I don't own Star Wars. George Lucas does.

Qui-Gon: Hippie or Heartbroken?

As you all know, Qui-Gon is my ex-boyfriend. He's been taking his ex-boyfriend status pretty badly. He sends me tons of red roses and other flowers every day begging for forgiveness. This triggers my allergies, and no way will I forgive him until he gets every stinkin rose out of my apartment.

This brings up the question; is Qui-Gon a flower-obsessed hippie or a heartbroken hottie?

"Hottie? No way. Heartbroken? Definitely. Hippie? Probably," says Mace Windu.

"My Master?! A hottie?! No way! You were right to dump him," says Obi-Wan Kenobi, which doesn't really answer the question. He's been against our relationship from the start. It's very Sith-like.

"Yeah, he's a heartbroken hottie," Siri Taci dreamily. "And he's single." (Wait a minute, she can't steal my ex!)

"Have you seen him in the gardens? He practically worships those flowers. He pets them, and feeds them, and takes them on walks," Clee Rhara stated, trying to keep a straight face.

"You broke up with him? So he's single? Sorry, can't talk, got to go," Adi Gallia quickly said.

"As a Padawan, Qui-Gon did enjoy stopping and smelling the roses, and not metaphorically," Dooku, Qui-Gon's master, said.

"So he's the one who's been taking all the garden's flowers!" A temple gardener exclaimed.

"Strong in the living force, he is," says Yoda. I can't seem to get a straight answer out of anyone today!

When I asked Qui-Gon's opinion on this, he said (And it's so sweet, I bet you're jealous!)
"Tahl, forget your 'investigation.' All I want is your forgiveness. The truth is, I'm allergic to flowers. -Sneeze- and I –sneeze- hope that you still like me. –Sneeze-

Then Adi and Siri ran up to him and started hitting on him! That made me really mad, so I punched them. That's right; I punched a Padawan and a Council member all over a guy. I'm so bad. They ran away crying. I think I can conclude that Qui-Gon is a no longer heartbroken hottie.

How'd you like it? Good? Bad? Funny? Worthy of a flame? Review by clicking on the review button. Its right there, see? Right below this. And please suggest a character and something I can write about them, so far I'm out of ideas.