well hello my lovely, lovely readers. :]
sorry to get your hopes up - this is jus' a re-write of chapter eight; i was so unhappy with it, i had no idea how hard it was to write sex scenes.
this isn't exactly hardcore porn but it's a little more lemony - if you all like this version then i'm gunna write the rest of my scenes like this.
oh and a hugehugehuge thank you goes out to my reader who suggested i read 'a new phase of the moon' for inspiration - this is an amazing story, if you haven't read it already i suggest it as your next read. :]
okay, so heres the deal; i have chapter nine ready and waiting - i'll let you guys read this then i'll post chapter nine later on today, okay? :]
then without further ado, chapter eight [ the re-write ]..
I leaned back against the refrigerator, sipping the cup of hot chocolate Angela handed me.
"So," she whispered, leaning over to drop a handful of mini-marshmallows into my cup "How does it feel to be Mrs Jacob Black?"
"I'm not his wife, Ange-"
"You're not his wife yet" Emily teased, winking at me.
"Oh, please don't encourage her, Em" I rolled my eyes, smiling.
"Leave the poor girl alone" Leah chimed in, gracing us with a sweet smile.
"We all know she's as good as his wife now.." Angela grinned, sipping her hot chocolate.
"Don't start planning the wedding just yet, huh?" I smiled, watching Angela's eyes light up.
"Speaking of weddings.." she teased, turning to Emily with an impish grin.
As the conversation drifted towards Emily and Sam's upcoming wedding, I found myself glancing over at Jake. My Jake. He was smiling at Seth, who was telling him a story. The smile I love. I turned back to the girls, now deep in conversation about the type of dress Emily wanted.
"It's Grecian style, ivory with pleated chiffon and tiny pearls" she gushed, grinning at us.
"Oh that sounds so beautiful," Angela gushed "When do we get to see it?"
"That sounds perfect for you, Em" Leah smiled, a genuine smile, for her cousin.
--
I leaned against the wall in the hallway, my stomach tying itself in knots. The party's over.
Angela and Embry were the first to leave, followed by Sam and Quil who were out on the porch discussing tonight's patrol with Jake and Seth, Emily was in the kitchen putting the last of tonight's dishes away.
"What's wrong?" Leah whispered, drying her hands on a towel.
"I'm spending the night at Jake's.." I sighed, looking down at my feet.
"So?" she smiled, throwing the towel onto the laundry basket beside us.
"So," I whispered, my eyes widening "I'm spending the night at Jake's!"
"And.. you're worried about what's gunna happen?" she whispered, glancing back quickly over her shoulder.
"Exactly" I sighed, looking down again.
"Bella, you don't have to do anything you don't wanna do" she smiled, laying her hand on my shoulder.
"But what if he expects-"
"Screw what he expects!" she laughed "You know Jake, he's not like that - he wouldn't make you do anything you didn't wanna do"
"You really think so?" I asked, looking up at her.
"Oh, I know so," she grinned "You're one of the most important things in Jake's life, he's finally got his chance with you - even he's not dumb enough to screw that up now"
"Thank you Leah" I smiled.
"Bells?" Jake called, popping his head around the door "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," I smiled, looking at Leah then back at him "I'm ready"
"I'll get your bag" Leah winked at me, turning into Emily and Sam's bedroom.
"Thank you for tonight, Em," I smiled, crossing the room to hug her "It's been so great"
"Oh, it's no problem Bella" she smiled her sweet smile "You know you're always more than welcome here"
I moved back as Jake swept her up in a hug.
"You take this," she turned, holding out a plate "home for Billy"
"I will, thanks Em" Jake leaned down and kissed her good cheek.
"You want some for Charlie?" she asked, smiling at me.
"Oh, uh, no thanks Em," I stuttered nervously "I'm staying at Jake's tonight so I won't see him.."
"Oh," Emily smiled, "Well you two have a good night then"
"G'night B," Leah smiled, pulling me into a tight hug, then whispered "Don't worry"
"Night Leah" I smiled, hugging her back.
"G'night Jake" she hugged him, dropping the strap of my bag in his open palm.
"Drive carefully Jacob," I heard Emily call as I was buckling myself in.
Leah and Emily stood in the doorway of the house, arms linked, smiling at us.
"I always do" Jake called back, slamming the trunk, causing the Rabbit to rock slightly.
Jake got in, started up the engine and began backing out of the driveway. I rolled my window down, leaned out and waved at the girls.
"I can drive you back to Forks if you-"
"Jake, stop," I smiled at him, rolling my window back up "I'm staying with you tonight"
"Really?" he asked, his voice full of hope.
"Really" I smiled.
I took one last look at the house, Leah whispered something to Emily who turned, grinning and giving us an excited little wave as we drove off.
--
When we pulled up in front of Jake's, he killed the engine.
The house was in complete darkness. Billy must be in bed already.
"Are you sure you wanna stay, Bells?" Jake asked, turning in his seat to face me.
