hey everyone, happy holidays & happy new year. :]
i feel like i've been neglecting this story a little recently but you see, my muse kinda ran off & left me with no inspiration for this story so i started another - then one of my best friends asked me to write a kinda short story about that whole creepy edward in the bedroom with bella thing - so anways, i'm sorry for neglecting you all but i'm back with the longest chapter to date - i hope you all enjoy it. :]
before i let you all wander off into jake & bella land, i have something i need to address; i got an email from a reader who claimed that, by posting the scary bedroom scene, i was 'glorifying & justifying the rape & / or abuse of young teenage girls' & that i didn't 'post suitable warning beforehand' so let me set the record straight right now, i totally & utterly abhor any 'man' who feels that they have the right to hit / abuse or take advantage of a female of any age & i did mention in my author's note that edward was gunna do something bad, so if i offended anyone else, i'm whole-heartedly sorry. the only warning i have for this chapter is a few swear words.
Edward's POV.
What are you doing? You could have caused her actual bodily harm! Why would you even think of doing such things to her?
"Imbecile." I muttered coldly to myself.
I leaned back against a tree, staring up at her window. You are taking your life in your own hands, punishing yourself unnecessarily - why do you feel the need to wait here, wait for him to come to her?
I exhaled slowly, watching the shadow moving against her bedroom wall. She's alone. I straightened slightly. You could explain yourself now, explain why you felt the need to behave in such a terrible way. The rustling behind made me sigh. Of course she'd come now.
"Alice," I sighed, my gaze never leaving Bella's window "Why are you here?"
"I could ask you the same question, Edward." she said, staring up at the sky.
"I.. I have to explain myself to her." I offered, refusing to at her. Coward.
"She won't listen," she stated, glancing at me "You went too far, Edward, you did something that you can never take back."
"I know," I sighed, running a hand through my hair "But I need her to know that being with Jacob is too dangerous, far more dangerous than being with me."
"Do you not remember what happened on her birthday?" she groaned, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms "Jacob makes her happy, Edward, he's good for her."
"He is not good for her, Alice, you know that as well as I do." I sighed. You're fighting a losing battle.
"He is - you have to see that - she can be herself around him, she has a normal life when she's with him, Edward, she deserves a normal life."
"She deserves to be with someone who loves her." I snapped, turning to stare at her. She ignored me, looking up at Bella's window with a knowing smile. She looks beautiful, as always. Alice's thoughts screamed at me and I silently cursed her for torturing me.
"You have to let her go, Edward." she muttered, her thoughts distracting her.
"I can't." I whispered, wishing I didn't sound quite so pathetic.
"You have no choice, she's chosen Jacob and when she tells him what you.. tried to do?" she said, shaking her head and looking at the ground "Well, you had better hope she has a good grip on him and that temper of his." Taking one last look at Bella's window, she turned on her heels and began to walk away.
"Alice?" I called.
"Yes?" she sighed wearily.. She already knows what I'm going to ask.
"Did you.. when she.." I sighed, fighting with myself "Did you see it?"
"Yes," she said, her nose wrinkling slightly "Thankfully only.. some of it."
"I see."
"But no," she called over her shoulder, walking deeper into the forest "I won't tell you about it and I won't think about it - it's their semi-private moment."
I had to smile, even if in frustration. Typical. I took one last long look at Bella's window hoping she'd come into view but she didn't and, with a defeated sigh, I followed Alice home.
--
Bella's POV.
I had to distract myself so I flopped down on my bed, trying to remember every little detail from last night. That hungry look in Jake's eyes. How I couldn't stop touching him, like I physically needed to touch him. Jake's scent. The hot, open-mouthed kisses he placed along my jaw line and down my neck, that made my knees tremble around him. How our bodies seemed to just fit together perfectly. Jake's hands. The way Jake whispered "I love you" against my neck. How we laughed when I banged my forehead against Jake's nose, trying to get a look at what his hand was doing between my thighs; what exactly was making me feel like he'd lit a fire in the bottom my tummy. That perfectly formed muscle between Jake's neck and shoulder, what did he call it? the trapezius muscle. How I had to remind myself that you couldn't actually drown in someone's eyes. Except Jake's. The way Jake pushed in so deep it almost hurt - I admit, I whimpered - but it felt so amazing at the same time. I like pain? I'm officially a sadomasochist. How Jake hissed when I dragged my tiny nails down his back. The way I blushed later when I remembered some of the things I'd said to him, things I didn't even think I was capable of thinking nevermind saying. How nothing in the world seemed to matter more than me and Jake. The way I grabbed his hand and squeezed - until I thought I was gunna hurt him - as I came. How Jake kissed me - one of those lip-bruising, toe-curling, breath-taking kisses - when he came. How Jake kissed his way down my body as he pulled out. Jake's lips. The way we lay in the darkness - holding hands, listening to each other breathing. How Jake snores when he sleeps. The way I whispered to Jake as we sat together on the couch in the morning, prodding his trapezius muscle and asking what it was called causing him to grin and flex it.
