Rating:
This chapter is Rated M.
The reason this chapter is Rated M, is because there are sexual references and sexual scenes.
This chapter doesn't go into too much information about sex, but I'm being cautious.

For the fans who don't want to read Rated M details, I suggest you stop reading when Dimitri says, "Someone is impatience" and continue reading when Rose says "Before what?"

Beta:
Twilighternproud; your my angel on my shoulder.

Authors Notes:
I got a fair few reviews mentioning how much they like the way the story is going.
I am so happy you enjoy the story!
For all the fans who want to know what is happening with Dimitri, well you might like this chapter.
It doesn't tell you what his problem or issue is, but you do see him give hints.
Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer:
The author Richelle Mead owns the Vampire Academy universe. I Want To Experience Love is a Vampire Academy Fan Fiction story and it is not intended to infringe on any copyrights held by Richelle Mead or Razor Bill Company. Richelle Mead is the creator of the Vampire Academy characters, however this story is my original work. Copyright 2010 by xx-RedRoseBlackThorn-xx. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Breaking Through

It was only three days ago, that Lissa told me we were going to Victor Dashkov's Trial. It was the same day I told Dimitri to stay away from me, and take up Tasha's offer. Also the same day Christian and I bonded.

When I asked Lissa what she had done to get permission to Victor's trial, she said she went to speak to head mistress Kirova and didn't even need to beg.

Lissa and I were so excited by the news, that we dragged Christian along with us to tell Eddie. Christian really had no control over the matter, not when there were two hypos, excited, teenage girls, laughing and dragging him along. It was hard to convince Albert to bring Eddie along since he didn't run into Victor, but finally she gave up and said he could come.

The plane ride so far hasn't been so bad. I have a seat to myself, because Lissa is sitting with Christian and I didn't want to disturb them. Whereas that gave Adrian free excess to speak to me, whenever he wished. Which he did. He leaned over the seat in front of me, talking about what there was at the Royal Court. I didn't mind it, and I wasn't in the mood to argue, so I said 'oh, ah, I see and awesome' to keep him satisfied.

It had also been three days since I'd seen Dimitri, after my hearing test. Call me names for stating the obvious, but I knew he was avoiding running into me, but I didn't know the reason behind it. So I had a fair idea. It was either; because he was hurting too, or because he took my advice and starting leaving me alone before he leaves to go with Tasha.

I don't know when that would be – when he leaves, because he is up at the front of the plane. I guess he still has a duty to for fill, before he leaves.

I'm starting to regret what I said to him. I knew what I said was harsh, but at the time, that's how he made me feel, and I had to let it out. Not talking or seeing him for three days did take its toll. I wanted to see him so I would feel happy and peaceful, but at the same time I wanted to punch and hurt him just as bad.

"... yeah do you think?"

I looked up at Adrian. My bad – I completely shut him out of my mind this time. His gorgeous green eyes looking at me with a strong intensity. It wasn't hard to fall for Adrian's charm and usually I would shrug it off, but since I haven't been with Dimitri, Adrian has been my main comfort for the last two days. He hasn't been pushing to far at all. He just tries to make me laugh and keep my mind from wondering away.

Of course Adrian knew something was going on between me and Dimitri. He could read my aura – our aura, and noticed that I hadn't been speaking to him. Bless Adrian for seeing everything between Dimitri and me. It wouldn't be easy on him. Though I'm sure he cherishes the time he has with me.

"Rose. Are you okay?" Adrian asked again sounding a little worried.

I smiled up at him. He has been my saver these last couple of days. He deserves to be treated better.

"Yeah. I was just thinking. A little tired, you know?"

He seemed to be looking at me very hard, and caused frowning lines to appear of his forehead.

"Not sleeping well? Maybe you could catch up on sleep at the court?"

"And miss looking around the place? No. This will probably be the only time I get to come here. I don't want to miss anything. Beside you made it all sounds amazing."

Adrian gulped down some vodka and added, "there is no point in lying to me Rose. You're aura can tell me a lot of things."

I gave him a reassuring smile, "I'll rest when I get back to the academy. I think it might be the knowledge of facing someone who kidnapped my best friend, and trying to kill her boyfriend. It's not something that happens every day."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to stop it." He stood up and popped out his chest.

I snickered, "you would have saved us all with your alcoholic breath."

Adrian chuckled, but didn't say any more; instead he looked around stopping at the front of the plane. He seemed to be looking at Dimitri. Probably trying to work out his aura as well. I'll have to admit, having that type of ability would be pretty handy.