"I'm positive" I smiled at him.
"I'll get your bag then" he suddenly grinned, opening his door and disappearing around to the trunk in a flash.
I carefully lifted Billy's plate from the backseat, balancing it as I opened my door and slid out of my seat.
"Got it," Jake whispered, throwing his right arm around my shoulder "Let's get inside"
I reached up and slotted my fingers between Jake's, gripping hold of his hand, as we walked. I looked up at him and saw those big brown pools staring back at me with so much love.
"Dammit," I cursed as I stumbled, almost dropping Billy's plate.
"I think I'm gunna start calling you Bambi" Jake teased.
"Why?!" I hissed, righting myself.
"You know why" he chuckled, looking at my feet "Gimme this
"Ohshutupjus'causeyou'resogoodwithyourfeet" I muttered, a laugh rumbled through Jake.
It seemed even darker inside the house. Jake grabbed my waist directing me to the kitchen, he took Billy's plate from me and set it on the counter. Without a word, he directed me down the hallway into his bedroom, closing the door behind us and flicking the light on.
I picked my way across his messy bedroom floor to the bed and plopped down on it. Jake dropped my bag on the floor, but hung around the doorway. He smiled at me but it wasn't his smile. He's nervous too.
I smiled back - revelling in the knowledge that sometimes, just sometimes Jacob Black got nervous too - patting the bed beside me.
"Jake," I sighed, once he was sitting "I'm nervous" Well done, Captain Obvious.
"Nervous? About what?" he asked, a tiny glint twinkling in his eyes.
"Nervous about.." I replied, gesturing to the space between us "This.."
"..You're having second thoughts," he sighed, looking away from me "I knew this would happen"
"What? Oh God no, Jake, no" I panicked "That's not what I meant"
He eyed me warily, obviously waiting for me to continue.
"I just meant.. well, I'm not exactly experienced so.." I mumbled, a flush starting to creep over my cheeks.
"And you think I am?" he frowned.
"Well, I mean.. yeah, of course" I mumbled, looking down at the floor.
"What'd you mean of course, Bells?" he asked, putting his forefinger under my chin and titling my head up just a little.
"Well.. you and Cheyenne-"
"Cheyenne? Wait, you think me and Cheyenne.. " he laughed, causing me to stare wide-eyed at him.
"Well, duh" I mumbled bluntly.
"Really?" he said, looking at like I'd just escaped from some asylum.
"Yes really" I snapped, my eyebrows pinching together "So you didn't sleep with her?"
"No"
"But you said she meant nothing"
"Yeah, the kiss - that meant nothing to me" he smiled.
"Well, it didn't look like nothing" I muttered, crossing my arms and looking away from him.
"Give a guy a break, Bells," he sighed "I thought I'd lost you to Edward.. forever, I needed something, anything, to take my mind off you, I thought maybe if I could then maybe I wouldn't drive myself completely crazy knowing that I'd lost you to leech boy"
"..Really?" I said, turning back to face him.
"Really" he nodded once, shrugging his shoulders.
"Oh, Jake" I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around him, burying my face in the nape of his neck.
"I love you Bella," he whispered, wrapping his arms around me "Nothing in this whole world hurt me more than thinking I'd have to live my life without you"
"I'm sorry Jake" I whispered back, tears beginning to pool in my eyes.
"Hey," he soothed, rubbing his thumb in circles on my back "It's not your fault Bella, at least you're here with me now.. for however long you want to be"
The way he said that last part - as if he expected me to just up and leave him - hurt me. I realised then the pain I must have caused him, constantly leaving him for Edward - running between the two like it was no big deal.
Suddenly I was pulling Jake's face to mine, pressing my lips against his urgently - like I had to make it count.
I must have taken him by surprise because for a moment, he didn't respond but then he was kissing me back with the same urgency. Like he has to make this count.
I pulled Jake down with me as I lay back. My hands roaming his burning chest, his muscles seemed to twitch under my touch. I slid my hands down his perfect abs, tugging at his zipper, causing him to freeze - panting - staring down at me with a half-confused, half-lustful look.
"B-Bella?" he questioned.
"Jake, please" I whispered, tugging at his jeans again.
"No, B, wait" he said, sitting back on his heels "Are you sure?"
I stared up at him, the confusion evident on my face, not answering. Is he really asking me this now?
He sighed and sat back on his heels "I knew it" he whispered.
"What? You knew what?" I asked, propping myself up on my elbows.
"I knew you'd have second thoughts," he sighed "I don't wanna be some regret to you Bella"
"..A regret?" I repeated, my eyebrows pinching together again "Why would you be a regret, Jake?"
"Isn't that kinda obvious?" he muttered, looking away from me.
"No it's not obvious at all" I hissed, staring at the side of his head.
"I don't want you to regret me.. I don't want you to regret us Bella," he sighed, staring across the room "I couldn't handle it"
"Jake," I sighed, pushing myself up to lean on my hands "Look at me.. please?"