The phone's ringing. I sighed in frustration and hauled myself up off the bed.
I paused at the top of the stairs as Charlie grunted into the phone.
"Hello, Swann residence?" his gruff, just-been-woken-up-so-this-better-be-good voice carried up to me. Oooh someone's in trouble.
"No, I wasn't sleeping.. shut up, I'm not an old man.. you're an old man, oh yes you are.." Billy Black. I chuckled to myself. They're like an old married couple. "Tonight? No, we don't have any plans.. a barbeque? Sure, that'd be great.. alright, we'll see you then.. huh? Bells? Yeah, she's good, better than good actually.. uh-huh.. oh, I hope so too.. she's coming down now, yeah alright, I'll see you later Billy."
I crossed the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and pulling out the bottle of orange juice before I spoke.
"So," I smiled, pouring my drink into a glass "A barbeque, huh?"
"Yeah," Charlie said, sitting down at the table with a smile "You haven't made plans already, have you?"
"Nope, Billy just made my plans for me." we chuckled.
Two and half hours - four outfit changes, a broken eyeliner and plenty of frustration over my hairstyle - later, I was ready.
I stared at myself in the mirror; a simple white camisole, my cut-off shorts, white and silver flip-flops and a clutch. Pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. I'd given up on my hair a long time ago, so it just hung in tussled ringlets. Stupid won't-stay-in-the-right-place hair. I glared at it then laughed at myself.
--
"Dad!" I called upstairs again, tapping my foot impatiently "We're gunna be late."
"I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered, buttoning the last few buttons on his shirt as he walked downstairs "Jeez, you'd think there was someone real special you had to see tonight Bells."
"Funny, Dad, real funny" I rolled my eyes, grinning at him.
"Alright, alright," he said, picking up his keys and wallet "You ready to go?"
I held my bag up and nodded my head towards the open front door. "Some of us have been ready for a long time."
"Well, you know, some of us take a little longer to look like this" he chuckled, motioning to himself "The famous lady's man look."
"Oh my god," I laughed, pointing out into the street "Out. Now. Please."
--
"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Charlie asked, peering at me whilst trying to keep him attention on the road.
"What? Yeah, I'm fine Dad" I lied, shifiting in my seat "Just a little.. nervous, I guess" Liar, liar pants on fire.
"Nervous? About what?" he chuckled, glancing over at me again.
"Well, you know, it's the first time me and Jake are gunna be seen.. together." I said, shrugging and staring at my shorts like they were interesting.
"You two have been seen together a million times before Bella," he smiled "Tonight's no different from any of those times."
"I know, it's just.. we're going public tonight, I guess I'm just worried about the reactions we're gunna get." I said, only half lying this time.
I wasn't worried about what people thought of me and Jake at all. If they don't like it then they don't have to be around us. The only thing I was worried about was having to tell Jake what had happened today. I don't think even think Edward would've actually gone through with that.. do I? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, and stared out of the window. Almost home. I smiled.
I felt Charlie glance at me as he eased the cruiser to a stop outside Billy's house. He killed the engine and turned to me, hesitantly.
"It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, Bells." he mumbled, putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I know," I grinned, unbuckling my seatbelt and stretching over to hug him "Thank you Dad."
--
"Charlie, Bella," I heard Billy call, wheeling himself out of the kitchen "I thought for a second that you two weren't gunna show."
"Oh, you can blame him for that," I smiled at Billy, gently nudging Charlie in the ribs with my elbow "Apparently it takes a long time to achieve this 'ladies man' look."
