So we all know Cin Drallig, aka "The Troll' aka, "That guy with the lightsaber- yeah, him!" He teaches all of the kids the basics of sparring, etc. Sounds pretty wicked.
However, the most recent polls show that this dashing Master's popularity has plummeted over the last six months. Sixty percent of students claim they would rather be trained by Har Har Sinks, the clumsy gungan Knight. Twenty percent are fonder of Yoda's speech impairments and fancy flips. Fifteen percent voted for other, and the other five percent voted Cin Drallig the best instructor. In last year's polls, his popularity was more than triple what it is today.
What has gone wrong? Why is sparring suddenly the loathing of all his students?
"This year he made us act like real peace keeping warriors. That means no potty breaks or snack time," spills a six year old youngling.
"It may have something to do with the fact that he's single," ponders Siri Tachi. "It does make men grumpy, you know."
"I think it's because he's pretty old, and his arthritic limbs are starting to go," smirks Obi-Wan Kenobi.
"It's 'cause he hates dolphins, isn't it?" Accuses the ever-accusing Bant Eerin.
"Like Kenobi said, he is getting pretty old," mulls Garen Muln. "I bet if a bunch of soldiers led by an ex-Jedi stormed into the Temple, he would be sliced in half like a toothpick!"
"I hear he has changed his teaching style, but when he taught me he let us pick our lightsaber crystal colors," says a former student.
"He has starting assigning homework; lots of it. We have homework out the wazoo! We're always practicing our techniques- but now we must write five page essays!" Fumes Reeft.
"Rumors say he's really a Sith. He wants our Padawans to be completely unprepared," Qui-Gon Jinn reveals.
"It's because kids these days have no respect! They must respect the blade, not treat it like a stick! And color doesn't matter! Neither does a bursting bladder! And what is with all that fancy erratic Juyo/Vaapad junk? No Jedi can expect to fight with that!" Cin himself rants.
There it is! Cin confesses the reason for all his treachery! But he is blaming… the students! No matter how factual he claims his claims to be, he really should examine his own actions.
Dear Tahl,
No comment on my previous requests, hm? A devoted reader, I shall continue to be.
-Yodel
Dear Tahl,
You tabloid has really made our stay in this galaxy worthwhile! Perhaps we shall spare you planet…"
-A Yhuzzan Vong
UP NEXT: Qui-Gon's dirty little secret!
That's it for this issue. Now, I believe the thank yous are in order, 'cause we made it above and beyond 50 reviews! :O Epic.
The 48th reviewer, Metoria; who didn't get any review in the 50s, but is probably the secret to success behind this fic. Well, she's give me a lot of ideas, and I've used most of them, methinks.
Also- Xaja Silversheen- another awesome reviewer- has helped with this fic some! Ayup! Psst… read her sequel to her "Hiccups" fic.
Feeding-the-Wolves-yet another brilliant reviewer, who was also the 50th! (launches fireworks) She is really good with zeh humor fics.
The Tenth Bright Shiner- 51st reviewer- meh. Unless you read the Old Kingdom Trilogy, pay no attention to her. :P
Neptune's Violin- 52nd reviewer- She has good taste in what she reads, no? Expect an article inspired by her a few chapters from now.
That's it. You guys are awesome! And those who have just been lurking and reading this whole time… I watching you. *narrows eyes* Yeah. Go ahead lurking, I don't really care.