A/N- Good morning! How is everyone? My three year old gave me hell this morning. Good times. Good times. So, here is the angst. Put your big girl panties on, it's going to be rough. My wonderful amazing beta Katydid2363 had two words for this chapter, "holy fuck." Can't wait to see what y'all think! Angstaddict09, fngrcufs, & dinx thanks girls for all of your help.
Let's move on with the show shall we?
Stephanie Meyer owns all.
Chapter 8
Take me back to New Orleans
And don't call me anymore
Cause I might love you yeah
But I love me more
-Take Me Back to New Orleans, Cowboy Mouth
EPOV
If I had walked to Bella's house I would have skipped home. I was so damn giddy I couldn't contain the elation flowing through my body. Seeing as it was, I was glad I had driven. With the current state my body was in, I didn't see how the massive boner I was sporting would have allowed me to skip. Although in the midst of my euphoric high, I belted out every line to Christina Aquilera's 'Genie in a Bottle' when it played on the radio.
I wasn't ashamed. I had just had the most amazing almost sex with Bella Swan. Sure I hardly made it to second base but damn it, didn't second base feel amazing! The way her breasts fit in the palms of my hands almost made me think that they were made for me.
For a tiny second I felt bad for egging her on, even after she had already said we needed to stop. She was right. It was wrong. But if feeling Bella Swan up was wrong, I didn't want to be right.
I replayed the way her hands felt running through my hair, the softness of her lips against mine- especially when our tongues met- and of course, the feel of her perfect tits in my hands. When I pulled into my parents' driveway there was nothing and no one that was going to ruin my perfect mood. So when I saw Jasper, or "Jazz" as my sister liked to call him, leaving I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.
"Say hey, Edward," he called as I walked up to the house.
"Hey back at 'cha, Jasper," I said maybe a little too much like a teenage boy who had just felt up a girl for the first time.
"I take it you and Bells had a good time?"
"The best. I took her to Tujaque's and we walked in the Quarter. I couldn't have asked for a better time."
"That's great man, she's one hell of a gal. I should know," he added with a wink, walking past me with a hitch in his step. "Hey, did ya get those beers I left for y'all? I figured you might come up for a night cap so I left two in the fridge."
I was getting a strange feeling from him, the wink, the beers, thinking that it was possible that she would invite me up? I wasn't sure where he was headed and I was afraid if I asked it would soften the hard on I was still sporting.
"Oh, um, yeah. Thanks," I said not sure of what else I needed to say.
"Not a problem. Have a good night, Edward."
"Yeah, night, Jasper."
I should have left it at that but because I am the world's biggest idiot, I didn't.
"Hey, Jasper," I said. He stopped and turned around.
"When we left, Bella told you to lock up. Why would you have a key to her apartment?"
Jasper smiled. He smiled a smile I didn't like. It was like with that one affirmation he had just confirmed everything I was afraid of.
"Oh you know. For this and that."
"No, I'm afraid I don't know," I said, walking closer to him.
Jasper held up his hands in surrender. "Dude, it's not like that anymore. Izzy and I haven't been, well together, for a while now."
I continued to walk towards him until I was right in his face. "What do you mean, together?"
"I really don't think I need to spell that out for ya, brah. Izzy and I had an arrangement of sorts. You know, a friend with benefits type of relationship? Like I said, it hasn't been that way for a while. She kicked my ass to the curb," he said laughing.
I was seeing red for more than one reason. I was pissed to learn that Bella had such a frivolous relationship with someone. The very someone who was currently sucking face with my sister.
"Does my sister know this?" I asked though gritted teeth.
"You know what dude, fuck this. I don't need to explain my past sexual escapades with Bella to you. What the hell is she to you anyways? The last time we saw your ass you had a girl with you."
"I'm going to ask you one more time. Does. Alice. Know?"