"Is that right?" Billy chuckled, turning and wheeling himself outside "Well come on, ladies man, you're missing the party."
I turned to follow him and Charlie who were already bickering like a little old married couple, when I felt Jake's warmth behind me.
"Hey," he said, wrapping his arms around me "I missed you."
"I missed you more." I grinned, turning to kiss him.
"Oh, really?" he grinned, winking at me "I'm gunna show you that I missed you ten times more.. later."
"Jake!" I laughed, slapping his arm in mock-outrage.
He grinned at me, planted a chaste kiss on my lips and grabbed my hand, pulling me out into the backyard.
--
"Bella!" I heard Leah call, beckoning me over to her chair.
"Hey," I grinned, sitting in the chair opposite her "How are you?"
"Nevermind that," she laughed, lowering her voice slightly "How are you?"
"I'm.. amazing actually, last night was the best," I said, grinning at her "But, uh.."
"But, uh, what?"
"Well, I have to tell Jake something, I don't really want to but I have to," I sighed, shrugging "I'm just scared of what he's gunna do when he knows.."
"You're not.. y'know, are you?" Leah asked, raising her eyebrows.
"What? Oh God, no, not that." I laughed, shaking my head.
"Then what is it Bella?" Leah asked, leaning in towards with concern.
"I.. well, you see.." I stuttered then sighed, holding my wrist out.
Leah just stared at it for a few seconds before reaching out to skim her fingertips over my slightly-less-bruised-but-still-too-purple-for-my-liking skin.
"Edward did this," she said, glancing up at me then back down at my wrist "He hurt you." It wasn't a question, more of a statement.
"That's kinda what I have to tell Jake," I sighed, running my own fingers over my wrist in a massaging motion "But it's not the only thing.."
"There's more than this?" she said, her voice raising a little too much.
"Shh!" I hissed, looking around nervously "Yes, there's more and it's much worse than just some bruise on my wrist."
"What.. what did he do?" Leah whispered back, her eyes widening.
"He didn't actually do anything but he.. tried," I shrugged, shuddering as I was forced to remember how cold his skin felt.
"He didn't!" she hissed, starting to tremble slightly.
"Leah, calm down, please," I whispered, grabbing her hands. We looked around quickly, hoping none of the pack were within ear-shot. You're still forgetting about that super-wolfy-hearing, aren't you Bella. Our eyes fell on Sam, standing a few feet away. He was staring, wide-eyed, at me and I just knew that he knew something. Oh shit. Leah raised her hand, beckoning him over and he jogged towards us.
"How much did you hear?" Leah asked, trying to control her trembling.
"Every word." he deadpanned, still staring at me like I'd suddenly sprouted another head.
"You have to tell Jake now, Bella," Leah sighed, looking at me "At least, with Billy and Charlie here, he can't go crazy and hunt Edward down."
I sighed, nodding my head but glaring down at my wrist.
"Come on," Sam said, nodding his head in Jake's direction "We'll come with you."
"Yeah," Leah said, trying her best to give me a reassuring smile "You're gunna need all the help you can get controlling that temper of his."
--
Jake was leant on the garage, talking to Seth. Leah held my hand while Sam trailed along behind us, looking sheepish. Seth looked up first, followed by Jake. My heart began to hammer in my chest when I saw his eyes dart between me and Leah, I watched his face fall and his demeanour change. Oh Jesus. He took four huge strides and met us halfway.
"B?" his husky voice sent chills down my spine and I had to force myself to concentrate "What's wrong?"
"Not here," Sam said, looking around quickly "Let's take a walk."
I nodded and glanced up at Jake, reaching for his hand. He nodded sharply, reaching down for my hand without looking at me. He didn't look at me as we turned, heading for the beach either. He didn't look at me when Leah took my other hand, squeezing it tight in hers. He didn't look at me at all.
--
I stared down at the sand, taking deep breaths. Leah stood beside me, looking from Jake to Sam to me.
"Someone wanna tell me what this all about?" Jake finally said.
"Bella has something to tell you." Sam said, shifting uncomfortably.
"Then I can pretty much guess what she's gunna say already." he sneered, causing me to look up; straight into his eyes. What the hell?
"What's that supposed to mean?" I spat, crossing my arms over my chest. Now is definitely not the time to be getting defensive Bella.
