Hey people! Guess what? There's a blizzard outside. About 24 inches. I've never seen that much snow in my life; really. Wewt! If this isn't updated in a week or two, you know why.
You've all waited for this day for months. The day when, at last, I have revenge. But more importantly, you have the scoop! I have finally uncovered the biggest scandal of the decade.
But you are probably bursting to know what I could possibly be talking about. What would the great Jedi Qui-Gon Jinn do? The same Qui-Gon Jinn is one of the top candidates for the Jedi Council, a teacher, and a part time model.
Yes; the very same.
Qui-Gon Jinn… wears a thong. I repeat; a thong.
What does the civilized world have to say about this?
"I… really, really didn't need that mental image," Garen Muln whimpers, his eyes glazed in horror.
"Laugh, did you? Wear a thong in my golden days, I did! A sense of pride, it gives," Yoda haughtily informs us.
"My Master… ohforceohforceohforce…" Obi-Wan Kenobi gasps in the middle of a very violent conniption.
"I always knew he was special," Mace cackled evily.
"A thong? Tee hee, ew," Siri giggles.
"Moron," Bant rolls her eyes. "For someone so in touch with the living force, he sure doesn't seem to care about leaving our memories pure and full of happy bunnies. Not full of the whole "Qui-Gon wears a thong" idea."
"Still as creepy as he was at sixteen," Clee Rhara sighs. I still don't know what she was talking about.
"Really, what a strange young man. Maverick indeed," Jocasta Nu remarks in disgust.
There were several other people interviewed, but I couldn't understand a word they said through the hysterical laughter and tears.
Finally, Adi Gallia."And how do you know this, Tahl?"
Funny she should ask that. See, I was selling balloon animals- my part time job. Then this kid walks up to me and demands a bantha. And I'm like, "Look, kid. I do worms. I can make you a worm family, sound good?"
Never underestimate the power of a dozen toddlers. The next thing I know I was bound and gagged, in a bathroom. It felt really hot and steamy…
I realized that someone was in the shower, singing Lady La La's latest song, "Joker Pace." That was… really awkward. Darn kids.
So, I managed to get my hands free. That was a relief. I stood, and that was when I decided to look on the floor…
And there it was. A thong.
The showeree (Yes, it is a real word) had stopped singing. They must have realized I was there. Gathering the shower curtain around himself, Qui-Gon poked his shampooed head out. We both screamed. I took the door off its hinges in my desperation to escape. I later payed for the damage with Qui-Gon's money.
But as I flung the door into the air and ran, Qui-Gon was left 'au naturel' to the outside world.
Really, that's how I know! Ask Jinn if you don't believe me!
Dear Tahl,
Clumsy master, I am Meesa offended!
-Har Har Sinks
Once again, I thank Meteoria for giving me the thong idea, and the idea for how Tahl discovered it.
Psst… before I beg you to review… I beg you to take the poll on my profile. It would really help me out. Kthx.
And now, I beg thee to review? What if I told you that you could win fabulous prizes by doing so?
(Not.)
Anyone who just scrambled to review after reading that sentence fails.