Rating:
This chapter is Rated T.

Beta:
Isabella Rain; thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!

Authors Notes:
As promised, here is the second chapter I said I would post.
You will be shocked in this chapter, and I can't wait to read what you readers think about it.
I really enjoyed writing it and the action which causes the shock, had to be done, to make the story seem real.
I hope it turns out to be a great cliffhanger.
I would also like to thank the reviewers! You make my day.
Also a special thanks to ruthless527, you were my 100th review! :)

Disclaimer:
The author Richelle Mead owns the Vampire Academy universe. I Want To Experience Love is a Vampire Academy Fan Fiction story and it is not intended to infringe on any copyrights held by Richelle Mead or Razor Bill Company. Richelle Mead is the creator of the Vampire Academy characters, however this story is my original work. Copyright 2010 by xx-RedRoseBlackThorn-xx. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

CHAPTER NINE

Truth Be Told

Last night, Dimitri had told me that some students at the Academy were still shocked by the recent incident, and he wasn't wrong. Walking towards the cafeteria, I noticed most Moroi were power walking to where the guardians would be located, where as Moroi like Jesse, don't really give a damn.

As I was walking towards the cafeteria, I saw Dimitri talking to Alberta. It looked like a pretty intense conversation. He has been having a lot of those lately.

I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I had a good hunch it would be something worth listening to.

I hid behind a garden not too far away so I could hear them, but as I got closer to my hiding spot they turned around and looked closely in my direction.

"I understand that you are very busy Belikov, but I would appreciate if you could take some of your time and guard the perimeters," Alberta stated.

"Of course. Since I will be away for a few days it is only fair I make up my absence."

"Thank you Belikov. I will go and make up the rosters as soon as head back to my office. I understand this will be a tough time for you." Alberta sounded sincere.

Where was Dimitri going? Was he leaving me to go see Tasha? Why didn't he tell me he was leaving?

"It will not be a problem Petrov."

"I understand that you will have to hand in a written statement as well. How is that going?

"I have written the report and it is all well." Dimitri was answering with short answers, and that normally meant he didn't want to be having the conversation, or saying more information than necessary.

"Yes. Victor Dashkov's actions have defiantly taken a toll on all of us. Especially with the recent incidents, it all has come at the wrong time. With the trial only four days away, it's necessary we get the Academy up and running again appropriately."

I let out a gasp and covered my mouth. Alberta and Dimitri both looked around. I held onto my breath for so long I felt like I was going to turn blue. However they didn't seem to hear me. Dimitri was going to Victor's trial. Why didn't he tell me? I had the right to know. Even if they thought I would act irrational, Lissa should have been told.

"Did you hear that Belikov?" Alberta asked.

"It was probably a bird." He looked straight at me and said, "Or a students' noise, travelling down the hallway."

He saw me. How did he know where I was? He does know me better than I do. He has to teach me those skills he has.

"Yes, I think it was," Alberta sighed. "I better get started on those rosters. I'll see you at the novice meeting Belikov." She started walking away in the other direction.

I stayed hiding in the garden hoping Dimitri wouldn't come over and embarrass me.

I felt an arm grab me and pull me out of the bush.

"Rose, don't start," he ordered.

"Why didn't you tell me? I had a right to know," I yelled.

"It was an order from the Queen herself to not let any students know."

"I have every right to be there Dimitri," I spat. "Especially Lissa."

He pulled me around to the corner he and Alberta had been talking at. "I know, but there is nothing I can do."

"Yes, there is. You can tell them that we can testify."

"I have tried Rose, but it is settled."

I was too fumed to hear anything else he had to say, so I walked off. I got half way down the hallway when he was pulling me back.

"Don't walk away from me," he frowned.

"Don't keep secrets from me. You knew this all along. I can't believe you."

"Roza. Please."

I looked at him and stopped talking.

"I tried to get you there ok, but they would not have it."

"Why?" I took a deep breath and then it came to me. "They think we would talk, don't they?"

He just looked at me and nodded.

"Fantastic," I snorted.

He grabbed my hand and said, "He will be put away Rose."

"What? He isn't even in jail yet?" I couldn't believe it.

"No. That's not how it works. The queen is quite certain he will be put away for life after the trail."

I just stood there, staring in disbelief.

Dimitri looked around us to see if there was anyone in sight.

"You should head off and grab something to eat before the meeting starts." I was about to protest but he stopped me with a kiss. "You don't want to be hungry. Trust me."

"I don't know if I have an appetite anymore," I screwed up my face.

He chuckled and said, "You will need it for this afternoon."

"I guess I better," I sighed. "Do I get a good-luck kiss?" I pouted.

He poked my nose and said, "You don't need good-luck, I know you'll ace it." He always had good faith in me. I couldn't help but to smile up to him.

I pushed my bottom lip out further and whispered, "Dimitri."

He quickly looked around and pecked me on the lips. "I'll see you later, Roza." He winked at me and started walking towards the administration block.

I walked to the cafeteria, and for once the school gossip wasn't about me; it was about the attack. Everyone was still tense and worried that it would happen again. I noticed a few extra guardians around, they must have been the new ones that got transferred for protection.

Lissa was sitting at the table when I came to sit beside her.

"How are you feeling?" I knew the answer, but it's always nice to ask.

"I'm ok. I'll be better if we knew what happened to the victims' bodies."

"I know Lissa." I smiled and changed the subject. "I have a meeting about the first novice test after we finish lunch."

"You'll do great Rose." She smiled. I could feel her optimism with the bond.

Christian came over and kissed Lissa's cheek before sitting down across from us.

"Isn't this a great atmosphere," Christian scowled.

"It's top notch. If only it was like this every day," I matched his sarcasm.

Lissa gave us a don't-start-now look and said, "Rose was just telling me about her first novice test coming up today."

"No need to be worried, Rose. You know you'll kiss butt." Christian laughed, "Pun was intended."

I gave him a kick in the leg and he whined. He was funny but still no making fun of me.

The conversation I overheard Dimitri talking to Alberta about popped into my head. I sighed and looked down at the table.

"What's the matter Rose?" Lissa asked concerned.

"Yeah, it's not like you to feel guilty for hurting me," Christian snickered.

"There is something I have been meaning to tell you. Well, since I just heard it this morning."

"What is it Rose? You can tell us," Lissa urged on.

I had the sudden urge to stand up and run out of the cafeteria, so I wouldn't have to see the look on Lissa face when I told her the news. However deep down inside I knew I wouldn't be able to run, because I can be placed inside Lissa body and I would able to feel her emotions and that would be just as bad.

"Rose?" Lissa said again.

I looked up at Christian. He was staring at me to continue. He seemed to had noticed the expression on my face because he said to Lissa, "I'm feeling a bit hungry Liss, how about we go to the feeders?"

I gave Christian a thank you nod. Lissa shook her head at Christian, "Not yet. Rose has something she wants to tell us."

Christian gave me an apologetic smile.

"It's okay Christian." I gave him a small smile and kept talking, "There is no easy way to say this. It turns out Victor Dashkov was never found guilty for the things he did to us. However, there will be an official trial at court in the next few days."

Lissa's reaction to the news didn't go so well. Her reaction was pretty close to how mine turned out. She was shocked by the news. She couldn't believe that he had gotten away with it for so long. It was immediately followed by fear. Flashes of images came across through the bond. The way Victor had treated Lissa. The way she had found Christian bloody after the attack by the hounds.

Lissa scrunched her hands together on the tables. Her knuckles started turning white. Christian obviously didn't sense the reaction the way I could, but he didn't need to. He could still tell that she was unconformable and placed his hands over hers.

"But... how could he not be in jail?" She took a deep breath trying to calm herself. "Everyone knows and saw what he did. To me... and to... us." She was finding it hard to stay calm. It was rare for Lissa to not be the calm responsible one. But this time she had a reason to act the way she was.

"Apparently it's the law." I leaned in closer to talk to them, without the other students hearing me. "They believe he has the right for a fighting chance."

Lissa looked very confused and lost. Then her eyes were wide and understanding came all over her face.

"Are you saying they might not find him... guilty?"

I couldn't say anything. She was as hurt as I was about this realisation. Apparently, I didn't have to answer her question because she read it all over my face.

Christian slammed back into his chair and yelled, "This is bullshit. How could he not be in jail for what he did?" He stood up, "This is crap."

"It's politics Christian," Lissa barely whispered.

"It's not fair that people with power don't have to play by the same rules." Christian was getting more furious by the minute and students were bringing to look.

"I don't understand. He nearly tried to kill you two!" Lissa cried. "He kidnapped me and tortured me! How can they question that?"

Lissa emotions were all over the place. I was feeling the way I did when I was speaking to Christian the other day in the cafeteria. Lissa was passing over the emotions. It was fear. Sorrow. Anger. Outrage. Confusion. Helplessness. I was starting to feel like I was falling into a dark hole, and the light that shone through was dimming. I didn't want Lissa to be going through those emotions.

"Christian," I said. "Please, sit down."

Christian glared at me and then looked at Lissa. He realized he wasn't helping the situation and sat down and took Lissa's hands into his.

"When do we leave?" Lissa asked.

"There's a problem there," I said bitterly. "We are not leaving. We are not allowed to go."

"What!" exclaimed Christian. "Then who is going?"

"The other guardians who were there at the time. We, apparently can't be trusted to keep quiet about the trial. The Queen has made her decision and she is standing by it."

"This is fucked up!" Christian stood up and clenched the back of his chair.

Lissa was very quiet when she asked, "If Victor was free... would he come after us?"

"He wouldn't have time to come near you Lissa," I said with full force.

"You watch what happens with Rose and me onto him," Christian spat.

Lissa was trying to stay calm.

"It's okay, Liss. They have all the evidence there is to put him away." I patted her hand.

"I just wish we could go," she sighed.

I looked up at Christian, "I know."

I sat back while Lissa and Christian kept talking about Victor's trial. The black mood had seized over me again and listening to Lissa and Christian bicker, wasn't helping me relax. I wanted to weigh in with them, but letting out my bad mood on them, wasn't going to solve anything. My first duty was to protect Moroi and not give in to my own impulses.

I said my goodbyes to Lissa and Christian and headed over to the gymnasium where the novices would be given their first test to become a guardian.

I walked over to where Eddie was standing next to Meredith. I noticed all the guardians in the area and stopped when I noticed one in particular.

Janine Hathaway.

She was talking to Alberta beside the stage.

"Are you making a habit of coming in late, Rose?" Eddie laughed.

"You don't want to know what made me late this time," I said with all seriousness.

Eddie noticed my mood and let the teasing go.

Alberta walked onto the stage and held the microphone up to her mouth, ready to give us instructions. I looked around the room once more and noticed more guardians had joined the meeting. They were all lined up against the back wall. My mother was two bodies away from Dimitri.

"Good afternoon. As you all know, this afternoon will be one of the many test you will be required to attend and compete to contribute your overall graduation results." She looked toward Dean Barnes' direction. "Today, you will be tested with a listening test."

Dean let out a whine, and Alberta couldn't help but let a smile escape. It was then I noticed that she was looking forward to seeing Dean's reaction. She wasn't so bad after all, was she?

"You will all be taken into a room individually with a guardian. Your guardian will play different noises and voice statements through a tape player. Your job will be to identify the noise and what situation it may be placed in." She looked around the room while explaining the next few details. "I assume you will all take the test seriously. It will help determine who you will be guarding when you graduate. I will now pass you to Guardian Alto."

Stan walked up the stage and grabbed the microphone from Alberta and began his speech. "You will not all be going into each room one by one. There will be ten going in at a time but in different rooms. When the first ten are finished with their guardians, the next ten go in. Is that understood?" We nodded and Stan continued.

"The names I call out will be entering the rooms first. Shane Reyes you will be with Guardian Mark Stephan. Dean Barnes your guardian is Emil Bălan." Stan kept calling out the names to the first group and then started on the second group. "Edison Castile you will be with Guardian Alberta Petrov, Rosemarie Hathaway you will be with Guardian Dimitri Belikov."

My stomach twisted in knots. It must have been a coincidence I got Dimitri - it's not like he would have requested me. Would he?

"The first group may proceed to their guardian and they will show you to your room." He pointed to a group of guardians standing towards the doorway. "The others may have free time; however, if you are not back by the hour you will be given an F for this assignment." Stan left the room with Meredith and showed her to the room she would be taking the test in.

I decided it would be best if I went to my dorm, and tried to relax and not get fired up, like I did early today. As I was walking up the stairs towards my dorm, I felt someone come up behind me. Without taking the risk, I swung my elbow out and tried to hit them as hard as I could. Turning around and swinging a right hook, a hand caught my fist before it hit his face.

It was Dimitri. I didn't even smell his aftershave. What was wrong with me? He arched his eyebrow up and gave me a mock look.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"Anxious are we?" He smiled a crooked smile.

"Why don't we go up to my room?"

Dimitri led the way to my room and opened it with his set of keys. He sat on the chair while I went to the bathroom. I came back with a wet face because I decided to put some cold water on it, trying to calm myself down.

"You're dripping," he chuckled.

"Excuse me?"

He chuckled and said, "You're face is still wet."

I hunched over and walked back into the bathroom and dried my face.

"You don't need to worry," he said.

"Did you ask to be with me?"

"When?" A smile was on his lips.

"For the test. Did you ask for me?" I walked over and stood in front of him.

"Why would you think that?" He pulled me on top of him and kissed the side of my jaw.

"You're going to be harder on me," I pouted.

He started to kiss down my neck. "It will make you a better guardian."

I moaned when he reached a sensitive spot on my neck. I could feel his smile on my skin. I turned to look at him and we locked eyes. He held up his hand and gently touched my cheekbone with the tip of a finger. His warm fingers curled around the side of my face, so gently I knew he was curbing his desire.

The feeling was wondrous. I pressed myself against him. I brushed my fingers through his hair and he covered my neck with warm kisses. I could feel my skin's red imprint where his lips had touched. I moaned and tossed my head. I let my hands fall down and touched his thighs. Gently, I drew circles over his legs and very slowly, moved them up. My hands moved under his shirt and pulled it off to his naked muscles. I slid my hands very slowly up his eight-pack, feeling his smooth marble chest.

Suddenly I gasped. He was biting me relatively hard on the side of my neck. His tongue was moving around in circles and he began sucking very hard. I gave a moan and pushed my hands up slowly to his pecks. Was this what it was like to touch a god? I couldn't breathe.

Dimitri's hands found my thighs, and he rubbed them firmly up and down. Slowly, he got to my hips, moving his hands back some more. His fingers tightened considerably around my buttocks. It was hard enough for me, wanting so much just to...jump him. But for him! I imagined the self-control he needed for this. For so long, I thought maybe he didn't want me.

His mouth came down on mine and his fingers reached up to my stomach. I was wearing a t-shirt and no doubt the tips of my breasts were so hard he could feel them on him. I moved my chest up to reach his. From his throat came a gurgling sound, and his eyes flickered. He moaned again and began exploring me some more. He put his hands under my top and gently slithered them across my midriff. I crammed my mouth against the base of his neck, and breathed in the scent of him. I plastered hot salty kisses on his neck and cheeks, before starting on his chest. Dimitri moaned and I began to kiss further down his chest.

Dimitri tensed and I froze on the spot. I couldn't look up at him. I was afraid he would walk away from me again because I wasn't worth it.

"Rose..."

I didn't look up at him but answered, "Yeah..."

"I have got to go." His voice was hard and solid.

I removed myself off him and walked over towards my bed. He didn't look at me and stared straight ahead.

"Did I do something wrong?" I croaked out.

He didn't answer but stood up and walked toward the door.

"Dimitri," I cried.

His hand was on the door handle but he turned his body to look at me. His face was like a mask. I was unable to read him and I was scared he was walking away from me... for good.

"Don't be late for the test." There was no emotion in his voice.

I couldn't let him walk away from me, so I grabbed his arm with all my force and pulled him around.

"You can't leave you like this," I cried. "You owe me an explanation at least."

He turned his face away and looked at the back wall.

"Look at me," I said. "Look at me, Dimitri." There was no kindness in my voice.

He turned his head and looked down at me.

"Why do you keep walking away from me?"

He didn't answer the question; however he did keep looking at me.

"Answer me, damn it." I shoved him backwards from his chest.

It was that moment; he looked down and noticed he didn't put his shirt back on. I stalked my way over to my bed where I threw his shirt.

"Take your fucking shirt and don't fucking come near me," I yelled and threw the shirt at his face.

He caught the shirt in his hands. His body was shaking and he was staring at me with furious eyes.

"Go! Get out now!" I yelled and shoved him once more.

Dimitri put on his shirt and left my dorm.

I walked over to my bed and started crying.

I started to feel like I was held prisoner in a black hole, and I couldn't escape. I was so furious and angry. I wanted to punch someone's head in.

I felt useless and unwanted. I didn't understand why Dimitri would push and pull me away, but I had had enough, and I wasn't going to be humiliated in front of him again.