He shook his head and laughed like he was uncomfortable. "Listen, I'm going to say this to you. Alice is a grown woman who can make her own decisions, but for the record, and I'm telling you this because I fucking care for her and Bella, she does know. I've been nothing but honest with your sista. Now, let me tell you something mother fucker," his tone became tense and harsh. He pointed his index finger into my chest as he spoke.
"Bella is and was more than just some girl I fucked. I've known her practically my whole life. So let me make this clear, you do anything to fuck with her and her feelings, you better believe I will kick your ass. You got me? And before you decide to get your dick wet, you might want to do something about the bimbo you brought down here with ya. Bella might be keen on the idea of getting hers with no strings attached but she sure as hell ain't one to fuck somebody when they are already getting it."
With that he stepped back and began walking back down the driveway. I stood motionless as he revved his bike up and took off down the street.
I wasn't sure what to think. Did I confront her about this? Did I mention to Alice that I knew about Jasper's past? The one thing I did know was that I wasn't going to beat off to erotic images of Bella Swan hovering over me. Not tonight anyway.
~xxx~
The next week drug by. I was still on the fence on what to say, or how to approach Bella about what had happened with Jasper. Apparently in the week since it had happened, he had not mentioned the incident to Alice. In some aspect, I had respect for him. God knows I didn't want to be on the receiving end of whatever bitch out she was going to dish my way.
When Friday night rolled around I dressed for a night of playing with the band at the club. I hadn't spoken to Bella at all so it was in question as to whether or not I would even be allowed on the stage. My father assured me that it would be the perfect time for all of us to practice. With my horn at my side, I drove to the club nervous and a little sick to my stomach.
The last time I had seen her I was happier than I had been in a long time. The fact that she used to share a bed with Jasper didn't make me think any less of her. Everyone had a past. I just didn't realize that hers would hit so close to home.
When I walked in the doors Rosalie was sitting at the bar, a cigarette between her fingers. Bella had her back turned, none the wiser that I had just arrived. Of course, the door shutting behind me gave away my presence.
When she turned to face me her face lit up. Like literally, her face glowed. I smiled on reflex because honestly, seeing that I made her look like that did a number for my ego. I walked towards the bar and set my case down, saying hello to Rosalie.
"How are ya Edward? We haven't seen nor heard of you since the date with Bella here," Rosalie said flicking the ashes off of her cigarette.
"Yeah, I've been kind of busy." Bella looked me in the eye but I had to look away. As much as I was happy to see her, the conversation with Jasper was still gnawing at me.
She frowned but never said a word, not a hello or what the hell is your problem. The air was thick with tension as the three of us stood around the bar. Rosalie excused herself to find Emmett and I was left alone with Bella. Hindsight told me not to bring it up and act like I didn't know but of course, hindsight is always twenty/twenty.
Before I could get the right words out of my mouth, Bella spoke. "I thought we weren't going to let what happened last weekend get weird between us."
I looked at her questionably. "Nothing is weird."
"The hell it's not!" she said with a snort. "I don't see you all week and then you come in here acting all strange. What gives Cullen?"
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair which only made me think of last weekend when she had been doing the very same thing.
"Listen Bella, I just have a lot on my mind right now."
"I get it," she said, throwing the rag down on the bar top she had been using to wipe out glasses. "It's not you it's me. Right?"
"What? No! It's not that at all! Ugh!" Frustrated, I decided to just get it all out there. "I ran into Jasper when I got back to my parents after I dropped you off."
"O-kay, so? You ran into Jasper? Why is that a cause for the end of the world?"
"Why does he have a key to your house Bella?" Start with questions first. Make her tell you what's going on before you tell her you already know. It sounded like a feasible idea in my head.
"What are you getting at Edward? Just say whatever it is." Her tone was defensive now.
"Do you want to tell me what used to go on with the two of you?"
"Why is that any of your business? I'm not fucking you am I? True, I jumped the gun last weekend but I don't see where I'm the one at fault here. You're the one with a girlfriend. So why are my past relationships any of your business?"
