Rating:
This chapter is Rated M.
The reason this chapter is Rated M, is because there are sexual references and sexual scenes.
This chapter doesn't go into too much information about sex, but I'm being cautious.

For the fans who don't want to read Rated M details, I suggest you stop reading when Christian says, "Well I'm here now," and continue reading when Christian says "Lissa."

Beta:
Twilighternproud; you are no devil.

Authors Notes:
I'm very grateful with how well this story has taken off with my fans!
And I must tell you... you're not going to want to miss chapter thirteen!
Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer:
The author Richelle Mead owns the Vampire Academy universe. I Want To Experience Love is a Vampire Academy Fan Fiction story and it is not intended to infringe on any copyrights held by Richelle Mead or Razor Bill Company. Richelle Mead is the creator of the Vampire Academy characters, however this story is my original work. Copyright 2010 by xx-RedRoseBlackThorn-xx. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Shaken Up

Knock, Knock, Knock.

Please... please... go away. I need some beauty sleep, you may not think so but I do. The knocking did stop, but I saw a letter get slid under my door. Hmm, I wonder what that could be about.

I fell out of bed and grabbed the letter. It was in a gold envelope, address to me in Chancery writing. I stared at it for a while. Who would give me a letter and who knew I was here? Even more interesting, why was it in a fancy gold envelope. Maybe I should read it after Victor's trial today? No Rose, what if it's important now. But what if it's something I don't want to think about until later. Ugh.

My finger traced the outline of the envelope and tore it open.

Rosemarie,

How nice of you to join me at my trial today. It brings warmth to my heart, to know you are thinking about me... and Vasilisa.

How is she by the way? Hope she is all well and showing everyone what a unique spirit user she could be. I'm sure one day she will rule. Rule the world is something we have all be waiting for. You may not think it now, Rosemarie... but you know as well as I do, that she has the power for people to listen and follow her.

Something I was trying to lead myself... but I was put here... in jail. She is doing no more and no less of what I was trying to lead. You will learn my dear child, in time you will see the world as I have learnt to see it.

Just remember the more Vasilisa uses her abilities and gain new ones, you will have the darkness follow you. There is no escaping what the future holds.

Dimitri has turned you into a fine guardian, and I have no doubt in your abilities to do some real harm, when you are released into the real world. How are you and Dimitri? Are you able to admit your feelings for each other yet? Or have you realised that your school girl crush is getting a bit old, and he is ready to move on in his life.

From what I have heard, you and he have had a rough couple of months. I'm sorry to hear about your dear friend. It was a tragic death. As for Dimitri, I heard he had a new woman in his life. Good for him. It's about time he moved on in his life and realised there is no future for you both together.

I understand this must be hard on you, but you will realise outside the academy is a whole new world. One you will soon be able to see.

I hope to be seeing you soon in the near future. As I am no more held prisoner in the royal court. You may go down to my cell and see for yourself... there will be something waiting for you.

Regards

Prince Victor Dashkov

P.S.

You will be meeting me again shortly. Until then, stay safe from the darkness... if you can!

Was I dreaming? I just had a letter from Victor Dashkov, and he still had the nerve to use his royal title, even though it was striped from his name.

Victor Dashkov was free. He escaped the royal court and its guardians. How is that even possible? Oh god. What if he captured the others? What about Lissa?

I fell onto the bed and slipped into Lissa mind.

"Everything will be alright," Christian told her.

"I wish I didn't have to see him Christian," Lissa sniffed.

"I know sweetheart, but just think about the good outcome." I could see Christian was doing his very best to support Lissa throughout this tough time.

"What if... what if they don't find him guilty?" Lissa laid her head on Christian's chest, and slowly sobbed.

"Oh baby, they will find him guilty. We have all the evidence they need. He will be put away for good." Christian bent down to kiss me on the top of my head. I mean. On the top of Lissa head.

"Just seeing his face..."

"It will be a shock to start off with. None of us want to see that horrible man, but I know you, and you are strong. You will be able to look at him with pride, because you are doing something right and protecting yourself."

Lissa nodded and I felt anger, hate, nervous, regret and disgrace. She was looking up at Christian on her elbows, and kissed his chin. He smiled his heart warming smile, and pulled her further up to him, so she was eye to eye with him.

"I know you can do this. You're strong, independent, courageous and fulfilling. The more reason why I love you."

"I love you too Christian. This is the happiest I have been in such a long time. Without you and I don't know what I'll be doing."

Christian moved a strain of hair behind her ear. "You would be doing what you are doing now, just without me," he smirked. "Rose would have made sure about that."

"I'm not saying Rose doesn't make my life happy, because she does. She is my sister and my best friend, but there was also something else missing from my life and it was" Lissa poked his nose. "You."

"Well I'm here now." Christian said seductively.

My lips were on his lips and there was a fire lit in between. It was so hard not to think about it. His lips on mine felt so good, so warm and so right.

Christian's finger tips traced the bottom of my shirt, and then I felt him slowly slid them up to my breasts. Both of his hands were playing with one each, it felt like heaven. I moaned and pulled his shirt off. Man, he knew how to turn me on. I kissed all over his chest and he let out a moan.

The next thing I knew, he had pulled my shirt off as well, and grabbed my hips with his muscular hands. We were looking into to each others eyes when he moved down below me, and bit my nipple. He bit threw my lace blue bra but the sensation still felt amazing. I squirmed and he laughed and pulled my lips to his.

I pulled away saying, "do you think we will be together forever"

He looked at me intensely and kissed me once more. "Until death brings as apart, but even then we will be together where ever our souls go. Why do you have doubts?"

I shook my head and started undoing the buttons on his pants. "I just want to feel this forever and only with you."

"And how do you feel?" He asked while unclasping my bra.

"I feel high with ecstasy." He moved his mouth to my breast and started to suck. "I feel sexy and -" His hand playing with my other breast. "... and wanted." I groaned and pulled him away. I couldn't concentrate when he was making me moan with pleasure.

He smiled and said, "I feel the same babe." He trailed kisses from my neck all the way up to my mouth. His tongue licked my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth for him to enter. Our tongues lapping each other.

He pulled away and said, "now if you don't mind, make love to me before I go insane here."

"With pleasure."

I pulled his pants down and wet kissed his torso. He growled and pulled my pants straight off. I guess he wasn't in the mood to play around at all.

Christian was now only wearing boxers and me in my lace underwear. They matched my lace blue bra I had on, before he took it off.

I started to rub his growing erection and kissed his neck. He rolled me over and pulled off my underwear. He looked up at me asking for permission and I nodded. He was too impatient to wait for me to take his boxers off, so he went to take them off instead. I held his hands in place and wiggled underneath him. I knew it would drive him crazy, and I could feel his erection rubbing onto my core.

Christian groaned and whined, "Lissa."

I froze with my eyes wide and said, "What did he call me?"

Lissa laughed and pulled off his pants.

Oh my god. I was Lissa. Oh my god. I was just about to have sex with Christian. Oh my god. I got felt up by Christian.

This isn't right. I need to get out of her mind.

Christian kissed Lissa and then he entered her. She moaned and they starting to move up and down in synchronisation.

Why does she keep bring into her mind when she is fucking off. This is disguising... it's like free porn. But no good porn, because it is my BEST FRIEND!

I closed my eyes and reopened them. I gave a sigh of relief when I was staring at my bedroom wall.

Nearly having sex with Christian was something I did not want to experience. Lissa's emotions were becoming too powerful for me to relax. She pulls me in when it's not necessary, and if she knew I was spying on her...

Maybe that's what Victor meant in his letter. Lissa powers were taking over in me, and I wasn't able to keep it away.

I shivered, remembering that Victor was free and able to continue his evil ways. Going back to where my point was before, Lissa and Christian were safe. Now it's time to check up on Eddie and Adrian.

I went for a quick shower, and pull my hair up into a messy bun. Now, was not the time to look neat and professional, especially since Victor was gone? I wondered who else knew. I mean he can't of escaped without anyone knowing. That was impossible. Well someone escaping the prison sounded impossible, but I guess it is possible. Victor could not have escaped without guardians knowing. So that means he has people still working for him. Should I notify someone? But if I did they would want to know how I knew, and I don't want to go into details with anyone. Not when they would want to see the letter, and then it will have information about Dimitri and me.