He continued to stare across the room and, for a second, I thought he hadn't heard me. Of course he did, wolfy hearing remember.
He slowly turned his head towards me, dragging his eyes over my face. Full of pain.
"What do I have to do Bella?" he sighed, his face softening slightly.
"Nothing Jake, you don't have to do anything.." I smiled at him, hoping to reassure him. He turned his face away, chuckling silently. Ouch! Rejection hurts like a bitch.
Suddenly he launched himself forward at me, his massive hands either side of my head on his pillow.
"Is this what you want Bella?" he hissed, staring down at me.
I was dumbstruck. I'd never seen Jake behave like this. Dammmmn.
"Do I have to be this.. monster to keep you interested in me?" he hissed again, his perfect lips pulling back as he bared his teeth. He bent his head over my neck, his hot breath causing my skin to erupt with goosebumps.
"Jake.. I.. What're you doing?" I panted. He ignored me.
"Jake?" I tried again. Still ignoring me. I knew his lips were inches away from my neck. The sensation was clouding my brain. Oh, Jesus.
"Tell me what you want Bella" he commanded, his voice barely more than a whisper. He pressed his searing lips against my skin. Oh sweet Jesus.
"I.. I want you" I muttered, craning my head back, hoping he'd kiss me again.
"Now?" he muttered into my skin, laying a trail of kisses along my jaw line.
"Oh my.. yes" I mumbled, my right hand sliding up the back of his neck, cupping the back of his head.
He pulled back, staring down at me; his eyes so full of lust now.
"Are you sure?" he asked. I just nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"I need to hear you say the words Bella" he whispered, leaning down to skim his teeth along my neck.
"I'm.. I'm positive Jake," I whispered back, closing my eyes "I need you now, I need this.. I want you" I felt him grin against my neck. Jerk.
"Do you mean that?" he asked, his husky voice so low it sent shivers down my spine. Oh. My. God.
"Yes" I whispered, my breath hitching in my throat.
A growl rumbled low in Jake's chest as he pulled back to study me.
"Is this expensive?" he asked, his hand toying with the hem of my tank top. I'm laying here, about ready to explode and you're asking me how expensive my shirt is?
"..No.." I said, raising my eyebrows.
Faster than I could have ever imagined, Jake ripped the shirt from my body and tossed what remained of it over his shoulder. He grinned at me and bent his head to kiss my tummy, just above my belly button.
"Now.." he muttered, hooking his hands in the belt loops of my shorts, grinning up at me. I fumbled to unzip them quickly, as he tugged them down my thighs. I don't have a clue what's going on with him right now but dammit to hell if he's not sexy as a motherfucker!
Jake's left hand slid down between us. His knuckles brushed against my tummy, setting my skin on fire. Grinning down at me, he unbuckled his belt as I helped him wriggle out of his jeans. I stared up at him, breathing in his scent.
His hands slid down my sides, coming to rest on the waistband of my panties. My breath hitched in my throat as he pushed himself against my thigh, leaning down to kiss me.
"Oh God, Jake" I groaned, my hands sliding down his body; tugging at his waistband.
He inhaled slightly and grinned at me. I blushed slightly because I knew exactly what he could smell.
"I.. I.. Fuck it," I said, smiling at him "I need you, like, now"
"I need you, like, yesterday" he smirked, pulling my panties down my thighs before I even had time to blink. I grinned up at him and yanked his boxers down as far as I could, before he shook them off.
"Scoot down a little" he said, his hands sliding up to hold my hips as I scooted down the bed. I sucked my breath back in when I felt the warmth of his member brush my core. He smirked a little then leaned down to kiss me; one of the softest kisses I've ever experienced.
"I love you B," he whispered, his eyes glistening a little. Oh Jake.
"I love you too, Jake" I whispered back.
With one final chaste kiss, he began to push himself into me - it felt like I was being torn inside out. OHMYGOD!
I grabbed hold of the bedsheets and tensed, gritting my teeth.
"I'm sorry, baby, I'm sorry," he whispered against my lips.
"Mm" I whimpered, unable to actually form words.
"It's almost over, I'm sorry" he repeated, his thumbs stroking my hipbones soothingly.
My legs started to shake a little and suddenly the pain began to subside. In it's place was the most wonderful feeling ever. Like having a thousand tiny butterflies in my tummy. Jake began to build up a rhythm. Like being drunk but fully conscious at the same time.
"Mm, Bells" he whispered into my neck, his lips pressing against my skin. Oh holy shit.
--
I lay on the bed, staring lazily up at the ceiling. I was completely out of breath, yet the most comfortable I'd ever felt. Like it's the most natural thing in the whole world. I smiled and turned
my head towards Jake. He was snoring slightly, a dopey smile on his face. Because it is.
well, as always, i'm begging you guys to let me know what you think - your reviews keep me smiling. :] xx