"You know exactly what I mean." If I didn't know better, I'd swear Jake bared his teeth. I stared at him, trying to read that look in his eyes. He thinks..
"You think.. You honestly think - after last night -" I hissed, glaring at him "That I'd come here and tell you that?"
"Maybe," he shrugged, glaring right back at me "Wouldn't be the first time would it, Bells?"
"Fuck you, Jacob." I snapped before I turned away from him, stalking off down the beach; refusing to let him see me cry. I tried to pretend my heart didn't break just a little when he didn't chase after me. But it did. I stumbled around blindly, tears clouding my vision, for what seemed like forever. Finally, I sank down onto the sand, gasping for air.
"Bella." I heard her sigh. Of course, she'd be the one to come to my rescue.
"C'mere," she sighed, sinking down beside me and wrapping an arm around my shoulder "You know he didn't mean that, he's just scared that he's gunna lose you."
"How could he think that I'd do that to him?" I asked, glancing up at her "I mean, after last night, after everything.. how could he think I'd do just turn around and leave him now?"
"Simple," she shrugged, a smile playing on her lips "He's an idiot."
I laughed then, knowing that I sounded slightly hysterical but not actually caring. Because Leah, of all people, won't judge me.
She smiled down at me. "You ready to go back?"
I sighed and glanced down the beach. I could just make out the figures of Sam, Jake, Embry and Seth. Sam, Embry and Seth sitting on a log staring up at Jake as he paced up and down, hands shoved deep into his pockets. I groaned inwardly. The last thing I need is more of an audience. Without a word, I nodded, wiping messily at my eyes and dusting myself off. Leah gave me a reassuring smile as I reached for her hand. I took one last steadying-breath and we made our way back to the boys.
--
Jake's POV.
"You're a fucking idiot." Leah huffed as we watched Bella stumble away from us. From me.
"Jacob, maybe you should go after her." Sam chimed in, cupping the back of his neck with one hand.
"What's the point?" I laughed bitterly, glancing in Bella's direction "I already know what she's gunna tell me." I could already see her telling me that loves me but that she's chosen him. Again.
"No, Jacob," Leah said, gritting her teeth "You have no fucking idea!"
I jumped up, opening my mouth to give her some smart-assed comeback as she turned, storming off after Bella. Words escaped me, my mouth hanging open, my eyes boring holes into her back. What the hell is her problem? Sam sighed and sat down, staring up at me.
"Yo," Embry hollered, making his way towards us "Why are you down here? Party's up there, bro." He slapped my shoulder, grinning at me.
"Me and Bella," I sighed, glancing at him then down at the sand "We, uh, we had a fight."
"Already?!"
"Yes already." I snapped, rolling my eyes.
"What happened?" he asked, sinking down onto the log beside Sam and Seth.
"She's got something to tell me," I said, beginning to pace slightly "And I-"
"And he jumped to conclusions and upset her." Sam sighed, shaking his head. I paused, staring down at him. He was giving me that look again.
"Wait.. do you, do you know what she's gunna say?" I asked, turning to face him properly. He wouldn't answer; looking away and refusing to make eye contact with me. He knows.
"Sam," I growled "What is it?"
He sighed, finally looking up at me then glancing over my shoulder. "She can tell you herself, she has to."
I turned slowly, watching her cling to Leah's hand like her life depended on it. What the fuck is going on?
--
Bella's POV.
My heart began to hammer against my ribcage as I watched Jake turn to face us, his face like thunder. Oh shit. I felt Leah squeeze my hand and I knew she could hear the jackhammer in my chest too.
"You'll be fine." she whispered as she gave my hand one final squeeze. She slid between me and Jake, taking her seat on the log beside Embry.
"Bella, what the hell is going on?" he said through gritted teeth "If you're not here to break up with me then what's wrong?"
"Jake, I.. I'm sorry, okay, I.. there was nothing I could do to stop it, I mean, not that there was much to stop but-"
"Bella stop," Leah said, her voice quiet and calm; soothing "Just show him your wrist."
I looked at her as the boys looked at each other, she nodded quickly. I sighed and thrust my arm towards Jake, squeezing my eyes closed. Like that's gunna help, you big coward.
My eyes popped open involuntarily when I felt Jake's fingers on my skin, dusting over the bruise. It seemed like time just stood still with Jake's fingers tracing over the bruise. Embry, Sam and Seth peered over his shoulder at my wrist, all mumbling and asking questions. Except for Sam. He already knew what had happened. I had to remind myself to breathe.