Wait. Go back to what you were thinking about before Rose. Oh that's it, how did Lissa get Headmistress to give in so easily.

I tapped Adrian on the shoulder and he turned around with a smirk.

"Don't get all joyous." I laughed. "Do you know what changed for us, to be able to come to the Royal Court?"

He gave me a cheeky look and said, "maybe or maybe not."

I rolled my eyes and snickered. All of a sudden I felt a sharp pain in my head. I grabbed my hands and placed them on forehead. It felt as if a strong force was pressed up in my head, and trying to find its way out. I winced in pain, and placed my head against the cold window. I didn't even have time to notice Adrian move to the empty seat beside me.

Adrian grabbed my hand and asked, "Rose sweetheart, please tell me what's wrong?"

"I have a bad headache. It just came all of a sudden. Can you -" I couldn't finish the sentence before I let out a small scream. My vision was getting blurry, and I saw shadows all around the place.

"Rose. What is happening? Adrian, what is going on?" Alberta came over concerned.

"She was talking like normal, and then she lapsed into pain holding her head. She said something about having a bad headache." He lent forward and lowered his voice, "between you and me, her aura isn't right either."

Alberta asked the hostess if she could grab me some water and headache pills. I took the pills and laid my head back again the window. The window was cold and was cooling my body down. Lissa came to sit beside me and frowned. She was feeling really concerned about me.

"May I?" She asked and placed her hand on my forehead. I knew what she wanted to try. She wanted to heal me. Lissa stopped and looked at me shocked. "Any different?"

I rubbed her arm and said, "I'm sorry Lissa, I still have a headache. I'll be alright though, I just need to rest."

"Let me try again," she smiled and placed her hand to my forehead once more.

She tried again and I felt myself feeling quite sick. I groaned and placed my head back on the plane window. Lissa eyes widen and she felt incapable.

"Lissa it's ok, really. Maybe it's because you have been using your power to much lately. Maybe you just need to rest, just like what I need.

She wasn't going to give up, but thought about what I said. Finally she nodded and walked back over to Christian, who was still looking at me concerned. I gave him a small smile and shut my eyes.

I woke up to a soft arm tugging my shirt. I turned my head and saw Eddie with a smile on his face.

"Wipe that smile off your face," I teased.

He laughed and said, "The plane is just about to land Rose. I wanted to wake you up so you don't miss the sight."

My head shot up and I half yelled, "What sight?" I only just woke up... give me some credit. I barely remembered why I was on a plane.

"The Royal Court." Eddie pointed out my window. "It's a beautiful sight. Check out those guarding towers." I could hear real enthusiasm in his voice. I was glad we were able to bring Eddie along; it wouldn't have been the same without him.

Everyone was looking out their windows and pointing to different buildings in the estate. The Court did look fantastic. Anyone who was able to live here seemed to have a pretty nice lifestyle.

We were able to exit the plane and grab our luggage, before heading into the reception building. Alberta gave us a speech, about showing our best behaviour and to take the opportunity to look around and see how things are ran, without making a nuisance of ourselves. She said to make sure to get rest tonight, because tomorrow would be the trial and it might take all day if necessary.

Alberta spoke to the receptionist while Stan handed us our room keys. He walked over to Christian and gave him the keys. "Ozera you will be sharing with Castile in room 546." He pulled the keys away from Christian's hand before giving them back to him. It wasn't a funny joke, but Stan seemed to think so.

He walked over to Lissa and gave her a small smile, "Princess Dragomir your room is 541." He looked up to a smiling Adrian and said, "you know where you are staying. I suggest you notify the Queen of your presence." Adrian nodded and walked through a set of doors. "Hathaway." I looked up and smiled. "Here is you key. Your room is number 601."

I gave him a mean look, "Why is my room so far away from the others?"

"Because Hathaway, these were the only rooms available." He turned away, but I wasn't finished.

"Well than I'll just share with Lissa. There shouldn't be any problem."

He turned around and stepped in my bubble. "That is not permitted. You are to do as you're told, if you do not like the arrangements, then we won't have any trouble flying you back to the academy."

Stan knew that he had won because I didn't reply. I knew I would be sent back to the academy; even the Queen would have no worries with me away from Lissa.

Stan added, "Is that what you want?"

I was going to say my answer when Dimitri interrupted. "I believe Rose understands the rules Alto." His voice had a dark tone. He was probably still reeling.

