephone.