AN: Yeah, I had my science GCSE today so I thought I'd write this 'cause it's fun to write (well, type really but hey, at least I'm doing it.) I actually planned this one night (I'm not quite all there right now, I'm shattered), I don't quite know which one, when I couldn't sleep. So I thought, why not start writing it now?
WARNING: There's a little bit of Murtagh angst at the beginning of this chapter but it does get funnier in the second section. Note: there's NO slash whatsoever in this story.
Disclaimer: I am not CP so I don't own Eragon or Eldest. Be assured that if I ever do own the inheritance trilogy, I will let you know.
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Murtagh ran, tears prickling at his eyes, up to his room, which was semi-shared with Eragon. Well, Eragon's stuff really. The excuse for leaving it in his old room was that he didn't want Murtagh to get lonely but Murtagh strongly suspected that he just didn't want Arya to get her mitts on it.
None of them cared.
Murtagh had practically been having a breakdown on the floor and not one of them cared. None of them even asked him what was wrong or patted his back or offered a sympathetic smile.
Eragon had been too busy being strangled by Selena, his own mother, who hadn't even noticed. Arya had been more interested in inspecting her caravan, while Orik had fainted and Morzan thought this was all for his son's benefit anyway. Brom and Galbatorix had been too involved in their own battle, involving shoes and teeth.
No-one cared about him.
He collapsed onto his bed and sobbed, pulling his rusty arrow from its hiding place under his pillow. It had been in the shed where it was hidden by Selena to prevent any suicide attempts by Murtagh.
Well she's failed! he thought.
Thorn responded. Who has?
Murtagh ignored him, sobbing furiously and hugging the arrow close to his chest. Oh it was alright now. It was fine when Thorn wanted something but not when Murtagh did. Thorn wasn't there when Murtagh needed him.
Thorn was never there. He wasn't there when Murtagh was slitting his wrists; it had been Eragon who saved him. Thorn wasn't even there earlier; Eragon had saved him from Morzan's lecture. In fact, the red dragon had told him that he wouldn't care if Murtagh died and ignored him.
Perhaps Eragon would care.
Murtagh held the arrow close but did not harm himself with it. Perhaps Eragon would save him this time. Perhaps his brother would come as soon as Selena released him. Murtagh just had to give him time.
He just sobbed and waited, stretched out on the bed, waiting and sobbing, sobbing and waiting until finally, as he was just working up the energy to drive the arrow through his heart, there was a knock at his door.
Eragon?
Again, Thorn responded but Murtagh ignored it. What about him?
"Go away!" Murtagh called without thinking, marvelling at how feeble his voice sounded.
"Murtagh, can I come in?" It was definitely Eragon.
Hope welled up inside Murtagh at this revelation. Perhaps he did care. Someone cared!
"No." He answered sulkily. As long as someone cared, he wouldn't kill himself. Not just yet.
"Please? Taggy?" Eragon pleaded
Murtagh snapped, "Don't call me that!" If Thorn got wind of that nickname, he might decide to copy it. Even 'mini emo one' was better than 'Taggy'. If that ever got out in the open, Murtagh would die of embarrassment.
"Okay," Eragon replied from the other side of the door, which actually had no lock on it so Eragon could have just walked straight through it. "Murty?"
"Don't call me that either!" Murtagh commanded. Sure, it was better than 'Taggy' but that didn't mean he had to like it. "My name's Murtagh. Mur. Tagh. Murtagh." A muffled sob escaped him. Why couldn't Eragon just come it and comfort him? His life was practically ruined.
"Can I come in please, Murtagh?" Eragon asked.
"Why?" Murtagh questioned.
Eragon took a deep breath – Murtagh could hear it on the other side of the door – and his brother knew he was probably grinning like an idiot.
Which he is. But he wouldn't be half as great at being a brother if he wasn't.
This time Thorn didn't reply. Great, now his dragon had given up on him too. Eragon did though.
"I'm moving into the caravan with Arya and I need some clean underpants. All the ones I had in Arya's room are in the wash."
Murtagh's hope disappeared; he rolled over, still hugging the arrow, to face the wall, racked with silent sobs. "Come in then," he managed to choke out, feebly.
He doesn't care. No-one cares. Not one of them gives a toss about me.
Through these thoughts, he heard Eragon closing the door behind him and padding over to the chest of draws. He heard his brother open the draw but it didn't close. Instead, there was a question.
"Murtagh? Are you all right?"
No. No I'm not.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Why do you care anyway?
"Oh," Eragon replied, quietly as the rummaging noise continued.
For a moment, the rummaging was all that could be hear. Then Eragon called, tentatively, "Murtagh?"
"What?" Murtagh snapped, turning his head to face his brother, his tears, though still flowing hotly down his face, forgotten.
"Are you sure you're all right?" the blue rider enquired, studying the red face of the red rider.
No!
"Yes!" Murtagh hissed.
"Murtagh," Eragon informed. "I think you have an eyeball problem; your eyes are leaking all down your face. You should get it checked out; it could be serious. Does it hurt?"
Yes! I am hurt! And it's partially your fault! Now get out of my room so I can kill myself in peace! You owe me that much!
"No. Now go away, Eragon."
Eragon walked away but stopped before he could open the door. His eyes widened. "Murtagh!" he revealed. "You haven't got an eyeball problem!"
"Good," Murtagh muttered, stroking his rusty arrow, which was out of Eragon's view.
Eragon continued, oblivious, "You're crying!"
"Yeah, well done, Vrael!" Murtagh responded as he felt a familiar weight settle on his bed and familiar warmth on his back.
"Why are you crying? Is it the alcohol? I know how bad it feels to have Dad burn something you love. You saved me, remember. Or is it because no-one noticed?" Eragon guessed.
Murtagh sat up, grabbed his brother and sobbed into his shoulder. Eragon stiffened, noticing the arrow.
He gasped, "Murtagh! The tetanus!"
"I had my vaccine when I tried to slit my wrists. You saved me then," Murtagh whimpered but he dropped the rusty arrow on the pillow all the same, feeling Eragon relax a little.
"We do care," he explained. "We just didn't know what to do. I'm sorry."
Murtagh sniffled. "Don't be."
They do care! They care!
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Arya was eating popcorn on the sofa of her caravan. Her caravan. Hers and Eragon's. She could see the great big pile of bottles and cans of alcohol being unloaded out of her window.
She swallowed a handful of popcorn as the door opened to admit the father of her baby and the baby's uncle. Both were smiling but Murtagh's eyes were red and puffy. Arya closed the curtains in what she hoped was an inconspicuous way.
"I told Murtagh he should come and help us pick some baby names," Eragon explained, sitting down at the table with his brother, facing Arya.
Baby names – they'd had that conversation already but they just could not agree.
"If it's a boy," Eragon began. "Can we call him Cadoc, after my grandfather?"
"That's what you named your horse as well," Arya explained patiently. "I'm not having the baby named after a horse! Besides, when you write it, it looks like paddock and that's another reference to horses. So no. Cadoc is counted out.
"Then we aren't calling it Islanzadí either!" Eragon retorted. "If my relatives' names aren't eligible then your relatives' names aren't either!"
Arya raised her eyebrows. "I didn't mean that," she corrected. "Not all your relatives' names are discounted. The others' might be fine."
Murtagh piped up. "Islanzadí is a girl's name; you can't call him that!"
"Murtagh is boy's name." Arya said, simply, "You aren't a boy but you still pull it off."
"Hey!" Murtagh protested.
"You started it!" Arya replied, sticking her tongue out at him. "Anyway, we don't know if the baby's a boy or a girl yet so we've got to chose names for both genders."
Another knock at the door prevented the banter from continuing. A muffled voice was heard through the plastic, or metal, or whatever caravans were made of.
"Eragon! Arya!"
It was Angela. So she was back. Murtagh wondered fleetingly if Thorn had managed to get his revenge on Solembum. Murtagh doubted it because Thorn wasn't a particularly bright individual and Solembum did possess a fully functional brain. Mind you, Thorn was bigger than Solembum; that had to count for something.
"Come in!" Arya shouted at the door. She needn't have bothered; whatever caravan's were made of, it wasn't very thick.
"I've bought you some presents," the witch explained, poking her head round the door. "Not much, but it's some things for the baby that you won't have to purchase." She sighed. "Purchase. I must be getting old; purchase is more of a posh word than a rarely used one. Anyway, they're in the lounge. See what you've got space for and Brom and Morzan will move it in for you." She glanced at Eragon and Murtagh, whose eyes were still a little red-rimmed. Being a perceptive person, she suggested, "Why don't you and Murtagh go for a constitutional in the woodland? You need to conserve your strength, Eragon. You'll be doing most of the work when the child arrives."
Eragon nodded, sliding the popcorn away from Arya as she got up and followed Angela out of the caravan; he didn't want her to take it with her because she'd already eaten most of their popcorn supply and they had owned the caravan for less than a day. With the popcorn hidden, he followed Murtagh outside, past the pile of alcoholic drinks.
Murtagh swallowed, eyes locking on to it. Eragon was busy just enjoying the experience of not being around Arya and her hormones for a while.
A plan formed in Murtagh's mind. "Hey, Eragon!" he called. "Look at that! An eagle!"
The blue rider immediately turned his attention to the sky. "Where? I don't see an eagle. There! Oh wait… that's a cloud. Where is it, Murtagh?"
But Murtagh wasn't there. Murtagh had legged it as soon as Eragon looked upwards and was now guzzling as much alcohol as he could manage before he got spotted, which was a remarkable amount seeing as Eragon was on his way back to the caravan to look for him and no-one else knew he had been outside in the first place.
It was the Morrison's alcohol delivering paramedic who found him, while Morzan was busy ushering everyone outside to witness the destruction of the alcohol – or what was left of it. Eragon, by now, had forgotten about the loss of Murtagh. At least until the Morrison's alcohol delivering paramedic guy, who was sneaking in a quick cigarette behind the alcohol heap on the pretence of dousing the alcohol in petrol, spotted him and yelled.
The cigarette flew out of the Morrison's alcohol delivering paramedic guy's hand and landed on the pile of alcohol.
It erupted in a violent explosion of heat and flames.
Morzan had forgotten that alcohol was flammable.
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AN: Okay, I had actually written most of this chapter last Thursday but I was going out and I was almost late (in fact, I did turn up late) so I had to leave it. Anyway, what did you think to this chapter?
Next Chapter: What happens with the alcohol fire? Will everyone burn to death? Or just Murtagh? Will Morzan lecture the Morrison's alcohol delivering paramedic guy about smoking? Did Thorn get his revenge on Solembum? Is the caravan okay? Read on and find out!
I just want to say, thanks for the reviews! They make all this seem so much more worthwhile and so much fun. Also, I feel so loved! Please keep it up! It's my exam time so my update hasn't been particularly quick but reviews do make me update quicker so if you've read this then please review it!
AdriaDara: Thank you! I'm glad you liked the chairs bit! It just randomly popped into my head. Gah! I have pins-and-needles in my feet and it's making me type funny! Anyway (I just typed anyay! I think I'm definitely hyper. Who knew pins-and-needles could have that effect?) I know what you mean about the exams. I'm doing the 2nd paper of my science GCSE next week. I will try to update soon!
SMARTALIENQT: Thank you! You'll have to wait a bit longer to know the actual name of the baby. I'm not completely sure what it should be myself yet.
xlilypadsx: Thanks! I'm glad you found it funny! Yeah, I've got no idea how I come with all these warped versions of the characters.
Deddy luvs Eragon: Thanks! You'll see what gender the baby is soon.
Sadie193: Yay! The caravan's been underused but it has a big role to play in the next chapter.
StuffRocksInnit: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! Murtagh was in it quite a lot this chapter. The baby will definitely not have a normal name! …But then again, Eragon's not exactly a normal name!
Immortali: Thank you! I'm glad you found it funny. I'm trying to update quickly.
Sukie-san: Thanks! I'm gonna attempt to update as quickly as possible.
Please review :-p