Stan stared at Dimitri and Dimitri did not back down. I didn't want him to come in to rescue me, I could do it myself, but I was glad Stan had someone else on his mind at the moment. Alberta didn't notice the tension, because she was still in a deep conversation with the receptionist. Lissa gave me a worried looked, and I pulled her to walk over to Christian and Eddie.

"That's some tense shit." Christian glared in Dimitri and Stan direction.

"I know. I can't believe my room is so far away." I scowled.

"I'm pretty sure we can still hang out it each other's rooms." Lissa stated. "Adrian told me on the plane that the court does not have the same rules as the Academy. Here you get treated as Adults no matter what age, so we have no curfew."

"What's going on with Belikov, Rose?" Eddie asked quietly.

I froze as Eddie said his name. I managed to stumble, "nothing is wrong with him."

"I'm not saying he is a social butterfly every day, but he usually isn't as badass as he is these last few days," Eddie shrugged and shifted on his feet.

"Dimitri is always badass." I mumbled. So Dimitri and I weren't on speaking terms or even good terms, but I wasn't going to down grade him. He was still my badass, well until he... leaves.

The conversation was shut down; when Alberta embraced us with her presence again, and said it was time for us to go to our rooms. I said goodbye to the gang and took one of the eight elevators.

The court was well looked after. It had an ancient feel to the outside, because the buildings were so old, but inside it was modern, and looked spectacular. The court had all the stores you could need and a beautiful maze at the back of the buildings.

The residential area was built up in all different density. There were: small cottages with lovely gardens, houses with pools and a motel for all the visitors and guest. The motel was huge. It had just over 1000 rooms and I was staying on the 15th level.

The elevators stopped on level 8, and the doors opened to a guy I did not want to be in a confined area with. Dimitri looked at me and turned around to walk to another elevator.

"Dimitri." I stumbled. "Please don't feel like you have to take another elevator. This one can take us both."

He stopped but didn't turn around to speak, "It's no trouble." He started to walk away.

"Dimitri." I yelled. "Please, its fine."

He turned around and entered the elevator. He pushed the button for level 20.

"Wow. You're going to get a great view." I was surprised Dimitri was able to get a room at that high of a level.

Dimitri just nodded and looked to the ground. I took his response as he hasn't forgotten about our situation. I know I didn't either, but it wasn't like we were able to come to the Royal Court every day. So I wanted to remember this time being happy not sulking over a relationship. Well if you called Dimitri and I having a relationship.

The elevator came to a stop on my floor. Before I exited I said, "well here's my stop." Yep, I know... its lame. But you can understand how difficult this moment was for me. "I'll see you around." He nodded once more and I stepped out of the elevator. Before the doors could close, I put my hand through to stop them.

Dimitri looked at me with confusion. I stepped back into the elevator and said, "I can't do this. I just can't keep pretending you're not here, because you are. I can't keep staying mad at you, because the more I do, it hurts." I can't believe I just blurted out my heart.

"You don't deserve me Rose." He whispered and there he goes again blocking me out. I knew something was going on with him, but I thought he trusted me to tell me.

"I do deserve you, Dimitri." I grabbed his hand. "I trust you so much. Don't you trust me?" My voice was shaking from the rejection I was sure to receive.

He looked at me for what seemed like forever when he finally said, "I do trust you, but you shouldn't trust me." He pulled his hand away, and looked up at the number of level we were on.

The number flicked from level 17 to 18. Not long before Dimitri had the chance to walk away from me... again.

"Why?" I shrieked. "Just tell me why." I begged.

Dimitri shook his head and whispered, "I can't."

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath and blew it out. "I don't – I don't want you to walk away from me. Not again. I just -"

"I don't mean to walk away and hurt you Roza. It's not something I have control over." The elevator stopped and Dimitri walked out.

"Dimitri." I cried.

He turned around with watery eyes. The first time in so long, I saw a healthy emotion came from him. Why did I feel this affected him as much as it affected me? He looked at me frozen in the corner of the elevator, and held out a hand. I grabbed it and he pulled me closer to him, smelling my hair and sighing.

I moved my hands around his back and pulled him closer; he murmured my Russian name, "Roza." He moved his arms from around me and placed his hand on the small of my back and led me to his room.

He opened the door and led me in. His view from the window was amazing. I felt his hand intertwine with mine and I turned around with a smile on my face.

"Would you like anything?" He asked.

I shook my head and rested my head on his chest. "You didn't have to bring me up to your room."

He stroked my hair and said, "We else could we be alone together." My heart sunk. Dimitri knew how to rip and heal my heart.

