Hey everyone. Just to warn ya ahead of time: I don't know when I'll be able to update again. 'Cause I has problems that need sorting out. :D
Oh, this chapter is sure to be a shocker! I do hope you like it.

To my dear relief, Qui-Gon returned from Ryloth without any trace of... disgrace on him. If anything, he loves me even more. For he brought me back... the precious.

Ah-choo... Ah-choo... we wants it! We needs it! We musst protect it! We must not sp-sspeak of it in the Tabloid!

But we must share the precious with the galaxy! Ah-choo, Ah-choo, Ah-choo! We must be unselfish! We must... help the common good!

But they will come and steal the precious! They wants it! They wants it!

But it's yours! Soon-to-be-hubby Jinn won't let it come to harm!

Ah-choo must... trust Soon-to-be-Hubby?

Yes, yes. And before we knows it... the precious will be safely ours!

So now wes may brag about it to the nice readers?

Yes, yess we will.

It's a platinum band with a big honkin' diamond that fits right on we hand perfectly. It is... the ring! And we have wanted it! We have wanted it for so longs! And now we has it!

Ah-choo! Won't you ask the nice readers what they think of... the ring?

Ah yes, very good ideas, we has.

"Considering I proposed with it, I'm rather fond of it," our Soon-to-be-Hubby Qui-Gon Jinn says.

"Oh, we're doomed! Curse Jinn and his hormones!" a hormonal Obi-Wan Kenobi thinks we're ruining his life.

"If that ring is for what it think it's for, you better have gotten me a pony for my birthday," Bant seethes.

"Bigger than my eyeball itself, it is! And keep it on your finger you do, hm?" Yoda scrutinizes.

"He could have traded that rock in for a really nice landspeeder," Mace Windu's cheap nose sniffs aristocratically.

"What is that, a lightsaber crystal? But it's purple-did he steal Mace's?" Cin Drallig asks.

"Ooh! Shiny-squirrel!" a hyperactive Youngling sqeals.

"Precious... beautiful, precious, give it to me!" Siri begs. We got away real fast.

"I'll rip you to shreds if you don't hand it over right now!" Zora Antan screams. We got away even faster.

"It's, um, purple," Clee Rhara remarks innocently. "Wait, did Qui-Gon give that to you? You man stealer, you don't deserve to walk down the aisle with him, you-" at this point, we called security. This is all you need to know.

Adi Gallia didn't say anything for a moment. "Give me the precious! I need it! I wants it! It's mine!" She shrieked, lunging towards me in a full blown attack. Now we is in the healer's wing... we is in pain; something hurts in ours head!

Ah-choo! But they say it's not Master Gallia's fault, it'ss the precious...

---LETTERS TO THE EDITOR---

Dear Tahl,
Heyheyhey! It's me, Ricky Prickly! You know-host of Reality Central? I've enclosed my card-call me up! We want to make Tahl's Talk a reality show!"
-Ricky Prickly

Dear Ricky,
Heyheyhey! Uh, no.
-Tahl

Dear Tahl,
I read your tabloid and just wanted to let you know that Qui-Gon was very well behaved on his trip to Rytoth. He flossed after every meal and recycled!
-Ly'dia
Rytoth
P.S. He really isn't all that 'rawr,' you know.

---ADVERTISMENTS---

COME to Dr. Mel's free lecture on Personalities Multiplying Syndrome. (PMS) "It is generally caused by extreme excitement or stress after 9 bowls of Chili," he drones on.

FREE- chocolate bunnies. First come, first served. Not guaranteed fresh by date stamped on box. Stop by the Chancellor's office to pick up your free box!

NEW- Hair clippings of Garen Muln's. Clone your very own army of Garens, or make your own Garen boyfriend! Not in stores- contact Garen Muln for details.

---HOROSCOPES---

Virgo: A tuxedo is in your future, complete with an ion cannon to guard the precious.
Gemini: Life... is like a planet. It revolves, but not around you. And you can quote we on that.

So… that's it for this chappie. Why is Tahl acting like Gollum? And do all the female Jedi really want to marry Jinn, or are they just attracted to the ring?
Speaking of which, what do you think of Qui-Gon and Tahl getting married? Like the idea, hate the idea, or so-so with the idea? I'd love to know. :)
Reviews would cheer me up on my second-to-last day of spring break.