Part 3.

In the flush of love's light, we dare be brave. And suddenly we see that love costs all we are, and will ever be. Yet it is only love which sets us free.

Maya Angelou

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Chapter 27

BAU Headquarters
Quantico, VA

Spencer

Morgan said he was taking them back to the hotel at the end of the day, but he wasn't quite done yet. So they settled on the couch in the conference room to wait. "What is all this?" Spencer asked, eying the pile of shopping bags.

"I'm participating." Alice replied.

"By shopping?" Oh, that didn't sound right. "I'm not condemning, I want to understand."

Alice thought a moment. "Do you know what I always loved about the BDSM community? It's support and it's confidentiality. If you want to run around in a bib and a diaper and be treated like a two year old, they will indulge you and never say a word outside the community. Or if you want to go around on your knees with a muzzle on your face and have everyone treat you like a puppy. Or if you want to act like you've been, I don't know, possessed by aliens or..."

"...or you want to live like you were born a hundred years ago?" Spencer could see where this was going.

Alice smiled gently. "And no one ever said a word to my mother. She never came to find me, scornful because I was doing something silly rather than working on my career. She was scornful enough when she thought I was just passing through on my way to a Pulitzer."

"But now?"

She was quiet a long moment more. "Life's too short." She said, her eyes too big and too luminous. "You never know...you could go to bed one night and wake up in hell. I'm not going to die regretting days and days of life and only appreciating a few hours a month."

"Good." He put his arm around her and pulled her head down to his shoulder.

"So I'm going to wear what I always wanted to wear, even if it shows my scars, and I'm going to try the things I always wanted to try even if it wastes my time and does nothing for my career and I'm going to read the books I want and try to live in a house even though a house is just a money pit. Even though I have no clue how." She laughed even though he could hear tears in there. "I can hear Jack now. 'Took you this long to figure it out? You haven't even spoken to your mother in how long? Stupid bitch.'"

They laughed at that, even though they shouldn't. "He's laughing at you, somewhere."

"I have no doubt about that. Fuck you Jack. Fuck you twice." But she said it with love. She looked up at him. "How are you today?"

"Tired. I've been talking all day." In response to that she lifted her head and tugged his to her shoulder. No complaints there. "And there will be a lot more talking to do in the future."

"It will keep it from happening to someone else, you said."

"It will. The more we learn the better we are at stopping them."

"They would like that. Jack would." She threaded lazy fingers through his hair, so comforting. "Do I need to sing to you?"

"If you do I'll sleep on this couch. It's not that comfortable a couch, I've slept here before."

"After dinner then." But she hugged him to her anyway. So tempting just to kick off his shoes and curl up and...

Dave came in then. "We got them." He said. "They arrested the last conspirator an hour ago.

"Yes." Spencer replied. Problem solved, Unsubs caught, justice being done. Now they could relax. "Do we have their mug shots yet?'

"I think so. Why?"

"I never saw their faces." He needed to know who did this to him. He just did.

Dave shrugged and moved to the intercom on the table. A moment later Garcia had thrown the mug shots up on the big screen over the round table. They looked...ordinary. Just like any people you'd see in any department in the country. Some part of him had hoped for something different.

"Who is that?" Alice asked, pointing to the picture in the lower left corner.

Dave squinted a little and consulted the file on his tablet. "Deputy John Schrader." He said. "They picked him up this morning."

"That's not Schrader." Alice said.

"What do you mean?"

"Ten years older, at least a foot taller, dark grey hair..."

Uh oh. "Garcia." Spencer said as he unfolded himself from the couch.

It took her less than an hour. "Their hacker is good but I am better. It looks like they missed a co-conspirator, their cyber crime guy. He went in and changed pictures and descriptions in all the official files."

"Why?' Alice asked.

"Because the Sheriff still has someone in play." Hotch replied.

"Thing is, you can never quite find everything on the internet. I found this." Garcia pulled up what looked like a clip from a local news cast. The deputy talking about some common drug bust fit Alice's description, tall, iron grey hair, maybe in his 30's...

But the voice was what did it. Voice #1. The moment Spencer heard that voice he could smell the disinfectant in that room, taste bitter bleach, he hurt...

"Spencer." Alice said quietly. She squeezed his hand to bring him back to the here and the now.

No one else said anything. They had all had their share of flashbacks. "That's John Schrader?" Hotch asked.

"Yes." Alice replied. "He's the one who killed them."

"Did he make you watch?" Dave asked.

Alice nodded.

"Did anyone else actually watch?"

She shook her head.

Everyone in the room sighed.

"What?" She asked.

Spencer pulled her to him, pressed a kiss to her hair. "He's coming after the witness."

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Note: Thank you all so much for the comments, it was just the boost, or perhaps kick in the pants, I needed. I can say we're past the more physical aspects of BDSM and all of the flashbacks, so both the romance and suspense should build back up. Unfortunately I'm likely going to be continuing to look at an every other day publishing schedule until after the holiday. Pies are a thing.

Thank you all again. Your comments mean so very much.

- TKL