"Alright enough," Leah finally spoke, holding a hand up to silence the rabble "There's more to this, I think maybe you'd all better sit down."
I watched as they all jostled for a space on the log with Seth ending up on the sand because, well, the size and age of the others won out. Leah draped her arm around my shoulder, giving me a quick squeeze before she sat down. I took a calming breath and turned to face Jake, who was staring at me so intently that I began to blush.
"Well, today - after I left here - I went home and I had a visitor, I think you already know who that was.." I looked at Jake, shaking my head slightly "I told him to leave but he didn't - not at first - he, he must've heard your thoughts because he knew.. about us," I raised my eyebrows and he nodded, "He started attacking you and I couldn't take it - I couldn't have him come into my house and say things like that, not about you - so I started yelling at him, defending you," I glanced at him, seeing the quick smile on his face "Then he just looked at me and suddenly he's pinning me to wall, his knee right here," I paused, pointing between my closed thighs "I told him to get the hell away from but he just stared at me again.. luckily Charlie came home and he had to leave but.." I trailed off, looking at the three stunned faces staring back at me. Sam and Leah were less shocked, but they were still trembling.
"He tried to.." Seth tried, swallowing that last part and grimacing like it left a bad taste in his mouth.
"I'm not sure what he thought he was going to do." I sighed, shrugging once.
Embry was already up on his feet; pacing, yelling, cussing and promising a very slow, very painful death to Edward but it all sounded so far away when Jake jumped up, trembling almost uncontrollably but I could see that he was desperately clinging to that last part of himself.
"Where is he?" he growled, his beautiful brown eyes now almost black.
"I.. I think he went home," I mumbled quickly. You have to try and calm him down. I reminded myself, reaching out for his hand.
"Bella don't!" Sam and Embry called out in unison. I immediately pulled back my hand, mentally scolding myself for being so stupid.
"He's too close, Bella." Leah whispered, placing a careful hand on my shoulder as she fought to control her own trembling. Jake took off down the beach, heading for the forest. I began to panic, with visions of Jake hunting Edward down running through my mind, as we chased after him, finally catching up just inside the shade of the thick trees.
"Jacob," Sam tried, his voice calm and slow "Stop. We have to talk about this."
Jake spun around, glaring at him. "What is there to talk about?!"
"We have to talk about what he did and form a plan." Sam tried again. Not really helping Sam.
"Form a plan?" Jake deadpanned, staring at him like he was about to rip him in two "Fuck 'a plan' Sam. Did you not hear what he did to Bella? She's my girlfriend and it's my job to protect her!"
"She's part of our family Jacob," Sam warned, all signs of his calm voice now gone "So it's our job to protect her."
"Then let's do it," Embry chimed in, tossing his t-shirt on the ground "Let's go get him. Now."
"You're not helping Embry." Sam sighed. It was his turn to glare now.
"I don't care, Sam, you heard what he did to Bells - how would you react if someone did that to Em?" he shrugged, turning to glance at me "I'm with Jake on this one."
"Enough," I croaked, stepping towards Jake "Please don't do this." He stared at me for a moment, his eyes softening just a little, as he studied my face.
"Are you asking me not to do this because you still love him?" he sighed.
"No," I deadpanned, reaching out to touch his cheek with my hand "I'm asking you not to do this because I love you."I heard him exhale, felt the hot blast of air hit my face, before he stepped forward and pressed his lips to mine, his arms encircling me.
"I love you too, B," he whispered, arms still wrapped around me "That's why I have to do this, he hurt you, he could've-"
"But he didn't," I reminded him "And he won't dare come near me again Jake, not now. So, please, just.. leave this alone, for me."
He looked from me, to Sam; who nodded, to Embry; who shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest, to Seth; who was still to stunned to even react, to Leah.
"This isn't about you settling a score Jake," she said, looking at me now "This is about Bella, if she wants you to leave it alone then you have to leave it alone."
"Why?" he asked and I couldn't help but smile because, for a moment, he sounded like a whiney little kid who didn't understand why he was being told off.
"Simple," Leah smiled, shrugging "Because you love her."
let me know what you thought, pleaseeee? :] xx