"I just want to know, that's all." I toned down the harsh manner of speaking and decided that maybe if I talked to her in a more reasonable voice we might get further with this conversation.
"Why? Do you plan on fucking me, Edward? Because if you do, you sure as hell better get rid of fucking blondie. I don't fuck guys with girlfriends. But to answer your question, yeah, I used to sleep with Jasper. Hell, I used to sleep with other people too. Would you like a list? I'd be glad to make one for you. Not that it really matters seeing as how I have no intentions of letting you stick your dick in me."
She stormed out from behind the bar with a huff. I jumped from my seat, realizing I was being the biggest dick in the entire world. I caught up with her just as she was about to walk to the back. I grabbed her hand, making her stop and turn into me sharply. For a brief second I was sure she was going to hit me. I kind of deserved it.
"Bella, wait. I'm sorry okay. I shouldn't have said anything. It's just the whole thing caught me off guard. I like you okay? Like, a lot and I don't know what I'm doing. Please, can you forgive me?"
Her eyes darted to the door and when I heard it shut I realized that we weren't alone. I didn't care who had just arrived, all that mattered was that she let me apologize and that she forgave me.
"Baby, I think you've got bigger fish to fry." She inclined her head to the door and it took all the strength I had to see who was standing there. When I did I couldn't believe who it was. There, standing inside Tizzy's were the two people I least expected to see.
Tyler and Lauren.
With my hand still holding on to Bella's arm she leaned closer to whisper in my ear.
"I tell you what, I'll forgive you after I see how this little reunion pans out."
She broke free from my grasp and I could no longer feel the heat of her body. I still hadn't uttered one word to Tyler and Lauren. My mouth was hanging open but nothing would come out. The only thing I could think was that I was royally fucked.
~xxx~
Lauren acted as if she didn't notice a thing that had happened between Bella and myself when she arrived. I was thankful because it was one topic of discussion I wasn't prepared to have. Tyler on the other hand looked like he knew exactly what was up.
"What are y'all doing here?" I asked Tyler, as he shook my hand. I leaned over to Lauren and kissed her chastely on the cheek.
"What, we can't come down and see our boy play?" he said with a smug look on his face.
"Ty, you can't tell me you were in the area. What gives?"
"Nothing Edward!" Lauren said with the same smug look as Tyler. "We missed you, that's all."
"Right, I bet. Listen, we're going to take the stage in a minute. Why don't y'all take a seat at the table up front and watch the show."
The two of them stayed during the entire set that night. Tyler had to see for himself the magic of The Doctor on stage and Lauren said she felt more comfortable with a friendly face next to her. I didn't argue with them. I took the stage with the others, playing the songs on memory alone. I wasn't into the show tonight. I wasn't into the crowd. I wasn't feeling the usual lightheartedness I usually felt when I was on the stage.
As soon as the set was over with, I ushered Tyler and Lauren back to my parents' house rather than sticking around with everyone else. Bella hadn't uttered two words to me since they had arrived. I knew it was pointless to stick around and I really didn't want to make things any more uncomfortable for her than they already were.
Jasper looked like he was ready to kick my ass. He was another reason why I bolted so quickly. I didn't doubt for one second that he would do it. I would have done it to myself in a heartbeat.
The drive back to my parents' was filled with Tyler going on and on about seeing my dad perform in person. How amazing it was and how much chemistry he and I had on stage together. That only fueled the fire for him to bring up the album again. I told him I was working on the details but that didn't stop him from bringing it up every five minutes.
As soon as we were home, I showed Tyler the guest room and escorted Lauren to my room. She made no move to engage me in sex that night. I had a feeling she knew that my heart wasn't in it anymore. It had been a long night and with the conversation being dominated by Tyler on the way back from the club, I decided that in the morning I would get answers as to why they had come back.
The next morning the death stares continued from every person in my family. My father had hardly said two words to me, Alice wore a permanent scowl whenever she was in the same room as Lauren and my mom did her best to play the neutral card, even though I knew she was anything but.
