Hey, people! Hey, if you look up there by the reviews, you can see that this fic has… 108 reviews. Whoa! *starts to cry* if you had told me that so many people would be reading this little fic of mine last July…I would have laughed. But now, I see that dreams do come true. *sniffle*: D Methinks I have Reh Ankh, an anonymous reviewer, to thank for this. And if she had an account I would totally throw him/her a party and invite the entire Jedi Order with them as the guest of honor. And everyone else would be invited, too, because you all are awesome and supportive and I couldn't have done it without your ideas, feedback, and constant lols ringing through my ears to give me confidence. This is possibly the longest author's note ever, so… on with the chapter!

They said- and then he- but I…!

Allow me to start over. My one and only love has been sent to his death! The Council has done their worst deed yet! They have sent Qui-Gon Jinn to… Ryloth! Land of the twi'leks!

The last man to go to Ryloth was… well, I can't exactly locate his name. They erased it from Archive records (scandal #2!) because it was such a disgrace to the Jedi.

So the Council- I'm sure Mace was behind it- chose one of the best men in the order. I should be proud of him; I know. But maybe Qui's Master is right- maybe he is just a boy. Suppose he ends up eloping with someone? Or worse? I- er we- will be disgraced!

"Aw, man! Why does Jinn get all the fun?" Garen whines.

"We will be disgraced. There goes the last sensible man in the Order," Adi Gallia pouts.

"I can't tell you much. But I can tell you that he packed his aftershave and chili pepper boxers," Obi-Wan says with a hint of envy. Envy that Qui-Gon is going instead of him, I mean. And that was the aftershave he used to save for me!

"I warned you, Tahl!" Mace cackled evily. "I warned you to quit prying!"

"Don't take it personally. Long distance relationships never work out; twi'leks or no twi'leks," Aayla Secura tries to sympathize.

"They sent the boy where?" Dooku splutters. He promptly stormed out to yell at someone. Probably The Council. But maybe a Youngling.

"Self control, Jinn has." Yoda assures me. "Except when it comes to hologames. And teaching. And pie. And the dark side. But freak out, you should not."

"I think I once dated a twi'lek. Or was it a really slim Hutt? There is really no difference," Kit Fisto reminds me. Aayla will be mad at him as soon as this issue is published…

"The probability of Qui-Gon Jinn still loving you after the mission is about 1,265,430 to 1," TooJay informs me.

"You mean we're rid of him?" Tears shine in Bant's eyes.

So everyone thinks he is all set to leave me and the Jedi. Dear readers, if that ever happens, I fear I will die of grief. Let us hope I-and this Tabloid-will survive.

---Letters to the Editor---

Dear Tahl,
Ryloth is very nice. I've never seen such a beautiful landscape. I believe I have found true happiness here.
Love, Qui-Gon

Dear Tahl,
H3Y L!K3 I LUV UR TABL0!D R0Ck 0N 43VAAAA!
-V3ra n00by

---Horoscopes---

Sagittarius: You better watch out. One very angry and very slim Hutt will kill you in your sleep once this issue is published. If your name is Kit Fisto.
Virgo: Remember to never, ever become like your Master. All it will give you is a reputation.

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So, will Tahl keep writing the Tabloid (of course she will, you think I'll ever stop this fic? ) …but what is her motivation? Does Qui-Gon make it back? Or is her motivation… the precious?
Hahaha! That sounded really… wrong. But it should give you a hint as to what the next chapter should be like.
RoMythe came up with the idea for the 2nd advertisement, by the way. I must give her credit.
So feel free to review, they make my day. Anonymous or signed in; I don't mind. As long as it's not spam. :)