I locked the door behind me and starting walking toward Eddie's room. I knew he would be by himself, because Christian was in Lissa room.

Walking towards the elevator on my floor, I pushed the button and the door opened straight away. Dimitri walked out and pulled me aside.

"There's something serious I need to talk to you about," he was in guardian mode.

"I know. I have something to tell you as well."

"Can we... talk somewhere private? Your room?"

I nodded and we walked back to my room. I didn't have time to take a breath, before he went into detail.

"I'm sorry Rose, but Victor Dashkov is missing. He escaped. We have everyone on it at this very moment." He looked so deadly it was quite scary.

"I know. He told me." Dimitri lifted his eyebrow. "Well not personally, but in a letter." I went over to my desk and handed him the letter. "It pretty much says it all."

He stared at me to read my expression, and opened the letter. His face stayed the same mostly throughout the letter, except for the times his face looked like hurt, then straight back to being angry.

He closed the letter and took a deep breath. He looked at me and said, "how do you feel?"

"I'm going through a lot of emotions at the moment. Don't ask. But Lissa and Christian are safe. I was just going to check on Eddie and Adrian, before I bumped into you." I bit my bottom lip.

"They are safe. Adrian is with our highness and Eddie is working with Alberta."

I nodded and sat down. I had a major information overload and started to feel sick.

Dimitri opened his mouth to say something then stopped. He looked around and said, "I was coming to check on you."

"I'm safe comrade. Just worried."

"I needed to see you Rose," he whispered.

I held out my hand and he took it in his.

"I'm here. What did you want to talk about?"

He shook his head and sat beside me.

"No Roza. I was so worried about you; I came straight here before checking on my Moroi, Lissa."

"Oh." I looked away. This was exactly what he didn't want to happen. I had a feeling we were going to talk about this later.

He pulled my face to his and kissed me. "I was scared Roza. For the first time in a long time, I was scared."

"I didn't want to scare you," I barely made audible.

He kissed me again, this time with more passion. I placed my arms around his back and pulled him closer, while his hands were in my hair. His tongue tracing my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth giving him access.

His lips were rough and slightly demanding against my own, which were equally as forceful, as my hands wound themselves to his messy pony tail and pulled his hair tie out, leaving his hair to fall down into place. I let out a moan, as his lips broke away and started trailing down to my neck and collarbone.

His lips swept back onto mine, as his hands travelled down my back to cup my ass. I tore myself away and pulled his head down further to me to brush his face with kisses.

"Roza," he murmured.

I knew it was getting too much for him and I reluctantly pulled away from his lips. Our foreheads were leaning against each other, with both of as panting.

"Let me guess. You have to go back down to the incident and help work out the breakout." I managed to speak without deep breathing.

He rubbed my cheek with his thumb pad and said, "we are going to work out the breakout."

I looked at him surprised, "I get to come?"

He chuckled and rubbed my leg. "Alberta said it would be good experience, if you and Eddie check out the area. Don't get too excited though. They won't let you get too involved; it's up to the investigators."

"Investigators? Not you?"

"Yes, they are picked to go around the world for situations like this. Lucky for us they were only four hours away, and came here straight away. We are quite lucky."

I frowned and shook my head. They were four hours away and I only just received the letter.

Dimitri pushed on my frown line, and hugged me tight to his chest. "It's said that he escaped about seven hours ago."

"But – I only just received my letter. That means someone here knows something."

"Or someone else gave it to them, to give to you, and they have no clue. This is Victor we are talking about Rose, he had planned it all."

I pulled away and said, "but Lissa and Christian don't know about it. Oh my god. What are we going to say to her?"

I started shaking and tears started to form in my eyes. Victor was loose and that meant he was able to control mine and my friends lives, and I had no control over it. Lissa was going to be hurt and stressed something I never should have to see.

Dimitri moved closer to me, he had his hand in my hair, and his lips were gently touching mine, "shh... it's alright Rose. We will sort it out. Alberta wants to keep it sealed away for now, until we know more to tell."

"What does the Queen want us to do?" I stuttered.

"She would prefer it be quiet at the moment, until we have enough correct theories and evidence to tell the Moroi and Dhampir world."