I was grateful that my family had already eaten, so when it was just Lauren, Tyler and myself at the dining room table, I decided then was the perfect time to find out what was on their agenda.
"Do you two want to tell me why y'all really came down here?" I said, jumping head first into the conversation.
Tyler chewed on a piece of bacon and smiled through his food. "Listen to you, Ed. You sound like a local again. All it took was coming home for a couple of weeks to get your accent back."
I hadn't noticed but he was right. I smiled to myself realizing that it was true.
"Do you think that's a good thing, Edward?" Lauren asked, gracefully sliding a piece of grapefruit into her mouth.
"Well, yeah. I mean, this is how I used to sound. Before New York."
She huffed, not pleased that I was no doubt becoming the guy I was before I left town. The guy she had never known.
"I for one think it's great. Adds more authenticity to the vibe, ya know?" Tyler said, still smiling.
"Sure. Now, cut the shit. Why are y'all really here?"
"Edward, by the way you are acting it would seem you're not happy to see us. Any particular reason why?" Lauren said with a questionable gaze.
"No," I said stressing the word. "I'm just caught off guard."
"Well, some things have come up Edward. Big things." Tyler said, setting his coffee mug on the table.
"Very big things! Parisian things Edward!" Lauren exclaimed.
"Y'all are going to have to elaborate. I'm afraid I don't follow."
Tyler and Lauren looked at each other and smirked. "You know how when I went to Paris I told you that there might be an opening for you to join me? Well it turns out that there is! Edward can't you just see it! The two of us in Paris for Christmas! The lights, the sounds, the food! Isn't it so exciting?" she cried, joy evident in her tone.
Tyler looked at me and continued to smirk. I stared back at him in disbelief. "What do you think? Paris instead of New York? Sounds like a pretty good idea doesn't it?"
"Um…hmmm…I'm gonna need to think about this alright? I mean, this is kind of sudden and Thanksgiving is next week and I had planned on staying here with my family. Not to mention the benefit is in a few weeks. I…I just don't know. I don't think Paris is really my scene."
"What do you mean it's not your scene?" Lauren asked appalled. "Of course it is! You're a world renowned orchestra player! Paris is the big leagues. You have to come, you just have to Edward." She was pleading now and I had a feeling she was pleading with more than just the trip to Paris.
"I tell you what Ed. You think about it tonight. We have to head back tomorrow. You're playing again tonight right?" Tyler asked.
I nodded. Lauren huffed and crossed her arms over her chest.
"Alright, let me know after the show tonight. How's that?"
I nodded again and stood up from my chair, taking my plate with me as I left.
There was no way in hell I was leaving with them tomorrow. There was no way I was leaving my city. I had to earn that apology acceptance from Bella and me leaving town and skipping out on the benefit was not the way to do so.
~xxx~
Instead of driving my own car, I rode to the club with Tyler and Lauren. Just like last night, they sat at the same table, only this time my mother and Alice joined them. We arrived late due to Lauren taking forever to get ready. I was slightly glad because I was being a pussy about facing Bella. Oh, and then there was Jasper I had to worry about too. I should have realized that Jasper wasn't the only one who wanted to kick my ass. As soon as Tyler and Lauren were situated at the table, drinks in hand, none other than Rosalie forced me into the back of the club.
I hadn't realized where I was being taken until she let go of my arm to slam the door. I looked around and noticed that we must have been in Charlie's office. When I turned around to face Rosalie she was already in my face, her long manicured finger poking the center of my chest.
"You listen to me and you listen good. Bella is like a sista to me and I'll be damned if you're going to give her the run around. I don't know who you thought you were pushing her buttons about Jasper. You of all people have no right to lay into her for that shit. So I'm going to say this once to you, you do one thing, one tiny little thing to upset her and you can bet your sweet ass that I will take you down. You understand me pretty boy?"
