Hi! You all are awesome, ya know that? And if I don't update before the 17th, (most likely because I've started over achieving during school again) …Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Clee Rhara

We start off this issue with just one question. Really quick. What do you think of women with red hair?

"So hot," Qui-Gon drools.

"Babes!" Mace cries.

"Very cute," Cin agrees.

"Babes!" Garen repeats Mace.

After I got past the… emotional pain of one of those responses, I settled down to think. I think I know only one red-head. The bright and charismatic Clee Rhara!

I remember she was pretty, without being one of those women, you know. And I'm not saying anyone with red hair is. But after the responses I got in my brief poll above, I think they all have a pretty good chance at getting guys. And I just had to wonder: is red hair something all guys look for in a girl? And to the male Jedi I question, I have a bigger inquiry: Would you date Clee Rhara?

"If you're talking about Aurra Sing, no, but otherwise, they're gorgeous," Jango Fett, a young bounty hunter trying to make his way in the universe, says while cuddling with his changeling girlfriend by the name of Zam. She immediately changed her hair brick red.

"Clee? Well, she's out of my league," Obi-Wan says, doing a hair flip. "I mean, below my league."

"Don't cha wish your Master was hot like mine?" Garen jeered in a sing-song voice, much to the annoyance of others.

"I dunno, in a relationship there should only be one person with great hair," Cin says haughtily.

"Not after what happened on Korriban!" Qui-Gon gasped.

"Hm… red hair… yes, that is fine, but red skin is better. Fetch me a red twi'lek!" Our corrupt Chancellor commands.

"Why would I want Clee? Zora and I are hunky-dory! Her hair looks like… oh, what's the face? I dunno, but awfully familiar!" says Mace, boyfriend to Qui-Gon notorious 'twin.'

"In my younger days, a 'fro, I had," Yoda informs us in his typical, off topic fashion.

"Gee, you think Clee would go with me to the "Star Heck" convention?" A geeky looking Padawan asks me.

By now I'm sure you're dying to know why I'm doing this. The truth?

"I'm hopelessly single! Tahl, help me!" Clee wailed about three days ago. I pitied my friend. I really did. So I thought this was the least I could do for her. Now she has so many options!

--Letters to the Editor—

Dear Tahl,
As always, I read your tabloid. Such insight! What talent! I hope to meet you someday!
Bwuahahahahaha,
Balog
-Apsolon

Dear Tahl,
Thank you for sharing your tabloid with us. I have come to terms with it, and have realized you have a hobby I can't chop up with a lightsaber. Shout out to my Macey Wacey Windu!
-Zora Antan

-- Horoscopes –

Leo: The fangirls are growing in number. They talk about your muscles on the phone and your nose via email. Be very wary.

Gemini: Your twin is really a Leo. Now shave that girlstache, hun.

Cancer: If you have red hair, I think you're gonna get a boyfriend soon (squee)!

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LIVE LIKE A JEDI – A weeklong camp where you can live like a Jedi! Try our protein cubes and special rations! Meditate, spar, and make new friends! Contact Darth Hoax for details.

WANTED – Back razor. In good condition; sterilized. Preferably purple. Contact Tahl for details.

CONTEST – Vote on your favorite Jedi! Vote on your hottest Jedi! Vote on your favorite Jedi lore! Results will be posted in the Coruscant Times!

Notes on the horoscopes: I've decided Qui-Gon and Cin are Leo. Obi's a Virgo. Zora is a Gemini (Like me!) and Clee is a Cancer (just random; popped into my head) So… maybe you understand the horoscopes a little better now.
Also, you should stop by Metoria's forum. We're having the first ever Jedi Apprentice Awards. C'mon, y'all! It'll be fun! I'll pay for the DJ and pizza. All you gotta do is stop by!
Also, you should review. It makes me happy. It makes me day. It makes me skip through metaphorical fields of daisies.
Psst… I'm gonna put up another multi-chappie JA humor fic. Tahl's POV. It should be funny. Stay tuned!