"My room." I teased.

He pulled away and I groaned. "Come back."

He chuckled and pulled off his shoes. "Someone is impatience."

I nodded and he leaned down for me to kiss his delectable lips. When I pulled back his eyes were sparkling, but I don't know if it was lust or anger. I wrapped my arms around his neck and got on my tip toes, crushing my lips to his. My eyes widened in momentary shock, because he was in it as much as I was. Before I closed my eyes, I deepened the kiss. Dimitri moaned in my mouth, sending a jolt of desire throughout my body. He moved and pushed me against the wall, covering my body with his entirely.

I moaned as he lifted me up. We broke our kiss, gasping for air, gazing in each other's eyes. Words weren't needed, we knew what we both wanted and he moved his lips to my neck. I couldn't help but gasped as he gently nibbled the curve of my jaw, pushing his hips against my pelvis.

"Roza…" he breathed, sending a shiver down my spine, and making me push my body on his harder. My hands went to the hem of his shirt, and moved it up. He had to set me on my feet to be able to pull it over his head.

My lips found his bare chest, kissing a path down and adding tongue.

"Roza..." He breathed again and he pulled my face up to his. "Maybe that's enough."

I pouted and traced his chest. "I thought you wanted this."

He kissed my lips and said, "I do want this but -"

"Now isn't the time." I interrupted. I was getting sick of hearing that.

So I unbuttoned his pants and pulled the zipper down and I felt my underwear get wet. His hands smacked against the wall as I struggled to maintain upright.

"Every time we get close..." I kissed his neck, "you stop us going further..." I trailed the wet kisses down his chest. "or you freeze and storm off." I looked him in the eyes and gave him a passionate kiss. I felt his shiver under me and I hoped I was doing everything right. It's not like I was gotten this far before, and I didn't want to embarrass myself, however he didn't seem to be pulling away by my touch.

"I know. That's why we should stop now before -"

My hands were shaking yet determined, as I pulled his pants down, leaving him completely exposed in his boxers.

"Before what?" I purred beside his ear.

He was shaking and didn't respond verbally. However he did respond physically, and kissed me deep and hard. He pulled away and sat on the bed. I froze against the wall, looking at him.

"Before I have to stop again." He finished. He looked up at me with an upset body language. "I promise it's nothing you did wrong Roza."

"Why do you stop?" I asked shaken.

He pulled me towards him and pushed me to lie down on the bed. He kissed my forehead before speaking.

"I want to go further with you, but I – I can't." He looked ashamed.

I cupped his face and made him look me in the eyes before I spoke, "will you explain it to me."

He sighed and said, "In due time."

Well that was something, but I didn't want in due time I wanted it now. But for him to want to stop every time we got closer, and taken all our clothes off, meant it must be serious.

"Listen Dimitri about the other day -"

He placed a finger on my lips, "Don't worry about it. I deserved it all."

"No. No you didn't. I was angry and hurt and it all just fell out of my mouth."

"Even though we say things when we are angry that we don't truly mean, there is always some truth behind it." He said, while caressing my arm.

I bit my lip and said, "well all the mean stuff was a lie. I just wanted to hurt you, because you really hurt me, but... the stuff about Tasha was sort of the truth." I looked around because I didn't want to see his expression.

"I understand." I could hear he was angry.

"I know I'm the one that always go on about sorting thing out, but I want to have a good time hear at the court, if I can."

He smiled up at me and said, "I agree. But how did you get your way into them bringing you here?"

I frowned and whispered, "Adrian." It was all I had to say for Dimitri to understand and get irritated.

I pulled him down for a kiss, "You don't need to worry. I haven't even let Adrian near my body." and I winked at him.

He growled and sucked my neck. My eyes rolled back in my head, as he softly stroked my thighs upwards, until he grasped the top of my jeans. I groaned, when he swirled his tongue around me just above my breasts where my shirt ended. He pulled me up and crashed me into the wall. I moaned once more, and his fist pounded the wall as his other hand slid to the back of my head, treading his fingers in my soft hair.

I kissed his chest and he moaned against my neck. I pulled him tighter towards me and he moved away. I knew then that he had as enough for now.

"I think you marked the wall." I giggled.

He looked behind me and before I knew it I was laying on the bed beside him. He kept kissing my lips, chin, neck and collarbone during our discussion about Victor's trial tomorrow. He was trying to reassure me that everything was going to be alright. He did end up convincing me, but most of the time his was kissing me; I was hoping I would be able to go all the way with him. He was making me feel horny.