Tears were falling from my eyes, and Dimitri was wiping them away.

"Can we just stay here for a while?" I knew he would say no and stay in guardian mode, but he surprised me with his answer.

"As long as you need Roza. She isn't expecting us anytime soon," he whispered beside my ear.

"I want you." I said it plain and clear and I did want him. I've wanted him for so long.

"Roza..."

I managed to get a sentence out in between my sobs, "Please Dimitri. I need you so much."

Dimitri sighed and kissed me with full force.

After pulling away he said, "I can't. You must understand that."

"I can't understand because I don't know the reason. All I feel from you is one minute you want me, and the next you don't. You're hot and cold and I don't have a reason why."

"I want you Roza. I've always wanted you, but something's can't be force." He seemed angry with himself.

"It's because I'm not eighteen yet isn't it, because in a couple of days it's my birthday and -"

He kissed me and stopped me from talking. "No Rose, it isn't because of your age. I know the age difference and I know your maturity level. I'm past that. I've realised that you're one of the most important people in my life, and nothing should stop us being together."

"Then why can't we be together, Dimitri. I just want this to all stop. I want to be with you!"

"I've told you. You have graduation, and I have got to sort out Lissa." He started rubbing the back of my hands.

"Why won't you let us get physical? Is it... me?"

"Oh god no Rose. Don't ever think that. It's something I haven't been able to deal with. It has got nothing to do with you. I promise my sweet, sweet beautiful girl." And with the last sentence he bent down and gave me a chaste kiss.

"You're sweet beautiful girl? Are you implying I'm your girl?" I asked seductively.

"I sure hope your mine. I don't want to share you with anyone else."

"So if I'm your girl then you must be my boy?"

He laughed and kissed me from my neck all the way up to my forehead, "Yes."

"My handsome badass boy." I moved my hand to cup his ass and he jolted. I bet he wasn't expecting that.

"Badass?" He asked amused.

"Uh huh."

"Rose, I don't know why you seem to think that I'm this perfect bad ass-" He seemed to be thinking. "- God. But I'm far from that. You'll see."

"You are, in my eyes." I winked and continued, "how did you know about god? Dimitri... did you hear me back in training?"

"I might have pretended I didn't hear it."

I gave him a punch on is arm and he pretended that it hurt.

I remembered the reason Dimitri came to see me and I said, "I guess we better head off."

"Are you sure? We can wait until you're ready." His tone was warning.

"I'll never be ready. But I'll be okay if I'm with you." He squeezed my hand and nodded his head once.

"I'm sorry."

I looked at him like I was a kinder garden student looking for an explanation. "It's hardly your fault Dimitri. It's not like you went down there and let him get loose."

"That's not what I'm sorry for."

I bit my bottom lip and waited for him to continue. Which he in end, nearly made my lips bleed because I was biting it so hard.

"I'm sorry about everything. Not talking to you. Secrets about Victor Dashkov. The way I have been acting towards you. Things between Tasha Oze-" Dimitri stopped when he saw my face light with anger after saying her name.

"Don't be sorry. It takes two to tango." I held up two fingers.

"It does take two to... tango." He laughed at my metaphor. "But you have been trying, and I have been backing away. I promise you once this is all over... I will explain."

"You will explain everything?" I tried to lift one of my eyebrows like him but didn't have any luck.

"Roza... that will take time. It's hardly a secret. It's just me, but I will talk to you about everything else."

He knew I was talking about sex, but talking to me about everything else seemed like a good way to start bonding with each other again.

"Sounds good to me, Comrade." I intertwined our fingers.

"Excellent, shall we make it a date?" He had one of his beautiful smirks playing on his lips.

"We shall," I sang and he twirled me around twice before holding me in his arms.

He kissed the top of my head and a moaned. "You're the best thing that has happened to me Roza."

"I would say the same to you, but you're the only best thing that has happened to me."

He opened his mouth in mocking shock and pulled me away to look at his face fully while he said, "even beating Lissa?"

"Lissa is my sister. She is my family. But she doesn't give me all of what I can hold on to, and you do. You're my other half. You understand me more then I understand myself."

"I know what you mean." He bent down and gave me a slow wonderful kiss.