I was at a loss for words. I nodded dumbly, my eyes the size of saucers at the verbal beat down I had just received from a girl. Rosalie turned on her heel, opened the door, and marched out of the office. I stood alone in the room, gripping the desk for leverage. I'm not sure how long I stayed in there. It must have been quite some time because Charlie came in looking for me.
"Edward, we're taking the stage. You all right? You look like someone just handed you your ass." He laughed, not knowing just how true that statement was.
"I think so." I replied, still fighting the urge to throw up. The last thing I wanted to do was tell Bella's father that Rosalie had just cornered me about the things that had transpired between his daughter and myself. I was in enough shit with Bella's friends. I didn't need to add her dad to the list of people who wanted to beat my ass.
"Let's go. The house is packed tonight and they're getting antsy."
I told my brain to move my feet. They acted on their accord and when I passed Charlie he slapped his hand on my back and patted it several times.
"I don't know what Rosalie said to you," Charlie began, "so I won't bust your chops. Just know that I see everything that goes on inside my club, Edward. Everything."
I was totally about to shit myself now. He didn't elaborate on what had gone down but from the father knows all look in his eye and the nervous twitch of his mustache, I knew Charlie Swan was not a man I wanted on my bad side. I had to do something to rectify this situation I had gotten myself into and I had to do it tonight.
~xxx~
Tonight's set was pretty much identical to the night before. It shocked me that Lauren and Tyler had stuck around to watch the whole thing. I knew that they both were waiting on me to decide on whether or not I was going back with them. I knew I wasn't. I think they knew that too.
When we finished up, they were both quick to their feet. I helped the others clear the stage, prolonging the talk I knew was inevitable. Tyler knew better. He knew I was avoiding them so it didn't come as any surprise when he cornered me before I could continue to deter them.
"Edward, have you made a decision yet?" Tyler asked, Lauren at his side with her arms crossed over her chest.
I looked down at my feet, shuffling them against the grainy wood floor. "Yeah, I have."
"Well, before you tell us, we need to talk about your dad." I looked up and met Tyler's gaze. "Whether you come back with us or not, you need to get your dad to agree to the album." As Tyler spoke, Lauren scoffed like it wasn't a matter that was up for debate. "After watching the two of you together I just know that this will sky rocket your career. Not like he needs it or anything, you either for that matter. I think it's the perfect way for the two of you to join forces. The good Doctor and his son, playing New Orleans music and maybe a little of their own." He added with a nudge in my ribs.
I ran my hands through my hair out of habit. I had yet to really talk to my dad about the album. I had mentioned it briefly when I first returned but never again.
"Listen, he's over there talking with some guy right now. Just pull him over to the side, explain to him that you're headed back to New York and when we get back home we'll start the motions in order. I'll get a studio lined up, maybe a few other musicians to play back up, and of course, a contract with all the fine print. It won't take five minutes."
"Edward, baby, do this for us. I'm ready to head back. Paris is waiting for us," Lauren said, speaking for the first time. "It's not like he's going to tell you no and besides, what is playing in this rinky dink club going to do for his career either? This could be huge for the both of you."
"She has a point, Ed," Tyler said, with a serious look on his face to match his serious tone.
I shook my head and looked down at my feet again. "I don't know. I'm just not sure."
"I think it's a great idea." An angelic voice called from behind me. I froze. No. There was no way she had just heard all of that. "Lauren was it? I'm so sorry, I'm terrible with names. You have a point. I mean, what is playing this hole in the wall going to do for either of y'alls career?"
I couldn't turn around to face her. I knew now that there as no way I was going to get my apology accepted now. She walked up to us and stood next to Tyler who was smiling from ear to ear at her. When I finally looked up to face the music, the expression on her face broke my heart. I had done that to her. I was the one that made her look so cold and heartless at me.
