Chapter 26

BAU Headquarters
Quantico, VA

Spencer

"From that point on I pretty much checked out of the whole process." Spencer said. "I could intellectually tell you about water torture or the use of hot wax or these big saddle things but I'm honestly not anywhere close to ready to go back and process those emotions."

"Therapy." Kate said.

"So. Much. Therapy." Spencer agreed. He had never been much for talking to a psychologist, but for this he totally would.

"Let's just hit the highlights. You said that there was a victim that was killed while you were there?"

"Yeah. Mikey."

There

Then

It was almost inevitable. Given what they were doing to him, how they were abusing him, it was no surprise when one day Mikey woke burning from fever. "What does it mean?" Jack asked.

"Check his groin." Spencer said. "Look for red lines radiating up toward his abdomen."

"Yeah, he's got that. And they're hot. What does that mean?"

Jack knows, Spencer thought, but he's in denial. "Sepsis. Blood poisoning. It means gangrene is forming deep in the tissue. He needs antibiotics and it..."

"Robot dick." Jack said with morbid humor. "Think they'll do that today?"

Spencer could sense Alice's tension. Jack had to prepare himself. "Jack, my team was here investigating a serial killer."

"They'll help him." Jack said, but Spencer could hear his voice thickening.

"...the killer was leaving the bodies of young men in the woods..."

"They'll help him! He's still good for them!"

"Jack." Alice said, her voice close to tears.

"Fuck off! Both of you!" Jack ordered. Spencer heard him moving to the far corner of the room, taking Mikey with him.

"Lou." Alice said quietly. "Come help me with the laundry."

Spencer heard what she didn't say. Give Jack and Mikey time to say good-bye.

Later they came for them, of course. This time Spencer had a harder time checking out of what was being done to him, because Alice wasn't singing in his ear piece today.

She was sobbing.

Later still he once again landed on the pile of bedding, sore and aching and cold. As he usually did he remained there and waited for Alice to help him to the shower so she could treat his wounds. She was always the last one back. He lay there until he heard her come in, crying.

"Where's Mikey?" Jack asked. There was too long a pause. "Where is he!"

Alice couldn't stop crying. "It didn't hurt." She said too quietly. "It was quick."

"No." Jack said. "No. You lying, cunting..." But he knew. He knew. Spencer heard him start to wail.

They all moved then. They all moved to Jack, to hold him in his grief.

"You know..." Spencer started some time later, when the first storms of grief had spent.

"Are you going to tell me that this is God's will?" Jack asked, his voice low and bitter. "Or some other kind of happy crap?"

"No." Spencer replied. "I lost the woman I loved once. She was killed in front of me. And honestly, the first time someone said some...some happy crap to me after she died I dammed near drew my gun and shot her and she's my best friend. No, I was going to say I died once."

"Really?"

"Yeah. An Unsub made me OD on narcotics. I was dead for about a minute, minute and a half before he restarted my heart."

"Did you see anything?'

"I did. I know near-death experiences are usually dismissed as visions of the lights and people in the emergency room but I was all alone in a dark shack in the middle of nowhere so that doesn't hold. And I was going to say something my boss said after his wife was killed."

"What's that?"

"That he didn't have to worry about her anymore because she was in the only place where he knew the monsters out there would never find her. That's where Mikey is right now, he's safe somewhere where no one can ever hurt him again in any way. And I can say from experience that that place is warm and peaceful and full of love. A remarkable amount of love. And if connections on this plane matter on that one then he is surrounded by strong people who will look after him until you get there. And I know you can trust them to do that because they were my friends."

Jack was quiet a moment. "Do you believe that praying does anything?"

"I don't know." Spencer said. "But I'll ask them to look after him for you anyway."

"Thanks."

Even in the interview Spencer's voice was soft and cracking with emotions. "Jack and Mikey were only apart for two weeks. That was the last thing Jack said, that he was going to go look for Mikey."

"And he's one of the bodies Mr. Underwood found?"

"Yes. They identified him this morning."

"Do you remember anything about getting out of there?"

Spencer shook his head, shook off the grief. "That was the last thing I heard before they grabbed me. After that I was honestly too high to remember much of anything until I woke up in the hospital."

"All right." Kate closed her notebook. "You know we're going to have to get the rest of it in time."

"Eidetic memory." Spencer replied. "I'm not going to forget."

"I know." They stood to leave the room. "Do you still do hugs?" Kate asked.

"Always." Spencer replied with a smile. And he collected a huge one.

They moved out to the bullpen where Alice was waiting at the break table, surrounded by a remarkable number of shopping bags. "Dave got me drunk." She said when she saw him looking at them. "And I'm participating."

Spencer couldn't help it. He smiled and pulled her into his arms. Maybe they would be okay.

.

Note: I try not to ask but comments would be appreciated on this chapter. It was a hard one to write and it's been so quiet I'm not sure if anyone is still reading. If not I'll wrap this up quickly and try a different, less "mature", one.