"It's not like your dad doesn't already have this stellar career but you, Edward. Oh yes, think of all the wonderful things that it could do for you. Of course, I guess this would mean that you would be coming out as Edward Cullen and not Masen?" She turned her question towards Tyler who nodded. "Yeah, that's what I thought. And did I hear something about Paris? Just think of the inspiration you could get there. I mean, New Orleans is practically molded after the Parisian streets. You'll feel like you're right at home. Or is home New York? Do you even know Edward?"
"Bella, I…" I started but she cut me off.
"Thanks for playing while you were in town. It's been real, but cornet players are a dime a dozen. You'll be replaced in no time. Y'all have a safe trip home." She gave me a pointed look when she said the word home.
Tyler continued to smile as Bella walked off. Well, stormed off. I moved my feet to follow her when I was grabbed by the back of the arm.
"Edward, let her go." It was Lauren. I tugged my arm lose and ran after Bella. I glanced behind the bar and even called out for her in the ladies restroom. When I finally found her she was sitting in the chair behind her father's desk, her back turned towards me.
I quietly stepped in but she heard me. Without facing me she began speaking.
"How could you?" she asked, slowing turning the chair around. "How could you!" she screamed.
Bella leapt from the chair, stalking towards me. "Bella, I'm sorry. I had no idea,"
"No idea? No idea, really? So you're telling me that you had no idea that you were sent down here to convince daddy to work alongside you on an album? An album I gathered will only help further your career? You are one sorry sack of shit, you know that?"
"Bella, please," I said reaching out for her. She backed up like my hand was on fire.
"Do not touch me. Do not come near me. I meant it when I said you should go. You have no idea how much you make me sick right now, Edward. I know that you and I really didn't have anything going on but for a brief second I thought that we could have." She laughed and shook her head. "My God was I stupid."
Her tone turned serious suddenly. "I meant it, you should go. Don't leave your friend and your girlfriend," the word came out as a sneer, "waiting. And because I actually have a decent bone in my body, I suggest you do it now before the others realize what has happened and beat the fuck out of you."
"Bella, you have to hear me out. Please," I begged again. If I could only get her to listen, to see that I wanted no part of New York or Paris. I needed for her to understand that this was where I wanted to be. She was who I wanted to be with.
"Edward, I'm trying to be civilized about this. I'm not quite sure what you could say to make this better right now. Please, just go."
When I refused to leave the office, she moved past me, leaving me standing alone. Of course, like any stubborn southern woman, she had to have the last word.
"I meant it when I said you could be replaced. At least with the band anyways."
The last part broke my heart. I stood in the office, alone for a minute, mulling over all the things I had messed up. In the end, even though I had not been able to speak my piece, I had ruined whatever I could have had with Bella. All of her friends would inevitably hate me and I was pretty sure that my family would be pretty disappointed themselves.
I walked out of the office towards the bar to see Tyler and Lauren standing by the door. I grabbed my cornet case from the stage, noticing that the crowd had diminished quite a bit. Mike the bartender was behind the bar filling orders for the few that were still left. I looked around for anyone else I might recognize, my family, those that wanted to kick my ass, Bella… anyone. My dad was behind the piano tuning the keys. I tentatively walked over and sat down next to him. He inched over to make room, never looking up at me.
"I don't know what you've done Edward and I probably don't want to know," he said, keeping his attention on the piano.
"I fucked up pretty good."
He finally looked up, his expression one that said I wasn't telling him something he already knew. "I could tell. The way Bella stormed out of here I figured it wasn't anything good."
"She left?" I asked, not sure why I would have thought she would have stayed.
My dad nodded, directing his sights back on the piano.
"Listen, I'm going to head out."
"Is this goodbye?" he asked, looking at me from the corner of his eye.
I left that answer hanging in the air as I walked towards Lauren and Tyler.
"You ready man?" Tyler asked.
I kept mum, not ready for honestly anything. Lauren linked her arm though my own and led me to the car. It had begun to rain so she dragged me through the street, water sloshing against my pants. It was as if I were a puppet and someone was pulling at my strings. I got in the car, soaking wet and sat, looking straight ahead as Tyler led us away from the bar. Away from everything.